We're ovulating again, so let's jump our men. It's TTC after miscarriage thread 11

[Lime19]

Not sure if I should start new thread for this? Is there one open already?

Funny conincidence conker- I work with adults with diabetes (mainly type 1s). That is such a powerful thought for the run- very, very good motivation!

I planning to do three this week too hometown. That's hard when your in a situation that you can't really tell people as I think people say so many hurtful things as they have no idea so they don't realise at all about the impact of what they are saying. Thanks for sharing that link- I got goose bumps when they talked about the scans. What a brace couple

Agree with being more open about miscarriage. I have told quite a few people. Some people have been brilliant. It tends to be the unexpected people. Men at work or my mate from uni.

Some people are treating me like I've got a contagious disease though. Communications have stopped. They have stoped asking if I'm ok. They have stopped communicating about their lives incase it upsets me. I'm quite sad about that to be honest.

Morning all.

Quick question: have any of you been prescribed progesterone either after miscarriage or to try to prevent it?

I was given some on Friday (for ten days) in another bid to stop this incessant bleeding, and I think it's working (although I had a horribly painful, cramping day yesterday; like the worst menstrual cramps imaginable for about four hours). But I've been doing some reading (I know: uh oh...my husband tells me he gets frightened every time I start reading about these things because I apparently work myself up over dozens of uncontrollable factors and then am cross when I can't find all the answers. He may have a point. Knowledge can be dangerous!). Anyway, I did some reading and learnt that in Europe they sometimes prescribe it during early pregnancy to try to decrease risk of miscarriage and I just wondered if anyone had any experience of this. x

Rachel I have heard of it and I think I saw they were doing some trials into it on the NHS but to get it you need to have a confirmed pregnancy and some early pregnancy bleeding I think. By those guidelines I could have qualified for the trial but it's only running in certain hospitals in UK and none where I am. I don't know if it would have worked or not but can't help but wonder at times.

Racheal, I am on a protocol that once I get a bfp (fx!!!!) I start progesterone and prednisolone. Reading opens up a whole can of worms, as what do you go with! I am like you! My take is progesterone might just prolong the inevitable, but I have had lots of inevitables already so am now willing to try anything! I have now been told to take progesterone towards the end of my cycle to help lengthen it, but my luteal phase is always 12 days, just the follicular that can be shorter, so am getting my progesterone levels checked to see what they are this month at the end of the luteal phase before re-starting progesterone at the end of he cycle as I really think it affected my mood and made me feel really down

I've been given the option of progesterone from BFP to 12 weeks, alongside clexane injections. I've never had bleeding in pregnancy and had the opposite problem with trying to miscarry but my consultant said it will support the pregnancy. With my last bfp he said to take if I had any spotting/bleeding/brown cm but that it was up to me if I wanted to and if I started it I'd have to keep on it till 12 weeks. I didn't and just went with the injections.

He had a rather odd theory that with my early mcs in the past it was possible I'd bled because I was miscarrying, and also that I started bleeding and it sort of washed away the pregnancy. Sounded very odd tbh! And I never ever bleed unless I have AF or am actually losing a baby.

But next time I'm throwing everything at it so will def try progesterone. The only thing I was warned about was that if the pregnancy fails you won't lose it until you stop the progesterone so it would be picked up at a scan and be a MMC, rather than losing it without warning.

I don't feel very good about that. But like I say, throwing everything and the kitchen sink at it!

Starshine, what's the pred being given for if you don't mind me asking?

Bit of an update (beware TMI)... not sure if it was the progesterone or just nature, but after yesterday's severe cramping, this morning I passed this enormous clot. It's more than a clot, actually; its tissue...like sponge. And it's a little bigger than a golf ball. 🤢 Very unpleasant, but now the cramping has more or less stopped and I suddenly feel great. So weird. Not sure what I should do...ring gp (again!) or just ride it out and assume that whatever it was, it's gone now and maybe I'll finally be on the home straight?!

This whole ttc/mc stuff is so full of weirdness, hey?

Had a cry last night on DH, I should have been 16 weeks last Sunday, and all I have is this uncertainty of whether it will work this month or not. I just want to make plans! I want to carry on ordering baby things! So unfair.

I'm in fertile week now - getting lots of action in, but just don't feel like it's gonna work. Why didn't it work last month? Argh

This thread is moving quickly! I'd like to tell more people, I just never seem to manage to get the words out. It's funny I'm ok with it now, but when I first found out I wasn't it a good place at all and I was really really annoyed that my mum had told some of my family about my pregnancy. I felt like such a failure and that it was my fault and I didn't want anyone else to know know. It's funny how time changes that. Anne I think you're right, if it comes up with my friends I'll just tell them the truth (hopefully, I don't know why my words dry up when trying to talk about it out loud!).

I still don't know if I want to tell anyone if I get pregnant again. Part of me hates the knowing looks and people questioning if your pregnant in the early stages - my friends wouldn't ask me outright if I didn't tell them, but you know they are talking about it when I'm not there! Equally if I miscarry again I don't know if I could face telling everyone. It was such a painful time and it feels like it'd make it worse if I had to tell people. I'm sort of jumping the gun though - I need to get pregnant again first

I'm cd29 today, Ovia thinks af is due tomorrow. I think it'll be later so I'm just continuing to wait for it.

DH booked in for appointment at urologist next week. Cycle day 2 here but not being too hard on me this time.

A good cry always helps I find @squirrel - it exhausts me but I always feel better afterwards!!
I am having a v dramatic day - took a pregnancy test this am as is two weeks after miscarriage and is still
Just as positive - so now. We'd to ring the EPU! Which I hate doing but know I need to - am sure they will say wait another week but with my history am v worried that there will be retained products and I will need another op which I so do not want!!!!!
Then this am in none ttc news - this am I drive to a work meeting - parked the car - was an hour into meeting and got called out to say there was a prob with my car! Turns out I have accidentally parked on a disguarded can of explosive (who has disguarded cans of explosive in their car park Ffs??!!!!) they ring hazchem, the police, fire brigade and the bomb squad!!!!! Queue loads of blue flashing lights!
All turned out well in the end - fire brigade removed my car - decontaminated it with v good wash and sorted it the explosive but really gave me a huge shock as at one point they were talking about doing a controlled explosion on my car!!!!!!!!! I need a long lie down in a dark room!!!!!
In better news by new salt water sandals had arrived by the time I think drove v shakily home!!!!!! What a day!!!!

Rachel is probably give the gp a quick call just to check, but it does sound like maybe that's what your body was trying to get rid of and now that you have you can recover a bit. Fingers crossed this is the start of your road back to a more normal cycle!

Grumpy I'm so sorry, I know exactly how that feels. I have all the same worries. All I can say is time helps (although as you've seen I frequently get very fed up about it all). Currently I'm feeling a bit more positive, I'm focusing on things that aren't TTC. I've grieved for the baby and future I thought I'd have and I'm trying my hardest to just enjoy my current life and not keep thinking what if I got pregnant now. It's definitely helping. Start to make plans, you can always change them if necessary, but living in a limbo of I can't do anything becuse I might get pregnant will send you dolally. I have no answers as to why it doesn't work every month (I am starting to think there is a design flaw in the human anatomy - how can it be this ineffective at procreation!) but I'm telling myself that it can take time for your body to recover after a miscarriage and that's why I'm not pregnant yet despite getting pregnant first attempt with my first two pregnancies.

Oh wow conker that sounds really stressful!! At least you can have a glass of wine. I'm sorry about your bfp (feels odd to write that!) I hope that it sorts itself out without need for surgery. Enjoy the new sandles.

@grumpy - second the above - making plans definitely helps me - booking holidays - having nice things to look forward to ! As @double says you can always change them - but living in the moment is defo one of my best coping strategies! Just not when the moment involves nearly having to have your car exploded!
It frustrates me when lots of friends ask 'do you know why the miscarriages happen?!!' And I have to say no -99% of the time we have no idea and it is bad luck and we just have to pick ourselves up and carry on!
I have gone through huge periods of blaming myself - was it because I run, or do too much or drank one cup of tea too many! But in the end of the day it is natures way of saying I think that that baby would not have been able to survive and that is so hard but it does help me to cope!
And this thread does too - here is the one place you know you can come where people will be absolutely lovely and non judgey and there will be no silly questions like that!

Hi all, sorry i went awol for a bit, needed some headspace. Met my new nephew at the weekend, he was only 9 days old and while it was wonderful i couldn't help but feel a massive pang of sadness at what I've lost. Anyway i'm hoping to hit my fertile week in a bit i think, although it still feels a little different since the mmc so am peeing on ov sticks to hope that i catch it... cd8 at the minute.

unicorn i am having lots of pre af setting too since mmc, which is very odd and not what i'm used too, so you having a more normal af gives me hope things will be back to normal soon.

anne sorry af is here, massive hugs to you.

dancing i don't want you to rejoin either! i'm keeping everything crossed for you - i love hearing good news on this thread!

conker what a day!! but excellent handle purchase, i love my saltwalters.

hello to everyone new on here, so sorry you find yourselves here too x

And re talking about miscarriage, i'm posting this again for anyone that didn't see the first time it as i found it the most comforting and truthful article on miscarriage and so glad someone like that used her space in the paper to talk openly about it when it can't have been easy...
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/13/hadley-freeman-miscarriage-silence-around-it

That Hadley freeman article is so brilliantly and wonderfully written and makes me cry every time :-(

Conker! That is so stressful! What a day for you! I read a book by Hadley Freeman a long time ago that really helped (not specifically with miscarriage but she is good at putting what we are all thinking).

I get frustrated that some people think "you should be over it by now" or whatever. Or taking about it makes people awkward. I Even sort of get that vibe from DP now

Re progesterone i went to st marys RMC laat week and they said that they did a trial recently and found that there was no evidence of it being beneficial. They didnt even measure my hormone levels.

Aftet the world's longest wait im going to start ttc again in a couple of weeks, cant wait!!

Sorry to hear how your feeling grumpy- I def felt like that last cycle- what's the point and just didn't feel it was going to happen- and it didn't, but agree with conker and double that planning things is a really good idea- I try to have something nice to look forward to every few months, so there is always something! I reckon our hormones are on complete roller coaster rides which doesn't help. Hang in there, a good cry is definitely a good idea and sometimes I also think you just need to let yourself feel a bit annoyed with it all for a day or so.

What a day conker! Sorry you've still got a positive result- this whole process is so complicated!

Anne- I had a test for nk cells, which were raised and that means I am now following a protocol where I have to take prednisolone after ovulation for ten days, but continue if we have a bfp until 12 weeks. The theory is they stop the body attaching the foetus - there is mixed evidence, but like you said, I am just trying everything this time! Have been to the rmc clinic in Epsom privately as haven't had much success with the NHS- had an appt with them in May and now waiting for a follow up until mid September for the results!

That article is good - thanks for sharing nocats

Good lord conker what a dramatic day!

Crikey, this thread is moving at lightening speed! And crikey, conker, what a day!

I've had my appointment at the RMC now, which was actually a bit depressing. They were all very nice and took even more blood for tests. I'll get the results in a month. But the bottom line is that, now I'm 40, apparently 50% of my eggs are defective so I just have to keep trying until one sticks. I don't want to keep trying until one sticks. I want to get pregnant and stay pregnant

I've also now got to wait 6 weeks for a transvaginal scan on the NHS, so I think I'm going to go private. Did anyone else find it took a frustrating length of time to get through all the tests so you could start ttc again? It's not like I've got time to wait...

That should have read time to waste...

Stepaway (love your username btw) yes it took forever. If it was down to the NHS I still wouldn't have a follow up from a scan I had at the end of May- I called today and they hadn't even got any notes on the system so I had to go round the houses again to be told call back in 2 weeks! If I get put through to the birth centre one more time...

Anyway sorry I went private - consultation scan and follow up within a week. Cost a bomb though.

Also I'm so sorry you are going through that it is so frustrating and adds to the upset