Let's get this shaggathon on the road! We are breaking out the buzzy friends, lubeing up our fanjo's and prepping the men! Let's make a baby the old fashioned way! It's only f**king JS'ing 63!

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 62 is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2796204-Lights-twinkle-its-icy-cold-outside-tis-the-season-of-Yuletide-come-and-join-us-yes-you-For-this-is-JS62?msgid=68412463#68412463" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2768810-come-hither-upduffed-viroids-here-we-will-hold-your-hand-through-scans-rejoice-at-your-hairy-shins-and-of-course-share-your-lust-over-ian-mcshane-it-s-js-grads-48?pg=16" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Hello!

So - AF is here! Fuck me that was a bit unexpected. Day 29 following mc which is a short cycle for me (normally 33) and also the cycle had been all over the shop, so I had no idea when to expect anything to happen. I am sad that we didn't do the magical WTF cycle conception this time, but actually quite relieved because I didn't feel that the cycle was stable enough this time and I was still getting some hcg showing up which made me wonder if something was retained following the procedure. (sorry if tmi)

So all in all Im taking this as a fresh start and that this is going to clear me out so to speak. I did get a big clot appear this morning, which may have been the culprit for the residual hcg - who knows.

I am pleased because I'm going on a hen weekend next week and it means I can now drink :) (I don't drink at all when ttc normally, except for the week of af).

inside I'm sorry youre down :(. If tracking makes you feel more in control then go ahead and track. I do and I make no secret of it. This lot wouldn't dare chuck me off for cuntraband use! :D

johnny you'll need to see when af/positive happens to know if the b complex has worked - that seems awfully early for it to have worked, although it is magic stuff. But if it has then brilliant!! What it does is to bring your icing day forward, but your cycle should stay same length, so you'd then have a longer lp. So in short no it doesnt' matter which day you iced, as long as lp is of a good length. I wouldn't take the app as gospel - definitely keep shagging!

sofie what sticks are you using? Is it worth getting a frer? Have a fun holiday!

Another one here with a dh who works funny shifts. I always ice on a Friday which is a total PITA because dh works from Friday lunch time through to Sunday. So I have to run home from work on a Friday lunch time at icing time to shag!!!! (hope no one from work is reading this and identifies me ever)

Yes to the ewcm / swimmers responses. If it soaks into tissue it's semen, if it doesn't then it's ewcm.

Backing up what country says - you can have multiple lh surges and also multiple batches of ewcm in a cycle. Keep shagging!

pretzel start shagging eod at the start of the fertile period. I then always do it on day of icing too and day after, just to make sure. If eod falls on icing day then that's a done deal. Don't bother shagging two days after, as egg doesn't last that long.

Enjoy your holiday Sofie. I'm glad I'm not the only one who struggles to tell what fluid is what

Thanks choo. I think the breastfeeding is stopping me getting ewcm maybe

Pressed send too soon. Sorry for AF choo and here's to starting over

Congrats nova gx for a sticky one!
I tried tracking for a while but never felt like I ever got a true solid positive even though my day 21 bloods indicated ovulation I did get a solid smiley for two days once but was on a Clomid cycle so who knows!!

Quick q for any experienced B complex peeps - do you take it right through your cycle? Ie there is an infinitisemal chance I am pg so should I stop till AF or keep taking it?

Choo boo for AF but I think your rationale is wise. Plus I think sometimes our bodies just need a bit of recovery time.

I know what you mean about the b complex "working" surprisigly early but FF is quite definite I ov on cd14 which has never happened before so let's hope! Also I think I am very sensitive to hormones - I had a bfp with a fast strong line at 10dpo with DD, dreadful morning sickness and a v fast birth. So could be.... but I'll admit I was surprised!

I've always stopped taking it once I realise I'm pregnant. B6 is actually recommended for regulating cycles and midwife told me its fine during pregnancy. I don't know that for certain though so I would stop taking it when you get positive. It's not going to cause harm in first couple of weeks don't worry.

Article on b complex vitamins and pregnancy: www.livestrong.com/article/84180-bcomplex-vitamins-pregnancy/

B6 is recommended for morning sickness in pregnancy.

Here it says it's not recommended to take b complex in pregnancy, because a prenatal vitamin contains all the b vitamins you require for a healthy pregnancy.

natural-fertility-info.com/supplements-during-pregnancy.html

Hmm interesting! Thanks. As long as it won't hurt any potential bean.

Not that there is one, sigh....!

If you're concerned speak to your GP and ask to put your mind at rest. I've mentioned it to doctor's, midwives, nurses etc and no one's ever been concerned. They just said to stop taking when pregnant as it's not needed.

Has anyone been prescribed progesterone? I'm taking it for the first time this cycle and so far I've had two breakthrough bleeds and pre af symptoms like when I was a teenager including really bad acne!

Good on ya Choo for being so positive, I know that's not always easy. And enjoy the Hen!!!

Yeah I may have been a bit hasty. Af looked like it was here and I was ok with that, and got on with my day. But it stopped.

Temp has dropped so I'm SURE I'm not pregnant, plus I don't feel pregnant. We will have to see if it starts again today. Might just be adjusting after mc.

It looks like it's starting up again. Hopefully it'll make its mind up today!

What a bugger choo that happens to me quite a lot so i feel your frustration.

Rubbish choo but good mindset re fresh start.

Got dark line on frer this morning. DH being lovely and understanding of my apprehension. Going to wait a few weeks before I self-refer and I need to register at a new GP practice. During my mmc the practice manager told me "you're actually one street out of our catchment so the health visitor wouldn't have come to your house anyway. You'll need to change GP". Could've slapped her

Been helping OH's Mum move house for the last 2 days, forgot how much effort goes in to a move! OH found a load of 20 year old computer cables and showed me each one individually and explained their uses. Fascinating stuff (joking I wanted to die).

I swapped to the Ovia app and apparently I'm starting to go into my fertile period - I'm 2.0! OH so far sticking to his "twice a day" threat apart from when I told him to fuck off last night - heavy lifting I have discovered is not the best aphrodisiac. Feeling weirdly sad about this ttc thing today - think it's hitting me that it's probably going to take a while and even if I do fall pg I could mc again... Blah.

Unmumsnetty hugs, snooze, that makes total sense to me. It can be bloody sad at times.

Twotting here, nowt to report. Had thrush and I'm a bit worried the medication I took will stop anything happening anyway, it said not to take if ttc.

Pretzel ring the pharmacy or pop in today, they can tell you. Normally it's something they put on the label only because the ethics of testing on pregnant women prevents them knowing for sure, so it's precautionary.

Nova that's brilliant. In keeping all my gx

Snooze you sound very sad. Sending a hug. Keep talking to us.

Ok so I'm very confused. I'm getting spotting, then a few wipes of actual blood, then spotting. I poas to see what was happening out of curiosity and I can see a faint line . I don't think I can be pregnant. There is too much blood and it's red. I might need to call EPU.

But I've got big meeting in London today then a busy week.

Headfuck :(

Hooray! Af seems to have started in force. No way is this a pregnancy. I'll have to take a test after this finishes and take it from there. Hopefully this will fix me.

Drinking ALL the wine this weekend!

Argh choo that is a headfuck, I'm sorry. I hope all the wtf cycle weirdness is over now.
I asked a doctor (chat) and she said it would be fine as a one off.

choo