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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC - First Time! (2)

987 replies

mrsjkerry · 23/02/2017 19:26

Hi all. Reconvene here!

OP posts:
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21
ttcnovice · 06/05/2017 09:03

I did end up testing, and it was a BFN. So that's me out this month, yet again! Feeling quite angry to be honest, it just feels so unfair when people who aren't even trying can get pregnant by accident. I feel like it's never going to happen for us, and the thought of that is just truly awful Sad.

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 09:10

Just test ttc lol I defo would, hubby or not 😂

pibbee bless you, it's horrible trying to work everything out but don't write off May yet, it only takes one little swimmer!

flat my periods are really short. Before I went on the pill yrs ago, they used to be long and heavy, a whole week! The pill changed my flow completely to 3 days, very light. I'd literally use 1 regular tampon a day, and just a carefree pantyliner in the night! One box of tampons would last me years lol. Since coming off the pill, they've been VERY heavy for day 1, day 2 has either been heavy or much lighter, I'm lucky if I even spot by day 3! Very short! But much more painful and everything 😖

Speaking of period, girlies.... AF has arrived for me this morning. I've never come on on a Saturday in my life lol my cycle has all changed now since the mc 😳 it's not flooding or overly painful so that's good but I wonder how long it will last... and as soon as it's finished, I can properly get back to business!!

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 09:11

Oh shit ttc sorry chick I was writing my message as you posted 🙈xx

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 09:16

It IS horrible and I know what you mean about getting angry, I'm BORED more than anything, bored of hearing how other people have come off the pill, winked at their partner and surprise, pregnant! Wow wee, like isn't that just amazing, pat on the back like somehow it's some skill to catch immediately... it's not a skill, they are not better than us or more fertile than us or more womanly or anything. They just didn't think about it and caught at the right time 😂 so don't feel bad for feeling anything, it is frustrating.
All I would say is don't think the worst. Has anyone on here heard of the law of attraction??xx

ttcnovice · 06/05/2017 09:32

Misty I'm totally with you on the boredom of it all. Not just of hearing about others being successful straight away (which seems to be happening every other day at the moment Envy), but also of the TTC process itself! I'm bored of OPK's, bored of DTD to a schedule rather than just because we want to, and mostly bored of testing to see a glaring white BFN! Your positive attitude is amazing though with everything you've just been through, so I'm definitely going to try to channel you! Just maybe not until tomorrow so I can have today moping Grin.

I've heard of the law of attraction, but not too sure on what it is? Does that make me really dopey Blush.

Flatwhite31 · 06/05/2017 10:27

Hello lovely ladies! So sorry @ttcnovice. I felt like you earlier in the week. It doesn't help either when social media is full of babies and pregnancy announcements.

@MistyBxx, thank you for your reassuring words. When I was a teen before I went on the pill at 19, my periods were abnormally long (ten days!) so a 2 day period was worrying me. I'm my own worst enemy going on Google!

I'm feeling a bit better today. DH away on a footie trip with his friends this weekend, so I'm having ten girlfriends over tonight for prosecco and nibbles! Have a nice weekend everyone. Xx

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 10:39

No babe you're like most people lol in fact, I am worried about mentioning it coz I'm scared I will sound a bit kooky and mad 😂 but the way I see it, we are driving ourselves mad with this process anyway so I think we need to have an open mind. I'm putting myself at risk of total ridicule here but sod it!

Basically, I shall try and keep this as short as I can... we know from school and science, everything in the world is made of energy, atoms and waves. We are all atoms and we have our own energy and the most powerful energy we have is our minds. There's laws of gravity, laws of the poles (magnets etc) but hardly anyone knows about the law of attraction. It's just a case of controlling our own minds and harnessing its energy focusing it in the right direction.
Our minds are made from little bits of electric energy which attracts stuff to us like magnets, good or bad, it doesn't matter, it's energy. You know the saying "money goes to money" it's true! People who have money think positively about money so they attract more money into their lives. And the opposite is the same, we all know someone that's always ill, they tell themselves "oh I've got plans Saturday, I'm probably gonna be ill," and guess what, they get ill! Or you're running late for work and you say in your head "oh god I hope I don't get stuck in traffic" and guess what, roadworks everywhere. These are just tiny examples.

Basically, we need to keep a check of our self-talk and our mindset coz everything we think and most importantly FEEL has a frequency! Whether it's good or bad, we are giving that frequency out and attracting it like a magnet! It's hard but we have to keep focusing on the end result, being pg and having a healthy baby 💕 really FEEL it, put yourself there in your mind's eye and really feel that joy and happiness inside how you'd feel seeing that bfp and it WILL happen! But the more we focus on what we don't want (which is natural for most people, everyone thinks I don't want AF to come, I don't want to see that bfn) but that's what we talk about every day, that's what we give our attention and emotion to, that's what we are giving out, and that's what we are attracting.

Mindset is so important and I really hope you all don't think I'm bonkers lol I just figure where we are now, I don't think there's anything wrong with looking outside the box and focusing on the positive thoughts and feelings!! If anyone honestly thinks this is total bollocks, I won't be surprised lol I won't be offended and I won't think anyone is stupid for not believing it 😂

But if you've got some spare time, I would definitely recommend watching this film on YouTube. It's called The Secret. It's very weird lol I laughed when I first watched it but I've seen it about 10 times now and I keep it saved on my playlist coz I tell you what, when I'm feeling down and like the world is on top of me, I take myself off and watch it start to finish and it reminds me to just try and keep my thoughts and feelings on the right side- positive!!
And even if you don't believe in any of it and think it's all total bull, the worst thing that will happen is you at least try and feel a little more positive inside and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that is there 😊

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 10:45

flatwhite yeah dr google is awful! I went through that thinking omg my periods are more like a couple of days now but do you know what, they've been regular and I'm still having them so I'm not adding how long they are to my list of worries lol it's hard enough controlling my emotions and thoughts as it is so if there's one less thing to worry about, let it go lol.
Your evening sounds lush! I was planning on going over my friend's house and having some fizz in her hot tub but af is in full force so may be fizz on the couch instead. Not as glam as a lazy-spa but it will do lol. Xx

ttcnovice · 06/05/2017 11:18

Thanks flat Flowers hope you enjoy your night tonight, prosecco and nibbles sounds perfect!

Misty thanks so much for explaining in so much detail! You don't sound crazy at all, it does genuinely seem to make sense. DH is always saying to me if I think negatively about things then only negative things will happen, so I guess that's the same way of looking at it. I love the idea of taking things into our own hands (or minds!) too, so far the TTC process has just seemed so out of my control, and as a control freak in every other area of life that's been the hardest part I think! As you said at this stage what have we got to lose - we've only got something amazing to gain, so it definitely is worth a try. I'll have to give that video a watch once I've got over the "I'm rubbish at being a woman" stage Blush. I'll come back here on Monday telling you just how amazing a woman I really am Grin xxx

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 11:50

I'm so glad you don't think I'm nuts 😂😂😂 it does sound a bit weird when you proper look into it but your dh is spot on, everyone says it all the time, but nobody notices it coz it's called different things... you've probably thought about it yourself when you talk about something and then say "oh god don't jinx it" or "Sod's law that happened" it's not Sod's law, it's a different law! Like have you ever thought of an old friend you haven't seen for ages and spend a couple of mins fondly remembering chats you had and times you were with them then out of nowhere they friend request you on fb or text you for the first time in months and you think "what a coincidence"... it's not a coincidence! It can literally happen on that small a scale!
So defo give it some thought chick and please be kind to yourself this weekend. You ARE an amazing woman, you're built to make a baby and if you're strong and in control of everything else in your life you can definitely control your mindset! Don't fool yourself into thinking you have zero control over this process, we can't physically control conception itself of course... well, I don't want to say we can because obviously some people physically can't due to circumstances biologically, but have to believe we can definitely control how we feel about it and react to our bad days.
Have a lovely weekend everyone and if anyone has any questions about any of the law of attraction stuff, please ask me. I don't want to seem like a witch or a crazy hippy lol but there's got to be something in it 😍xx

Forevertimes · 06/05/2017 12:15

Morning all :)

So sorry to hear about the bfns. Keep staying positive ladies! You never know when it will happen!

I'm back from my staycation and peed off with ovia! It's changed my fw! So now I'm all confused.

How can I be CD 21 (usually 32 day cycles) and not ovulated yet? I'm not using opks so it's all pretty much guesswork, but I thought I would ovulate 14 days before AF.

Just keeping on DTD in case haha

MistyBxx · 06/05/2017 12:33

Hey forevertimes ovia changes my fw too. I think it edits itself as you submit info. Like if your cycles are irregular, it takes all the info from all of the cycles you've added and balances the average length. When I started proper ttc in November, I went back a year on both ovia and clue to give them as much info as possible so they could balance everything with as much detail and accuracy as possible but then when you have an abnormal one, it can change it by days or even a week!! These apps are totally not an exact science but then neither are opks lol so dtd whenever is defo the best 😂

Mayesdanni25 · 06/05/2017 14:03

Hi Pibbee

Thank you for replying, my cycles use to be "normal" it's only been the last few months they seem to have changed and got longer for some reason, I'm still doing the opk have had my 5th day of flashing smileys I'm ready to throw it out the window now lol.
Sorry to hear your af arrived

Twistedsister7 · 07/05/2017 17:13

Sorry to everyone who got AF!! Anyone still waiting?!

charl19 · 07/05/2017 17:25

Nope I got af today too😒 sorry have been awol for a while!!

Me and DH have been a bit up and down with whether we should wait a bit longer to try.. I got a permanent job in April where I was already, but this contract says that I have to be there a year to get any sort of maternity pay other than SMP. We've decided to hold off until august/September which isn't really too far away but am quite gutted as we are so keen for a family!! Keep going really up and down! We only decided last week so we had been dtd (not very much this time) so bit gutted yesterday had bfn and af showed up today😕 in the pub having a pint now!! Haha!!

Hope everyone else ok?

Hope you don't mind if I still stick around xx

Twistedsister7 · 07/05/2017 18:12

Charl it sounds like a good idea but I can understand why you feel gutted! DH and I have agreed to cut back the pressure a little. I'm focusing on getting in the gym and doing 2 classes a week. Hoping it will stop me obsessing over ttc & help the process along!!

littleemma1 · 07/05/2017 20:45

Sorry to all who were caught by AF, she's such a b*tch at times! 😤😠

So much to consider, it can all be so daunting!!
Although the prognosis from the doctor wasn't great and we thought we would want to try straight away we've decided to wait until end of this / early next year once we're close to a wedding or already married (although I'm still waiting for the question to be asked but he went shopping whilst I was at work yesterday and is being really sheepish about it so I think he may have bought the ring!! 😬) and we've also decided on a small intimate ceremony and just a big informal CHEAP (that's the main thing!) party somewhere to celebrate with extended family and friends 😊
So in the mean time I'm going to throw myself into work and overtime to earn some extra money for everything (why does everything have to cost so much?!)
I would like to stay on this thread though as you're all a lovely bunch of ladies! Will pop in and out when I can xxx

ttcnovice · 08/05/2017 09:14

Morning everyone Smile

My AF still isn't here, so unless my luteal phase has lengthened by two days (which according to Google this isn't possible?) then I didn't ovulate when I thought. Not getting my hopes up again as I was so down on Saturday after getting a BFN, but if AF doesn't show up by tomorrow I'll test again. If I did ovulate later than I thought then it may have been too early for anything to show up on Saturday - fx but I'm being relaxed about it mixed in with a little bit of Misty's law of attraction positivity Smile. Will keep you all updated Smile.

charl sorry AF got you Flowers it sounds like you're making the right decision for yourselves, but I bet it was such a hard one to make! August/September will be here before you know it though! Please do stick around anyway, we can count down the months until you're trying again Smile x

emma that's exciting about your engagement/wedding plans! Keep us updated when your DP does pop the question! Like for charl I'm sure these next few months will fly by and then you'll be back to trying!

Twisted I'm going to take a similar approach to you next cycle, focus on being healthier and shifting some pounds, plus I'm stepping away from the OPKs! I'm hoping that will lessen the stress and keep me positive! Here's hoping Smile

Pibbee · 08/05/2017 12:34

Hello all!

@ttcnovice apparently LP can vary. Mine does - seems to be between 10 and 14 days. When was/is AF due?

@emma and @charl yes please do stick around! Me and DP have done very little (i.e. zero) wedding planning so far. We only want a small one too. If he could get married next weekend he would, which is very sweet but I do want some sort of celebration with family and friends - and that takes organising! Also, if I were to end up pg then that would impact things too, so we are kind of in limbo to a certain extent, held back by a currently non-existent baby! Ha!

@Twisted I want to start going to gym classes too. I used to all the time at my old gym but joined a new one end of last year and have The Fear of going to classes there for NO apparent reason...I go and just do my own thing but really need to go to some classes too, to mix it up a bit....

As for me, my AF has disappeared - I tend to have random spotting a few days before it rocks up, and that's what's happening this time. So I don't think my new cycle has started yet, as CD1 is the first day of proper AF apparently. So I am currently on CD28.

charl19 · 08/05/2017 13:19

Aw thanks guys- defo will be sticking around!!! Love this thread is so friendly.. been awol for ages but still reading!!

Ooo fingers crossed emma! You'll have to let us know, that sounds exciting for you!!

Pibbee could that be a pg sign the spotting or is that just a common thing for you? Fx otherwise!!

Thanks ttc and twisted xxx

Where is everyone else at in their cycles? So hard to keep up! Xx

Pibbee · 08/05/2017 13:31

@charl no this is pretty normal for me. If not I'd be getting excited about it but yeah I tend to have random spotting a few days before AF. In fact, recently I have had a couple of cycles with no spotting, which is unusual for me! They have been the random 25/26 day cycles whereas I always used to be bang on 28 days...

Pibbee · 08/05/2017 14:40

Also - might be just me but does anyone else get cycle days mixed up with days of the month!? For example, I usually ovulate around cd15 and I was just pondering my June dates (as think am out for May due to being away) and was thinking I would ovulate around June 15th which is totally wrong! Ha

MistyBxx · 08/05/2017 17:58

Hey girlies, I'm gonna try and reply but we are all such chatterboxes this thread flies 😂

pibbee and emma I am wedding obsessed lol 😂 please keep us posted on your wedding planning! I'm a wedding blogger too, so if you have any questions about that, I'm here! I got married September last year and it was the best day of my life! I still look at pics and videos and cry 😭
I absolutely did NOT want to be pg before my wedding 😂 mostly coz I wanted to party with plenty of champers lol but also coz I wanted to enjoy the day and not be worrying about a baby running around or crying! Maybe selfish, but hey, it's your wedding, let it allllll be about you! Plus believe me, as it gets closer, emotions will definitely get the better of you! Pregnancy on top of that... I dread to think. Mind you, I was a bridezilla with only perfection on my mind, poor hubby still says our wedding was more about the wedding than our marriage. And he's not wrong 🙈 I wanted the whole shebang, limos, sparkle, a massive dress... it was like a fairytale! I'm publishing a new wedding blog soon (I said this months ago but it's nearly done!) so I will send you the link on here to check it out. Although my anonymity will be gone so I'm a bit scared haha you girls know more about my vaginal action than most people lol.

I'm on cd3 and period is easing off. As the first post mc af I thought it would be worse but it's not. I just hope my cycle settles properly as I was so regular before. But tbh I want to be pg before next af so I'd be happy not to have another one! But we shall see!

Hope you're all feeling better and a little more positive. Those who are chilling out on the whole ttc obsession... I get it! I was totally gonna go for the no opk for me this month approach! BUT I just want to try them for this month coz I want to see if I'm defo ovulating again after what's happened. Thats my excuse haha I just love peeing on sticks lol. Gonna start from cd10 and see how it goes 😳

Feeling hopeful for us all xx

littleemma1 · 08/05/2017 18:06

I will most definitely be sticking around here, everyone is so great!
And I'll certainly keep you all updated for when he does pop that all important question!! 😬
@pibbee that's one of the reasons we're holding off as I don't want to book a wedding the find out I'll be 9m PG, waffling down the aisle ready to pop 🙈😂 as @misty said I want to celebrate properly (and selfishly!)
Plus we want to have a stack of savings behind us so that I can take as much time off as possible 😊
@ttc yes luteal phases can vary so don't worry!

littleemma1 · 08/05/2017 18:07

**waddling down the aisle! I hate autocorrect 😤😠

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