TTC - First Time! (2)

[mrsjkerry]

Hi all. Reconvene here!

Thanks pibbee I'm just conscious of how I might be upsetting others who are looking forward to a bfp without having to worry about anything else you know 🙈 I'm so glad you're feeling more positive chick, ttc is such an emotional rollercoaster and it can totally make you feel crazy.xx

Wow there are a lot of things I don't understand on here! What's DTD? Sorry I'm completely new here 😬

So sorry to those who are going through our worst nightmares at the moment. this seems like a really great place for support, so many lovely people on here.

I'm due my period (from reading back I think this is AF!) on 8th March and I'm already worrying because I don't have any pregnancy symptoms. I'm such an anxious person that I already feel like I'm never going to get pregnant. I wish I was positive and ligh hearted about it but honestly I am on my first real month of trying and just really worry it's never going to happen. Is anyone else feeling like this? Feel really pessimistic but I'm just such a worrier and anxious person anyway so this is making me 100 times worse!

Mama dtd means doing the deed so sex to be blunt. I think ttc bring out the anxiety in even usually laid back people. It's incredibly stressful & so much info to be aware of.

Misty we are all worried for you so please go ahead and be honest, that is the nature of this wonderful thread. We're all thinking of you.

Misty I echo what twisted said - don't feel you need to hold back, if it helps to get it all out here then please do so! We're here for the good, the bad and everything in between on this thread . Best of luck for tomorrow, we'll all be thinking of you!

Mistyb thinking of you today, fingers very tightly crossed xx

Thinking of you misty

Thinking of you today @MistyBxx. Got everything crossed for you xx

Thank you girls so much. It means such a lot to me. So I'm all done now. Absolutely nothing else I can do except wait for the phone call. She said it was so busy that I'm not expecting it til after 2pm. So til then, it's just a case of sit and wait. Bless you all for your kind words. Will pop back on later after my call. Hope you're all feeling ok today 🌺

Everything crossed misty xxx

Hey girlies. So the lady rang me back this afternoon to let me know that the hcg levels in my blood went from 3786 to 4179 in 48hrs. Although this is a rise, she said it's not significant enough a rise to be considered a viable pregnancy... it's meant to double. yet she can't rule that out completely because she said the hormones are just a guideline really and she said that people have had low rising hcg and a scan has gone on to show a healthy foetus and they've had a successful pregnancy. She also says that people whose hcg has risen perfectly at this time have found their pregnancy to have failed at the next scan... so she just couldn't be definitive either way.
She said that usually such a small rise over the 2 days would make her concerned for an ectopic pregnancy (which again she also hasn't ruled out) but she noted how clear my ovaries were and the lack of lumps, bumps or loose fluid on my scan from Tuesday and said that was a positive sign. I did mention I've had really bad crampy pains for a couple of days and again she just said she doesn't know for certain going from the blood hormone levels. Incidentally I've had little pains at all today and just tiny bits of brown spotting.
The bottom line is they've made another scan apt for me at 9:00am Tuesday.
I asked her do I have any hope at all and she said that's a hard question because she doesn't want to pretend the chances are high of a successful scan and a healthy foetus because it's really not, ordinarily at these levels, the pregnancy could well still be failing.... but she just can't be 100% so said a "little bit" of hope and positivity is a good thing but don't "expect" a happy ending.
This next scan will be a week after the first one I had with them, and 12 days after the very first one I had privately. Surely this has to be the one where I get a definite answer one way or the other 😖 I've already had 2 scans showing empty sacs, so that in itself is not a good sign and she said that means that whatever the outcome, there's no way I'm anywhere near as far along as I thought I am, and that's just looking at the previous scans.
I've tried googling hcg levels to see if the numbers even correspond to anything I can understand but there seems to be so much differing info on them online that basically I don't know what I'm looking for.
So yeah. Another day in limbo and another 5 day wait. Sorry for the long post again, I promise I will stop ranting soon 🙈 xxx

Misty it must be so awful being in limbo like that! I don't understand how you can be nowhere near as far along as you thought....Does that mean you ovulated way later than you thought? Fingers crossed for you. Please try and stay away from Dr Google you will only wind yourself up! You are being looked after by the experts now. I hope it works out I really do

Oh Misty I'm so sorry you are stuck in limbo like this. I know you have to be realistic but also keep a spark of hope because there is a chance still. My sister had a very rough start to her pregnancy with similar scares & my niece is now a bright bubbly 4 year old. I don't want to get your hopes up but also please don't be hope-less if that makes sense. Thinking of you xx

In other news, me and DP have dtd a grand total of ZERO times this fw. Sod it i can't even be arsed getting wound up about that! Am almost slightly gonna miss the 2ww even though it sends me crazy.....Does that sound weird!? So yeah just gonna get cracking next time. We are gonna be away for what I think will be some of fw so that should assist in that regard!

How's everyone else doing ? Anyone testing soon ?

@Misty I'm so sorry you're still in limbo. I agree with the pibbee, stay away from Dr Google he will only confuse you. Please don't loose all hope, still be realistic but remember miracles do happen. And don't worry about venting, we are all here for you so vent all you need xxx

@Pibbee I get what you mean about missing the 2ww, what will you do when you can't symptom spot?! it's good you guys are going away, that always helps with getting in the mood.

As for me, last night I started getting cramps like AF but still nothing. Had a heart to heart with DH as he wants me to test tomorrow (CD28) but I don't know if I have the courage to do it. Those bfns truly break my heart, even though I know it's the way it's meant to be and I accept it, it still hurts. Past 2 days I have been having strange pains in my pelvic area and it feels tender, reminds me of what it feels like after surgery or after I had ruptured cysts. Not painful exactly, just really tender on the inside. I tried to push it to see if it hurts and it doesn't really. The surface hurts if that makes sense. Like the muscular (more like fat) tissue hurts. Appetite has gone through the roof but that always happens when AF comes so I can't really say it's a symptom.

What cycle are you on Jelly? I haven't done any tests yet as I'd rather just wait and see if AF happens! I find that easier than I think I would a BFN. Actually I tell a lie I just remembered I did one NYE, not sure why as we weren't even TTC then, I just wanted to make extra sure as I had drinking plans NYE!

Thank you girlies... I really do appreciate it. I'm trying so hard not to Google and search for answers when the only answers are gonna be in Tuesdays scan.
On a different note jellybean I can't help but say your symptoms are sounding positive. One of my main symptoms was the feeling of af but I couldn't describe it as cramps as such but as a tiny muscular feeling in my very low pelvis... it's hard to describe, like I'd notice it when lying on my tummy in bed reading and then turning over to go to sleep I'd be like ooooh I can feel it. Same as when I'd be sat at my desk, then stand up, I'd notice it. I would definitely say hold off on testing though chick, I can't stress that enough 🙈 but I know how hard that is xx

@JellyBean89 why don't you wait until AF is definitely a few days late?

@Pibbee I don't know how long my cycle is right now. Used to be 28days before BC, then while on BC it was 17-20 days. No idea when I'm due.
@MistyBxx I can definitely feel it more when I'm laying down and in the evenings after work, but I do sit at a desk from 9-6 so maybe that's why I only notice it in the evening. I agree with both you and @mrsjkerry, I don't want to test yet.

GP said to test 4 weeks from my iud removal date (today is 4weeks) but that's because I'm supposed to go back in and get blood tests done if I don't feel better and not pregnant, I don't think I will go back yet as I stopped throwing up and to me that's an improvement. I know DH wants me to test because he gets worried, I have endometriosis and chronic pelvic pain + had 2 ruptured cysts in the last year, so he wants to make sure that regardless of the test result if there is something wrong I don't leave it too late. I have no idea when AF is due either so I can't even tell if she's late or on time lol. I think I will just wait and see if she turns up next week.

@mrsjkerry how are you doing?

Misty - so sorry to hear of your plight. I have everything crossed for you.x

Have ordered the clearblue dual thingy which has kindly been suggested to me by people here. Plus pre-seed. Though we might not be able to get cracking yet as our house may be falling through - we will know more today. DP doesn't want to start trying until we know we are sorted with house because I don't cope well with stress after being in a very stressful job (hair loss, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, IBS, acid reflux, serious depression) for years (which I quit at start of Jan 2016). I understand where he's coming from but we haven't the luxury of time as I turn 39 in September and though my health is better than it was, am not in best of health.

Excited to start trying but also don't want to treat it too much like a project as think DP will get annoyed, so I guess I'll quietly keep the project part to myself and just let him think he's irresistible!!!!

We've agreed if we can't have kids we will get dogs. Though I know DP definitely wants them (as do I) and will be a great dad, given his nature generally and the way he is with his niece and nephew (who we are looking after tomorrow morning for practice!!). Scared if we can't have them he might leave. He says he won't but it's always at the back of my mind. He's 5 years younger than me and his mum is constantly on at us to have kids.

Yeh wait and see if it turns up but do test if your cycle goes on longer than 32 days I suppose!

I'm fine. Poorly with morning sickness though I was actually admitted to hospital with HG 😩 I thought you were supposed to "glow" 😄

Misty I'm sorry you're still having to wait for answers . Can you do something nice over the weekend to distract yourself a bit? Keeping everything crossed for you that the little bit of hope turns into great news xxx

@coastalchick wow it sounds like you have been through a lot! In my experience it's definitely a good idea to try and keep most of the project/crazy side of TTC away from DP. Mine seems to love talking about it but then when it comes to getting down to it, if he knows it's a baby making day he kind of ends up under pressure and it doesn't work out! So I'm not telling him anything from now on. Tbh the stupid opk sticks make me go crazy anyway, and sooooo stressed out. None of which is ideal circumstances! So I might from now on just keep a vague idea of when's the best days and just see what we can do.

Me and DP actually DID manage to DTD this morning, totally out of the fertile window (I think....I had the solid smiley on Tues morning so would have ovulated by Thursday max I think. So actually I guess there is a really small chance the egg could still have been alive this morning!? What do you think??) But sod it as had written this cycle off anyway. Onto cycle 4!

Hi ladies!

Misty, so sorry you have to do more waiting. I find waiting worse than actually knowing what's going on. I guess it's fear of the unknown. Hope you're holding up ok.

Nice to see you mrsjkerry! Sorry to hear you have had a hospital admission for HG. Are you on Easter break now? We have one week left. Going on a residential trip on Mon! Hoping AF holds off until we're back mid week, as I can't bear the thought of a horrible AF when away with 61 kids!

Hi coastalchick! Good luck getting started. I'm in a very stressful job, but have very supportive colleagues thankfully. Glad you health is better than it was.

Jellybean - hope you're ok. Still getting symptoms?

I'm better from the UTI, but can't get my body temp below 37.5, even with paracetamol. Strange! I don't feel too horrendous though.

I am on Easter break! Got two and a half weeks now. Although I haven't been in school this week other than Monday due to the hospital...felt very strange have never taken any time off at all really 😬