First time TTC - thread 6

[bassetmum]

Well thats another thread full of our comings and goings.

My details again
29
Cycle 6
Cd25

Sorry to read about all the AF's and so sorry to hear that Loxy, hope you really are ok 💐

Hope you've all got some lovely weekend plans!!

blissful have you been taking anything new, vitamins etc? Pregnacare made my cycles go from 30 days to 34.
pjs wow what an incredible, derailed price list! It's like going in to a restaurant and that being the menu! Good that you know an estimate up front though.

I have a confession to make... I've been symptom spotting all day (face in palms). I have been eating everything in sight, boobs are a little sore and I had pulling above my groin area... of course I'm convinced I'm pg and I've set myself up for a huge fall!!! Why do I do it to myself. (7dpo on cycle 11 and have officially lost it). Sperm analysis results and my cd21 bloods tomorrow.

She's here. I'm on a night hence the silly early post. Nothing different Eva I've been taking normal folic acid for the last few months.

Welcome cycle 9. Must remember to temp.

Eva I have been symptom spotting like a mad woman. 11dpo cycle 7 if it helps you though. All I keep thinking is how nice it would be to tell my mum on mothers day.

I'm sorry bliss.

Just realised it might help to list my symptoms

Spots, strange cramps 7dpo, mild cramps today, sore left boob with occasional shooting pain in right one, gassy, bloated, lots of toilet trips for both of the actions, exhausted, dizziness, feeling of body shaking and sometimes nausea. God I sound like a mad one.

Thats a really detailed list pjs.

Ugh rubbish, sorry bliss
bassett that symptoms list sounds good!!

Doctor wasn't in today so sperm results are in but haven't been checked so will be next week now. Had my cd21 bloods and also managed to convince the nurse to test my thyroid too - GP visits are definitely improving!

Af is due sometime next week (days are abit tipsy turvy due to shorter month in Feb!) but I'm trying hard to not symptom spot. Exhausted as anything, possibly more gassy, and I've been having random flashes of boob soreness. I have never ever had sore boobs! < so this one is really intriguing!

Sorry everyone I haven't been around much. In a very bad place - I posted about it on the other thread I'm on: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2854045-Thread-26-TTC-1-Calm-as-a-hysterical-cucumber

I'm still in shock and I feel sick to my stomach.

Wow pjs I'm in shock too.
I reiterate everything the ladies on that thread have said - you haven't done anything wrong. You went overboard on a night out, so what, hardly crime of the century! Maybe with him quitting booze he's not relaxing easily and it's built up frustration from TTC, just like we get I guess? He owes you a massive apology and has some serious grovelling to do. He has blown it all out of proportion and hopefully in the cold light of day it will dawn on him how out of order he has been.
Maybe head to a coffee shop with a magazine or out for a walk if you feel like clearing your head. Hope you get it sorted asap

Thank you Eva

I feel terrible and still quite shaken. I'm going to get up and get ready soon so I at least look like less of a mess when we talk.

I'll go out for a bit if he's the same. I really feel quite nauseous.

Oh my pjs. What an awful thing for him to do!! I agree totally with what everyone else has said. He owes you big time!!! Have a few drinks to unwind is not a bad thing. I had a friend who went on a fortnight 18-30s holiday and found out the week after she was 6 months pregnant. Her little boy was perfect. Maybe hes just got so stressed about ttc that he just exploded last night. At least you managed to get some sleep.

I think you're right basset about him being stressed. He tends to bottle things up. He needs to know that the way he treated me last night was not OK (bordering on abusive). He was cruel. I know I'm not perfect and I want to fix this so I'm prepared to hear a few home truths.

I've had a shower, I'm dressed, and make up is on (feel less vulnerable when I'm not in my pyjamas). I must remain calm.

It definitely sounds like you are handling this well, well as good as you can do. I think its good you want to talk things through.

Well I caved this morning and did a frer at 12dpo absolutely stark white bfn.

Oh pjs I'm so sorry this happened.

Something sort of similar happened to me over Christmas, DH got out of control angry at his sister over something trivial. He's never like that in the 5 years weve been together. In the end I said I was very worried about him and that I loved him and want to help him. We made a gp appt for him and he had CBT and has a low dose antidepressant. Since then he's improved loads and our lines of communication have improved. We both got super stressed but didn't allow each other to vent properly and he bottled it up.

It sounds like you're both having a shitty time. I agree that he should apologise but maybe it might be worth making him know how much you care and want to hear him. Take his perspective but also calmly let him know that you're frightened and that's not ok. You both need to do better and you can do it as a team. Hopefully he can understand that having a drink now and then is not the worlds biggest crime.

I really hope things get fixed for you, I honestly had such a fright with my DH but now we are closer than ever because of it.

I'm so sorry you're in pain please feel better and know we are all here 💐💐

Basset sorry about the negative but you know what they say ....

I've already messed up temping and forgotten to do it. Damn night shifts messing up my life.

Oh PJs. I'm so sorry this has happened and know how sad and scared you will be feeling. Your hubby has overreacted and I feel that there is something more to this than you going out and getting a bit wasted. Has he always been a bit funny about you drinking or is it just since TTC?
Try to take some time for you both to cool off, establish your feelings and then have a proper talk and get some things off your chest. You will feel better.
Sorry about the negative Basset but you do never know.
Bliss - I'm not temping this weekend as we are visiting friends (only CD7 so it doesn't really matter) and it's nice to just sleep!!
Keep talking PJs, we are all here for you.

He gave me his letter then went out to a friend's birthday, he's going to read mine later and we'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm genuinely bewildered by his - he's written it like a report and like it's for someone else instead of written to me e.g. "We went to a fertility clinic in November due to (my name)'s concerns about her age and the impact this might have on our chances to conceive a child" and "I would like (my name) to find professional help to understand what is behind her need to drink excessively. If (my name) gets help I will see that as a sign that she is serious about me and our marriage and I'll start wearing my wedding ring again." WTF. Mine was completely heartfelt and I poured my soul into it and I get a clinical account of my actions.

Oh my goodness pjs that's horrendous! How is he working at your marriage by behaving like that?? There are two people in a marriage and it takes work from both sides... I hope things go better when you ate able to talk face to face about it

Lord above pjs you are not a child in school or a file note!!! I cannot believe he would write his issues like that, I would have thought it was like a letter to the other person, as it seems you wrote yours. Does he feel that because he's given up alcohol you should too? Because that's really not how life works! He seems to have quite an obsession about you having drinks every now and again, maybe it's him that needs to speak to a professional about what his obsession with other people drinking is.

He should really be ashamed of how he spoke to you and treated you. It's not on and you do not deserve to be treated like that. I don't know how I would feel if my DH spoke to me like that. I'd be utterly disgusted and can completely understand why you feel so isolated. It's like you're sharing a house with a stranger.

All I can do is send big hugs and know we are here if we can ever help 💐💐💐

Lord I don't condone violence but I could clip him round the back of the head and call him an utter twat idiot for treating you like this.

Oh pjs. What has got into his head!?! I hope that once he has read your letter he has a better understanding how much of an utter twat tool he is!!! I think that with the wedding ring hissy fit he's just trying to rile you up further. I have to agree with everyone else that you need to keep your chin up and shown him you are the better person.

On my symptom front my left boob hurts sooo much. I had to sleep with my bra on last night plus i would normally have had my horrendous hormonal headache by now and it's nowhere to be seen. Need to stop symptom spotting!!!

Sorry guys - it's been a long and emotional day, full update here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2875185-Thread-27-TTC-1-were-stressed-were-fed-up-were-bitter-but-I-promise-this-will-all-be-worth-it-when-were-holding-our-precious-babies

All the thanks, 💐 and 😘 go to you as well, you've all been so amazing and I've been utterly bowled over by all your support. I would have very alone today.

Pleased to hear there has been a breakthrough PJs. You've had some really good advice on the other thread so I won't anything more but

Hugs pjs hope it goes well today.

Hi ladies

Sorry for being MIA this week! Had a complete sh1tstorm at with this week, worked SO many hours, even had to go in yesterday, unheard of in my NHS years

Will try & catch up...

Sorry for the BFN kiwi & bliss

Double fx for you basset & Eva, and good news about your GP tests too!!

Sorry AF got you flora, hope this cycle is the one for you

Pyjamas sorry AF got you, & so so sorry about your DH, so awful & he should be ashamed of how he's treated you, you probably already know this but you haven't done anything wrong, I think given the situation you're more than allowed to let your hair down & let off some steam! Your DH was out of order, hope you manage to sort things out this morning

Oddly hope AF makes an appearance for you kitty & the provera works!

So so sorry loxy hope you're doing as well as you can be, you sound very strong