SQUARE ONE TO GRADUATES! Over here! Let's go find those BFPS!

[MotherOfBeagles]

Hi ladies!

Sorry I didn't want to lose you all as at the in law weekend so thought I'd start a new one!

Roll over thread

Hey everyone,

I can see I've got some catching up to do but hope everyone is well and fingers crossed we see some bfps soon!

Jam so sorry to hear about your gran xx

I am currently on cycle day 14 - jet lag is a bit of a mood killer but have a lovely dh who when informed it was our window is obligingly cooperative with dtd! We are extending our window to cover past day 20 so we will see, although a little crampy which is a good sign that ovualtion is on its way.
Trying to stay more relaxed and not obsess over it this month.

Glad your monitor is playing nicely durez!

kate glad to hear you are feeling a bit more like yourself. If you think depression might have been a factor, whether linked to your thyroid or not, make sure that you talk to your gp. It sounds like you have a hell of a stressful job and going back is only going to make things worse so you need to be supported.

jam my friend was trying for two years and the week before she was going to get the meds to start ivf she got pregnant. She literally had to ring and cancel all the appointments and specialists. I swear to god, no lying. You're not out yet and it is horrible to keep pushing through but just got to keep your head up as much as you can and keep busy as much as you can and it'll happen.

Hi kiki hope jet lag doesn't kick in too badly! Lovely of your dh to still be obliging though

I am so tired it's stupid. I'm not sure if I'm having bouts of insomnia again or my sleep cycles just messed up from late nights. I was lying in bed until 5 am this morning and then physically couldn't drag my head up from the pillow before 12. Even now I'm foggy and fatigued and dizzy. It's not like I'm awake and want to stay in bed it's a physical effort to be up, it hurts. Ugh. With that also my temps are all over. I took my temp at 3am as I'd been lying in bed since 11 not moving and was going stir crazy and it was over my coverline by 0.3 and then when I woke up at 12 I had to dash out of bed to answer door for a parcel and let dogs out to pee then I peed and took it after all that and it was below my cover line by 0.05. So which do I record? So confused.

Great Bear stakeout is on in the background as I frantically try to do the work I was meant to do all Christmas (NO MOTIVATION to do it as all my goodwill is GONE!!). Literally bawled my eyes out when a baby bear was washed out to sea. AF should be here within about a day I reckon - classic pmt for me!

Ah Jam I can feel your pain. It's so soul destroying to go through the disappointment month after month. I have days where I feel very worried about it all, but my anxiety is more around my ability to maintain a pregnancy rather than the conception now. Just paranoia I think. This whole process makes you over analyse everything.
We just have to look at it as bad luck and try and think positively:
My friend has been in touch this morning to confirm her pregnancy! She even apologised, I felt terrible she felt the need to. This will be her third. DC1 took 2 months, DC2 took a year (trying at the right times etc), and this one wasn't even planned!
I'm trying to look at it like rolling a dice, they say you have a 25-30% chance each month right? So that's like expecting/hoping to roll a 5 or 6. Not really any great feat, but we've all been there during a board game where you just get unlucky and keep rolling 2's 3's 4's... whatever, you know what I mean. So really it's only like 12 rolls (assuming roll attempts were always made?! - sickness/absence) You will have one month where you don't do anything different, reasonable DTD, no symptoms, but it will just bloody happen! I'm sure there is no magic sequence or answer. I really do think it's just shitty luck x

I'm off to find a dice to see how many attempts it takes to roll a 5 or 6!!

Thanks so much beagles and tee.

I've just got to the point where I'm all out of hope. I wouldn't dream of testing there is no illusion now that AF won't come. It's just worn me down and I feel like I've finally accepted it won't happen.

It really does help hearing success stories after long term TTC though so thanks for sharing.

We got our appointment at the fertility hospital today - it's 2 March, so we've got something to work towards. I am considering paying for a hycosy privately, but we are in the middle of buying a house so it's not great timing financially.

footy I do still do my pottery! Love it.

Love the idea of knitting, that would be a lovely hobby and you can do it with your feet up in front of the telly :)

Hello everyone! Joining the ttc club. A bit nervous but excited. I'm trying for my second, my son is 6 in May.

I taught myself to knit and crochet when I was pregnant with DS, mainly because I couldn't get up off the sofa and needed something to keep me busy

Jam - I'm sorry to hear its all getting you down, I feel your pain I know how hard it is. We are nearly at 2 years and my BFP only came after 18 months and a shed load of fertility drugs. The only advice I can offer is to try and take the pressure of off yourselves, I appreciate its easier said than done but we had almost but given up and didn't pay any attention to when we DTD and it was that cycle that we fell - I honestly think relaxing and thinking about other things helps the process. If you can just enjoy DTD with your dh rather than think of it as a baby making process (not that you don't already but hopefully you know what I mean). It will happen for you I'm sure and hopefully you won't need the fertility appointment. My Dr said to us a lot of couples fall once they have the appointment date as they relax feeling that something is being done to help I hope this is the case for you xx

Welcome Spud!

Fed up with DH at the moment. He's been ill with a terrible cough for 8 weeks now. Finished his course of antibiotics and he's just coughed so hard he's been sick (he hasn't been like that for a week and a half so clearly he isn't better). He won't go back to the doctors!!! Either his anxiety is much greater than he's letting on or he's too ill to go to work (he's never had a single sick day in the 6 years I've known him). He is 'thinking about letting' me make an emergency appt for him in the AM. UGH!!! Does he not want to be better?!

BTW, this is the PMT talking... I get very weepy and pretty easily annoyed. Sorry all!

Hey Spud! I also have a DS, he's 4, he's talking a lot about a sibling now so I'm getting very anxious to deliver!
I totally echo your words Kiki! I wish wish wish I could just bloody relax about it. 3 people very close to me have fallen (since I've been ttc) not even trying! 2 of them took a year or more with their previous pregnancy when they were in full ttc mode... how can you relax about it when it's the only thing you can think about tho!! Arrrggghh!! x
Oh dear Kate, your DH needs a good talking to! Why do men hate the Doctors?!! Stubborn buggers

Beagles I'm not v good at knitting either but need a distraction.
Ha ha** what are u going to do when you are preggers!? Spiders are far worse
Temps can play up if u have been out and about. Funnily I found my thermometer this morn and took it, just wondered where I could b in cycle.. it was so low but had almost a bottle of prosecco last night. Drowning sorrows..

Welcome spud My boys are 9&7, lovely age. My youngest would love another sibling :)** they are very much mummy's boys and love to help out.

Kate, hope you are ok. Funny how men like to play the martyr in these situations. My husband exactly the same - before he's had bad headaches or sprained ankle but refuses to medicate. I'm not surprised you are depressed from the sounds of your job. Def worth visit to gp. Think I'm depressed too. Very weepy, bad sleep, feeling pants.
Not like me.. I use to be happy and quick to laugh but feel pretty rubbish about things. Got some sleeping pills from gp but I'm worried about taking them incase I don't hear the boys.. can see how depression can spiral out of control, feel like I'm getting sucked in.

Tee/jam i too don't understand how u can be relaxed and even if u are it still doesn't blooming work. Out of interested I rolled two dice.. and guess what.. got a double 5 first go but then didn't for at least 12 goes.
I'm so disappointed about things as I'm desp for another child and feel like it's going to take forever to get back on track.

Hi Kiki, are u back on clomid? Can't remember? It's weird as first month off it and side effects have completely gone. Didn't expect it to be that soon. My vision is much better so guess that's what made my eyes blurry every now and then.

Sorry if I've missed anyone just drifting in and out as I miss you all.
Sending good wishes..

Crazy typing.. sorry about the bold??

The relax theory drives me mad. Back at cycle 6-7 I was losing the plot so took a step back started yoga and ceramics, mindfulness, made a real effort to relax. It made absolutely no difference. I appreciate for some people it might make a difference, but every time sometime tells me to just relax and it will happen it makes me about 10 times more stressed and guilty as I feel like it's been my fault all along.

Kiki this is in no way aimed at you and I know you were trying to help which is really kind of you. I appreciate for some people it might make a difference.

I think it's the low morphology that's preventing us falling. And there's not much we can do about that - apart from wait for IVF.

DS has wanted a sibling and been obsessed with babies since he could talk I feel quite guilty sometimes that he won't have a sibling close in age. He's 6 soon. He's very excited though, wondering if we shouldn't have mentioned anything yet!

I'm trying not to get too excited and put pressure on myself. I wasn't really trying when I got pregnant with DS, just not trying not to and it happened straight away. I know it might not be as easy this time but can't help getting my hopes up!

It took 12 months for my first ds and just as was going for tests etc.. it happened. Was over Christmas and new year so I guess I was tipsy! My second ds wasn't planned at all, just one night with no protection conceived at summer time. I've put it down to me getting old!

Jam is there anything your DH can take to boost swimmers? I only ever heard of selenium. Might be worth looking into it if u haven't already tried. Are u still having acupuncture?

Footy he's on proxeed - a special supplement to help improve sperm quality. Have seen it recommended in various places. Hopefully it'll help. He's got another SA later this month

Welcome spud!

Not to worry jam I appreciate that some strategies don't work for some - I hope your appointment brings you some answers x

Footy -oh yes back on the clomid and the symptoms I don't know about you but the night sweats for me are just the worst. Even in the minus temperatures and no pajamas I wake up soaked in sweat! And I seem to wake up with a bad headache a few days before ovulation. I'm surprised the symptoms go away that quickly but glad you no longer suffer blurry vision - I've not had that thankfully did it not make you feel unwell?

Tee - I totally know what you mean and in hindsight I hate it when people say just relax to me so apologies it if annoyed anyone. How can you relax when it's something you want so badly, maybe I'm just stuck in holiday mode but seem able to let it not dominate me at the moment and feel better for being more relaxed about it. Perhaps a holiday is the answer!!

Kiki, funnily I only had the night sweats & hot flushes on the third/forth cycle and only got them until i ovulated. No sweats or anything at the mo so assume they have gone. I couldn't drink on clomid whilst taking it at start of cycle as I was so so so sick. Felt like my head was floating backwards. Lesson learned! Yes also had headaches few days leading up to ovulation and terrible sore aching boobs. Didn't really feel unwell though.

As many as I know people who have conceived being "relaxed" I also know the same amount of people who fell being very stressed out, so just think it's like tee said - luck of the roll of the dice. Think how much it takes.. fragile good sperm, good lining, good cell formation, the right vitamins, the right angle, good EWCM, good juicy ripe large eggs, good hormone levels, good implantation and that's without what goes into the planning, charting and to get the other halves in the right mood, right diet, and stamina. It's exhausting! No wonder we all like a good drink now and then

Ok jumping in mid conversation. Sorry! I'll catch up in a second. But what the feck? Am I ovulating? Help! My chart has completely rearranged itself! Massive temp dip and loads of cm! I was gearing up for a bfn on Saturday! Argh!

I kind of hate the relax theory too. Makes me feel inadequate somehow!

Ahh spud you're lo sounds like me at his age. Then I had two younger brothers and boy did I change lol.

footy get yourself to the gp. You have so much on your shoulders atm you need to look after yourself.

I'm completely confused. More ewcm than I've ever had before. Like wtaf? Actually a bit down about it tbh like what's the point in tracking if just going to be bloody stupid?

Think a temp dip is usual in luteal phase. Either that or you are ovulating later than u thought. I guess see what your temp is tomorrow? Your temps are pretty low? Are they usually low? My post ovulation temps are much higher. Maybe u need to wear some bedsocks! What time do u take your temp?

My temps are normally coverline around 36.1 and then after ovulation min around 36.3/36.4 so they've been really low this cycle! But my sleep cycle has been all over the place. Not sleeping at all most nights and then snoozing around 5-11am ish. So my temps usually been taken around 11am but been all over the place because of sleep. But this drop is massive. Told dh he's getting some action tonight for his birthday lol. Hope he buys it!

Ugh so annoyed. But reckon this means I can drink at his birthday on Saturday? Suppose have to see what temps do tomorrow

Update for my lovely friends on here. "H" is back home. Things still a bit awkward, think we have a long way to go before normality. Not sure how I feel right now as feel I'm making all the effort. Thoughts are going in my new journal, and enjoying a glass of wine before I take myself off to bed. X

That sounds like a few good steps footy. Make sure you take sometime for you. Even if it's only 5 minutes a day! Have you thought anymore about counselling?