Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Have I left it too late for children?

38 replies

user1479210122 · 16/11/2016 18:49

Hi everyone my name is Louisa and I'm 30 nearly 31.
This month will be my first month trying for a baby.
I've got it into my mind that I've left it too late and I might be infertile.
All my friends had children aged 20/21 so I often get asked what's wrong with me etc.
My periods are every 29 days on the dot so I think I know when I ovulate monthly.
I'm just scared in case I never get pregnant.
I will be devastated..I keep thinking your not that lucky to fall pregnant and that my body won't be able to do that.
I know it's totally irrational ..tomorrow night will be first night of trying and then every other day...according to app I ovulate Sunday.

OP posts:
Manumission · 16/11/2016 18:50

Of course you haven't.

justforthisonce · 16/11/2016 18:50

very insensitive self obsessed post.

BratFarrarsPony · 16/11/2016 18:51

at that age, I doubt it.
If you want to make a baby you have to practise for at least a year before you can start worrying about infertility...
have fun...:)

knaffedoff · 16/11/2016 18:51

Nah, loads of time. I had my first at 38 :-)

MissClarke86 · 16/11/2016 18:52

I'm 30 and pregnant with my first. The odds are very much still in your favour.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 16/11/2016 18:52

I had my first at 36 and second 'surprise' one at 39, despite my DH having lower than normal fertility levels. It took 18 months the first time. Don't worry about it, see what happens, you've got plenty of time. Good luck Flowers

klassy · 16/11/2016 18:54

Well, I started your age and still haven't had luck (mid 30s). Some women don't. Chances are you will. But if you don't, like many others, you'll cope. We all get through somehow.

Are you this anxious generally?

miwelaisjacydo · 16/11/2016 18:54

OP your post reads quite badly which I'm sure wasn't your intention. Remember there are lots of women on here struggling with TTC.

haveacupoftea · 16/11/2016 18:59

I dont see whats wrong with the OP. Shes allowed to talk about her fears, just because mumsnet has an unspoken hierachy of fertility worries doesnt mean the OP cant voice hers.

Anyway, if you are having regular period you are more than likely fine OP. It will likely take a few months so dont panic. But youve a lot of years left before worrying about your age.

Original poster
user1479210122 · 16/11/2016 19:02

Sorry it wasn't meant to come across as nasty.
I just wrote down my fears and sorry if that was insensitive to some.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 16/11/2016 19:06

It's a bit daft to be worrying when you are decades away from menopause and haven't even tried yet. Time to worry if you're still without baby in 2018.

WantingBaby1 · 16/11/2016 19:07

Totally normal to feel terrified that you're infertile. I worry too, and there is no reason to! I'm 30 and am on cycle 2.

I think it's natural - we go through our teens and beyond terrified of getting pregnant and then when we want to we worry we won't be able to! At school they basically tell you a boy only has to look at you with his willy and you'll be up the duff. Not quite the case once we hit 30 but I can assure you you've nothing to be concerned assure out until you've been actively trying for a year.

justforthisonce · 16/11/2016 19:08

its the title of the thread that is very insensitive and comes accross badly

ScarletSienna · 16/11/2016 19:08

Your post is not insensitive! I also think it's a natural worry the older you get but I wouldn't say you've left it too late at all.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 16/11/2016 19:13

A lot of women in their late 20s/early 30s worry about fertility because of the rubbish about 'career women delaying pregnancy' regularly splattered all over papers. (Obviously anyone who had children at the age of 20 and later ended up single we would then be castigated by the same papers for being feckless single mothers.)

Ebbenmeowgi · 16/11/2016 19:17

It's natural to be worried when you're first ttc. Best thing you can do is to try and relax and forget about it. I was really tense and worried when first ttc and have really irregular periods so that didn't help as I never knew when to test! Fell pregnant after a year but miscarried. Strangely, it made me really relax as I knew then that I actually could get pregnant and we conceived again a few months later Smile I'm a few years older than you too. Remember it can take well over a year so don't panic if it doesn't happen immediately!

Sparrowlegs248 · 16/11/2016 19:20

I had the same worries op but started a good few years later than you. It took me over two years to get pregnant, had started fertility investigations when it occurred naturally. I had ds when I was 38. I will be 39 still when I have Dc2 with an 18 month age gap, having conceived again while dtd once in a blue moon, irregular periods and on the mini pill.

Try not to obsess too much, and expect it to take a year. Don't assume you know when you ovulate, mine is VERY early, which is probably why it took so long the first time.

Patriciathestripper1 · 16/11/2016 19:24

No I had my last at 43.

Lilly948204 · 16/11/2016 19:31

I'm 29 and had similar worries, fertility does decrease after 30 and there are higher risks for abnormalities but it doesn't mean you won't be able to get pregnant. I have been lucky enough to get pregnant very quickly both times, unfortunately the first one ended in a MMC at 10 weeks. I'm now pregnant again and so far everything looks ok. It's natural to worry and I'm sure you didn't mean any offence xx

whirlwinds · 16/11/2016 19:35

From the title I thought you were late 30s-early 40s, most people I know have their first child at the end of their 20s early 30s so you are not too old.

MalbecAndLindt · 16/11/2016 19:38

Earlier this year, DP and I were having lots of discussions about TTC. At the time, my anxiety was also at a really bad point and I was having panic attacks (work related) but I remember questioning him on his stance on IVF as I genuinely thought we may have trouble. No obvious reasons why I thought that way, just did. I was even asking him his thoughts on adoption if needed.

Time came to TTC. I was pregnant first month and I'm 26 weeks today, due in Feb. I'm also 30, BTW.

I think it's perfectly normal to have these fears but chances are you'll be fine.and ifit does take time, you've got time on your side. All I can say is relax and try to enjoy it. Good luck OP

quicklydecides · 16/11/2016 19:50

Yes you've left it too late for children.
I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you did ask.
It's very unlikely you will ever have a child.

Hmm
Pooky77 · 16/11/2016 20:24

Try to remember that fertility levels decrease at different rates for everyone, fertility is an individual thing although the general trend is that it declines during your 30's. I'm pregnant with my first at 39 although we had to use the ivf route my infertility has nothing to do with my age. Try focusing on some positive stats such as most couples will conceive within their first year of trying and best of luck.

MouseLove · 16/11/2016 20:34

I'm 33 and TTC my first. I can understand your fears as I felt that before I started trying. I think if you're having regular cycles you are winning, track ovulation and DTD regular and I'm sure you'll have no problem trying. Remember it can take up to a year. Good luck. X

user1471496670 · 16/11/2016 22:06

Well I hope not...I'm 38 and a half and we just started trying this month!