Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Thread 20 TTC #1 - We. Want. Babies.

984 replies

AlexiaB · 20/10/2016 10:06

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (AF) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww. That is paramount! It messes with your head and makes you crazy crazier.

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. A more lovely, supportive group of ladies you couldn't wish to meet. We like it when the grads stick around too. No question is too daft. We have opk experts, temp experts, cervical mucus management teams and symptom spotters extraudinaire!

Thread 20 TTC #1 - We. Want. Babies.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
54
MouseLove · 25/10/2016 19:20

I know, I know. It's just very difficult wondering what if and when. It might be cycle 1 of actually trying but this is something me and DH have been planning for 8 years. We've unfortunately had some very bad luck in the past that meant we've had to start/stop the process. I guess that's why I'm feeling a little rollercoaster right now. I've been fine the last few days, completely laid back. And now this has reminded me I'm 33 next month, been with DH 13 years and we're still childless.

Musicgrrl · 25/10/2016 19:24

I totally get it Mouse. I don't think films and general culture help things. We have all been conditioned to think that if you have unprotected sex one time you are likely to become pregnant. Or even protected sex that somehow ends in pregnancy! So we all feel worried when things don't happen straight away.

Starmist · 25/10/2016 19:55

Wow so much to catch up on...

Winging I just lie there for 10 mins after DTD. I heard about the pillow thing, but surely you'd get swimmers over your pillow then? Hmm

Purple my DH struggles DTD regularly, he puts it down to being tired, he has a stressful job. I'd thought about him going to the doctor but like you I'm not sure what they could do. Also I'd worry that if we tell the doctor we aren't DTD as much as we should, we'll get sent away & tests will be put back.

Sorry you're having a tough time at the moment Skipper & EJ. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Skipper eek about the MIL comment. Hopefully she somehow meant well by it, like 'no pressure' perhaps... My MIL always drops hints that I should cook, she usually buys me a cookery book for Christmas. DH does the cooking, I do the cleaning, it works well, god knows why she can't just accept that!

Binky I've had pretty regular 31 day cycles since coming off the pill, then one cycle was randomly 40 days. I was convinced I must have been pregnant & it just wasn't showing up on the tests. The doctor said I might not have ovulated that cycle. I'd suggest you wait a week & if no AF test again. I know the wait is excruciating tho...

Music baby bombs are the worst. I know quite a few people who got upduffed the first cycle too, they really struggled with the shock of it though so I suppose it's a journey for us all with challenges if it happens quickly or slowly.

Notyet what a difficult thing to go through with grandMIL. It does frustrate me when people make comments & have no idea what's going on.

Nicky great results!

Mouse it will happen for us all, our time will come xx

YouOweMeATenner · 25/10/2016 20:02

Welcome waps hoping you get over AF quickly so you can get down to business ASAP.

sk1pper that was pretty insensitive of your MIL Sad

Sorry about the baby bomb mouse, it will be you soon!

My temp didn't spike today so I'm not sure if that means I haven't ovulated yet or not. Dtd just in case.

My young cousin (23) just gave birth to her second baby today. Both were "accidental" as she put it. Gives me a wee bit of the rage.

MrsG280516 · 25/10/2016 20:11

You might just be taking a bit longer to surge tenner and might have ov'd during the day today

LondonJem · 25/10/2016 20:23

I love the promise of beer exchange for sex music

Mouse know the feeling. I've been with DH 10 years and started trying age 32 also. It's amazing as soon as you start how impatient you are. I would really try to relax and enjoy the early cycles though - you may well be upduffed quickly and have worried for nothing.

Hello starmist how's it going with you?

Notyetthere · 25/10/2016 20:40

Mouse - Sorry about the baby bomb. We really want to be happy for our upduffed family and friends but its difficult. I think I would have been baby bombed lots had I not left facebook 2 months ago. I was already envious of friends who were pregnant even way before I came off the pill.

Starmist · 25/10/2016 20:54

All good here thanks Jem. Feeling weirdly relaxed, gearing up for (hopefully) some decent DTD activity over the weekend. I've booked a doctors appointment for 1st Nov so FX we'll be able to start with the tests. Are you ok?

sk1pper · 25/10/2016 21:04

Ok new thread rule: Do not compare yourselves to others.

Unfortunately there are many lucky women who can look at a man and get pregnant. And as others have said already, we are conditioned when we're young to think if you have unprotected sex, you're going to get pregnant. The reality is that most people take much longer, sometimes there can be underlying problems, sometimes not. And even with underlying problems, nature will normally find a way eventually.

I think the issue is that many of us on here have planned the perfect time to have our first child. We finally feel ready and it is a bit disheartening when it doesn't happen instantaneously.

I sometimes fear I'll fall out of love of wanting a child, up until a few years ago I couldn't even say I liked children. To be honest I'm not over the moon about babies, they cry and poop and throw up. All I'm focusing on is my future with that child and what I can provide it, the knowledge I can impart and the successful, nurtured and loved person I want them to be.

So...don't think about others. Good luck to them but fuck them. This is about you and your individual journeys, you should all feel so proud of what you've achieved so far and the support you impart to others on the thread. We'll have some more BFPs yet!

YouOweMeATenner · 25/10/2016 21:27

Thanks sk1pper, I actually needed to hear that. Comparatively, I know I'm at the beginning of the journey on cycle 2. I was having a very reflective moment over the weekend and this is what I came up with. I don't deal very well with situations that are out of my control. I've been eating right, exercising, taking supplements, temping, using opks, reading EVERYTHING I can find online about ttc, basically putting in the 'hard work' and there's still a chance it will take an unknown amount of time. In my work life I'm used to results reflecting the effort I put in. Unfortunately ttc isn't the same. Why can't it just be like a test, you study hard and do well frig sake! Grrr.

LondonJem · 25/10/2016 21:41

Great, very similar to me starmist! I'm alright - fertile week for me is usually pretty upbeat. Love a positive OPK enjoy all the sex and getting all the spunk up there at the right time. It's the TWW where it all goes downhill for me! Godamn hormones!

MouseLove · 25/10/2016 21:42

oh Sk1pper thank you, needed that too. I unfortunately have been broody the last 15 years. Ive always been a 'mother hen' and I'm fascinated by babies and pregnancy. I have a wonderful God son, who's now 12!! I remember watching baby programs constantly when my friend was pregnant and then babysat constantly when he was a baby. I know it will happen eventually in one way or another, I'm determined to expand my family now. x

LondonJem · 25/10/2016 21:43

Hear hear skipper well said

Yes tenner that's how I feel. Putting all the hours in and where are the results?? It's such a lack of control

Nicky883 · 25/10/2016 21:44

I agree skipper !
Comparison is the thief of joy!

AlexiaB · 25/10/2016 22:11

I'm similar to a lot of you. I've been with DH 7 years and have always been obsessed with babies. My best friend got pregnant at 18 accidentally, then had a 16 week miscarriage in 2014 and gave birth to another baby in 2015. My other best friend came off the pill in 2013 and was no jokeupduffed within 2 weeks!! Even the doctor was shocked. Sometimes it's hard for them to know what I'm going through and it's hard to be around their babies. I know I'm younger than most but I decided against pursuing my law career to start a family early at 23/24 because it felt right after getting married at 20. The fact it hasn't happened yet kills me inside with career guilt, and it feels like salt in the wounds watching everyone around me with their babies. I find it hardest seeing people announce pregnancy and then announce the birth as it shows just how far away I am from having that too, and just how long I've been trying. I really struggle to keep the negative 'it won't happen/you're not lucky enough/you're not worthy enough' thoughts at bay. This journey fucking sucks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

OP posts:
AlexiaB · 25/10/2016 22:14

Oops I realise that's such a negative post. Comparison is certainly the theif of joy but it's so, so hard to avoid. X

OP posts:
MrsG280516 · 25/10/2016 22:23

It really is hard to ignore, my best friend is one of the only people my age close to me who has babies (another is my cousin) and she fell pregnant with her first in one week when switching from the implant to the pill (seriously?!) before the pill got into her system!

Then with her second baby which was planned, she had the coil removed and was pregnant within a month.

But for every person who falls pregnant in their first cycle there's another who takes a little longer. It's just that we only seem to think of the ones who fall get upduffed straight away!

Thingymaboob · 25/10/2016 22:35

Mrs G, I completely understand what you mean. My best friend was so drunk she forgot she had even had sex and she got pregnant and another friend had food poisoning for a couple of days (on the pill) and she also got pregnant! Not fair!!!

Kitsandkids · 25/10/2016 23:19

Hello all. I try not to stray onto these boards as I just get my hopes up only to have them inevitably dashed. But, oh well, I'm here!

I've been TTC on and off for about 9 years. But a lot of that time has been 'off' due to my husband living abroad for work etc. He also has a very low sex drive so we never make the recommended 'at least 3 times a week.' So I can't say for certain I'm infertile, but there have been months when it would have been possible for me to get pregnant only I never have.

So here I am, on CD 33 with no AF. I usually have a 28 day cycle, very occasionally starting a day early or a day or 2 late. Not usually 5 unless I've been away during my period, as that can sometimes mess it up. But this has been a normal month.

My boobs are a bit tender, I've been having cramps since I was due on, and I've had some sudden dizziness every now and again since Thursday. I've also, since then, been eating very healthily and cooking from scratch every day. Which is very unlike me. I always get a pizza to watch in front of Strictly but this Saturday I cooked sweet corn fritters, parmesan roast potatoes and cauliflower nachos. Honestly, if you knew me you'd think it was bizarre!

The likelihood is my period is going to arrive very soon. Probably tomorrow. And I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up as I've been let down so many times. But I can't help hoping.

HepKestrel · 26/10/2016 05:56

Welcome kits . have you poas?

EJ2009 · 26/10/2016 06:14

Its just so flippin hard not to see womens bumps and be envious. Ive always wanted children and for about 4 years ive been ready to try so i think thats why im taking this so hard. I almost feel further along in the process.

Temperature dropped off a cliff this morning so i guess i better prepare for af and say goodbye to my dream of being pregnant before my friends December baby arrives.

Gosh this process is hard

sk1pper · 26/10/2016 06:57

Welcome kits!

Sorry EJ :( Flowers

Still waiting for my temp to drop, super fatty at the moment. Know it's a pg sign but I did eat lentils in my meal last night..,,hmmm

sk1pper · 26/10/2016 06:57

*farty not fatty!

Binkybunny13 · 26/10/2016 07:39

Skipper what on earth was your MIL thinking?! I can totally sympathise as I also have a challenging MIL. Sorry she was so thoughtless to you Flowers Great new thread rule too. You are so right- I keep trying to remember that just because someone else is pregnant it doesn't mean all the babies are used up, just not my time yet

Nicky great results, LSFX! I have good feelings about cycle 11- and you Jem!

Thank you Starmist - really good advice. Still no AF (7days late) but I know that there is minimal chance I'm pregnant- still find I can't help hoping though. But if I was, hcg would be showing on the tests by now unless I was the one in about 2000 who has a late BFP on HPT. Not likely!

Good luck to those in FW that they get lots of DTD in, and those sperm do some excellent swimming! And you ej and kits, hope AF keeps away and a BFP is yours.

geeup · 26/10/2016 08:26

God I've missed so much chat on my holiday! Good luck to everyone waiting to test/af. Skipper you're the closest to my test date so still holding out for you. Sadly I'm out as started this morning - only made it to 11dpo on my first clomid cycle so feeling pretty sad it didn't work. Will call my clinic later today to book in my scan for clomid cycle 2 - cycle 19 in total Confused