want baby number 3 at 30, am i to old??

[jaynel]

I have 2 children and a step daughter, my dd is 8 my ds is 20 months and my sd is 9, i am longing for another baby and my dh has just agreed we can try for another next year, i will be 30 by then. am i too old and mad, my family think im mad and my sister said its to old more so that i have 1 of each plus a sd. Also the big downer is money, we bring a good amount in but a lot goes out, debt and stuff, is there anybody out there that has four children and no money if so am i doing the right thing and will i cope????.

my sisters thank u countessdracula x

and is your sister medically qualified?

no she isnt prehaps she is jelous but she has just knocked my self esteem and made me feel bad about wanting another.

"1/3 of women in their mid-thirties have yet to have their first baby. The mean age of women when they have their first child is 27"

So this means that you were well under the average age when you had your first, tell her you are just evening things up, statistically

Seriously, she is talking nonsense. As you say she could be jealous. Do what YOU want!

Jaynel, I don't think anyone is 'judging' you, I just think people have reacted strongly in support of a mother wanting a child at 30+ that's all.

teecee i think people over-reacted actually

If jayne is concerned about it then it is NOT a ridiculous question for her!

It often comes down to what your close circle of friends/family do too. My sister had her first at 20, all her friends had had their kids by the time they were 25. My sister thought having kids at 30+ was old because she didn't know anyone else who had.

Yes I see your point cd

but as I said before if I can get my head round someone wanting to have a baby at 19 why on earth cant people do the same for a 30 or 40 year old?

it IS a ridicolsou question as it clearly is not the concern here

i dont have a problem with people having children at whatever age, but i listen to what people say and think about me to much.

Yes perhaps a coupe of posts have been a little ott but that's mumsnet for you! I think it's natural for most women these days to be shocked that anyone would think 30 was too old to be having children, and the title shocked people into posting in the way they did.
I still don't think anyone is judging you Jaynel, I just think they were all shocked at anyone thinking 30 was old and they reacted. Don't be put off.

thats how i feel compo, u hit the nail on the head! thanx

I'm 30 next month, had my first at 28, am pg with no. 2 and dh and I very much like the idea of having another 1 (or 2) 5 years or so down the line. I'm basically assuming (bar any medical conditions etc.) that we have a good 10 years of fertility ahead of us.
But I definitely agree with compo's point. For MIL I was very 'old' to be having my first because in the GDR, where she comes from, most women had their first in their late teens or early twenties.

Oh and I've just found out that my dear friend is pg, a week or so behind me. She'll be 37

thank u teecee, i just wanted advise from people that dont know me, i didnt want people to think i was ridiculos.x

sorry janel I was a bit harsh

hope you make the right decision for you.

i also wanted advice from mothers with 4 children that stuggled with money, not just the age issue.

I understand Jaynel, but I really don't think anyone thinks that YOU are ridiculois, more just the fact that the idea of 30 being too old is mad, that's all.

I think if you want 3 then yu should go for it.
We can't afford it either treally but lots of people cope on less with more children then we'll have.

There was s thread recently about why mums with 3+ wanted 3. I'll try and find it for you as it may help you.

yes pls teecee that would be great.

Here you go, thread about having 3 children

Hm...why would 30 be to old? As of 35(ish) there seem to be an increased of possible problems, but 30 is a perfectly reasonable age, but then, my opinion is that we are meant to have Baby's (by nature now) until we start our menopause... (disclaimerbvioulsy I do realsie that some women start menopause at a very young age, and of course for those it doesn't mean they are to old to have Baby's)

(Actually, 3andnomore, I believe that there are slightly fewer problems from 35 - 40. If I remember rightly there is a slightly higher risk of early miscarriage after 35, but also a lower risk of foetal abnormalities, as the older body is less tolerant and tends to miscarry. The risk of Downs Syndrome for the baby goes up somewhat, but it is not until after 40, I think, that it starts to go up significantly.)

I may be wrong - it's a while since I did my research - but no, Jaynel, 30 is a positive youngster. I know lots of much much older mothers, some of them just starting out.

Crikey no I will be 40 by the time I consider No 3 as am 38 later this year and DD2 is only 7 months.

jaynel

People are going to keep answering the thread title not the post as such so if you have specific questions you want answering may be worth starting a new thread??? Just an idea.