Thread 18 TTC#1 We have cats, courgettes AND cake

[AliceScarlett]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount! It messes with your head and makes you crazy crazier

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. A more lovely, supportive group of ladies you couldn't wish to meet. We've got a few grads sticking around I won't leave and no question is too daft. We have opk experts, cervical mucus management teams and symptom spotters extraudinaire!

I'm CD18 lovely - have had a little bit of cramping yesterday and today too so worried that the witch is going to rear her head early (especially as it's my first cycle post pill)

london you poor thing - no wonder you don't want to be anywhere near your husband right now

Jem so sorry to hear about that, it's a really rough deal!! I know this is easier to say than do but try not to let ttc push you away from your DH. Saying that I'd be flipping mad too right now! Try having a talk with him later? And if you need space to unwind and destress this weekend without him or family take it, you defiantly deserve it!

Art post-pill cycles are even more fun a games! Fx it is something positive!

The thing is its him pushing me away. I'm doing everything I can here, acupuncture, yoga, breathing exercises, watching my diet, swimming, I even bought books to try and help me relax. I take supplements, I upset my stomach horribly trying aloe vera, I'm taking a ceramics course to try and take my mind off things! Not to mention all the tracking and symptom spotting and opks and the crushing disappointment and tears when month after month my period comes.

all he has to do is have sex with me, for those few important days a month. And going out and getting drunk with his friends is more important than that.

Fuck. Him. I am so fucking angry right now.

So sorry Jem I can totally understand how frustrated you must be right now. I would be fuming too.

Could you find time once you feel a bit calmer to sit down and have a proper talk about it all and explain to him about everything you've said, maybe he's just being a bit of a typical man and not really realised/thought about how much you're doing and going through and how it's making you feel?

Hope you feel better soon and some too x

He knows marmite he knows it all. He's just been incredibly selfish.

What's another cycle hey

Jem I'd be angry too. Have some time away if you need. Disappointment is a horrible feeling, but I don't know whether you can completely write off this cycle, did you have sex within 3 days of ov?

Is he stressed out? Is getting drunk an avoidance strategy?

Hope you don't mind me jumping on the thread.

Art - I had exactly the same thing as you yesterday. I'm CD 19, first month after coming off the pill. I also had stomach ache like I would when AF is due but today everything has gone back to normal.

Don't really know what to think of it!

Alice we DTD every night until yesterday. Ovulation I think was yesterday but could be today. Maybe that will be enough but my plan was to keep going through this week to make sure we are covered.

He's fine, he really wants this, he is on board. He was just a dick last night. He can't bear to not "keep up" with the lads. I couldn't imagine him saying I'm calling it a night or I'll just have a water this round.

Not the best news from the scan. No heartbeat. Transvaginal scan was inconclusive. Back next week to find either fetal stalk growth or unviable pregnancy.

I may disappear from mn again.

Oh Hep - I'm so sorry. for you - take all the time you need. :(

for you, too Jem - it must be maddening. I had a shout at DH this morning over something tiny and stupid - I am tired and stressing over TTC and about his efforts to find a job. We need some good news and I'm embarrassed I let things get to me.

Oh Hep I'm so sorry to hear that. Does inconclusive mean they couldn't find a heartbeat and it may be fine? What's fetal stalk growth?

We are here if you need us

Welcome MrsLoz!

Jem take care of yourself, sending lots of hugs your way, hope things start working out for you soon.

Hep so sorry about the inconclusive scan. Take all the time you need and we're all thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Kav you're not stupid, you're a perfectly normal human with everything you're going through! I doubt I'd hold my cool in that situation!

Kwick thinking of you today, hope all goes well with eggy!

Hep so sorry to hear this does this mean they could still find a heartbeat next scan? Sorry I feel like I should know this. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love.

Jem it sounds like you've done quite a bit of dtd in run up to OV. Everything crossed for you. Hope things are better between you and DH soon.

Hope you can have a nice relaxing weekend Kav of course things are going to get to you now and then when so much going on, you shouldn't feel bad about it!

Thinking of you today too Kwick good luck!

I have my scan tomorrow and feeling really quite anxious about it... it's not til the end of the day and we're spending the afternoon with DH's family. Not sure how I'm going to concentrate at all!

I am so sorry hep
Jem i undestand how you feel i think they dont undestand how much more difficult it is for us !

Another friend announce pregnancy :p she said they were not really trying just stop using condoms :p dont know weather to believe people when they say that anymore cause i would propably say the same !

Good luck Kwick

Nicky when I eventually get pregnant I'm going to tell everyone how long it took!

Hope it goes OK tomorrow Marmite Sure you'll be fine

Alice I'd be the same!! After all this time, effort and stress I'd be totally unable to lie and say "oh well you know it just happened"!

Fx for you tomorrow Marmite! If you get a picture show us!

Oh hep I'm so sorry it wasn't better news. Thinking of you

Kav don't be embarrassed these things get to all of us, best to acknowledge it and have a rant / cry and process it properly. We are not robots, ttc is very emotional!

Marmite everything crossed for your scan tomorrow.

Thanks for your support girls xx

thanks.

fx for you Marmite

(there is still a chance for me, but i am not feeling hopeful).

Everything crossed for you hep, could it just be its too tiny to pick up in there? You poor thing having to wait. Really wishing you good news when you go back.

possibly jem. Apparently the fetal stem/stalk is meant to double in length each week. He didn't see that growth from the last scan, though the last scan was a "tummy" ultrascan so less accurate. Scans are more difficult because it was so early. thats why it was inconclusive.

Oh dear, it's a bit of a sad Friday on our thread this week :(

Hep, I'm really really sorry to hear your news. It seems extra cruel when you had hope you might have been quite a way further on just a short time ago. You must have swung from extreme high to extreme low in emotions over the last few weeks which must be bloody draining. We all have everything crossed for you next week, hoping the wait isn't too tortuous for you

Jem, sorry to hear you're having a shit day too. Your DH sounds like he's been insensitive and a bit of a twat. Hopefully a bit of time today will take the edge off your anger and the two of you can have a proper chat tonight?

I think we need to remember that however much we emotionally and physically invest in the TTC process it would be impossible for our partners to really appreciate how much it affects us. Think back to your pre-TTC days and when you heard about other people's struggles; it was really hard to appreciate the reality and have any real empathy.
Although he's your DH, and should obviously be your natural support, he's not going to be fully aware of all the complex emotions you're going through - it's a completely different world to his.

He was certainly in the wrong to get pissed when you'd asked him twice though, so talk about that with him and explain why you're angry but maybe try and separate that from everything else.

Also, try to think positive that chances of BFP after DTD on day of ovulation are lower than if you do it in the days beforehand so the month isn't a write-off. Treat yourselves over the weekend and be nice to each other - life's too short :)

Welcome Mrs Loz. Enjoy the excitement of the start of TTC - I hope you don't suffer from too much post-pill random cycle headfuckery!

Thinking of you today Kwik. Please report back with details!

No news here (seem to say that a lot!). Day 32 and still expecting AF to arrive over the weekend, purely because it would be MOST inconvenient. I did a cheapie test this morning and it was a snowy white BFN of course. I wasn't disappointed as I had no expectation of anything else but wanted to be extra sure ahead of going away with DP this weekend as we'll be packing lots of booze.

Have a good afternoon and lovely weekend everyone. Look after yourselves and be happy!

Ok tmi alert sorry
Today is my second day of period is very heavy i just fell a huge thing falling out of me .
I went to check and it was a very big clot almost solid and it was red but with grey in it !
I never had this before i dont undestand what is is ?!??

Jem I hope you've recovered a bit. Boys are fcking idiots sometimes, I really feel for you. Good advice from penguin* though, hope you can get some good chat with him and enjoy your weekend - what's done is done, you're not out (maybe you can have a reconciliation dtd?)

Hep pal, nothing any of us say is going to help right now. I had to have my scans 2 weeks apart when I went through similar, and in those two weeks I stupidly convinced myself that they were wrong, and that it would be fine when I went back, so I was devastated all over again. The only advice I would give you is to try to keep yourself busy, take your mind off it. I just went to the gym, went for saunas, ate ALL the cheese and drank (some) wine and just got through it. Stay away from here if it helps you, but know that we are all feeling for you, and are here if you need us. If you want to chat feel free to pm me love, but fingers crossed that its good news for you xx