Thread 18 TTC#1 We have cats, courgettes AND cake

[AliceScarlett]

Hugh enjoys ISW and his love affair with Doreen. He watches out for skittle tits and weepyitis. Mrs Arseholey Fucknut (Af) shows up when you least want her but brings wine and soft cheese as a consolation prize.

We don't have rules as such but expect to be talked down from the ledge with kind and well meaning but firm words if you get too hysterical. But most importantly don't convince yourself you're pregnant in the tww That is paramount! It messes with your head and makes you crazy crazier

We don't get a lot of baby dust in these here parts. We want a fanny full of determined Doreen, not unicorn farts and gnome tears with extra sparkle. We've been going a while now so the novelty has somewhat worn off and we're slightly battle scarred and bruised in the cervix area.

Post your stats and add your dates. A more lovely, supportive group of ladies you couldn't wish to meet. We've got a few grads sticking around I won't leave and no question is too daft. We have opk experts, cervical mucus management teams and symptom spotters extraudinaire!

Hep the waiting must be awful. Get yourself a treat of your favourite sandwich ever to make up for naughty cat. Grill some fresh chicken breasts! With avocado and bacon in lovely soft bread and mayo for me

Thanks jem . just having a major wobble this morning and feeling sorry for myself.

Am gonna ring gynae after lunch to tell them I'm spotting. Hoping they won't cancel the surgery. I need that end date.

jem and for naughty AF. She's such a tease!

I guess we are similarly waiting for he spotting to turn into something else one way or another. Its another variant of the tww. Just get on with it will you

Oh Hep I think anyone would be having a wobble at this point. Is anyone with you? If you wanted to speak to a helpful stranger you could always contact the miscarriage association xx www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

I think you're allowed to wobble on this one Hep :) I hope the week doesn't drag for you, it's cliche but keeping busy will stop you worrying about it so much. Though I thought symptom checking for AF was bad, this is a whole new level and I feel ashamed about my own personal worries compared to yours.

Sk1pper don't feel bad, but its a good lesson in 'grass is always greener' or in this case 'life is always shitter'. I felt like my world had collapsed when I mc'd, and then my MIL was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Did it make what I had experienced any less painful? no. It is a lesson in finding things to be grateful for though. Nobodies experiences detract from anyone elses, and we only have control over our own pain and suffering.

Hep how are you getting on? Remember there is light at the end of this tunnel, just take each day/wobble as it comes - don't be hard on yourself. Hope you got a bad-ass sandwhich lined up and waved it in grumpycats face.

CD2 for me today - woohooo!! AF got me last night whilst visiting the fam at the hospital so I had to put a brave face on when I was secretly gutted I wasn't one of those upduffed-immediately-after-mc people. Today I am just relieved that I am (hopefully) going to stop bleeding eventually (some biblical 40 day bleed for me so far) and maybe even ovulate this month. FX. So...the average ticket for me (as determined by Ovia, Kindara, Clue and FF - don't judge me) is 10th Oct, but I am never testing again - I don't want to know.

How is everyone? sorry for massive post.

fxskip ok, I wish you were upduffed too, but you are officially back on the metaphorical ttc horse. Really sorry to hear about your MIL . You are completely right about your comments r.e. everyone has shit to deal with.

GrumpyOldCat is fast asleep (and snoring). Unless its chicken, it won't wake him. Somehow chicken has a magic ability to make him 16 years younger (he is 18).

I have clothes on. I mean actual clothes for leaving the house. think i might take clothes to the drycleaners.....

Cd 1, cycle 10
next AF due date is 13 October.

I've given up testing too skip - my mood has been far more stable this week as a result . Feeling quite calm about it this cycle, it's not a surprise. I just don't expect it to happen anymore.

jem

Jem I'm exactly the same. This cycle has actually been rather calm. It's a relief to not be so hopeful. Can you see your gp soon?

Alice I had bloods done at beginning of last cycle and results came back normal. She said come back at a year and we will take next steps. I told her I was at 10 months then - that was 26 July so she will think I'm a year at the beginning of October actually won't she? So maybe I will book in.

Did someone say sperm analysis takes ages on the NHS? I might look at getting it done privately. I'm worried DH's job might affect his sperm, and he is also rather partial to the booze.. Want to get anything amiss ruled out with him sooner rather than later.

Jem it will, but the sooner we resign ourselves to the uncontrollable nature of it the better. Think of all the BFPs we've had over the last few months year and most of them have been when the person was on holiday, ovulated later/early, wasn't trying, wasn't symptom spotting/thought they were out - basically not stressed about it. With the exception of potion-ers, the best solution appears to be to dtd whenever you want and shift your focus to health/fitness/whatever. I know its hard, and when it gets tough that's what we're here for. I found the link that someone posted on another thread really interesting www.annalsofepidemiology.org/article/S1047-2797%2816%2930240-X/pdf
basically stress hinders your chances!!

Stress is a huge factor. I've actually been seconded to a much less stressful role at work since January and I was really hoping this year was my year. My main worry is that soon I'm going back to my old stressful job where I have to work 10-11 hours a day, for less pay in an environment that is altogether quite unpleasant. It was really hard to enjoy DTD when you are freaking out about what the next day brings, deadlines, dealing with difficult clients etc. I'm getting worked up about it now just typing it.

Jem I second what FxSkip said above, but in my case replace the health/fitness with alcohol/no folic acid! I really do think it was my "f*uck it, I can't get pregnant so I don't care" attitude that finally did it!

SA does seem to take forever. When I had my first bloods about 3 months ago DH was booked in as well and the appointment is in 2 weeks time! We're debating keeping it, just in case something goes wrong with this one we are fully prepared for moving forward fully informed.

Hep getting dressed is a massive achievement, I'm still in my pj's! Go get an epic sandwich.

The stress thing might actually stress me out the most! I can't stop wanting this. My job is stressful and I'm naturally an anxious person. I'm trying to relax more and take control - doing acupuncture, swimming, yoga, breathing exercises... I've just signed up for a ceramics course! I'm not sure what else I can do.

I know what you mean about people saying fuck it and giving up but I just can't trick my mind or body into that. I can't stop wanting it to happen

I don't have much time but...

Jem I agree with the others that stress isn't good but to counter that I see SO many women get upduffed on FF who are charting, obsessing etc. One girl was having a breakdown about her temps and "being out" in her third cycle, she ended up pregnant that same cycle. Do what works for you and what makes you feel better about ttc. I've tried both ways and feel happier charting, doing opks etc.

Also if you want a quick sperm analysis look at Create Fertility online. It's only £99 which I think is pretty reasonable. That's where I'm sending DH soon.

for Hep and Skip. I know what you're going through. It sucks! xx

Thanks Alexia and yea, you guys are right. Its easy to say chill out, but much much harder to do. I guess its not really about trickery, so much as learning to re-wire our brains when they are obsessing about something. Its not easy, and takes time - and I'm nowhere near there yet - but I am trying. Jem sounds like you are doing all the right things, and even if it doesn't help you stress less about ttc at least it will help with job stress. I STUPIDLY came across the grads thread and had a peek (Miley just had her baby, old timey folk!) but it made me lose my zen completely - I don't recommend it.

I do keep reading and wanting to pop in and say keep on trucking (fucking?!) You guys but it feels really patronising and I don't mean it to be! I'm still here shaking my metaphorical pom poms for you all.

And I agree about the stress/breathing deep/letting go somewhat. Your body does what you least expect it to and is MOST frustrating when you want it to behave. It's bloody horrible. I was convinced still am that I have a hormone imbalance, I had super long cycles (6/7 week a pop) and really high natural levels of lh, so never really knew when/if I was ovulating. It happened when I was so sure I was out because of one thing and another.

Eat cake, drink wine, and shout about it because you deserve to. Bastard AF.

Much love xxx 🍸🍦

Miley had a baby omg that's amazing. There are more babies on the grads thread then?

Hi starky glad all good with you. I appreciate being cheered on.

I think it's a lot down to luck who falls quickly and who takes ages. Just got to keep trucking, as you say.

Sorry if I was a bit ranty before

It wasn't ranty London - we are totally there with you on the stress point!

The advice from Prof Robert Winston is to don't stress and have lots of enjoyable sex to maximise your chances of conceiving.

don't however think of Robert Winston not sure that helps.

just checked with gynae, and even though i'm spotting, as long as I am not passing any "products" I can still go in for the surgery on friday.

not sure what the products will look/be like, but I assume I will know if it happens.

TMI alert....

its just like spotting before AF, just a browner shade of red. And nothing that the thinnest pantyliners can't cope with.

hello starky !
give my best to miley . I'm not upto revisiting the grads list yet.

pfft jem call that a rant?

I do want to get back to exercise next week. my plan is to do the c25k which is 3 short sessions a week, plus one yoga or pilates class. I was all up for c25k, and then I got my bfp and thought i shouldn't start then.

The c25k is great, Hep. My husband and I started doing it a few months back. I've knocked it on the head now, but I was so surprised at how much I enjoyed it - I'm actually missing it a bit . It's amazing how well it works: when we started, I could barely manage a minute without dying. Just before my bfp, I'd been managing eight-minute stretches at a time. I was still a fair way from the 5K, but I could see the potential!

You're doing so well hep Hang on in there.

Sorry for AF jem Rant away, this is what we're here for! We all know how you feel...

Mikey's had her baby???? Where has time gone??? I think I'm going to keep away from the grads thread atm. I love knowing it's all going well for everyone, but also feel a bit left behind!!!

Hello ladies!

I'm a MN newbie and I'm terrible with facebook so wasn't sure if this would be my thing but from this thread I couldn't have found a more supportive and understanding group. About me:

Age: 28

TTC #1 for 9 months

AF due 16/9 but i think it's here early. it's normally bang on time or late so had hopes it was implantation spotting but that's looking more and more doubtful.

Really thought this month might be the one (had nausea and everything). The uncertainty is really getting to me so am going to look into some private fertility tests - any advice?

Hep - thinking of you

I can't believe miley has had her baby. It makes me feel old. Old I the way that I've been on mn for almost a year and this thread for ages and still trucking away.

jem I also found it impossible to just 'let go' and stop trying until both me and dh found out we've got fertility issues. Now I'm like f* it we aren't 'trying' anymore and are waiting for out fertility referral. Been this way for about 3 cycles and the trying not to try method still hasn't worked, so it's not the answer for everyone.

Hugs hep