TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided - all welcome! #makeithappen

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!
Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome

Business... nearly all my travel is business.
Of course I will let you all know about the Hycosy

BTW have any of you lovely ladies had one? What should I expect?

Itchiness continues... it is so wierd on feet I now have bite marks ... but my palms and other itchy areas do not... what can it be?????? The bites have only just surfaced - what are they flea bites? Bedbugs???

Had a bit if a low patch earlier when I realised I would have been 7 months preggers round about now

Look away now if you do not want to see my bites!!!

kwick I had one last year. I nearly passed out in the parking lot afterwards. Bad cramps and I got really dizzy. I just met with my new re yesterday and he wants to repeat it. Guess my old doc didn't write it up in his file. Great. And this time he is using some kind of foam. The positive side is it seems like a lot of women get pregnant after they have one. Who knows if that's a real thing. I will be taking pain meds prior to the procedure. I hope you have a WAY better experience than I did.

I don't know what your bites/rash are from. That sucks.

Karen - sorry about your dog It's so tough to lose a loved pet.

Kwick - my Hycosy was fine. I took an ibuprofen before it, made use of a slow exhale and found it to be manageable discomfort. Very similar to IUI in terms of speculum, thread catheter through cervix, then it's just the added thing of the feeling of pressure as the saline/dye goes through the tubes. I was happy and chatting with the dr and nurse throughout mine. If your IUIs are usually not painful this will most likely be OK too.

I know what you mean about the MC. I would have been due at the end of November and that does keep occurring to me every couple of days.

I wish i was more convinced by this pregnancy but for some reason I don't feel very confident about it. I don't feel as nauseous as last time

Kwick - I don't think they're bedbug bites (as I think they're in rows of three and smaller).

Otherwise no idea. Pharmacy may well be able to advise.

Having had quite a few flea bites-perks of doing home visits for my job(yay) they look like flea bites but that wouldn't explain why you would have itchy hands

Woah 7months :( oh kwick must be so tough.
Ooh taydex must be nearly ready to pop

My sister baby is breach,they are going to attempt to turn him again tomorrow but if not she is booked in for a c-section
My otherbest friend txt me on wed to say she is 3/12 pregnant......sooooo many babies around
How are you getting on shoes when is your scan?
Jeez anyone else feeling chilly?my hands are struggling with the cold brrr

Hi ladies

I’ve continued following the thread but haven’t posted mainly because as an idiot/brand new forum member I couldn’t work out how to do the name in bold thing When I mentioned this to my partner she thought I was silly and was obviously able to immediately tell me how to do it!

Karen I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. He looked gorgeous. I bet that in your position you offer lots of advice about there being nothing that could be done but I’m sure that doesn’t make it any easier.

Kwick You poor lady! Hopefully it will disappear as suddenly and mysteriously as it appeared. Failing that the only answer it to go for a full body replacement and start again. Remember to be extra kind to yourself.

Pickle Welldone on the first appointment. I envy how organised you are.

Stork How exciting! Fingers firmly crossed.

We had our first IUI earlier this week! Choosing a donor and the IUI itself wasn’t really what we expecting though. We took the week off and have been doing lots to distract ourselves but we’re both back at work tomorrow and I’m sure the rest of the TWW will be much more difficult!

Wow 2bobs how exciting!! How was it different? (selfishly trying to gather as much info as possible for what to expect)
I did see the probe for the TV scan which has got me a bit scared, I know it isn't that huge but to me It looks huge and will be dreading that part of it all!!!
When is your tww up? Hope work manages to distract you as much as poss :)

Hi ladies.

Feeling a bit down today as it's two years today since I had miscarriage. Not sure if I've told you previously about my miscarriage, but you know now!

Kwick how irritating that you're still struggling with itchiness/bites! I have no idea what they could be. As Shoes said, maybe a pharmacist will be able to tell you? If not I'd definitely suggest the doctors for some ointment/cream... You must be pulling your hair out!

Shoes did you have a nice holiday? How's things your end?

Pickle - crikey, you ARE surrounded by babies!! Soon it'll be yours .

Karen how are you feeling?

I have decided to do research into more clinics around my area... I've looked previously but now I've definitely decided to go ahead with IUI/treatment in January I've decided to look in detail. Birmingham Womans Fertility Clinic prices are SO cheap!! From what I can gather it's £400 for donor sperm and £550 for unmediated IUI and £600 for medicated...! Only glitch is they need a referral from your GP even if you're a private patient. So I know what I'll be doing in the next few weeks!

I'm off to Stratford tomorrow as mine and mums friend has just found out her partner is cheating on her - and she's left holding their three month old, whilst he's swanning off doing whatever he wants. I feel so bad for her, so plan to take a few days off work and stay with her. Bless her heart.

Hope you're all doing okay ❤️

Thanks Pickle. Test date is 10th October. One of the things that was different to our expectations was the discussion prior to the actual procedure. We were expecting a full briefing and breakdown regarding sperm count, motility etc. Instead we were just told that the sample being used had around 2.7 million sperm which we thought was low (I’ve read and watched such a mix of stuff from different countries and for couples not using donors but with male fertility issues, I’m actually lost on whether this was low or not) but that was it –there wasn’t any talk about whether that was good/bad/just about acceptable and there was no mention of anything about motility etc. We appreciate that we need to trust in them and that they’re experts but in my work role I’m always conscious of the need to provide appropriate information and demystify procedures that ‘clients’ are unfamiliar with. It just felt off to me and although I’m usually happy to question or challenge, my partner is a little less forward which is definitely exacerbated when naked from the waist down! Any suggestions as to whether 2.7 million is low or whether further details are usually shared?

Choosing the donor wasn’t quite what we’d been expecting either. I know that we’re all at different stages so I was hoping to tap in to the collective experience of the group whether it’s first-hand experience or research that you’ve come across? In terms of the profiles it seemed that they varied so much that maybe the donors hadn’t received much guidance. In the later life messages for children there was frequent use of presumptions about two parent families and a real lean towards heteronormative language referring to ‘mum and dad’ and ‘parents’ which didn’t take account of single parents or same sex couples. I was also a bit disappointed that a good degree of the medical history is based purely on self-reporting (E.G. family history life threatening conditions that hadn’t impacted on their health to date or mental health issues) when I asked if there was any attempt at external verification I was told not to worry as a child could later ‘sue’ if the donor had lied???

Yikes,which clinic are you with?
When I went to seminar at London women's clinic they said how thorough the testing was, and I know they have to check via blood tests a lot of nasties but suppose equally these people don't get paid much to donate so what benefit would they get to lie.
I too would have wanted more info,just because they do it all the time doesn't mean everyone is as relaxed and understands it like they do. It's supposed to be "informed" consent and if you don't have the information how can you consent???

Oh sorry to hear that caution must be very hard emotionally

Lots of love everyone xx

There are the blood tests etc that they go through but when it comes to things that wouldn't show up through such testing its dependent on self reporting- for example a history of mental health issues. In my work role we verify as much as possible and have thorough medicals so maybe that effected my expectations. I can understand why the limits are there but I felt it was a reasonable question to ask what amount of info was self reported and what was verified and the response of not to worry because the child could sue surprised me. I'm probably coming across as quite critical but I'm not meaning to, I was just surprised.

No I totally get it, I'm in health care and do minor operations as well as other treatments so totally would be thinking the same as you with regards to the info they discuss. But then as a health care professional I also make an awful patient because I expect a certain level which don't always get.

pickle I am stood at bus stop deeply regretting I did not wear a coat!!! So cold!

2bobs welcome back!! Best of puck on TWOT!!

Sorry to hear about your MC caution

2bobs my clinic usually say something about quantity if sperm, which I then promptly forget as I lie back and think of England!
I know very little about my donor apart from eye colour, hair colour and ethnicity... I think I prefer that but may purchase more info if I get upduffed.
What bank are you using?

Have had to get on "wrong" bus to get out of cold!!

So random/palm itchiness was not there yesterday.. bites still itch. Am praying not bed bugs... well at least not from my bed - I got bites before I went to bed on Friday after being a week away. Think they are flea bites from dangerous looking dog upstairs....

Treated myself to a Dr Organic manuka honey rescue cream which is soothing on itchy parts whilst being an amazeballs night cream! Also treated myself to some Lush stuff - had a lovely bath last night from the honey bath bomb. Probably last bath for a while due to hycosy.

Oops 2bobs puck should read luck!

Oops 2bobs puck should read luck!

If swear words cause offence, please look away now.
Just had Hycosy. Fuck, shit, wank, bollocks that was painful. So much rummaging - wish I had taken a paracetamol before hand, have just downed 1000mg.
Speculum, then catheter inserted, speculum removed (I rejoice), scanner inserted (I swear profusely). Worst bit was just after - felt like my womble was going to leave my body.
Left tube all ok. Right tube - Dr not sure, will ring if she has bad news. Apparently an egg from left (remaining ovary) could make its way to right tube
In taxi going home.

Crappy kwick. I'm sorry it was so painful. I'm having one next Tuesday. Hope the pain goes away. I think I was pretty painful for just the morning. Hugs.

karen why are you having 2??? I am feeling much better now... but never want to do that again!!!

I had one last year. I get the feeling my new re doesn't trust my old one. And my file didn't have any notes from my previous hycosy. This time he is injecting something called exem foam. Awesome. I have to work before and after the procedure. Can't wait.

Glad ur feeling better kwick it sounded awful.
Had my surgery check up, he's really pleased with it and only have to have one more but the scar needs to be longer so has a better contour and sorts out the puckering. Will be one of the best Xmas presents ever when that's all sorted

FFS karen that is terrible - how can they not have records of it? I would definitely not have been able to work after... all I could do to get home.

pickle so does this mean once last procedure done you can ask crazy handsome Dr out for a drink

Bloody left my ipad at home - and I am off to Brussels this pm...
Thank God I have my kindle. Had planned to catch up on eastenders on train later may have to work now

Awe kwick unfortunately he is married with babies so alas no... when I went for my baby appt they said that the consultant there and him were good buddies and how highly they think of each other which is nice cos I trust my current consultant massively so if he thinks they are good then they are likely good :)
1week no pill and no AF-hoping I get around 4weeks with nothing,dreading the thought of it!!!!

Oh bad luck pickle
BTW did you go to that Alternative Family thing?

Have arrived to Brussels... itchiness is back with a vengance... frickerty fcuk!

Hi all,

Sorry for being so quiet lately. I've been having a hard time dealing with the loss of my dog. Thought I'd let everyone know what has been going on. I met with my new re last week. I was kind of in a fog, and didn't get as much out of it as I hoped. But I'm not really emotionally in a good spot right now, so I wasn't too concerned. He wants to repeat my saline sono, and will be using something called exem foam. I'm not looking forward to it, especially because I will have to work after it, and I'm not sure how much pain I will be in. I guess I have to meet with a nurse who will be my case worker. Waste of time in my opinion. I feel like flying to shoes' clinic to just get it done. Lol. I'm going to mention it on Tuesday at my test. I'm tired of wasting time because of paper work. That's really it. I'm approaching my projected due date from my mmc and it pops into my mind every now and then. You aren't alone caution.
Welcome back 2bobs. I hope you get your positive.

Kwick, I really hope this rash thing goes away soon. I can't believe how much travelling you do. I'm jealous and yet at the same time just thinking about it exhausts me.

Shoes how are you? Feeling ok?

Pickle I'm glad you are getting the surgeries all sorted out. :)

Hope everyone else is well. I'm slowly crawling out of the dark. It's thanksgiving weekend this coming weekend. I'm looking forward to an extra day off.

karen really sorry that all the "paperwork" is delaying things.... how frustrating!!! You are in Canada right? Do you have the option of going somewhere else for treatment or is it cost prohibitive?
I used to have a dog, Floss, and he died suddenly when I was a teenager and he was only 6. He had eaten rat poison and the vet (and we) did not realise in time. I am still sad to this day... I still sometimes dream of him. He was so loved and I take comfort in the fact that he knew it and he was the centre of the family.
Don't underestimate the grieving process and please allow yourself to go through it. Hugs and much love