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Original poster

Coggy's Catch Up........

803 replies

coggy · 12/01/2007 19:38

It seems FOREVER ago that I was properly on MN and obssessively ttc!
Only 2 1/2 months ago but alot has happened in that time I expect (no.....sadly no bfp from me yet!!!)
I guess that Debbsy has had her Bibsy and maybe Peachy too......BooBoo next month.....lots of other BFPs??????
Natty, MrsMc and Trace have kept me with some of the news on here.

Here's a quick catch-up with me and what is happening.....
I am CD25 of a usual 26/27 day cycle with all the classic AF signs.....cramps, tiredness, wind etc. etc. (It's nice to be back!! )
I am starting IUI this next cycle so I am only a couple of days away from that and VERY excited and VERY nervous about jabbing myself too!
I figured as well as catching up with my old ttc buddies I could also moan and groan merrily away about it all on this thread and (hopefully) get a little bit of (much needed) sympathy at the same time!!!

I am SUCH a wimp really!!!!
Roll on CD1......

OP posts:
Egg · 23/02/2008 13:37

Any news?

Original poster
coggy · 23/02/2008 14:01

Very bad cramps this morning but I decided to do another test if AF hadn't come in the night properly.
Had a fair amount of blood so didn't bother testing, put in a super tampax (I guess I'm going to need it this month!) and then not much has happened since.

Probably because I am taking progesterone my body is confused about starting or not starting. MOST frustrating because now I keep hoping...maybe I'll test tomorrow am if AF still light...could have kept one???

Am trying to kid myself still.....told you I was ridiculously positive....even when it all looks hopeless.....there's still a glimmer!!!
Although probably not!!!
Aaaarrrgh!!

OP posts:
Original poster
coggy · 23/02/2008 14:02

And thank you for keeping me company in these last few painful days.....I really am appreciating it Egg.
X

OP posts:
manuka · 23/02/2008 14:36

I think you should test tomoro anyway regardless of bleeding just to put your mind at rest. I have 2 friends who had normal monthly periods throughout pregnancy and they weren't light bleeds. I also used to treat one woman who had a period that lasted for 7 weeks medium flow. She was fobbed off by doctors for first few weeks then finally at 7 weeks they discovered she was pregnant. couldn't explain bleeding but it stopped soon after and she had her baby.
I'm so sorry you're having a shit time with all this. I feel it as if you were someone I know really well. You were so kind to me when I first arrived on mumsnet full of pnd and when you told me about your darling son I cried because I couldn't imagine how you coped with that.
If I wasn't so terribly afraid of pregnancy and birth I would be a surrogate for you (assuming I can even get pregnant again which is unlikely!) but I really wish I could do that for you.
You know my aunty couldn't have children so she adopted 2 boys and then she got pregnant and had 2 girls! Worth a thought maybe??

manuka · 23/02/2008 14:45

God I really hope that last suggestion doesn't come accross as insensitive?? I just thought you are such a lovely kind woman and there are so many children who would love to have a mum like you that perhaps it was worth thinking about. Anyway I'm really sorry if it pissed you off. I really do care about how dissapointed you're feeling right now and I wish I could help you. x

Egg · 23/02/2008 15:56

Ooh well good news it still hasn't arrived properly! I thought of you last night while I wanted to cry because my two wouldn't go to sleep and thought "pull yourself together Egg, count yourself v lucky that they are here keeping you awake" and it worked and I didn't care that I wanted to go back to bed.....

I second what manuka said. I would def test tomorrow if no proper bleeding.

With my first pg with DS1, as I said it took 6 weeks before I got a positive test. Every few days when AF still had not arrived I did a test, and every time it was negative I had a few (or more) drinks to drown my sorrows. I went to a wedding when AF was a week late, did a test the night before (still neg), took loads of super max tampax with me, drank myself silly and STILL no AF. Finally got a positive on CD42! Your super tampax sentence reminded me of that.

Off out all day tomorrow to sunny London but will be checking in before I go .

There's ALWAYS still a glimmer!

Original poster
coggy · 23/02/2008 19:00

manuka.....I'm not at all upset by what you've said...it's all very kind andmuch appreciated, thank you.
X

We are thinking of adopting, we actually had an appointment booked for several months but then it went and clashed with the very day that I had egg retrival (which we took to be a good sign!!). We will persue that route if nothing comes of this.

I will definitely do another test tomorrow morning anyway I think...only had one glass of wine last night and still taking my progesterone until I know FOR SURE.

Had red bleeding today but still quite light, so I suppose you never know, one embryo may be hanging in there?

I do hope so!

I'll try to get on reasonably early tomorrow so you can get off Egg!!!!!
I hope your beautiful twins sleep better tonight (all three of your children are just gorgeous...I had a little look earlier)

OP posts:
Egg · 24/02/2008 08:42

I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaiting......

I was also thinking in the night that maybe one will stick and one wont.

Fingers still crossed.

Original poster
coggy · 24/02/2008 09:23

Sorry Egg....I forget that you need to get up earlier with LOs!!! LOL....8am is very early to me!!!!

AF came very heavily in the night so I didn't need to test this morning (plus the fact I couldn't quite get myself together enough to do one at 5am when I needed to sort myself out!)

Shame it's not better news for you to take to London with you.

Hope the sun is still shining up there.

OP posts:
cedar12 · 24/02/2008 09:46

So sorry Coggy

manuka · 24/02/2008 14:10

Oh Coggy I'm so very sorry. I can't imagine how stressfull not just IVF but all the other things you've gone through ttc. You must be feeling pretty battered emotionally? If I knew you in RL I would give you a lovely aromatherapy massage in essential oil of rose. Then a trip to Harrogate Turkish Baths followed by tea and cakes at Betty's.
I had such a horrible time with pnd and felt no love for dd at first. Hearing your story made me look at my life differently and helped me to think better thoughts about dd and now I love her. I wish I could help you too.

Booboobedoo · 24/02/2008 18:51

So sorry cogs. Just came on to check - really rotten news.

Well, if you decide to adopt, there's one lucky child waiting out there!

Egg · 24/02/2008 19:05

Oh bollocks. Didn't see message this morning. Just got back and checked. Must be heartbreaking for you as I don't even know you and I am sad. It was hard enough for me each month when I was ttc DS1 but I had not been through any of what you have. Am glad you are also considering the adoption route, I found reading Suejones's blog so heartwarming when she was bringing lovely Daniel home. Do you have a set amount of IVF tries you will do?

Prob not back on today as been driving for hours and need some sleep before the night ahead but will be back online tomorrow.

Sexonlegs · 25/02/2008 08:18

Oh Coggy, so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you. xx

RahRah1 · 25/02/2008 09:41

Hi Coggy, so sorry... I have been thinking of you loads...
I have not gone through IVF yet, but understand some of what you are going through. Always here to talk...

All my Love
Rah XXXXX

Original poster
coggy · 25/02/2008 20:37

Well I did an official test yesterday am even though I knew that there was no point but I didn't want to stop taking my progesterone tablets if there was stuill a tiny chance...but no....definitely a BFN.

My heavy AF disappeared almost as soon as it arrived and I'm still only just on a trickly (TMI I know!!!) but I think that's due to the progesterone trying to stop it...so I haven't taken any tonight....I expect a horrible, heavy and painful couple of AF days ahead!

Feel surprisingly okay though....definitely in denial!

OP posts:
peachygirl · 25/02/2008 20:39
Sad
Sexonlegs · 25/02/2008 21:17

[unfair] xx

manuka · 26/02/2008 13:51

Wish I could say something that would help. x

Egg · 26/02/2008 14:47

Coggy how are you feeling today? Been thinking about you a lot. Hope AF is not too ragingly painful and horrid, although imagine it is emotional pain that is worse .

Original poster
coggy · 26/02/2008 17:00

AF still not very heavy but getting more so I think. Wish it would just hurry up and get on with it....not sure how long it takes for the progesterone to get out of my body??

Phoned the clinic about an hour ago to let them know and had a pleasant surprise that a self-funded cycle of IVF was only £3,000 rather then the 5 or 6 I thought it was.
It's still a hell of a lot of money...but....half of what I thought so I guess it's given me a bit of hope for the future. I think the most depressing thing about this treatment not working was the finallity of it all. Now that I know that it isn't necessarily final...it's not so bad!!!!!

I can see why people would get addicted to plastic surgery.....think I may get addicted to IVF!!!!

Or maybe not!

Think I'm going a little loopy!!!

But at least I'm positive and cheerful!

OP posts:
Egg · 26/02/2008 18:38

I saw a prog a year or so ago where a couple were going for their FOURTEENTH cycle of IVF. I remember thinking "bloody hell, just give up now and call it a day" as I couldn't believe they were putting themselves through it so many times. BUT IT WORKED ON THE FOURTEENTH GO!!!

Obviously yours will be the second go...

Do you not get any cycles free? Or was this last one it? I would have thought you would surely quality given your history. Not sure how it works mind you.

Original poster
coggy · 27/02/2008 10:13

Yes this last go was a freebie!
Only get one where we are...but one is better than none.

I think officially I wouldn't have been eligable for any on the NHS as I have conceived naturally, had a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child (he died because of a knot in his cord rather then any illness or problem)...so I do appreciate the clinic giving me a go.

We will see what happens I suppose.
Got an adoption meeting hopefully in a couple of weeks time and then my follow-up appointment in 3 or 4 weeks....so I have some 'life-lines' left.

OP posts:
manuka · 27/02/2008 16:09

Coggy you will make a wonderful mother no matter how your child arrives. It makes no difference whether its grown in your body or in someone elses it will be your child and it will be extremely fortunate to have you as a mum.

Booboobedoo · 27/02/2008 19:48

Coggy, I am constantly surprised and inspired by your up-beat-ness (that's not a word, but you know what I mean).

Glad that another IVF cycle could be a possibility for you.

I've been thinking about adoption recently. So many children desperately in need of a family to love them. We've been looking into it, so if you do decide to go down that road, I may be travelling it with you.