We are the Viroid Warriors! We are practising our PMAs and stockpiling the rare FRERs, come join us for the continued BFP boom...it's only bloody JS 60!!!

[stumblymonkey]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like 'something' = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 59 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2579958-We-have-enjoyed-jizzidents-and-jizznamis-We-are-fans-of-having-a-rummage-and-we-are-getting-all-the-baby-juice-we-can-to-keep-the-bfp-boom-going-Join-us-in-JS-59" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2582188-Weve-got-newbies-to-cheer-us-on-the-February-Warm-Up-is-complete-after-waiting-nine-long-months-its-only-bloody-time-for-March-Madness-Welcome-to-JS-thread-no-46" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Morning viroids - I'm still lurking. Thanks for thinking of me Corgi and I hope you're well. Sort-of glad AF pitched up for so you know where you are. I'm still in WTF central, six weeks down the line. Where are you at Kwick?

Ain, it's good to hear from you. YANBU, maybe something's gone off at work and made him grumpy?

Cori - if it's like that every time, might he need to see his GP? But a turkey baster might be an option...

Hey all, haven't been on here much lately, tbh I've been feeling pretty low since the witch arrived last week. It's our wedding anniversary this week, so a year since we decided to ttc & I came off the pill, really thought I'd at least by preggers by now. So I've been trying to take my mind off it, no tracking or anything, & I think I'm a little less stressed. Have a GP appt tomorrow about this damned hayfever, but I think I might just mention about ttc & take it from there. Head on holidays on Wed, so looking forward to a week in the sun relaxing.

Hope everyone is doing OK.

Sadly kwick we can't get iui on the NHS as I have children from a previous relationship but at around a thousand pounds I'm beginning to think it might just because worth a go if our problem is more geography than anything else! as the official would be four thousand!

Damn auto correct ivf not official!?!?!?!

chat so good to hear from you!
I am just starting week 5 post MC (but when do you count from?), still no af!!!! Insane on the membrane!!!

coribeth IUI defo worth a try. I have not done the sums as I am too damned scarred but I think my IVF was around 12k all in... Now you know why I have remortgaged!

I know it's criminal what it costs I fortunately live near a very good centre in the north west so although expensive compared to other clinics 4k all in is pretty reasonable! if you have access to 4k can understand why people go abroad I would if I could but I just couldn't get enough flexibility in work to allow think I'm gonna struggle doing it in this country!

Yes I agree coribeth going abroad just adds one more variable that I would prefer to avoid even though I spend most if my time abroad it seems

Morning viroids

I am right in packing chaos at the moment as we pick up the keys to the new house tomorrow and properly move in on Thursday.

I am beyond excited. I have a 'lady cave' in which to do sewing, read novels on a chaise longue and sip tea from vintage tea cups and snigger every time I say Lady Cave as it sounds like a vagina

So it will be a new chapter...new house and hopefully new job!

Grievance outcome came last week....incredibly poor response letter with misrepresentations, misquotes, sentences that stopped mid-way and didn't even address the most important points raised. Plus my line manager has lied about a conversation we had! Have appealed. Super proud of my eight page with additional appendices appeal letter which quotes relevant case law and everyfink. Kwick: you'll be relieved to know that said outcome letter was written by a manager, not HR

No news on TTC front as waiting to move house and get a job (contract as going independent). Have an interview today for a contract and a few more irons in fires.

Will now proceed to read through what I've missed and will check back in later...

stumbly I am super proud of you but very embarassed for you exHR that should have checked letter thoroughly before it was sent
I hope you told ex-boss: "liar, liar, your pants are on fire"
Joking aside hope you get something on appeal.
Teeheehee: ladycave viroids a new fanjo name has been born.

So we have:
Ladycave
Fanjo
Foof
Vajayjay
Lady Garden
Chichi
What am I missing?

Kwick & Cori those prices are eye watering

Stumbly yay for the new house, good luck or the interview & well done on the response letter.

So had a chat with GP this morning about my apparent inability to get upduffed. I may have slightly exaggerated the length of time we've been ttc, but when she said they like couples to be trying for 18 months before they start looking into things, I was very glad I'd exaggerated. I'm booked in for day 21 bloods, TFT, & rubella check, & have to see GP again to discuss results when they come back. Hubby has to arrange for semen analysis too. She said that based on my age, if nothing has happened by end of the summer, she'll be happy to refer me on to fertility clinic then. Feels like a weight off my shoulders to have the ball rolling

Btw, ladycave is my fave so far

That is really encouraging angel
What is TFT?

IUI is a lot cheaper £850 per treatment (and for me extra for the magic potion). The natural IVF protocol I am following next time will be slightly cheaper than the 12k due to less drugs (spent over 3k on those alone last time) & hopefully I do not need another hysteroscopy (£1800) plus no need for a dummy egg transfer either (£500).
WORTH EVERY PENNY

Sun not shinning in Paris... Maybe Brussels which is tonight's destination.

It's thyroid function test Kwick, I have underactive thyroid. Levels were excellent (even for ttc) when they were checked about 6 months ago, but doesn't hurt to have them checked again while I'm there. Hope the sun is shining for you in Brussels.

I'm all packed now for my hols & sitting with feet up enjoying a glass of white. Hope to see some bfps on my return

angel have a grrrrrreat holiday! Hope you see lots of sun (definitely helps me to feel positive).
I take thyroxine - for under/over active thyroid - I am really embarassed to say I do not know which.
This is my 5th week of waiting for nhs retest results.... Next time I will just pay clinic for test where I get the results the same day the bloods are taken!

Hello Viriods!

Apologies I have been super absent, I don't know how I feel about anything so I haven't said much. I have been lurking though, I like to see how you all are

Kwick - Amazing allotment work, my DH would be very impressed, he loves his veg patches.

Angel Good you feel you are getting somewhere. I hope by now you are thoroughly enjoying your holiday feeling more relaxed.

Stumbly Great news on the house, and the lady cave . And bloody great work on your new job prospects and your appeal letter. You are unstoppable!

My work decided to dock my pay for the time I was signed off post MC, even though it goes against what it says in my contract. They are idiots, HR and Payroll are run out of head office in Canada and they pay no regard to the different contracts and sometimes even no regard to the employment laws in other countries. If I didn't love the people I work with day to day I would have gone ages ago. I have picked up the baton to speak to UK HR person about these concerns as others in the UK are worried too and I am worried about my friend who is about to go off on maternity - she is much less brave than me with this stuff and I do not want her to have the awful experience I did.

Chat & Kwick I am in WTF central too (I like this phrase ). Only just over 4 weeks since the procedure and I know from experience it could be around 6 weeks before I see AF but this doesn't stop me wanting to PO all the S! I did fortunately get a BFN a week ago so I know the hormones went away at least after the mc. And I did get a load of ewcm about 9 days ago which I wasn't expecting as my WTF cycles are usually annovulatory. I think I may need many many hooyahs to stop the crazy.

Kwick I called my NHS clinic yesterday to try and get bloods booked before my RMC appointment (not til 4th of July ) and was actually put through to the Dr who gave me my results on the phone and had a good chat with me. Maybe worth giving them a call to chase?

Anyway, results were no abnormalities in the chromosomes of the baby and nothing else abnormal so no clear reason for the miscarriage. I don't think the tests are as exhaustive as some private ones but they are what was done so we have to accept that. I have a few other bloods to be done but it is unlikely they will come back with anything. So, it is all inconclusive. I don't know what to think really, great we don't necessarily have to have loads of drugs or procedures to have a successful pregnancy, but tough knowing we may go through it again and again with no understanding of why. My instinct is saying just keep going for it and it'll happen eventually so that's what we'll do, I hope it works.

Hi Cats, I've been lurking but not posting too. I'm in the same position as you regarding RMC testing, I've had all the NHS tests except chromosomal ones (due to a cock-up at the EPAU, grrr), and they've all come back negative. It's so frustrating not knowing why our miscarriages happened but like you, me and DH have decided to keep on trying and hope for the best. Also sorry your work has been so pants about miscarriage sick pay, well done for sticking up for yourself, fx your HR peeps are reasonable.

JSers, I'm not sure if I'm doing a lemon or a kitten at the moment, cycles are still out of whack following MC so may have just unintentionally tested way too early (yesterday) and got an evap line or a very faint bfp. Either way, I'm freaking out. Doing another test with fmu tomorrow morning.

cats I missed you. Sorry you are still in WTF central - moi aussi.
When I said blood tests I meant that on day I had MC confirned I went to UCH blood testing clinic as I need to re-test thyroid.
The EPU did say they would test my MC but I have no idea how to get results... Maybe I will just ring up and enquire.

mimi gx it us a bfp... I hope you have a FRER to hand (which BTW are apparently BOGOF at Boots right now!!!)

mimi I hope it's a bfp. I have my gx for you.

Just read that feathered did a baby on the grads fred.

Thanks Kwick and Ain, I don't know how long this attempt is going to last but it looks like I'm pregnant for now . The older test does have a line on it, but it's a bit of a squinter.

Well done mimi!!!!
Now I will have none of that, it needs to be PMA all the way:
I am pregnant
I am nuturing a lovely healthy baby
I am in perfect time

Kwick thanks for the positive vibes, now if I could just use that PMA to get the brown spotting to f off would be good. Anyhow I am fully stocked up on FRERs, got 4 tests on bogof at Boots and the 2 I'd already ordered from Amazon will arrive on Wednesday .

Oh Mimi that is exciting and nerve-racking all at once. Gx for a sticky one and the spotting going away.

Ahhhh Kwick I misunderstood. Call to chase anyway though, I know sometimes it gets you nowhere but maybe you'll get somewhere.

I am back to CD1, and whilst that is disappointing, I never thought we'd conceive in a wtf cycle. So, this is a new start, I'm going with my instincts and trying again with a positive attitude. you may need to remind me of this in the twot

cats best of luck in new bright and shiny cycle.
I am starting week 6 post MC and still no sign of AF. Is this normal????? I just want to get on with it!!

Kwick it took me 7 wks to have my first post-mc AF, anything is normal in the wtf cycle. Gx she won't be too much longer.

Thanks Cats, had half convinced myself I was having another chemical pregnancy so have poas-ing every two days. I think I might be able to stop that now