I am unsure who the father of my unborn child is! Please help!!

[soph1995]

I have been on and off with my ex boyfriend for 2 years, and recently he came down for his birthday on the 31st Jan 2016, he stayed until the night of the 5th of Feb. Through the week we was having sex until he left on the night of the 5th of Feb... My last period began I believe between the 20th-25th of Jan and lasted 5 days (as it usually does, and I am usually around the same time every month)
For some reason, I felt automatically I was pregnant! so I took a test on the 8th and it was negative...
Me and my ex have had a very complicated relationship and long story short I began seeing someone else, sooner than I expected me and this new guy had sex for the first time on the 19th of Feb (I believe he didnt ejaculate), and again multiple times on the 22nd of Feb. On the night of the 19th of Feb I couldnt sleep properly and felt very sick, I thought this was because I felt guilty because I was with someone else and not my ex who I dont believe I was completely over. I then felt sick on the Saturday night and then the Sunday 21st I felt sick all day, unable to eat properly and even the smell of things was making me feel sick - however, I thought this was due to a mussel I ate on friday night because I couldnt even swallow it because it tasted funny - so I thought I possibly had mild food poisoning. That week between the 22nd and the 29th I was feeling sick all week, not able to eat many things, and when I did eat I was starving and then felt unbelievably sick! I took a test probably on the 23rd and it was negative again, but i was under the impression it could because it was still kind of before my missed period. On the Saturday the 27th I took two pregnancy tests and it was positive.
Now on the 7th of March I have had a scan and they've told me I was 3 weeks pregnant; and on the scan they said all they could see was the yolk sac. There was a black section and then a tiny spec within that when I saw the scan, and there was no heartbeat or anything yet.

Basically, I really do not know who the father would be?!
Can anyone help please? And can no one judge me, I didnt plan for things to be this way! Please HELP!

She said it was???

The dating from the scan is unlikely to be exact so that's why it's come up with a day when you didn't have sex. If your cycles are around 4 weeks then I would say it's the first guy's. You would have been already due or overdue your next period on the 19th Feb.

Reeeeeeeaaaaad the thread

The scan was at the abortion clinic. She is talking about the referral!!!

It was a scan pre-termination, not a dating scan. That's the difference. And it's a big difference.

As for berating her for wasting her GP's time, it's entirely appropriate to talk to a medical professional to resolve confusion over something deeply important to you. It doesn't sound like her GP minded.

I can't deal with this thread anymore, I have offered my support via private message . I'm quite new to mumsnet-is it possible to block individual users? Lots of nasty vultures on here!

I have had two external scans which showed up a five week egg sac so conceived three weeks previously. Iv also had three internal at that stage.

So it is possible to have an external scan at five weeks and see the egg sac. There was no heartbeat in any except one at that stage.

I am also quite shocked at the messages on here. This is a real person with a real problem. Just because something doesn't make sense to YOU doesn't mean it isn't true. You do not have every bit of information about everything from everywhere. We all, every one of us, only have the information which we have formed, taken, deduced, from our own experiences of the world. I have had a scan, in a clinic, at 5 weeks that showed the embryo and allowed them to give a rough estimate of the age of said embryo. They do not share a report with you, they do not show you the screen, and you are not in a fit state at that point to ask all the questions you might have or need to know. Going back to the doctor is perfectly legitimate at this stage, and in fact at any stage if you have concerns over a medical issue.

Maybe the OP said it was an NHS scan because she feared being judged and condemned. Maybe it doesn't matter as the impact on our lives is minuscule if not non existence but the impact of negative feelings to the OP could be substantial in their life. I hope I have not said anything to offend, but I was quite shocked by some of these comments and felt I had to say something.

iv just read the full thread and what a lot of disgusting comments to someone who is anxious and worried. Seriously to all the people ramming the contraception advice repeatedly down her throat despite her asking people to stop. That's like shutting the gate when the horse has bolted. she's pregnant now so enough is enough. Op, pm me if you like and I can advise you away from here.

Well, having the pregnancy confirmed by the GP doing a urine sample BEFORE the midwife booking appointment is very much standard procedure where I live.
So no, the OP is not 'lying' simply because her area has different procedure to others.
Move along.

Like I said OP, congratulations on your pregnancy. No baby is a 'mistake' and regardless of who the babies father is, I'm sure it will bring you much joy. Enjoy your pregnancy and brace yourself for the endless stream of shit and contradicting advice you're going to get for the next 18ish years. Doesn't really stop, this is just the beginning, you'll forever have people thinking they know your life (and your child) better than you do from now on.
Pinch of salt and all that

Some abortion clinics are funded by the NHS and you can self refer by calling them yourselves and providing your NHS number without the need to see GP. I know friends who have used them. They do not give you reports etc they are just there to do a job. Why on earth would they give someone an EDD when they are there with termination in mind? Also I've had plenty of early scans in pregnancy due to bleeding issues and every single time they have tried external first at 5 weeks. However I've got a tilted womb so had to have internal, but it is possible to see a sac at this point externally for some people. If it wasn't a scan to check viability (which it wasn't) they probably just saw the sac and considered it enough.

So many people jumping down this girls throat when she just comes across confused and asking for advice.

Congratulations op.

How are you op? I hope your getting some RL support with this. I would put paternity aside if I could, nothing you can do to find out before the baby is born anyway. I would let your ex know the score though.

One thing that is concerning though is why you didn't use any contraception for so long. This isn't a lecture BTW, I know you know how contraception works. Assuming no coercion (was there?) then it's a very very reckless thing to do. What's going on in your life to make you feel and behave like that?

Congratulations on your baby as well.

Oh for goodness sake, just leave it. The poor woman.

Congratulations OP

Concentrate on looking after yourself for now. There's plenty of time to find out who the father is. There are non-invasive DNA tests available before the baby is born, ask your midwife for advice.

Good luck.

Im unsure who the father of my unborn baby is

I had unprotected sex the Guy A on 1 Nov 2015 ..... and from 12 Nov 2015 I 've been having sex with Guy B my boyfriend almost everyday .... I found out I was 12 weeks pregnant in January and the ultrasound shows that the due date was 14 Aug 2016 and then it changed to 7 -17 Aug and that gave me an idea that guy B is the father.. im in my third trimester now and my ultrasounds shows that my due date is 1 Aug 2016 ... can someone please help me I cant even sleep how do I know who is the father

I don't think you can know without a DNA test, especially with the due date jumping around between scans. Please don't let it stress you out though as that's not good for you or baby. Does your current partner know that you aren't sure? I would just be up front with him and then you can find out later after the baby is born if you want to.

I didn't tell him I have doubts about him being the father cause I thought my due date was accurate and I didn't think it would change we are pretty excited now so I can't break the news now...
But I need to know which ultrasound is accurate

Well the dating scan is the one to go by I think, after that they are just growth scans I thought, but my 20wk scan didn't change my due date so I don't know.

I honestly don't think you should give this headspace at the moment, you can't find out so there is no cause to tie yourself in knots. When the baby is born you can if you chose have a dna test to compare to the man you believe to be baby's father.

Hi op.. You know who the baby's mum is and right now that's what is most important. I think you said you had family support (and that's great if you do). Also if you're still working towards your degree you may be able to get extra support at uni. Good luck with the pregnancy and with your bundle of joy when he or she arrives. x