I am unsure who the father of my unborn child is! Please help!!

[soph1995]

I have been on and off with my ex boyfriend for 2 years, and recently he came down for his birthday on the 31st Jan 2016, he stayed until the night of the 5th of Feb. Through the week we was having sex until he left on the night of the 5th of Feb... My last period began I believe between the 20th-25th of Jan and lasted 5 days (as it usually does, and I am usually around the same time every month)
For some reason, I felt automatically I was pregnant! so I took a test on the 8th and it was negative...
Me and my ex have had a very complicated relationship and long story short I began seeing someone else, sooner than I expected me and this new guy had sex for the first time on the 19th of Feb (I believe he didnt ejaculate), and again multiple times on the 22nd of Feb. On the night of the 19th of Feb I couldnt sleep properly and felt very sick, I thought this was because I felt guilty because I was with someone else and not my ex who I dont believe I was completely over. I then felt sick on the Saturday night and then the Sunday 21st I felt sick all day, unable to eat properly and even the smell of things was making me feel sick - however, I thought this was due to a mussel I ate on friday night because I couldnt even swallow it because it tasted funny - so I thought I possibly had mild food poisoning. That week between the 22nd and the 29th I was feeling sick all week, not able to eat many things, and when I did eat I was starving and then felt unbelievably sick! I took a test probably on the 23rd and it was negative again, but i was under the impression it could because it was still kind of before my missed period. On the Saturday the 27th I took two pregnancy tests and it was positive.
Now on the 7th of March I have had a scan and they've told me I was 3 weeks pregnant; and on the scan they said all they could see was the yolk sac. There was a black section and then a tiny spec within that when I saw the scan, and there was no heartbeat or anything yet.

Basically, I really do not know who the father would be?!
Can anyone help please? And can no one judge me, I didnt plan for things to be this way! Please HELP!

I am perfectly capable of being a good parent and I have support from my family and everyone around me. I have a good education and I am just finishing my degree, I believe I am strong enough. And I will do nothing but the very best to provide and be the best parent I can for my baby. I have lots of love and support

Except from my ex who isn't exactly sure he wants to have the baby.

They didn't give me a copy of the scan report but when I go to the doctors today I will ask if they have a copy

Well you don't even know that the ex is the baby's dad! Does he know that it may not be his?
Can you afford to pay for testing?

Well it's tough for your ex isn't? It's not his decision to make

I think that's the best thing sbz. Firstly clear up any confusion about your dates. Find out your EDD first and then it will be easier to almost 'count backwards' to see which is the more likely.

He doesn't know he could not be the father, but the second guy does know about my ex and the situation I'm in now

But I was just worried of telling him because I'm scared of his reaction and then I'm scared if he is then the father he would hold a grudge against me or the child

How and why did you get an NHS scan so early on?

You clearly knew your dates?

Also by your description it's the first one you had so no sign of previous pregnancies?

Women's with difficulties or miscarriage history don't even get one so I don't see why you were rushed through.

Also you claim your well educated too so surely having unprotected sex with two men close together you must have be know you would be attempting to get pregnant and therefore need a DNA test

OP I think perhaps you just came across angry in posts without meaning to (it's always hard to judge how something was meant to be said when typed).

I agree with the others that it's most like your ex's and all you can really do is do a dna after baby is born. In the mean time you ought to tell both potential fathers and find out how they feel. It's important to know if you are going to have to raise the baby alone.

Some may disagree with me here but I do also believe the father has a right to express a wish that they would prefer a termination. I am all for equality and believe no one should be forced to be a dad.

Keep taking those vitamins and looking after yourself op. Can you talk to family or support? X

Because I was considering termination they sent me to a clinic where they gave me a scan and then told me the information about believing I had conceived 3 weeks prior

I've never had a previous pregnancy or miscarriage, I'm not sure as to why it was so fast as I've never been through this before sorry

Sorry Bobo, totally disagree with you. He has no say in this. If he didn't want to potentially become a dad then he knew what to do!

Then report horse. It may or may not be true, but the OP has explained where and why she had the scan, and actually just sounds confused or mixed up. I'm sick of seeing on literally every thread troll accusations, whether in the end they were correct or not.

Because of the short time between the 2 men and the fact that you can possibly ovulate more than once a month, there really is no way to tell at all until the baby is born and you do a DNA. You'll be calculating it forever and there really is no way to tell.
Just tell both of them you're not sure, then wait till baby is here.
It YOUR baby and that's all that's important. You made the decision to keep the baby and whatever struggles that may mean along the way. It's not the end of the world. You'll be ok xx

If you don't agree with abortion then why were you not using contraception ? Sorry but this couldn't have been such a shock for you and you will have to tell both men the situation and do a DNA test after the baby has arrived.

I believe he has a right to have a say into the decision as well but I am 100% sure I want to have the baby. So it's a bit difficult for him to try and persuade my decision otherwise

I can talk to family about it which is good, but sometimes I think it's not always good to talk to someone who is completely on my side. As I like to have unbiased opinions

Thank you

I don't understand the meaning of "I smell a troll"
Is that implying I am lying?

I don't understand why would I be making up a fake story about a pregnancy and be able to have so much detail about everything? It wouldn't add up surely...

Also why would I replying comments that are clearly a response to what specific people have said if I was a "troll"

Yes. 'Troll' suggests you are lying.
I can't see why you would want to lie about sleeping with two men without protection and come on mumsnet to be spoken to like a silly little girl, but heyho...

Some of your details don't really add up. Sometimes this is a clue someone is making things up, but other times it just shows people are human, fallible, get confused etc. And trolls do reply to questions. But directly accusing someone of being a troll is against talk guidelines. I wish mumsnet would take a much harder approach to people who do it publicly.

Well I can clarify I am not a "troll" and this is a genuine situation that I need help with.

I understand some of the dates and things don't add up especially considering they had said I had conceived 3 weeks prior to my scan, but that's the information I am very confused about myself!

Congratulations anyway!
Don't let this get in the way of enjoying your pregnancy. Like I said, you know the baby is yours and you've made the decision be a mommy. Enjoy it x

Hope the appointment with your GP goes well OP.
Try not to stress too much, it won't achieve anything. And IME things have a way of working out, especially with support from family and friends.
Best of luck!