TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided - all welcome!

[Kwick709]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Hello all,

Loops - We applied for NHS funding as Was unclear online of chances of getting it. We were offered some assistance but only after we try 12 IUIs first! Helpful... Luckily we didn't need that many. There's a lot of regional disparity and no clear rules. Your PCT can basically do whatever they like! Stonewall recommends 6 IUIs then NHS help with funding (or did last time I looked). But I would still recommend applying - Hoping is proof you can get help. And if nothing else you get a heap load of tests done for free which helps save money for the cycles. But do shimmy things along, we were often left in limbo waiting for something when they'd forgotten about us. Funding aside we didn't have any issues or bad experiences going to clinics as a single sex couple. Anything goes really.

Kwick - Glad you had a nice time in Portugal. They have C&A in other European cities too. Def seen one in Amsterdam and somewhere else but I forget where...

Shoes, Kwick - How are you both feeling? That's probably a stupid question and I apologise. Just hope you're both doing OK. We're all here for you.

Karen - Welcome. Fingers crossed for future IUI success and I hope you don't have to wait too long for the next cycle. Please do ramble away. We're a pretty supportive bunch and mostly understand what you're going through.

Stork - Sounds like a good scan to me. I don't 100% know what I'm talking about as I never had that scan but in scans I did have I had much lower follicle count (not sure if comparable). Anyway, sounds good to me.

Trill - Welcome offers big welcoming hug and none of that silly shy waving. Feel free to ask away ant questions you have. No question too silly...

TD x

I seem to have kicked off a wave of new joiners to the thread! Welcome to all!!

Having serious period pains yesterday and today so not holding out any hope for this round to have worked, but I guess it was very wishful thinking that the first time would take. Still sucks though. Had to ask a friend to give me a hug without asking why I needed one at work today.

Shoes I have been thinking of you today; I hope you are taking care of yourself xx

Hi trill! What tests are they doing before you start your iui? And sorry, but what does smc stand for?

taydex Yay! Thanks for such a lovely welcome!! I am so happy to have found you all

Karendvm It will be a pelvic ultrasound scan, HIV/STD panel and AMH blood test initially, then a HyCoSy, then quite a bit nearer the time tests to see how I'd respond to the hormones I think. And, no problem, SMC stands for Single Mother by Choice!

Just popping back in to say hi and welcome to the new joiners Trill and Karen

9 days till our consultant appointment. It's dragging right now.

karen and trill, I'm right at the beginning of the process, I'm 38, so unsure if I will do iui, or if I go straight to ivf as am also an smc. I've had the Amh, and today had the Antral follicle scan. I'll only do hycosy if iui seems to be a prudent course of action. Thought with a 5-12% success rate, I'm thinking IVF! I'm hoping to start medication June/July for a July/august procedure..... Eeek

StorkAhoy Eee! You're a bit ahead of me, haven't had my tests yet, just about to start
waves encouraging pom poms

Sorry to double post but I missed talulahbelle! Hello! I can imagine the waiting game is really tough. Can you find a TV show or something to chain watch on Netflix to take your mind off things a bit?

Wow you guys have been busy today!

Welcome newbies! So proud that this thread is going strong after I hijacked it last year.

Thanks stork for book recommendation :)

stork scan sounds positive - I had around 7-8 at my last ORT and I only have one ovary so you have loads more in comparison :). Remind me are you going for natural or stimulated IVF?

Ok on to next page

trill what would the acronymn be for single mother as no man came along in time for rampant chukka chukka and baby making be?

taydex how are you doing my lovely?

hoping fx it is af

Had two crying jags today - one in public with one of my bosses... Oh well I guess it is part of the process.
On way home now: EXHAUSTED...

Kwick709 Well that's what I am, so SMNMCATRCCBMK still SMC! I think the "choice" refers to the fact that no one died or left and the pregancy wasn't an accident. We set out as single and chose to be mothers without a man. It's not a great term. It doesn't mean this was my plan all along and/or my first choice. It wasn't. But for the purposes it says what it needs to. I'm going to be a single mum, I know and planned for this, and it is my choice to get pregnant.

Thanks Trill

OMG the sewing bee is back!!!!!!!!

Hey Kwick - I'm doing really good thank you. Still doesn't quite feel real at nearly 17 weeks but I'm sure it will soon enough... How are you doing?

Ladies, don't ever think of SMC as a bad thing. You are doing a wonderful thing and don't let anyone tell you any different. At least you didn't have a midlife crisis when you hit 30 and were fed up of hunting for Mr Right and choose a woman instead like me!

x

Hello to the newcomers

And thanks to everyone for the good wishes.

I couldn't fault the hospital today. The staff were all amazing which helped hugely. I found the whole thing emotionally difficult and have had painful cramps on and off all afternoon/evening which hasn't helped, but I'm ok.

The mental side of things has been made all the more difficult in discovering that my miscarriage might have been preventable (and possibly last cycle's chemical pregnancy) had I been more on the ball about an existing medical condition I was diagnosed with 20 years ago and had pretty much forgotten about but apparently may have been the cause

I'll post more about it soon when I understand it better. My lovely GP is going to research it too and hopefully help me work out how to handle it.

I'm a bit self absorbed at the moment but I'll come and contribute to the thread more fully in the coming days.

trill. Ok!! Happy to call myself a and too. Didn't plan to do this, but that's life. I had all those tests too. Guess I'm pretty average for my age. Hope yours go well. The contrast sonogram gave me wicked cramps, but everyone else seems to have no problems. I think my doc did mine at an odd time in my cycle just to get it done and that's probably why. Open tubes. My iui itself didn't really bother me. Although I have to say that while I was having it done it just hit me that I was actually trying to get pregnant. Lol. Not sure what I thought I was doing up to that point. Guess it just got really real at that point!

stork my doc told me that as long as things looked good (ie no obvious fertility issues) that there was a 20% chance of pregnancy with each iui, and that 60% of women will be pregnant within 3 tries. Every dr says different things though, which makes it all very confusing. And you have WAY more follicles than I did. Fingers crossed for you.

tay so glad things are going well

kwick hugs.

Omg. Happy to call myself a smc. Stupid autocorrect.

shoes I found a hot water bottle helped with the cramps.
Dont't worry about being self-absorbed, just do what you need to do.

taydex are you like mega showing? I am so excited for you!

Blimey what a night - too short and crazy (not in a nice way) dreams.
I am very meh at the moment and feel drained whenever I think of work.... Still trying to catch up but it seems an impossible task, especially as now will be away most of next week and the week after. I need a new job. Five years doing this one is too long.

karen for me with my age, they are saying anywhere between 5-12%, probably 10. so the question is, do I do several IUIs, or do i just go bang for full medicated IVF, throw everything I have at it, including all my money, and hope for the best?

Im nearly 100% sure Im going to buy in danish sperm with an extended profile from the European Sperm Bank and have treatment at my local clinic. If it doesn't work, then I will rest my body, save up and do international, or CRGW in wales. Is anyone using just standard old UK sperm on here?

Also may i suggest an acronym? How about MWP? mother without partner? I like the sound of this as it puts the emphasis on Mother, rather than Single.

Oh and hugs to those that need it, you are all in my nightly prayers. xoxox

stork I think you should do whatever your gut tells you to do. Trying to pick a donor was interesting to say the least. At many points I felt like i was back on a dating websitel. Lol felt a bit odd to be honest but I had some friends helping me look and they got a huge kick out of picking the baby daddy. And I can't even have a canadian donor! Not that I really care. Canada went all stupid and made it illegal to pay money for sperm. Although we ARE still allowed to import from other countries. They just cracked down on the European sperm bank due to import regulations, but there are a few from the states that I can search. I have a vial waiting patiently in storage for my next try.

Trying to spend this week not obsessing over when af will show up. Going for more blood work today. Still got a very faint positive this morning so not feeling hopeful that my hcg is gone. Such a long road and feeling so impatient but really trying to quash that and think only positive thoughts.

StorkAhoy For me MWP, like 'single mum' doesn't explain that no one left or died etc. A MWP could have conceived with a partner and gotten divorced? Have a XP somewhere? Those scenarios feel like quite a different situation to mine. For me SMC conveys that there is no Ex, never was, no one left and I didn't get pregnant by accident. It's the "choice" bit I feel I need. But that is just my sense of it. Everyone should self define as they like!

Also "standard old UK sperm" made me giggle. I probably will simply because there are more UK than overseas options in the bank my clinic is associated with. If I picked an overseas donor it'd need to be somewhere I was happy to visit (so Denmark would be ace!) as I'd feel my DC should have a connection to that place too, somehow.

INeedNewShoes Thank you for the welcome. Don't feel you need to post here more than you want to though. Being self-absorbed right now seems healthy and necessary.

We went for standard old uk sperm. Mostly through laziness as that's what our clinic had, an on site donor bank. Well, that and not really knowing there were any other options.

Karen - The contrast gave me cramps too. So much so that they only actually looked at one tube. Kind of regretted that a bit since but hey ho, we got there anyway I guess.

Kwick - starting to show now. It's been a little bit for a while but not so you'd notice but in the last week I think it's become more obvious.

I have just standard old UK sperm Stork but that's coz my clinic use in-house donors, so they see them all regularly, have done counselling with them and have got to know them, which seems quite nice.

Cramps seem to have stopped completely today, which seems odd as usually they get worse. Have bought a HPT anyway, though not feeling very optimistic. Will see how it goes

hoping I had cramps during my entire tww. They only stopped right around the time I was supposed to get af. And even during the ten weeks I was pregnant I had them off and on. Fingers crossed!!

Well... Looks like I was wrong to be so negative. I've stocked up on tests to do over the next few days as I'm not totally convinced I believe it!