TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided - all welcome!

[Kwick709]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

cloud I guess midwives are more concerned about getting the baby put than how it got in?

The cervix thing sounds uncomfortable... But great attitude!

caution I had "surgical management of miscarriage". The baby was dead, but I could not handle waiting to naturally miscarry/bleed nor could I handle taking drugs to make it happen so plan c was lesser if evils.

Good news on potential referral although I think it is really unfair that it is with a proviso. Do you mind me asking if you are very far off the 30? I am at 39... No one (at the clinic) has ever mentioned weight as being an issue. Clearly I want to slim down. The nurse that admitted me for the op told me how the nhs will give you gastric bypass surgery if you are over a bmi if 35.... That seems so drastic but maybe I am naive?

No idea why you have to lose weight b4 they operate? I would request a second opinion!

So funny pickle I was wondering the same about Annie!!!!

Right I am off to dye my hair (diy - one of my many cost saving measures!).

Hi everyone! First clinic appt done. And what a lot of info to think about. I'm seriously considering going abroad for treatment. Has anyone been to the eugin clinic in Barcelona, or heard anything about it? Or any in Prague, Denmark etc? Any ideas on costs? I'm trying to work out if I need ivf if it's best to do it here or broad once I take into account flights and accomplish etc.... Any thoughts/info would be well received.

Kwick, I hope all is good and you are recuperating. Xx

Oh and re weightloss, slimmng work really works for me and got my bmi from nearly 40 down to 29, it's doable, promise.

Oh Kwick - that must've been awful for you. Sending lots of hugs & positive thoughts your way - I can't even begin to imagine how you felt/feel.

How far my BMI is over 30? It's 35 from what the scales at the hospital said. So I haven't got to get my weight down by a huge amount... I think the NHS have a limit, whereas if you're paying privately, you don't have a limit on your weight. I think it must be something to do with statistics but I'm not sure.
I don't think I'd want a gastric bypass - it seems a lot just for slimming down a few stone, if that makes sense? I'm bipolar (as I've said before) and the medication they put me on when I was 18 made me balloon. I was a size 12 before - now I'm a 16/18!
I think they won't operate because being overweight can cause more complications - IE, breathing.

How are you feeling Kwick? Xx

Thanks Pickle - I was pretty shocked too! I think because I am having problems with my fertility (really irregular periods and at my ultrasound the radiographer said she could tell I hadn't been ovulating) they'll refer me. I'll speak to him more about it on Saturday 7th when he scans me :)
When is your op being done? X

caution your BMI is not very high... I think it is OUTRAGEOUS that they will not operate already!

stork I am re-starting Slimming World (again) tomorrow! I used to be a size 8... sigh but that was 20 years ago....ironically now I am a size 20

Right I am off to pamper my face some more :)

By using some cleansers and face masks NOT by stuffing my face!

stork we had donor IVF in Barcelona. Lovely city to visit, but not cheap in treatment terms. But then it got me my DD.
Happy to chat about it if you want to pm me, but as ours was donor egg the practicalities might be different.

Weird hormonal stuff going on here. I'm pretty sure I'm OVing already (day 8 tomorrow) so I'm expecting a 22/23 day cycle. I need to phone up for a printout of my blood test results this Friday, fingers crossed the dragon receptionist at my GP has them for me.

Stork I had IUI at Stork klinik in Denmark. I love my clinic. The staff are fab, and everything is so chilled out there. Best of all each IUI only cost £650 including the sperm so it's very reasonable in comparison to the UK. They also do IVF but I never looked into it so don't know much about it.

Flights to Copenhagen seem to still be cheap even though it's Spring (I had a little look yesterday just to check that prices haven't rocketed). If you're on a tight budget, remember to take buying flights at the last minute into account.

shoes - if you don't mind me asking - £650? thats it? what about medication, scans, tests etc? what was your total price more like? and then the travel costs on average?
My clinic in the UK, all in its £2800 for IUI, and £6300 for IVF (both including pre meds, but not post IVF meds). It just seems like such a lot, especially when it often doesn't work the first time.... Feel free to PM me!

talulah thanks for that, which clinic was it, if you can recall?! and yes I love Barcelona!

stork my clinic (CRGH) charges £850 for the IUI - that includes the scans but not bloods, medication pr donor sperm.
I did have a fleeting thought of doing IVF abroad - but it is hard enough for me to fit trips to clinic in now due to work travel schedule, I just cannot handle adding in another variable. If I did not travel for work I might consider it.

shoes how are you doing honey?

Stork my GP ran all the STD tests and some of the hormone tests. I paid £95 to have AMH done privately in the UK and that's the only test I paid for.

My IUI were 'unmedicated' which I wanted to try first. I have no known fertility issues apart from lack of sperm so I thought it was worth a go without meds for the first few attempts. On both attempts I got pregnant (but had a chemical pregnancy with the first), which shows that it's perfectly possible.

The initial consultation was £60 and then £650 was literally all in per treatment. It breaks down as something like £450 for the insemination and £200 for contactable donor sperm. You can pay separately for things like scans of your ovaries if you want them.

When I went to the clinic for my consultation (which they will do over the phone but I decided to go there for it to get used to the travel to the clinic) I booked flights a week in advance and got a return for £50 with Easyjet from Luton. Other trips I've paid between £70 and £115 for the return flights. On my first IUI I didn't book a hotel and just came back the same day. For my second IUI I paid about £80 a night for a decent hotel including breakfast.

For my second IUI I made the daft mistake of booking a trip to Denmark in advance because for the prior six months I'd ovulated at the same point every month so thought I was safe to do this. Then I ovulated late that month so I ended up having a nice city break in Copenhagen for 3 days but with no IUI and then had to go back a week later. Even so that second IUI including the two lots of travel and hotels came in at just over £1000.

The clinic do also offer medicated IUI but I didn't look into this. If this pregnancy doesn't work (haven't had 12-week scan yet) I'll have another unmedicated IUI. But if I do eventually go medicated I'll stick with Stork Klinik because I just absolutely trust them. The clinic is open 365 days a year. (Something that really pisses me off about the UK clinics is that they tend to be closed on Sundays and holiday days but will happily still take womens' money and do IUI outside the optimum time window. For example, if you get a positive OPK on Saturday morning you really want to be having IUI on Sunday. If you wait until Monday morning you've likely missed the boat. So if you're with a UK clinic you then have a choice of not doing IUI that month (which would be incredibly frustrating) or having a go even though the timing isn't great.)

With unmedicated IUI abroad the process is basically:

• do OPKs to test for LH surge
• when you get LH surge, book flight for early the next morning and phone the clinic and let them know you'll be coming in the next day for IUI
• the day following the LH surge travel to clinic and have insemination
• come home when you want to

I think the idea of going abroad for treatment can seem daunting so I suppose I'm just trying to show that it's not complicated really!

Hi Kwick

I'm ok thanks. Struggling with constant nausea and I just want my 12-week scan so that I know everything is ok. I'm just far too aware of how uncertain everything is at this stage. I'm 10 weeks this week so I'm hoping I'll get an appointment letter for the scan soon so that I know when it will be.

I am in awe of how you're handling things. You're a fab example for us all

Crikey shoes this makes it seem utterly possible without spending crazy arse money. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Im 38 and wondering if I need the medication to get me going! Though, same as you, know of no issue fertility wise. My AMH results come back Thursday from CARE in Northampton so that will help me make a decision.

I'm 33.

Just realised that there was one further test I had in the UK - a HyCoSy, which checks that your tubes are open so that the egg will be able to travel freely down. During this scan I cheekily asked the lovely consultant to also check my ovaries for me which saved me having to pay separately for an ovaries scan. The HyCoSy tend to cost around £400 but is money well spent - you don't want to have a few attempts at IUI, wonder why it's not working, then find out later that your tubes were blocked the whole time.

There is also evidence that the HyCoSy procedure (having solution pumped through your tubes) leads to an increased chance of conception for the next three cycles which makes it even more worthwhile.

yes shoes Im getting the HyCoSy too, but need to wait for the right time of cycle to do that. lots to do!

just looking at Storks website, their contactable donor list can't be only 4 or 5 chaps, surely?!! those are some busy busy guys....

That list is for the clinic's own stores of donor sperm, which all comes from German donors. They have it on site already which is why it's £50 cheaper than the other contactable donor sperm on the price list, which comes from the Danish arm of the European Sperm Bank.

I chose from the short clinic list the first time around, but for my second IUI decided that I really wanted Danish sperm (because by that point I'd chatted to lots of fabulous Danish people and decided that I wanted the chilled out Danish genes for my child!), so I just said to the clinic 'I'd like contactable donor sperm, from a donor who is Danish, a graduate, and ideally tall and dark-haired' and they ordered it in for my IUI later the same day.

In Denmark there are two sperm banks and they use bicycle couriers to transport it across the city on demand, which is why the sperm is cheaper in Denmark - there are no storage costs for the clinic because they just get the sperm to arrive at the right time from the sperm banks.

If you contact Stork, they will give you a login and password for the sperm bank so that you can browse extended profiles free of charge, and then I think they will organise getting your chosen sperm sent to the clinic (though, it will be a bit pricier because extended profile donor sperm is more expensive).

It's a very personal decision, but after looking at a few extended donor profiles, I realised that I would actually be happier just letting the clinic choose the donor based on limited criteria as I found the extended information overwhelming and unnecessary.

shoes so helpful thank you!! Thats exactly the description I would give! ha ha ha!

one of my biggest decisions is the anonymity issue. so is 'contactable' not at all anonymous? or is it, but with limits? very confusing.

'Contactable' means that when the child is 18 they will be able to obtain the donor's contact details, that's all. They're still anonymous really, in that you don't have their real name (I think they tend to use only their first name, or a pseudonym on the websites).

A recent large-scale study where hundreds of donor conceived teenagers and children were interviewed resulted in one very clear message. There was a lot of upset and resentment amongst the children who would never know anything about their donor.

This made the decision as to whether to go anonymous or contactable easy for me, but it's a hugely complicated and personal thing - everyone needs to do what they think will be right for their child.

I worry that by the time my child is 18, that the donor may have decided that they're not willing to be in contact with the children their sperm created, or the donor could be dead or have moved address so many times that they're not traceable. This would be one reason to go with the extended profiles - you'd have a bit more information about the donor to give your child in the event that the donor isn't contactable in 18 years time.

yeah, for me it seems a damned if you do, damned if you don't type of thing. but your words are actually really helpful as for me this is the biggest sticking point. Also I really liked the Cryos bank in denmark for that reason as you get hand written notes, family trees, pictures, likes and dislikes etc...

shoes you are amazeballs at explaining - seriously you should write a book! Your clinic does sound nice :) AND I love the name!!!

My challengette with the donor sperm is that I would like heritage that fits with my family which is a mixture of Spanish, English, Puerto Rican and Peruvian... The latino bit is hard to find...
Anyway CRGH have said I will need two vials for IVF unless I go with ICSI, and they have to be from the same donor so I am going to look at what Xytex has in stock. As they are in USA they have more latino choice - and still comply with UK standards.

Today was my first day back at work since MC... Fricking 600 emails!!! Lots going on which at least makes day pass fast... Even if I cannot drum up usual enthusiasm.

ok, so perhaps Im a little highly strung but... Why would my contact at the clinic tell me to contact her today between 8-5pm for my AMH results, when a) she isn't in till Friday and b) the test results wouldn't be in till at least 2pm.

I need to learn to not be irritated by others. It shall be my new mantra!

kwick that is a one heck of a genetic cocktail, good luck finding the perfect candidate!!