Secretly stopped taking Pill 2 weeks ago

[NameChangeForNow]

i want another child and have done for 2 years, dp wont discuss another one
so ive been naughty

QUESTION - what does this mean "nor does feeling that it is intrinsically wrong being holier than thou....IMO"

Are you saying it's OK to trick someone into having a baby they don't want?

I dont want any more children and would eb beyond devestated if dh tricked me into getting pregnant.

no sorry, not at all...that was in response to an earlier comment from catherineearnshaw at 21.39

i meant to say ....

that feeling it is intrinsically wrong does not mean being holier than thou

see my post at 20.38

i should have clarified that it was in response to that comment as the thread had moved on somewhat since then

eeek! This is all getting angry. Where is she?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Lulumam - I understand now. Didn't think that sounded like you! I'm with you now and I agree.

thanks teecee..i was posting in a hurry. always a mistake !

Thinking a lot, I'd imagine, Ammy. Not likely to come back to be lambasted...

don't think shes coming back. am off to bed!! wanted to hear some reasons

As if you come on here to announce that!! What did she expect?A standing ovation?!

Hopefully her head is so hung in shame she can't lift it to type.
She knows she's wrong, what more is there to say?

Feel bit sorry for her. Must be shit to not feel like you can confide and talk to your partner.

Oh I bet she is glad she posted on here!!!!

Just to add my full penny in....It is pretty immature and disrespectful to do that to your partner. You have other children aswell to consider. I suggest you go to relate and hope that you are not pregnant, so you can sort your relationship out first... Hang your head in shame girl... you are giving the rest of us a bad name!!

Message withdrawn

Perhaps she is very young and silly?

In all fairness, questions have been asked but as she's not come back its been a bit difficult and assumptions have been made. Lets face it, you don't post something like that and expect everyone to go 'oh well done you - lets have a round of applause over here please'!!!!!

haven't read the whole thread yet )but will)but in response to the op how sneaky and underhand

its not a good thing she has done but women do this sort of thing all the time

would we condemn someone who did no use contraception in the same way?

If you look at the other thread on this which I can't remember the name of, current, I'm posting on it, people are declaring on that they were on the pill and it failed which it does sometimes so there's no need for the husband here ever to know. Of course you risk him having been out for a secret vasectomy (my husband tried to arrange one without me knowing not that I could have stopped him after baby 5 anyway - amusingly his GP called and told me and assumed I knew.... and he never bothered to get on with having it done which is great because since we divorced I feel that's much better for him in case he meets anyone else).

Other therad is... may be this one was spawned (good word in this context) for that.

Relationships :For those of you who have fallen accidentally or accidentally on purpose pregnant, what effect has it had on your relationship?

My dh didn't want kids....EVER & I was deserate for children.

I was told time & again that 'accidents happen' by several people. I was on the pill & was told it was easy to just stop taking it.

But as my mother never wanted me & I lived with that knowledge, I could never have made dh responsible for a child he didn't want. Not only was it deceitful to him, I would be betraying my child, bringing into a world where I knew it wasn't wanted. I couldn't do that to a child.

I was lucky. Dh relented, although not until things got so bad I nearly left. We now have a dd we both adore.

but Socci, NameChangeForNow has presented this with a certain amount of bravado so should expect negative comments. The others you refer to at least keep it to themselves for the most part.

She chooses to hide behind a pseudonym and not to return to this thread to fill in any background. For all we know there could be valid health concerns, financial worries, relationship issues which make it so not right atm, from her dp's pov, and she is preventing other MNetters from putting this into context or replying with anything other than a knee jerk judgement.

So if things were the other way round and it was you who didn't want anymore children and you dp was in control of contraception. Whoops the condom slipped off and didn't tell you how would you feel ?

I don't think its that bad

surely women have been doing things like this for years

Funny - I was just about to post 'How would you feel if your husband had gone for a vasectomy without your knowledge?' and Xenia has beaten me to it with a real life case of exactly that! God, Xenia - it does sound as though you had to put up with a lot with that man. You have my sympathy on that one - no wonder you feel that he was 'abusing' you.

It can be hard to reach an impasse on a major decision such as whether or not to have another child, but to stop taking the pill without a partner's knowledge is an appalling breach of trust.

I agree with other posts - tell him you've stopped then the ball is in his court.