TTC for 10 months and the rest! 10 plussers welcome! Thread 3 (the one where we all get our bfps!)

[lucieloos]

New thread ready for us chatty ladies! If you have been trying to conceive for over 10 months pop in and join us. We are a friendly bunch!

Banana - I read your update on the other thread. Your experience sounds awful, I really admire your strength, and the fact that here you are helping me when you have all that going on days a lot about you.

I feel in limbo at the moment, I just want Wednesday to get here so at least it's official and I can move on.

Had a dream last night that I went back to the stick I po and there were two lines. My first ever finding out I'm pregnant dream. X

Sammy hope you are holding up ok. Are you going to test again before otd?

AF arrived this morning for me. Right on cue for once. So I guess I'll get started with, gulp, my FET.

Banana, I am so sorry for everything you've been through. It sounds horrendous, and I think you are amazing and very strong.

Sammy, as I frequently admit, I don't know much about ivf yet, and I would hate to introduce any false hope, but I wanted to ask... is there any chance it could just be too early? I hope you're OK.

Lucie, fx for you! When is test day?

Boris, hope you're also doing OK! :)

Sorry for AF stealth, but FET this month? Exciting!

Hope you're OK too Trixie, Star and everyone else (on phone, so scrolling back is blinking hard and my memory is awful!)

Stealth - I tested this morning after that dream, but still bfn. Good luck with your FET. I promise it's much easier than fresh.

MPP - I'm the equivalent of 16dpo today, so fairly sure my result is accurate. Of course they give you test date for a reason so there is a chance some people might get a bfp then following a bfn, but they would be very much the exception rather than the rule. Xx

I also tested today. I know it's early as I'm only 10dpo but most of the women on my group get their positives 9-10dpo with a frer and IVF. Mine was bfn. The same happened last time and people told me it was too early but the result didn't change so I'm definitely feeling like I'm out x

Ah sammy. Sorry to hear that. Are you seeing your doctor on weds?

MPP no need to commiserate on AF turning up, I didn't have any embies put back so it would have indeed been an immaculate conception if anything other than AF had happened!

lucie that is way way too early to test . It doesn't matter what happens to other women, the fact is that only a very slim majority of people have a bfp by 10dpo so you are most definitely not out yet. Chin up!

I don't know stealth I'm on a fb group for the clinic and it really doesn't seem like a slim majority with bfps at this stage it honestly is most people and this is different people posting several times a week. I would say the slim majority is definitely those that don't have a bfp at this stage. I'm ok though. I will try and hold out until Wednesday evening and test with DH so that he can also see and then hopefully stop meds on the weekend and sort out the next round.

I am so confused. I have been taking various tests for over a week now. I am on cycle day 33 and usually have AF come days 28-29. My tests are so light that they are barely visible though. I never miss a period either. Should I get a blood test?

I am thinking maybe ovulated later than I thought or that I'm making stuff up in my head. Does a line being light mean you are at risk for miscarriage?

Lucie am on phone but look up the stats on when people get their bfps. 10dpo I think is around 60%. I know it's tough but hang in there just a couple of days longer. Keeping everything crossed for you xx

Lady I don't see a line on either of those tests, but, yes, get a blood test if you are unsure.

Thanks stealth, I looked up the stats on countdown to pregnancy and with a frer 78.7% of women got their positive today so not great odds for me!

Lady, I don't see a line either. As banana said you should get a blood test if you're worried.

Well lucie 80% of women conceive within 12 months too and we're on the wrong side of those odds too so maybe your luck will come in

Seriously, I know it's hard and you need to protect yourself but do hang in there. Also keeping everything v tightly crossed for you xxx

Thanks stealth, I am a little disappointed but mostly I'm ok. It's completely what I expected from this cycle and I've been fully prepared for it. I'm ready to dust myself down and get straight out to Czech for a frostie put back. My doctor has said I'm good to start straight away from this period if I want to so it kind of softens the blow a little. Although of course I won't completely rule this cycle out yet and will do a couple more tests of the next few days to double check before stopping meds.

lucie have everything tightly crossed. I think we sound quite similar in expecting the worst (whilst hoping for the best) to try and protect ourselves so it feels like there's less far to fall. Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn! I can totally relate to wanting to think ahead straight to the next step and working out a plan. Certainly helps me deal with things by focusing on what I'm going to do to try and get my baby than spending time thinking about how I'm sad things didn't work out this time. I do hope you get a lovely surprise though!

Yes definitely banana that's exactly what I'm like. I think I'm a bit of a realist and whilst I would love to hold out hope and believe this could end with a positive outcome and I'm sure it does for a small minority I know the chances of that happening are slim. I know I'm not going to cry over this round or anything and now I'm completely focused on taking the next step and getting straight back in there. I'm more concerned with how to break it to DH and how he will take it which is why I will do another test with him on Wednesday. Hopefully we will have more luck with the next one but if not we have a couple of mini ivfs in store...the joys! Hope you are holding up ok banana you have been through so much xx

That sounds like a good plan lucie. I really hope it works but if it doesn't as you say a plan b is always the best! Fx x

Is it all in my head on this one? This is an early response one I took about 5 days ago

Couldn't agree more lucie I'm going to the GP this afternoon to tell them about the mc so they will re prescribe my painkillers now I'm not pregnant any more (also need it logged on my records as god forbid I have two more consecutive losses that is when I will get investigations on the NHS - that I will have already paid for privately mind!!)

I know one of the first tests my Dr will want to re run is thyroid function. I do have family history of thyroid issues so if I focus on that (as a possible connection to the mc) rather than just asking for mc investigations outright (which the NHS aren't supposed to do until you've had 3 in a row) GP mate reckons it would be a very arsey GP on a bad day to refuse to run the thyroid tests.

So at least that might save me a few quid!

I already had all the level 1 immunes and thrombophilia tests so that's already done - and I have the peace of mind to know that the mc wasn't something that could have been easily prevented if only I'd taken Clexane and aspirin.

In my heart of hearts I believe our beautiful AA duracell blast just wasn't right and ran out of batteries 9.5 weeks is when the placenta is supposed to take over so it's a bit of a make or break time, and I think it just wasn't ever meant to become a person

All that said I'm not putting anything else back until we've done a hysteroscopy to check out the uterine environment, if only to see what nick everything is in post ERPC. If the Dr says it's for painful periods BUPA should pay for it, as they'll cover gynae, just not fertility

Although unlike stealth with her awesome insurance policy, if we do a fresh + PGS + FET combo that'll be another £14k or thereabouts

If we get a baby out of this the kid is totally going down the mines when it's older!!

Lady the only way to know is to take a blood test

It's impossible to tell one way or the other from the photos

Either test again in a couple of days time, or get a private same day blood test if you want to know sooner

Lucie - sorry for the bfn it could still be too early after a 3 day transfer? I can understand why you are protecting yourself I'm glad you have a plan b :) x

Sammy - you will get there my lovely

Banana you are a strong lady, so informative :)

Mpp I'm full of cold/flu :( but doing ok. How are you?

Lady - there may be a feint line there, hard to tell. That might be due to you testing to early or having too diluted wee. It's hard to see on your photos. All we can advise is you test again in a couple of days or get a blood test.

I hope your gp is able to help out banana. Mine ran a thyroid test when I initially went after failing to conceive in a year so hopefully that one won't be too much of an issue. I was also glad I got the hysteroscopy done to double check everything looked OK in there. Wow that's a lot of money for fresh / fet combo. Will you do another fresh next time or use a frostie?

We could just do a FET for £2k with one of our frosties

If I'd had BFN then I would be happy to play lucky dip and hope we had better luck with one of them

However after seeing and hearing a heartbeat twice, and then finding out our baby had died, and my body had tricked me into not giving me any indication that something had gone very wrong, I just can't play Russian Roulette and risk putting myself through that again. I just can't.

So I really really want to do another fresh to see if we can replicate last cycle and get some blasts that we can biopsy for PGS this time. For PGS you have to freeze all as you know, so we'd have to put back anything back in a FET the following cycle exactly as stealth is doing this month.

Obviously there is no guarantee we would be able to replicate the same results (ie getting a decent batch of blasts) with my shitty AMH. And then of course there is no guarantee there are any viable ones amongst that batch! So could go through all that with nothing to transfer. But I would prefer that than to go through BFN after BFN or worse more miscarriages. I just don't want to put back an untested embryo if I can possibly help it

Obv there is still every possibility that one of the blasts on ice could be our baby. Maybe even two!

I could be putting myself through all that for nothing when one FET could make me a Mummy

But I just can't put myself through MMC again. Obv there is no guarantee it won't happen again. Especially if it turns out that the problem was the soil and not the seed.

But equally, if the problem was with me, and we address my thyroid and immunes and any other bases that might be relevant - if we put back an untested embryo and it's BFN or another miscarriage, we won't know if the immunes tx didn't work, or if the cycle was always going to fail because the embryo was never viable in the first place. So PGS would hopefully not just give us a better chance of success, but clearer diagnostics if it fails.

If that desperately long winded waffle makes any sense??!!

Yes that's makes sense banana. I was going to do pgs myself but I don't think I have enough blasts to justify the expense and for now I want to give the transfers a go and have a smidge of hope. I know it's different in your circumstances though and I think pgs is a brilliant thing.

I'm sorry about your bfn Sammy. I was hoping that maybe it had just been a bit early for you. I hope you're OK. Thinking of you.

Lucie, sorry for your bfn too. Hopefully, as stealth said, you will beat the odds and get a different result in a couple of days, but you seem quite positive in general, and focusing on your plan is a good thing I think. Fx for you!

Haha Stealth, I'm such a muppet! I knew that, bit I think I'm just so used to saying 'sorry for AF' that it was just automatic! An immaculate conception would have been interesting!

Banana, I hope you're OK, and that you are able to get all your testing done. I agree with you and Lucie about having a plan. It definitely helps to know where you're going next I think.

Glad to hear you're OK Boris, though sorry for the cold/flu! I'm good, thank you. Currently impatiently waiting for the results of my blood tests so I can email the forms to reprofit. On which note, could I possibly steal the ff link from you or Lucie again for the Czech forum? I think I'd like to join now, if you guys think that's ok?

Hi MPP, when are you expecting your blood test results through?

The link to the ff forum is here it would be nice to see you there