April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

We got home late last night, we had to wait in to see peads as she had a mark on her face, but it's just a rash that should fade over time.

Am a bit more sore today. Ended up having a lot of stitches. Had a first and a second degree tear and then more stitches where her nails cut me on the way out

She's very chilled out at the moment ds is very proud and keeps holding her.

Cupcake will you be having physio or anything for your hips?

Lulu that is a speedy move! Hope everything goes well Friday and your not doing too much while pregnant!

I am not overdoing things Ducky. I feel great at the moment and you can't tell I am pregnant when I am dressed, although I have a small bump when I am not. I am still earing my normal clothes and think I will be able to for a while yet as they are mainly tunic dresses and opaque tights.

That's lovely about DS with DD. I hope my DS will be as keen. We have just stopped mentioning it because he shows no interest. When we move he will have his own room separate from the nursery so we are going to start preparing him after Christmas by him seeing the nursery being done etc. He is too excited by his little life and all the things he loves doing to be interested in something he can't see, hear or touch at the moment.

Big news this morning - SIL is pregnant! About 7 weeks so early days. They are delighted, just so over the moon and we are really pleased for them. Odd to think it will have DS's nursery here- she decorated it for him with paintings on the walls once we had painted it. She loves it and says they are going to keep it as it is. She said they have known for a couple of weeks and were going to wait to tell people but decided to tell us. They are waiting until Christmas to tell PIL.

I hope your tears heal quickly Ducky. I got off very lightly last time and am hoping I will this time. Did you have bad tears last time? The thought frightens me.

We have had a lovely tea tonight. Roasted sweet potato chips and roasted parsnips- with honey and mustard glaze. Brussel sprouts. DH and DS has roast chicken and I had quorn sausages. Veggie gravy and Yorkshire puds. It was delicious.

Lulu congrats to ur SIL and BIL!! What wonderful news! :)
Also ur dinner sounds delicious!

How are u getting on ducky? And also how is the house? Do u all like it?

Sorting my maternity leave out yesterday. Looks like I'm leaving on 6th Feb. I'll be 35 weeks and 1 day.
Which for me will be the longest I've stayed in work in a pregnancy I've left at 29 weeks both times before due to spd! Hope I can last till 25 weeks

I mean 35 weeks!

Lulu that is lovely news about sil!! Your ds will be a big brother and a cousin!! How many weeks are you now? I didn't tear last time I was cut, apparently the cut tore open this time. Strange though as this time I only had gas and air and wouldn't have known if they didn't tell me! Whereas with ds I had an epidural and felt it.

Cupcake have you had any spd this time so far?

Absolutely gutted about my house... just as I went into labor, strong contractions, I got a message from the estate agents to say they have decided not to give me the house they had someone view it just before me, they got an application in just after I had been accepted, but they are working

Am currently kind of sofa surfing between family's house. Stbxh doesn't give a shit. He hasn't paid a penny maintainance and is sitting in our house (that is now absolutely filthy) whilst me and his kids have nowhere to go.

Dd was born Thursday, he spend maybe an hour with her in the hospital and then demanded I take her and ds round to his the night after I got out where he spent half an hour with them.... well, he sat on the sofa while ds played on the floor and then he held dd for like 5 mins.

Have viewed one other house so far, it was tiny, on a main road with no parking, and have two more to view this week but am not holding out much hope. I just really don't know why I am still so terrified of stbxh and tip toeing around him

I am just so so thankful I have my two wonderful dc, and am just trying to stay strong for them

Ducky what have ur solicitor said about the house? Cuz really u have the right to stay in there and stbxh has to leave. Can u not speak to them and ask about a court order to remove him so u and the dc's can live there. Really he is being abusive. This is mental and emotional abuse. That court order I was gonna file for for my exH would work for u. Even if u are both on Mortgage they look at who needs are more for the house n it would be u due to the kids. I honestly think u need to look into it. At least then u can have somewhere to stay and take ur time finding a new place.

I've had no spd so far! Which is great as last time I was in agony by 17 weeks I'm 23+3 now and starting to get pain in my left side of my pelvis and my lower back has started to hurt. Hoping it doesn't get bad fast.

Do you still have your support belt cupcake?

Tbh I'm not impressed with my solicitor, she's very slow at doing anything and seems extremely sympathetic towards stbxh. The only reason I went with her was because she seemed to think she could sort my housing problem out but that hasn't happened

Last night there was a big argument. Whenever he has asked to see the dc I have always took them, and I have took them to him. I have never said no to him seeing them. The night I was out of hospital I was exhausted and uncomfortable but I took them to see him as he was moaning about it. Baring in mind he doesn't mind that we are currently homeless, and doesn't pay a penny towards them.

The other day he text me st night saying he wanted to see them the next day, because last time I went round the house was filthy I said I would meet him up the park with them in the morning as I was very busy for the afternoon. He had been on his phone but not replied. He then must have gone back to bed and woke up in the afternoon when he rang saying he was ready to meet me at the park. I was out at this point and not feeling well, ds still hasn't slept so I said if he was awake after I had done shopping I would try and pop round before I had to go out again. He was demanding he must see them and I got mad and said only if I had time, if not it would be the next day. I ran out of time.

Anyway, later that night he put a Facebook status up, which was pretty much a suicide threat. Then he text me saying it's killing him that he's just sat there.

I rang him up and he was obviously extremely drunk. He was crying down the phone saying I'm stopping him seeing his kids. I told him I have always done what he wanted when he wanted. Then he hung up on me and turned his phone off. Probably because he knows I'm right.

I waited a bit and rang back and he just kept saying I'm stopping him seeing his kids. I told him I would speak to him tomorrow when he is sober and hung up.

I feel like I'm being bullied, and even though I am away from him he's still controlling my life. It's horrible

He's saying I'm stopping him seeing his kids, but he couldn't wait to get out the hospital when dd had been born. He litrally only wanted to stay to take a picture of himself with her. They even got a student midwife to come in to pretty much be my birthing partner to rub my back and give me drinks and talk to me because he just sat in the corner not speaking to me.

I'm getting fed up of it all now but it's definitely showing me I have 100% made the right decision.

Sorry that was so long! Am just getting fed up of it and needed to rant!

U have made the right decision ducky. Ur right.
But nows the time to give him what he deserves! He needs to grow the eff up and start being a man!! Take legal action to get the house, and also I would 100% go through the court about visitation rights etc as me personally he doesn't sound like the kids would be safe with him at all. I think u and him need a no contact thing going on and only go through a 3rd party because he sounds like he's just going to keep manipulating u and bullying u.
:( big hugs to u! It's good ur dc's have such a great mom!

Ducky- don't give in. Let him get on with it. If he is stupid enough to kill himself you and the children will get the house anyway. Take him to court. Change solicitor. Just don't give in or involve yourself in his conversations. Don't look at his Facebook. He is a tosser and a bully. How dare he demand you take the children to him. I would make him go to a contact centre the way he is going on. I feel like thumping him myself on your behalf I am so angry for you.
The people we are buying our house from moved today and came round and gave us the keys. We have exchanged contracts and complete tomorrow so can start moving stuff tomorrow. DH is off on Friday but BIL is going to move boxes and things tomorrow for us and SIL and I will unpack stuff- kitchen, books, some clothes.DS is at nursery tomorrow and Friday. DH and BIL will start moving some furniture at tea time and then bigger stuff on Friday morning then BIL and SIL will move in here and DH will help them move.

Thanks guys I honestly don't know why he still has so much control over me. He put another suicide message on there last. He was meant to go back to work today after his 'paternity leave' and I was worried sick because he put that status on there, then went offline. First thing he does every morning is check his Facebook, and he should of been up for work at 5.30 but there was no sign of him. I went all morning not knowing if he had hurt himself. Then he appears again. He messaged me this evening saying he wants to see them and his manager has told him to take another few days off

I keep him on my Facebook as I screenshot the wierd stuff he does for evidence, he usually leaves stuff up for a few hours then deletes it. He's so manipulative people just think he's a nice guy so I feel like I nee evidence. When I called the police that one night even the police officer said that he seems like a nice guy I was lol, eeenmm yes a nice guy who just smashed up the house and was stabbing knives everywhere while his son is in the house

Sorry to ramble on. It just helps getting it down.

Did you complete today lulu?

Hope the moving went well today lulu and hope tomorrow goes well too! :)

Gathering evidence is very wise ducky! Good on u :) courts etc love evidence!
Hope for the sake of ur dc's he grows up soon!

Ds2 had his 1 year jabs today! :( 2 in each leg! He's in pain tonight and won't stand on them and when he turns on his side to sleep he cries with pain :( waiting for his calpol to kick in so he can get some sleep

Oh and ducky speaking of crap exH's! Mine was crap today!
I didn't book any work in for today because of ds2's jabs. ExH was having both of them as usual and I was gonna pick ds2 up earlier to take him for his jabs then come get ds1 later on after his dinner.
Well he presumed seen as I didnt have work he wasn't having them and had arranged to go to town to get a new mobile phone then sit on it 'setting it up' all afternoon. He's not a babysitter, he's their dad and this is his day he has them so I was not happy one bit! I even said can he just have ds1 while I go take ds2 for his jabs (I'm struggling atm to take both kids out on my own as I'm finding it exhausting!) he said 'I'll let u know if I'm back in time' well he called saying no he won't be back
It was awful taking them both and holding ds2 and also holding bags and stuff. My back is killing me tonight and my stomach is really
Hurting too tonight :(
I think it's made me over do things but now I'm worrying as I don't wanna hurt baby by lifting and overdoing things.
He's such an ass for not
Having his kids today

Oh no cupcake I hate taking them for injections hope he is feeling better soon! And at exh!! I don't understand what goes through their heads! How can they be like that with their own children.

I got some absolutely wicked news today.... I went to view two flats. I got one and even better..... I pick up the keys tomorrow feels like such a huge huge weight off my shoulders! I could of actually cried. The landlord was lovely and I told him about my situation, he had a lot of interest on the flat but said because of my situation he was going with me and will get the keys to me tomorrow. Restored my faith in people!

That is really good news about your flat Ducky. Congratulations. Could someone else not screenshot his stuff for you so that you don't read it. It s having exactly the effect he wants it to. Let him get on with it. As soon as he sees you are not reacting he will just stop.Don't tell him your new address either.

We moved lots of smaller stuff yesterday- that BIL could move by himself or with a porter's trolley someone had loaned him from work. The kitchen is unpacked and lots of our clothes in the 'dressing area' which isn't posh at all but what a treat to have it. Books on shelves, small tables, stuff in garage.DH helped after work. DS was excited and ran round shouting but a bit nervous as well and puzzled by it all. Don't know what he'll be like tonight when he has to sleep there.
We cleared the dining room here apart from our dresser and the table and moved SIL and BIL boxes here as well. Their stuff is in our kitchen which felt odd. I am feeling a bit emotional about this house now. DH and I have been so happy here. I am glad SIL and BIL are having it.
Typical of DH, he thinks he might have a 'games room' and get a snooker table, a big telly and have a bar in one of the attic rooms so he and BIL and his mates can watch football and chill out up there. We'll see about that.
Today is going to be busy and I imagine DH will be in bossy mode as chief removal man.
Hope DS2 is feeling better Cupcake. Your exH needs a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

That is fantastic ducky!!!! What a nice landlord!
Aw I'm so pleased for u!!
Have u got the keys now then?????

I'm glad u got lots of the little bits moved lulu! Hope the rest went smoothly today! :) are u all in now?
A poke in the eye with a sharp stick sounds satisfying!! My dm suggested a slap around the head but I like the sharp stick idea

Well we are in and sorted- on the whole- and knackered. DS has taken to his room, probably because he has all his things in the same place as his old room.
We're getting a takeaway tonght - can't be cooking. DH is just bathing Ds and once he's in bed we'll decide what we are having.
It feels like our house, we've got pictures up and photos out now and all the furniture is in place. At the back there is a kitchen/family room with a woodburner and we've got a table and chairs in there and sofas and a tv. It's really nice and it opens into a glass extension that runs across the back of the house- DS has been playing in there with his cars. So the woodburner is on and it just feels really nice. Cats are on the sofa infront of it.
We haven't got enough furniture for the bedrooms though. Ours and Ds are fine and a guest room but the others have just got boxes in at the minute. But we had curtains to go up. DH has sorted the study out in one of the attic rooms. We'll have to get DS's proper bedroom sorted and him in it before the baby arrives.
Hope everyone is ok. Great news about your flat Ducky - don't tell H where it is and don't let him in. Hope your aches and pains are feeling better Cupcake.

Is ds taking it well still lulu? I was worried that it might unsettle my ds a bit moving again. Dh getting his man cave?

Other people are screen shotting his stuff for me but I do it too as sometimes the true him comes out and he'll only leave it up for a few mins then take it down.

Cupcake I got the keys yesterday have been moving stuff in today and have a few deliveries of bigger stuff tomorrow (sofas, fridge freezer, washing machine, tv) then hopefully I'll be in there tomorrow night or Monday

I can't get over how amazing my family have been. I have everything like sofa, fridge, freezer, tv, washing machine etc at my house with stbxh but he has basically trashed it all (even though I brought most of it!) so they have all put money together and brought me furniture. I could actually cry I'm so happy:

Sounds a lovely house lulu! :) glad ur all in and settling. Hope u enjoyed ur takeaway!
It's only 9:15am and uve made me crave a Chinese takeaway
And yes thanks lulu, my aches and pains have gone! :)

Yay ducky! So glad uve got the keys! And that is fantastic of family to do that! :) very happy for u and the dc's. U all deserve to have a bit of stress free and freedom to relax!

I'm still looking for a house myself nothings come up but I think after xmas there may be some. I don't mind waiting till after xmas but need somewhere before baby is here as I don't have any room here!

Ducky - great news. You are going to be all sorted out
Cupcake - is Ds2 in with you at the moment? I think more houses come up after Christmas. Glad your aches and pains went away.

DS is over the moon because he can see ducks in the park from his nursery. He will be able to from his new room too once we get him in. We are waiting until he is really settled here after Christmas. He had a little panic in the hall today when he didn't know which room DH had gone in and looked a bit scared. I could see him from the kitchen.

I have to say DH has been amazing the last week. He's not complained once and I couldn't have asked more of him.

I hope you find somewhere quickly cupcake!

Lulu that's lovely that he can see the ducks, and well done to dh! Did sil and Bil get settled in ok?

I'm pretty annoyed, stbxh' mom said to dm when we split that she doesn't want to see ds and dd. Stbxh hadn't spoke to her since a few weeks before our split. He must be speaking to her again now, because he's messaged me saying she wants to see them. It's annoyed me because I think she's doing it to wind me up.

Lulu, ds1 is in with me atm! ds2 is in the other room which we now call his room. Ds1 sleeps in my bed. They just can't share a room it's impossible they wake each other up all night :( ds1 wants his own room, and baby and ds2 will share. But I need a new house with another room!
Aww u should dig out a pond in ur garden and get ds some pet ducks! :)

Ducky, my exMIL did the same!!!!
She wouldn't see them after me n exH split neither would his sister. The past year she's started asking and sent the boys a voucher for their bdays. And then asked exH to bring them over. He asked me and I said no. I'd rather the park or somewhere as I want to go because I know they'd feel uncomfortable. So we all met at the park. (It was so so awkward!!!) but they had no idea who she was. Ds2 cried and ds1 just wanted to play and not talk to her. She hasn't seen or asked to see them since. His sister has had no contact at all for like 2 years.

Like u said she's prob doing it to pee u off! But just say only see them if u meet In the park and u must be there.

It is pouring and blowing a gale and freezing here. DS woke up and was quacking to the ducks from his window. He has been at nursery and I have been unpacking boxes. DH has been at work.
Ducky - don't let her see them. She sounds like a witch from everything you have said.
Cupcake - hope you find a new place after Christmas. There will be more around then. How many bedrooms will you need?

Well DS is wide awake and sitting on the sofa cuddled up to DH watching TV. Little horror! He is almost asleep and every time we go to move him he wails and hangs on. We are going to bed so he has no choice soon.

The weather is just dreadful and I am not used to the sounds of it here. Just want to be tucked up in bed.