is pinkranger out there????

[anewme]

Hi
i've been hanging around on here for many months now and have banished myself from MN three times and have had to re-register three time too. My names in the past have been wright4845 and ladybump.

when i first joined Mn, i remember your name along with various others such as SOl and SOH.if you remember my story it is pretty similar to yours.i was just reading through preg. after miscarriage thread and your entries in late Nov really struck a chord with me. i lost my baby at eight weeks in July. It seems to have been such a long time now but i feel only like it's getting harder but i know what it is. It's that fact that i am still not pregnant.
Each time my AF arrives it actually breaks my heart but you have to try and keep it together for Dh who is doing his best but who wants a wife that cries all the time?! talk about adding pressure. i chart spotted for a month but bacame so obsesed with it that i was turning into a nutter.
last week, i went to see the dr about a coldsore i had. When he went to issue me with my tablets, he paused and said "oh you can't have these, you're 25 weeks pregnant", without even glancing at me. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I sobbed. Anyway, after profusely apologising ( i wouldn't mind but i def do not look preggers) he chatted to me for ages and has set me up with a counsellor to talk about it.My DH and everyone around me thinks it will help and i'm even starting to look forward to it in the hope it may remove this black cloud from over my head.

Finally, we all know that our 'due date' is looming and if you are like me you fully expected to be PG by then and now it looks like it might not happen. This is going to be so hard but i think once it comes and goes we'll feel so much better.
I don't know how long it takes to get over this type of thing. It's taking me so much longer than i expected it would and i feel people who i talk to about it feel i'm going on a bit but it is still, sadly, a big part of my life.
i just wanted you to know that I am here if you need to chat. It is so bloody hard that we all have to help pull each other through.
Keep in touch, I need your help too

Lovely to hear you being so upbeat and I cannot second enough the enjoying being just you and DH. I find more and more that happy marriages are a dying form and you are very lucky to have each other. True, you probably will have children swinging off you in the next few years, but you will also have DH so enjoy being just the two of you and nurture that relationship. Maybe plan a few things- nights out, trips etc so you can think about things other than babies and it's good to have some goals- losing weight, doing a course etc. I started a photography course when I was having problems ttc and I am now a very keen amateur photographer and have had stuff published. It's great to have a new focus and a new hobby when you need a diversion.

I did get pregnant very quickly after giving up ttc when I had the m/c. Incidentally, we had also gone on holiday and we were relaxing. Have the big scan tomorrow so will hopefully have some idea whether it's blue or pink (secretly want blue, but shh! don't tell). And it's our first so we're bumbling through, trying to get it right.

I'm glad you're taking steps towards feeling more positive and I look forward to hearing more about your amazing weight loss in months to come. I, by May, will be the human incarnation of a blimp.

Take care and keep in touch! And the offer is always there. If you want to CAT me I'll send you random emails.

Just popped on to mn after being away for a few weeks. Lovely to see the familar names. You all offered me great advice along the ttc road, and support when I mc in sept.Im now 7 weeks, and had scan today and saw heartbeat....very exciting. Very tired, sore boobs and constipated.

Hope you all continue to keep well

love dd1

Hello, hope you don't mind me popping in. I'm from the March thread( was kittywits but am now sexy -not and remember alot of you from the beginning of that thread.
Sorry wrighty, hope things go well for you soon.,
Trace2 , so very pleased that you're well on your way now and that all's ok.
Pinkranger, fingers crossed for you for tomorrow. i'll be keeping a look out to see how you are all doing xx

Good morning all,
Pinks am thinking of you today but i'm sure you'll be ok.
xxxxxxxxxx

Pink - I'll be thinking of you today too. I bled during both my last two pregnancies so hopefully its nothing.

Big Hugs xxx

Hi eveyone
Well, wnet for my scan today and Yipeeeee, we have a little bean with a Heartbeat, dated excatly 7 weeks today so my caculations were correct!!

The lady who scaned us was great and like you strechmarks, i creid and snoted everywhere, i know that with my missed baby died a 6+5 so already i have gone pass that bit, still going to have antorre scan at around 9-10 weeks i think for reasurrance (for me) - They couldnt see where the bleed had come from as eveything seems normal!

i know i will still worry but at least i have come this far!

One quick question - is anyone still getting belly aches that come and go, feel a bit like period aches and wind??

Thank you all
xxxx

Great news Pinkranger. Am v. happy for you

Hi anewme ! You may recall we m/c'd at almost exactly the same time. Sorry to hear you're feeling like this but thought it might help to know that I'm still pretty much in the same boat - still ttc and expecting (very much expecting it due to dh's rather excessive work hours last month which didn't help in the slightest) AF at any moment. Feel terrible when it comes. I have now been ttc longer than ever before (I have a dd who is 2 in a couple of weeks) and so now start to think it will never happen. Coupled with this almost evetyone I know announcing pregnancies it makes for a fairly depressing time. I too thought I would be pg by the due date and also that I would have been by christmas/new year.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone - give us a shout if you ever want to chat. Here's to 2007 and a new start !!

Pinkranger, that's SO wonderful. It's such a relief isn't it . I've been looking out for your news all this afternoon, hooray!!!

Hi to those who dont know me. Ive been reading all your messages and felt inspired to leave a message.

Its so great to hear all your good news. Like many of you, I miscarried in May and have been ttc again since August. It was one of the most horrific things ive been through. I bled for 1 week before the doctor decided it was time to scan me, because it was over Easter weekend and they said they didnt have the staff!!!! I went thru days of excruciating contractions and passed a large clot so thought that was it. But the pains continued and eventually I had a scan and they told me I still had the foetus inside me. I was mortified. This was at 12weeks and 1 day. I had a D&C the next day. The doctors said that I was probably carrying twins due to the clot I had already passed.
I still cry now thinking about it, it was so hard and I dont thnk ill get over it for ages.
Ive read that your advice has been to not think about ttc. How does this happen?
I feel like Ive become so obsessed with it that if I try to stop thinking about it then no mtter how much I try, it just comes up again.
How do you all do it because id love to hear your advice?

Firstly Pinkranger, I am over the moon for you. Actually grinning like an idiot! And don't worry, I had cramps and pains and aches until about 13 weeks. Lots of stretching, growing and hormonal changes. All entirely normal. Congratulations to you and here's to a continued healthy pregnancy.

Stresshedd you poor thing. I really do sympathise, as you may have read on this thread I have been where you are, but luckily had great medical care which I think makes all the difference. You have been through a horrible time. As for telling you how to think about other things, well...er... it's difficult isn't it? It's like somebody shouting 'RELAX NOW!!' in your ear. Impossible. I found the only thing to do was to find something else to sink my passions into. Like I said I did a photography course, planned a holiday, got fit etc. I made a list of things I would like to achieve and how I would like to do it and allowed myself rewards each month for achieving certain things. When I could run 10k I bought myself a new pair of boots for example. I don't know what other interests you have but maybe rediscovering bits of your relationship would help too. I felt so relieved not to be having sex at the right time like a robot. We went for walks, talked, watched films. I threw out the thermometer, banned myself from reading anything pregnancy-related and got on with other things. I don't know if this can work for you, but worth a go maybe? Have you considered counselling as well? It is very important to get past your previous experience before you can start enjoying ttc again.

I wish you the best of luck stresshedd and will look out for you on MN.

Stresshead, so sorry to hear what happened to you. My first m/c was also at 12 weeks, it was agonising and went on for a long time.
I didn't have a d&c that time. I am preg with no.6 but in between my successful pregs I have had 6 miscarriages. I have found the most difficult ones the ones when I have passed a recognisable embryo.

I'm afraid I have never been able to forget ttc. As soon as I've lost one I've become obsesse with getting my self physically really hea;lthy and strong so that I stand the best chance possible. Luckily conception has never been a problem, holding on to them hasn't always been easy. Best of luck to you.

Thankyou SK and SOH for your kind words.
I am going to try to no think about it as a new years resolution. Its true SOH, what you said about having sex like a robot, its so unsexy, even when neither of you want to do it or youre too tired, you think, oh we must do it just in case this is the right time and well miss out. My poor DP, hes put up with so much from me and my obsessiveness.
Even wnen you focus on other things ie holiday or getting fit, is it still not in the back of your mind...ooh I might be fertile now? or do you not worry that you might miss out on precious days? Is it me just being ridiculous? I know the answer to that really but its just good to hear others thoughts!!

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't always there, but it was easier to quash it and get on with other things. It's not letting yourself think about it that is key. If instead of looking at DH and thinking 'oh I might be fertile we should have sex' you think okay, let's have a nice meal together and watch a film and if we have sex then that's a bonus. You have to trick yourself into thinking it doesn't matter if you don't.

Not easy I know.

Yeah thats true, it is all in the mind! Im just going to have to try to put it to the back of my mind and concentrate on other things. Ive got so many other things to be grateful for and look forward to, so I must stop driving myself and my DP crazy.

Its just so easy to start panicking that something is wrong with you... im not ovulating..or what if ive got PCOS...what if the mc was my only chance!
Its mad, who would have thought it would be so stressful!!

Anyway, thankyou so much for taking some time out to advise me, it means alot. Good luck to everyone and Il be back soon,

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Yeah so happy for you pinks! Keep us updated!

Hi wheeleybug! i do remember you. My god we've been through it haven't we? Keep your chin up and stay in touch to keep me sane.

stresshedd (love the name by the way), there's nothing i can say that I am sure people haven't already said to you except for the fact that i am one person that REALLY understands and am experiencing everything you are, i feel the pain and the anxiety and stress about the future. So why don't we all be pro-active and pull together, stay in touch and help take each others mind off it. Lets not concern ourselves with what we cannot do for the moment but what we can do?
Anyone else up for it? Wheeleybug?

Any suggestions? Excercise/diet thread? Anything but TTC.

C'mon girls all ideas considered.

OMG SOH you had scan today! i forgot
Pink/Blue bean? All ok?

Seriously, has anyone ever looked at the threads on here outside of PG and conception? My god there are tons. House swap is my favourite so far!!!!!!!
Anyone wanna come and live in Liverpool?

Pinkranger, wonderful news my love. Here's to a continued healthy pregnancy.
Hope everyone else is well. Bed for me! xx

Pink - That's brilliant news I'm so pleased for you and will keep an eye out to see how you're doing.

Wheelybug - I remember you too {waves}. I was called Fatfox.

I'd be up for an excercise thread. Am PG and expecting in about 8 weeks, so desperate to get fit afterwards....

Pink/blue, who the hell knows? You don't think BabyShowOfHands was remotely interested in showing us do you? Everything fine, saw the heart valves working, counted fingers and toes etc and the baby spent most of the scan fast asleep and had to be poked by the sonographer repeatedly to get it to move. Glad all is well, disappointed not to know what make s/he is but might go for a 4D scan at 28 weeks to see what we can see.

hello (waves back at fox).

We should do an exercise thread although I've just given up my gym membership cos I couldn't find the time to go (ok ok I know I could have if I'd wanted to but I didn't !). Keep meaning to buy a pedometer and make sure I walk lots.

Have just moved to a new house too so REALLY need to do some decorating.

It is good to be able to talk (whinge ?) about it. Hardly anyone in RL knows about the m/c or that we are trying so its quite hard when everyone keeps asking when we're going to have another.

Hi everyone ,
Just thought i would drop into this thread and say hi, there a feww of us here who will be approaching our EDD soon of the babes we lost , mine will be sunday and i think that everyone has forgottern am going to plant some flowers. Hope that you all are well and holding up at the moment.

Love PR xxxxxxxxx