Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

Hi all,

Jessie - I really feel for you. It's hard waiting to hear the news and not knowing. Wishing you all the best with getting through this part and hoping you can find some distractions. x

Loueeza - good luck with the new angle of injections. My meds arrived today (gulp) and I didn't realise I'd have 56 suppositories! (double gulp). I thought there was just one. Oh heck.

My af is due sometime from tomorrow to sun. It's the waiting game. Tried to take my mind off it with leftover Xmas choc.

Hang in there jessie.Today you are pregnant. Been thinking of you. X

loueesa glad to hear you're moving on to stimms and all is progressing as it should be.

All quiet on here. How is everyone doing?
3 weeks til I fly to Cyprus!

After 3-4 days of small amounts of spotting (totally out of pattern for me) af put in an appearance on Sunday evening so it's wait for her to bugger off then start trying again cycle 17 and beginning to get despondent about it working and wondering whether it's worth the heartache and stressing every month.

Hi there,

My cycle of Clomid didn't work (it was the 1st one so a long shot). So I'm on to my first IVF attempt. Started injecting Sunday (buserilin & gonal-f) & have a scan next weds to see how things are developing.

Feeling ok. Taking it easy. Haven't told work.

I have a horrible feeling things will be delayed & EC/ET will land on my b'day! Not quite what I'd pictured for my 40th, legs akimbo with strangers delving in my foof. Had hoped to go away for a couple of nights for it really. Maybe a spa weekend.

Any IVF tips?

Hahaha, youdothat ... thanks for the giggle!

We're going to be doing our IVFs around the same time, then, as I'm doing the long cycle. I'm currently taking Buserelin and Gonal F too - going for my scan to see how things are developing later in the week.

On day 5 of the Gonal F today and can definitely feel some action happening ... aches and twinges galore. I was sort of expecting that though because I get that around ovulation time anyway. Hopefully it means that at least some decent follicles are developing!

Been really surprised actually by how good I've felt while doing the drugs (hahaha ... sounds dodgy saying it like that!)

Good luck to you too, Daisy.

Remember, believe me I know it's hard not to get despondent. We'll have been going for about that long too after this IVF is over. I'm not giving up yet, but I must admit the break from natural ttc has felt good.

Thanks Loueeza, I wish in a way that we could have IVF to look forward to but, short of a lottery win, it's a pipe dream for us and I'm too old for even 1 cycle on the NHS.

I'm really tempted just to step away and not temp or OPK and just let nature do her worst.

IVF overseas is not so expensive as the UK.
I'm single and have managed to get the money together, I don't think I could've for the uk.

Loueeza, good luck with your scan - hope all goes well. Glad you had a giggle!

I have a scan next weds so not much else to do until then except injections. Am becoming quite the dart thrower now, hehe.

Hi Daisy, do you mind me asking how much IVF is overseas? How did you choose the clinic you are going to?

Not long now - best of luck there.

I chose the clinic through research, I live in Hong Kong and it is illegal for me to get IVF here!!!
So I looked at Europe, Prague, Spain and cyprus came up as popular places. I heard from quite a few people who used the clinic I am using (team Miracle, Cyprus IVF centre with success.
Also they do tandem cycles, which mean you can still try with your own eggs.
I have got a BFP both times, but Hcg failed to rise....third time lucky?!?

Because I am doing tandem it is more than a usual cycle. I think a usual cycle is 3-4000, maybe less

I take that back, it will be less than that. My tandem cycle was 4500 pounds. So I reckon it would be 2-3000

As an FYI Norway could also be a good option. I would not have thought of it myself but after a lot of reading up online it is well priced (on a par with Greece or even less). This article here -although from The Sun- was interesting www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/scottishnews/2595003/Scots-are-flying-to-Norway-for-cheap-fertility-treatment.html
From my research I found Eastern Europe (Poland, Czech) to be the cheapest, then Greece, Cyprus and Norway and then Spain. Daisy please correct me if I am wrong and you found differences when doing your research.
DH and I are going to Athens at the end of this month for a consultation, if I hadn't have lived there for a while then I think I would have chosen Norway instead.

I still find it so infuriating that IVF is so expensive in this Country, if somewhere like Norway - where the cost of living is also not cheap- can do it for so much less then why not here??

I know people that considered Norway too.
I went with Cyprus mainly cos of personal recommendations and cos they have no issue with single women. Also it is 'slightly' nearer to Hong Kong than Europe.

Hi all. Glad you're feeling good on the drugs Loueeza, and rough idea when your EC will be? Just to add another perspective to the IVF costings, my UK cycles weren't as expensive as I feared. Guy's hospital in London. Basic cost just over £3,000 then another £750 to £1,000 for the drugs (short protocol). We also had to pay £300 for the initial consultation.

Nothing to report really from me other than ongoing anxiety I suppose, though am feeling a bit more optimistic these last couple of days because I think I am feeling very slightly queasy - only notice it if I get hungry and again after eating. Not chucking up queasy, just very mild nausea. Poss clutching at straws - I've never found it pleasant being hungry!

I'm getting freaked out by those "your baby at 7 weeks" pictures and descriptions on the MN pregnancy calendar and elsewhere because I genuinely cannot imagine that one of those is inside me. Scan on the 21st - this time next week I will know one way or the other.

Had a very vivid dream last night that I was starring as Rey in Star Wars but nobody had given me any script or costume- is that a symptom?

Love to all.

Good to hear from you Jessie, xxx. Did you have a HCG test done? Numbers?
Will be thinking of you for next week

HI Daisy. Nope, HCG testing is not routinely done by my clinci. They just book you in for a scan. I think I'm happier not knowing....

Hi Jessie! Great to hear from you. I think you're doing just fine. I'm sure 99% of newly pregnant ladies feel like you do. I know I will if I ever get there. In fact occasionally a very small part of me (VERY small) feels relief every time I get af because I know getting the BFP wouldn't mean the end of my worries.

Coincidentally, if your scan is 21st I think that could well be the day of my EC. Give or take a day or two. I had my first scan since starting the stim drugs today. I think mostly the news was good, although I just had a bit of a teary moment when I got home tonight - maybe it's the tiredness because I've honestly been feeling really good, both emotionally and physically.

Apparently I have a triple layer lining, which is good. To be honest I couldn't see too many follicles - at best a few on each, which disappointed me. Or at least the visible ones. I asked if numbers were looking OK but the nurse didn't seem to want to say. She just said 'you never know how many eggs you're going to get'.

She also told me I had a small polyp in the endometrial, which also upset me a bit. She said small ones aren't usually considered a problem, but worst case scenario is that we freeze the embryos and transfer at a later date. I think she should have left her explanation at '...aren't usually considered a problem'.

There was also a new doc in the scan room with her, and as they came into the room the nurse was saying 'we like to start you off with the ones with the low something or other because it's easier.' Gee, thanks for making me feel better. Couldn't help myself saying 'Oh, that's nice', while lying there legs akimbo, but I don't think they heard me!!! ;-)

Oh, it's all tumbling out now ...Jessie, Daisy, how did you find the pregnyl shot? Sounded a bit complicated!

Anyway, better stop rambling now.

Daisy, how are you getting on? When's your EC?

Endometrium, I mean

I didn't have Pregnyl, it was Ovitrelle, which is exactly the same syringe and needle as the Gonal -f. Only complication was staying up till 2 am to take it at exactly the right time.
Your nurse sounds a bit lacking in empathy but glad that everything seems to be on track. The one thing I'd say is that they tend to start you off on a lower dose of Gonal f for your first cycle. Here's hoping this one works but if it doesn't they might up you to a higher dose next time, when they know how your body reacts, and get more eggs. That's what happened to me. What does Gonal f are you on? I was 300 in the first cycle and 450 in the second.

I'm on 450 Gonal f already! Obviously they thought I'd need it!

I don't know for sure that I didn't have many follicles, but I just suspect that it wasn't fantastic. The nurse didn't seem to measure all that many. I have to go back on Monday for another scan. Do you think there could be more follicles by then?

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to see. Keep telling myself it's quality not quantity we're aiming for!

All the very best for the 21st Jessie. Will most definitely be thinking of you.

I am on 450 too, but it's called menopur

Been in touch with my clinic today and they are also recommending something called BlastGen, it has given great results, especially for ladies like me with several chemical pregnancies and implantation issues. Found a few articles on it. Has anyone else tried?
www.abc.net.au/news/2015-06-15/ivf-new-treatment-helping-women-become-pregnant/6545450

Loueeza, I found the pregnyl shot fine. It was the gonal /menopur that was the killer for me. At least I now know that is the only one I have a bad reaction to

It's just all the breaking the ampoules and drawing up water and mixing with powder and changing needles that makes me feel a bit nervous about the pregnyl.

The nurse gave me a link to a Youtube video to watch though. I'm sure it'll be fine. Just nervous because it's the important one, I suppose