We are all a bit bonkers, worshipping the travelling womble conker, we rub the grad's bumps for luck and shag without scientific schmuck (Most of the time!) Its Just Shagging 56!

[MyBlackCat]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 55 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2485718-Were-Still-Gathered-Round-the-Sacred-Womble-Conker-for-a-Legendary-BFP-Bring-your-Fur-Babies-and-Pray-for-Merely-a-Hint-of-Menses-its-Just-Shagging-with-science-sometimes-55" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2505402-Its-the-dream-combo-of-carbs-and-couples-massagers-welcoming-pukey-newbies-and-teffrifying-norks-its-GTTs-a-go-go-on-JS-Grads-41" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2490199-just-mumming-9-we-re-suffering-the-curse-of-mel-b-st-syndrome-and-the-rise-of-the-sleep-snatchers-we-ve-all-had-enough-and-would-just-like-a-good-js" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Happy birthday black

kwick you can be exempt from rule one

Happy new year viroids. I'm feeling rather bittersweet about it if I'm honest. Hopefully next appointment at fc will give me some answers/next steps.

Happy New Year Viriods, let's hope it will be a happy one for all of us.

corgi that must have been hard, gx for you that it is the worst over now. I hope the gorgeous rhubarb is still being lovely to you. Ignore fb for a while if you can, I think that is sometimes the worst thing seeing loads of announcements.

just now I have seen your cat, the mental image of its surprised face is even better!

Welcome kwick you are opening up a whole new world of stuff I could be doing to me, all very interesting. Good luck with the magic potion

DS banged his head so hard on the doorframe tonight it left a little dent then turned into a huge egg. Checked with BIL who is a consultant and he reassured us but we'll need to check on him overnight. Its put the willies right up me.

Had very very odd wet cm today, I'm on cd9 so I don't think I can be icing. And dont think it coyld be the ghost jizz from two daus ago! Will try to get the cape on later anyway if I can stop worrying.

MyBlackCat Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful holiday including lots of apres-ski

I am completely ignorant about cm... Sounds like a good contraband to get into though!

catscatsandmorecats Please do not worry about ds - I actually fell down the stairs to the garden, and to the front door and off the roof of the VW camper van we used to have.... And I am still able to tell the tale(s)

My magic potion proved quite hard to find in the end... I went on the Cyros bank - which is in Denmark - as this is the one my clinic uses and there is actually very little potion available that is UK viable and CMV negative and with brown eyes... I have been debating changing donor if this IUI does not work but someone said that it is unlikely to be a sperm issue more likely an egg one. For me it was important to have some latino heritage but it seems that there are not many in Denmark!

I love the expression "getting cape on" is that a js thing or have I missed that too? I also like expression "chucka-chucka" - which by the way I have had not a drop of since 2008! and withat bombshell I am going to return to watching re-runs of the bake off!

kwik 1/5th pineapple per day including core from 1dpiui to 5dpiui

What dose of menopur are you on? Are you on a downregging drug too? I was on buserelin for down regging and menopur for stimulation. just wondering what doses you are on if you have 3 follicles at day 9. do you know what size the follicles were?

just knowledge is power, remember that.

corgi facebook is hard. I thought long and hard about posting and decided to post something subltle with no picture (though dh kind of defeated the point by posting the scan pic himself. Wasn't happy with him but couldn't really stop him either). What i found helped was to remind myself that these peoples pregnancies did not affect my chances of getting pregnant. There is not a limited pool of babies that they are stealing before we get to get there! It may not help you but know you are not alone on the fb thing, and sooo many of us get it.

Trying not to read into this but my boobs feel like rocks. They are so sore it hurts to brush against them. I can get sore boobs just before af but they've never been this bad. I'm due to test on Monday its killing me.

I have proper skittle tits atm as well, but I'm repeatedly telling myself that it's because AF is ??due to arrive, and NOTHING ELSE.

Happy new year viroids! Sending everyone positive vibes for a bfp and baby filled 2016!

According to ovia my cycles, I'm supposed to be icing this weekend but DH has the most unattractive man flu I'm not sure I can face dtd! I'm still awaiting the return of my sex drive after DS was born, think we must have only done it 4 times since June! I'm hoping icing hormones might make me feel sexy.
Feel like a terrible JSer atm

Happy birthday BlackCat hope it's been a good one

Argh lil just read your message about not over doing it... Couple of bottles of champagne later I think I might have over done it wasn't helped by a pregnancy announcement on the night!! I hadn't realised why it made me mildly sad/jealous instead of just happy for them until I read your comment about a limited pool of babies lil.. I need to remember that because I think I was feeling that a little! Very surprised at myself, never thought I'd feel that. Haven't even been bloody trying that long!

Happy new year everyone!

Happy new year all.

Beautiful corgi and beautiful kitty. Animals make me happy.

Checking in, and out for the wedding....will pop back on next week and try to catch up.

Good luck to all in 2ww. Hoping some honeymoon shagging does the trick for me this month.

Oh and fb- can do one. I've renamed it brag-book. Not just babies but everything- look at my designer handbag! Look at my Tiffany necklace! Good for you for having beautiful things but really the only reason for posting it is to show how well you're doing....its not like it brightens anyone else's day. Rant over. Watch me be a total twat now and post all my wedding photos next week.

Canters best of luck for your wedding and getting the cape on afterwards!

Lildottie your words of wisdom are so...well... Wise! I was definitely thinking there was a limited pool of babies as well as a limited pool of husbands! Maybe I am wrong on both counts!

So I have a scan today - day 11 - last scan 2 days ago I had 3 follicles - dominant one at 15mm. I am not downregging just stimulating growth with 225 of Menopur every 2 days (4 injections so far). I am not feeling so great... Tbh have not been so good since injections started and I do hope the massive puss ball near my right armpit is just an unlucky coincidence & not some random side effect.

I have been taking vitamins since May - 7 Seas "Trying for a baby" - they are no more expensive than others and come in lovely purple box. I also take vit D (as have been deficient in past) & vit B complex.

Okay will report back later on!

Happy new year viroids!

Happy birthday to black and happy wedding day to canters
What an exciting start to the year for the viroids.

And hello to Kwick (and any other new viroids/any lurkers hiding in the wings).

I've had a tough start to the new year. My grandad was taken into hospital on new years eve. Issues with breathing. He's hopefully coming out today. I'm waiting on a call now...

I have no other news.. jizz is being received. Not convinced I have ovulated after all but trying to stay positive. Now all the Christmas festivities are over with I really am going to get stuck back in to losing weight. I've put on a few pounds over Christmas...!

With the Facebook related posts... I've decided to limit my time on Facebook. I find Facebook makes me feel rubbish and down a lot of the time, but it is such a great way of staying in touch with some people... definitely need to limit it though, it seems to sap a lot of my time and make me feel bad about myself.. (so why is it so damn addictive?)

lil you lovely wise viroid, I needed to hear this pool of babies idea! Will keep that in mind. Trying to think of good NYRs, can't think of any except not to go too TTC-crazy but we all know how that goes! Maybe should just settle for exercising more and being kinder to my liver.
I have tried to give up alcohol before but I just got too miserable. So thinking will just stick to a glass of wine/gin here and there.
ain I know Facebook is so fake but it's hard not to compare yourself to the stuff people put on social media! Thinking will delete the app and not go on for a while.
kwick have you seen a doctor about this pus ball just to make sure it's not a carbuncle or something??

Hello everyone!

Happy new year. Hopefully 2016 is the year of babies for us all!

I was so sick of facebook, so I decided to go facebook free in 2016! I had a couple friends due babies (very imminently) and although I am very happy for them, the constant pregnancy talk and all the baby pictures on facebook get me feeling down too, so I've deactivated and I will be looking forward to seeing babies in person where I can get a cuddle too! rather than on a screen.

Anyway, I'm back to lurking! Good luck acquiring BFP's viroirds!

Also ain I forgot to say I hope your grandpa is OK!

Ain I am sorry to hear about your grandfather and I hope you have heard back now and it is good news.

WTF is a carbunkle????? Clearly something I will spend the rest of the day googling!!! Right now I have a clearsil pad* on the area. The nurse at the fertility clinic took a look and said if it did not go away then to see a doctor... It normally takes 2 weeks to get an appointment so may try calling on Monday. Last time I saw GP - I never see the same one twice - was to be told that I would not get NHS funding for fertility treatment and that in Amsterdam natural IVF is when a girl from the countryside gets drunk has a one night stand and finds herself pregnant...

Okay so here are my results: day 11 scan 4 follicles 16, 13, 10 and less than 6. Lining 11mm with lots if muccus - which apparently is a good thing and a side effect of the Menopur. Scanner thinks she may have seen a pollup but not sure. Nurse took bloods - she had to stick needle in 3 times as my veins were so bad... I am black and blue! I just got call from consultant to say that LH has risen so they will be doing IUI tomorrow. She told me to immediately inject Ovitrelle to trigger icing so I have done that.

My pineapple source is pineapple less!!!!!!! What to do??????

So all systems are go!!!! Will have a lovely bath tonight or tomorrow am as then have to hit a dry spell of non bathing for 4 days as per clinics instructions.

*I will admit to a slight mad episode of retail therapy earlier (after scan before call) in Boots.

Happy New Year viriods, and Happy belated Birthday Black hope you had a lovely day and find some decent snow on your ski trip!

Ain I hope you grandad is better and home soon.

7 dpo today and I am totally not obsessing over every tiny twinge, cramp, backache etc my body wants to throw at me. Nope nope nope, much more likely to be gas and twinges from lifting furniture all day . Someone give me a slap!

ain hope your grandad is on the mend

Kwik I'm surprised they are giving you trigger already but my experience is only with ivf, not iui. My largest follies were about 20mm I think when I triggered. I had to keep swimming an extra day to get them up there. I guess they are being guided by the lh surge, which is where it was different for me as I was downrefging so my hcg trigger was my equivalent of surge. Though thinking about it I guess getting it in tomorrow gives it 24 hours to egg release. Sorry I'm rabitting. After 2years in a life guided by fertility treatments I find it interesting.

corgi hope you're doing OK.

Glad my mental analogies are helpful. I spent 2years crying at every pregnancy announcement or vsby picture. It wasnt until after my mc when I sort of gave up believing and hoping it would ever happen for us that I found a way to deal with it so I understand its not easy. Unmumsnettt Hugs for you all.

epilepsy if there was a pg announcement then the extra champers was definitely essential. Don't stress about it. If I'd lived by the TTC rule book I'd have missed countless binges with the girls and about 5 holidays abroad!

lil that actually really helps, must remember no one is taking my baby.

ain hope your grandpa is ok, how scary.

kwick exciting stuff! Keep us updated, I find it fascinating.

Hugs to corgi

Having a nice night round friends drinking champagne. One last blow out before getting healthy. might have had a cigarette

So the deed has been done... It took less that a One Direction song! This time I actually saw my consultant which was nice. She noted on the quantity of muccus and actually had to use something to get past it... That has never happened before! Also magic potion had around 80% motility which they told me was very good! When I bought the last 3 "straws" the embryologist said they had 2 that were of high quality and one not so good, which I bought anyway as I did not want to change donor... Who knows which one this one was!
I chatted a lot with the nurse - she told me that the reason they advise no bathing/swimming for 4 days is due to possible infection... I think I will shower for the whole 2WW.
The consultant told me to take 75mg of Aspirin daily - which is also new advice.
Nurse told me off for not clearing out Crinone gel every few days... Bloody unpleasant and yucky!
I have eaten pineapple already - was able to source in Waitrose on way back from clinic :)
My kidneys are being kept warm. I shall do some affirmations later on and now I need to find something funny to laugh at!
Lildottie the instruction to take Ovitrelle was based on an LH surge through a blood test - I injected about 20 hours before the IUI. Maths has never been my strong point and I get confused each time regarding egg life and magic potion life but I have to trust the experts and at least this time I have lots of muccus on my side!
Please bear with me as the 2WW craziness sets in!

Yay kwick this is very exciting! Try not to let the crazies get you. Be nice and calm.

Hope everyone is having a lovely day, I've got some serious pre work blues a hangover

Kwick that all sounds very exciting and very positive. I'll have my fingers crossed for you!!!

Thank you for asking about my grandad viroids. He is at home, and is on a pharmacy worth of medication, but he is supposed to hear from the 'breathing team' tomorrow and they are going to visit him at home and reevaluate his medication and stuff...

just I feel your pain about back to work blues... I really don't want to go in tomorrow...

On the plus side I bought a sofa bed futon thing and a chest of drawers to go in our spare room (will be a nursery one day...) the plan is a sofa bed will be nicer (and can stay in there when we finally have a baby) than our current spare mattress on the floor...

Howdy viroids! What a minging rainy evening! Have fire on. Repeat scan today showed empty uterus thank goodness, no extra management required. And she said my ovaries looked fine too. She wasn't sure how bicornuate my uterus was but I think it's hard to tell on a TV scan.
Thinking will put new pjs on and veg out in preparation for on call with lots of pregnant women and babies tomorrow.... Hope everyone else hasn't got back to work blues too badly!

Excited for your wedding canters, have a lovely day! And happy birthday black, enjoy le ski!

Hello all (or should I say viriods?) - hoping to join this thread as I'm definitely one lacking most of the technology available - I have my period calculator app and that's about it but I'm definitely learning a lot from everyone here! I'm definitely trying to take it easy as I had a rough time from a mc so I won't want to get (too) obsessive and get my hopes up.

Age: 36
TTC: #1 (after mc 5 months ago)
Cycle: #1
ETD: 11th Jan