Don't stop us now! We're having such a good time, we're having a ball and BROOKING NO ARGUMENT!

[QueenMolotov]

You can't beat a Freddie Mercury-themed title to get a new thread going

Hello AF, right on time as usual. So there we are then. Ivf time

Morning lovelies.

Heavy bleeding this morning so looks like another miscarriage. I feel fine at the moment but am sure it will hit me later. It's too annoying - I'd arranged everything around having treatment in Jan/Feb and now because of this we'll probably have to wait until April to start . I think I'm going to suggest we stop trying naturally. It's clearly not going to work and I'm absolutely sick of the waiting.

It was nice to be pregnant while it lasted, but come on universe, cut us some fucking slack here.

Keep. Scratch this cycle?

Oh Imps, I'm so, so sorry Here is a hand to hold, and a hug x

And sorry for you, too, keep

Oh, imps. There's no real words that can be of any real comfort but I am very, very sorry. And for you too, keep. Sending you both lots of hugs and cake.

Oh imps I didn't see that. Fuck fuck FUCK. I'm so sorry. Are you sure it'll mean they have to delay? That's just an additional slap in the face isn't it?

As for me I'm OK. I've never conceived naturally in 4.5 years (OK, -9 months) so I have zero expectations. I just feel a bit flat, though suppose I should be excited. Yes, scratch this cycle, I'll phone to book as soon as proper bleeding, prob tomorrow. It'll be 22/24th!

Well I just had a little adventure. Last night and this morning I've been feeling pains in my left-hand side, very much like ovulation pains. They've been there constantly and have had moments when they've been stronger, although they've never been excruciating. I figured that I ought to get it checked out, as I was a bit concerned that the pain on one side only, combined with heavy bleed last week and bleeding now could mean an ectopic pregnancy so I took myself along to the EPU. Happily it doesn't look like an ectopic, which is a relief. My cervix is still closed so either I miscarried last week and it's closed up again, or I'm about to. I genuinely don't think I MCd last week so I think it's to come. Luckily I'm at home this weekend, so I can just ride it out here.

Bloody impressed with the EPU though - hardly any wait and really nice staff - not cloying or patronising, just very matter of fact in a sensitive way.

Keep, AF is always a gut-kicker, expectations or no expectations of a BFP. She's an absolute cowbag.

Did they say there's no chance you won't Mc? Glad of course it's not ectopic but

Although I would say that the examination was a bit ouchy. What do they actually do exactly with those examinations? Not had anything that ouchy throughout the whole of IVF/smear etc.

They said nothing about there not being a chance of not MC, although they didn't say it would 100% happen either - they were completely silent on the point. They just said that they would look at my bloods and depending on what they look like they will ask me to come back for an ultrasound. I hugely respect them for not saying there's a possibility I won't MC - in these sorts of situations, sometimes the worst thing to have is hope.

Was anyone with you, Imps?

Nope just me. It was quite nice actually - a student nurse took the lead of the initial consultation and I was the first patient she'd ever dealt with directly! Hopefully I was a good one to start her off on.

As long as they took care of you. We're all here for you xxx

Thanks Mol - what would I do without my Brookers?

Just got blood results back - HCG is 479 which seems v low for 5w4. Will have another blood test on Sat morning but I expect the levels will have dropped by then.

But at least there was some HCG there I suppose!

Oh, bless you Imps, I feel so sad for you x You will have a child, please don't lose hope. You get pg - your babies just need help to hang on in there. IMSI will be the intervention you and Mr.I need.

Should the worst happen over the next few days, is there anyone IRL with you? Even if you'd prefer to be alone, is someone there on standby?

Sorry, just realised my last post seems somewhat gloomy. Of course there is HCG there. Brooking it's a good result for your next blood test xx

Oh yes, I have lots of folk over this weekend Mol - will be a great distraction :)

imps you rock. I'm so sorry you've been dealt this shitty hand, and I'm really hoping that it's not a miscarriage. Lots of love

Oh imps I'm so sorry. I don't want to get your hopes up but I'm not sure 479 is so low that there's absolutely no chance, but the only way to know whats happening is the 2nd blood test. Brooking so hard for you and hoping that if this doesn't work it won't delay the ivf too much. Big hugs

Bit confused though, how do they know its not ectopic if they didn't scan you?

They had a good poke about and said that it wasn't hard around my fallopian tube which is a promising sign. You're right though, they won't 100% know without a scan. Good news is that the pain has gone away that side - it's now bang in the centre of my fanjo and up my bum!

Morning lovely brokers, especially imps, good luck for today's blood test

Scratch booked for evening of the 22nd :)

Oooooh what a Christmas treat Keep!! BFP booked for not longer after that :)

Got to hospital a bit early as they only open at 8.30. Haven't actually passed embryo remains yet but am still bleeding. I expect that will happen today as last time I bled for 2 days before actually miscarrying. Still got quite a lot of pain - not cramps, more actual sore pain, a bit like I imagine an infection would feel like. Will obvs mention it to them.

What are your weekend plans all?

Is mrimps with you? If it has to happen I hope it's quick

We are putting up our fake tree today and going to the brum Christmas market with friends. Ooh and a date night tonight - rare treat

Mr Imps is at home making a cheesecake with my niece who's staying with us. Although that said they're probably both still asleep.

I really am absolutely fine - this has been far easier to deal with than first MC which was more of a shock. And I know that what's to come is totally survivable.

Am also thinking that April may in fact be a better start date for IVF - we're having some building work starting then which makes a perfect excuse for WFH/taking random days' holiday.

So am all good and deffo looking forward to a few mulled wines this Christmas :)

That's the spirit love x