Don't stop us now! We're having such a good time, we're having a ball and BROOKING NO ARGUMENT!

[QueenMolotov]

You can't beat a Freddie Mercury-themed title to get a new thread going

May I ask what rat smacking means?

Sorry, it's probably really obvious but I have newbie syndrome

We have likened TTC to the game of smack the rat, it's all about timing.

We do have a few terms and acronyms that we have developed here and don't mind explaining them so please feel free to ask if we say anything else you are unsure about

I now love smacking the rat at summer fetes and giggle uncontrollably (to the bemusement of anyone I am with). DH does know about you all and has referred to the Brookers as my "imaginary friends" but I've met at least one so I know that not everyone is a hairy handed trucker in real life (unless Pasta had good gloves on...)

Anyway, as Imps said, I've been a Brooker for a number of DC now, for all except DS, and it has, as with us all, been a bit of a journey.

My first Brooking Baby was DC2/DD1, who we lost at around 5 months gestation due to hydrops due to Turner's. She went down in Brooking histry as Pasta had also had her BFP that day, but there was more excitement to come.

DD2 and DD3 followed in stressful but ultimately happy pregnancies. My BFP came on the day that came to known in Brooking history (wistful look into middle distance) as the Tripe Whammy, as there was 3 BFPs that day!

Not long after that, I was diagnosed with likely premature ovarian failure, which came as a little bit of a shock. Now I really, really know that I have been so blessed with each and every baby and there have been so many Brookers who have struggled to have any, although merely being a Brooker means that it is just a matter of time obviously, but it has been a long and ongoing journey (aargh, using it again, sorry!) for so many around here, and I am really conscious of how undeservedly lucky I am.

Anyway, we thought if we wanted to have more, we'd better take this last chance to see if anything would happen, and today I had my dating scan with DC5. Lots of tests still to happen but, at the moment, things look good so going to try to enjoy that for a bit.

As always, I really hope that everyone gets their Brooking Baby. I know that Imps is away at the moment, but her gymnastic skills when there is a BFP is legendary and I know I'm not the only one just waiting to reciprocate when she gets hers!

molotov, I read some study on the internet so it must be true about how chocolate was good for pregnant women so I think that it is a good idea to get on with the chocolate eating! Hope AF stays away though.

Gosh, that was long. Really had better go and actually do something so it doesn't look like I spent the whole of nap time on FB or MN!

That you for explaining I know it's probably really tedious to do!

CD4 here, I want to get past my ovulation time so I can feel a little bit excited even if it's all for nothing.

I sometimes struggle to be productive elsewhere in my life until then

AF came in full force today. Cd1 on cycle 2 of ttc dc3 for me.

Hi Ineeda are you new? Sorry if I missed you

dino congratulations! Glad it's all going well. What was your amh by the way?

Boo mol

Boo indeed, keep. I really was willing it away this month.

At least I can indulge in some without feeling guilty this evening (and the next couple of weeks). And we can try again this month (ttc sex is fun atm). I just need to remember to keep my cool. I wish I was one of those women who just gets insta-pregnant, but I'm just not. And I need to remember that if I don't get pg, it wasn't meant to be.

I also need to try and stop being pessimistic!

How is everyone?

That's really shitty Imps, so sorry to read this x The way I see it, you are a whisper away from a BFP that sticks around, and IMSI will be the way for you and Mr.Imps to get it. Please have some and from me.

That's the way I see it too Mol. I just can't believe that sperm is meeting egg after all these years of nothing! Although that said, for the 3 years or so before my MC last year, I hardly ever tested so I may well have had more chems that I knew nothing about - I would have just assumed I got the ov date wrong.

Onwards and upwards I say!

Re. Imps' question about if we're all well: as it turns out, I have asthma. Had the diagnosis last week after some tests and a drug trial, prompted by an amazing HCP who was curious about that run of bad health I had during the spring and summer. I'm on proper medication for it now and it's helping a lot.

Anyway, I did some reading about it and it turns out that there was a Danish study conducted a couple of years ago which demonstrated that asthma delays conception for women who have it and are untreated. It could be because it affects how often you have The Sex because you feel so ill, or, as it is an inflammatory condition, it is likely that the inflammation occurs in areas aside from the respiratory system (ie. the reproductive system) by inflaming the uterus and/or Fallopian tubes, making implantation difficult.

I don't know exactly how long I've had asthma for, but it made for some simultaneously stark-yet-comforting reading. I mean, I'd been very ill with a serious infection for a few weeks before conceiving dd1 and had been taking a long course of very strong antibiotics: any inflammation/infection/most of my immune system was deaddeadead, then BAM! I was pg the first cycle after coming off antibiotics. Then, we conceived dd2 in summer, a season that is kinder to asthmatics (so I suppose I'm thinking any inflammation would have been lower then ... although I had a HSG about 6m before conceiving dd2 which showed a normal uterus/fallopian tubes).

I'm starting to go off on a tangent now, but this stuff has been on my mind all day. I could be making arbitrary connections, but it did strike a chord with me. I would consider there to be truth to it if I did conceive within the next few months.

That's the thing with chemical pregnancies, or missed miscarriages, isn't it: women have them and many never know. I bet you're right Imps - I bet you have conceived more times than you know about.

The thing is, you do get pg. You have done so more than once. The trick is just to get one of your little babies to hang on in there for a few more weeks. It will be done, you'll see x

Ooooh Mol now that is interesting. I have read that women can conceive more easily when they're ill because their immune system is down. In fact I think this is what the intralipid drips are designed to do - weaken the immune systems so that the body is less likely to fight off the embryo. Sorry to hear about the asthma, but it's great that you have treatment now. What made you/them think you had it?

Yes, I take great heart in the fact that I do get pregnant! It's either the dodgy fragmented sperm which are causing the embryo to stop developing, or my body stopping them implanting/staying put - either way there should be something to overcome the problem. We WILL have a baby at some point and I am brooking NO argument. I just wish we might have known this before starting IVF so we could have started with the treatment sooner. Oh well, there's really no way anyone could have known so that's that really!

imps that sucks, truly sucks. I'm sorry. It is very weird you having these chemicals now, but I do recall you have longish cycles so as you say maybe you always did. I do feel there's something about the immune system - I never get ill. My doctor doesn't believe in all that jazz though... So we will have a go without

Glad you had such a lovely time with mrimps. You guys rock, but you'll get your family by hook or by crook no stealing one from the ward though ;)

mol glad you're being treated, and hope it works out soon!

Thanks keep

Imps, I've had recurring chest infections, some of which have been serious and involved hospital admissions. I do wonder how no-one has ever spotted it before, but I'm glad it has been now and that I have the medicines needed. It's all still trial and error, but definitely under management now!

My dd2 was talking to her teacher today and after class, the teacher came to me and said 'Little Molotov said 'I wish my Mummy would have another baby!' She was talking about it for ages, apparently!

No pressure!

Dd1, on the other hand, said that she just wants dd2 as her sister. She flits from wanting to be a big sister again, to just wanting things to stay as they are. I just want to keep everyone happy, but that isn't easy!

I should stop asking, really. I get excited but I should just keep quiet.

Ah, dd1 said this morning (unprompted by me) that she was being grumpy yesterday about a baby.

Phew. Onward, then.

Hi everyone how are you all?

Just thought id let you all no im not expecting anymore :( started misscarrying last night. Im literally in bits i dont no how people pick themselves up from this and try again i literally dont think i can. I cant think of anything worse than trying for abother baby at the minute! :( xx

Oh lolly no, I'm so sorry. I hope things are not too dreadful physically for you, try looking on the miscarriage board here for tips/support. As for trying again, this isn't the time for all that, you've just got to get through it the best you can, and grieve for this baby. I'm so so sorry x

mol to be frank I think it's a really bad idea to discuss with the kids - they'll get their hopes up, they won't understand if it takes some time, plus it's not their decision. Sorry but I think you'd be better just keeping quiet!

Love to all. lolly it can be a hideously awful journey to have a baby, and it's not fair that it can be so hard. Stick with us, it does make it a little easier xx

I disagree to a certain extent keep. Whilst I agree that adding to our family isn't our existing dc's decision, it is a decision which will impact upon their lives which is why the subject has arisen occasionally. No promises have been made. I am also painfully aware of long long ttc can take.

So sorry about your loss lolly. How very sad for you I think you just need to allow yourself time to grieve the loss before making any decisions about ttc again.

Congratulations dino I Think you were a bit too subtle with that announcement and almost everyone missed it. :o

lolly so sorry that this one didn't stick. there's no right or wrong way to feel so don't worry about Thinking you never want to do this again at the moment. I hope there is someone looking after you at home.

imps rubbish news from you too, but the IMSI and tons of drugs will work.

Not much happening here, Another of my colleagues has announced that his wife is pregnant - I Think I must be sitting at the wrong desk, or drinking the wrong water. It doesn't look like I'll be able to avoid baby talk at work for a while.

Yes of course it will impact them mol but you'll have to decide - they are only little and have no real concept of what it'd mean they'll just be thinking of if they want a baby to cuddle, not of finances, TTC stress, health risks, or all the long term loveliness of a sibling. I don't think yabu to see what they think, but I do think it's not fair to make them think it's their choice, or to encourage talking about it in my opinion. Sorry!

lolly are you off work?

Gah beedle. At least he won't have a bump!

Sorry mol ignore me - none of my business!

Nope still working im a nanny parebts wouldnt be able to find someone to cover me short notice so i dragged myself up this morning and carried on admitingly its killing me im in pain feeling really crap and just want to go home. Thanks everyone for your messages lovely to no you all care xx