The Bumsnet Bus: It doesn't matter how long your journey, or how many twists and turns you've taken, there can only be one destination: BFP! Wipe your flaps and jump aboard!

[eskimoflo]

Thought I'd get this party started. Here's the stats: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sHG9PPsOs0yIqgR-o2UXX_fdlCQXdVNLfmPpNOePPjQ/edit

May this bus yield many BFPs! Hoorah!

Oh lily you poor thing! Very difficult news to take after everything you've been through. Do you want to talk to your sister about your mc? Don't feel you have to justify your reaction if it's not something you want to talk about.
Look after yourself

Lily, I feel desperately sorry for you. Far, far too close to home for a double whammy baby bomb. Do confide in your sister, it will lessen the sting of her news by 70%, I promise

Beans, I'm so chuffed you have a date! You're moving forward!

DizzyN, studies have been conducted which compared the efficacy of temping in pinpointing ovulation when compared to the findings of ultrasound scans.

Temping theories work on the premise that ovulation will occur on the day of the temperature nadir (lowest point) immediately prior to a succession of three higher sustained temps.

However, when US scans were used to pinpoint ov, the nadir-temp theory was only supported by ultrasound confirmation 34% of the time. The bad news is that reliability of opks came out with a relatively low score too.

This is why fertility specialists urge us to throw away the opks and basal body thermometers and just have regular intercourse every 3 days or so throughout the month. Every month. For fucking years.

But those thundercunts can go and swivel, right?

magpie I'm close with my sister, so I don't mind telling her as long as she doesn't tell my mum. She had thought of such a lovely way to tell me, I could tell she was really upset by my reaction. I think I do want her to know that I'm happy for her, genuinely, it's just it would have been so nice to have turned round and said I was as well.

Lily don't blame you for getting upset, that would have been difficult to hear. Might be good if you could tell her, I'm sure she will want to support you and you might feel better having someone to talk to.

Can I ask why you don't want your mum to know lily? I think you should speak to sis, she will totally understand your reaction

Bean my mum can be very pragmatic, and would focus on how the mc would, in her opinion, have been for the best, we really should wait for whatever reasons, that it wasn't a real baby so why am I upset, basically, in the past she has just shown no sympathy or understanding. I should say that in every other aspect of my life she is wonderful and hugely supportive, it's just with ttc that she seems to have an empathy problem. She told me after losing my first at 8 weeks, that is was essentially just a heavy period and really didn't count.

Lily, I'm sending you lots of love. I am truly sorry that you've had to go through that.

Oh Lily - I really feel for you. I reacted similarly to ds in laws announcement then felt immensely guilty for not acting please for them. She understood though because she knows what we're going through, I agree, you should tell your sister.

Opk is darker but not quite positive this morning. I am just praying that a follie is growing and the lining is thickening too!

Lily your Mum sounds like my MIL, she's lovely normally but very practical especially when I comes to pregnancy/TTC. I can understand why you don't want to tell her.

Bird that's so interesting about temping. This TTC thing is so educational, I really do think we should get some sort of qualification after a certain amount of time. BSc (hons) in TTC from the Univeristy of Bumsnet.

Sammy that OPK is looking promising! Did you enjoy your night out?

I did an OPK with FMU in the interests of science (obviously) and still no second line. I know it's irrational but I'm worried that I'm scaring ovulation away with my neediness and desperation.

Lily I'm sending you hugs, I'm not surprised you're so upset. I agree you should tell your sister, I do think it would help

Sammy, the opks's are heading in the right direction yippee!!

Fantastic to see two BFP's for Beaut and Glittery, huge congratulations and well deserved!

I've decided to take a new approach to Ttc, the 'relax and it will happen approach'...because to be honest the stress and heartache each month is crippling me. I've thrown away all my sticks and other paraphernalia and plan to just dtd when the mood takes rather than the forced shagathon we've done for the past 9 months. I know my journey so far has been short compared to some of you ladies (who I am in awe of!), you are all so strong but I don't think I'm as strong as you.

I hope you all get your BFP's real soon brave ladies, you all deserve them so much...and I will be lurking occasionally to check in on you all.

Love to you all x

Morning all

I had a really lovely chat with my sister this morning, she absolutely understood, and turns out this is a very long awaited pregnancy, she just kept it very quiet and didn't tell anyone, for many years. She did suspect why I cried, as she knows how much we want kids.

Now at least when I get my BFP the cousins will be very close in ages, which my sister and I didn't have and always wanted.

Sammy I'm sorry your scan didn't show you more, but interesting that you feel you are heading towards a positive OPK, fingers crossed.

Boris hope you are ok. You will get your BFP soon. I understand about needing a break sometimes though.

Thank you for the congrats Boris, Birdie ,Pixa ,Pug and Hopes
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Sammy that's the darkest my opk got this month so hopefully you are working towards ovulation still.
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Lily* that's lovely about your sister. Obviously not lovely it took her so long but that you have someone so close that understands exactly how you are feeling.

Well DH and I were supposed to be going to a party this weekend. However, MIL is now ill and can't have the boys. We don't usually ask as she has stage 4 cancer but she desperately wanted to take them trick or treating. So now we will take them and then I'm thinking a Chinese, a scary film for DH and I. Some beer for DH & a shloer for me

Lily I'm glad that you have cleared the air a bit with your sister. It always helps to talk about things x x

Sammy Hopefully things are moving in the right direction and a follicle has taken the hint now! FX for you in the next couple of days.

Beaut Scary film night is what we have planned too. We're going round to a neighbours to watch 'The Vatican Tapes'. Hopefully it won't be too scary!

Hopes and Boris Hope that some time-out helps you to get your heads sorted and that you'll both come back to us when you're ready

Ladies, I have a SPOT! Quite a big one on my neck, just under my jawbone... Never get them usually, so I'm hoping that it's the progesterone. No sore boobs yet, so ov may not have happened. Who know?

Eskimo when I say scary it will either have to be super mild or I'll spend most of the film behind a cushion. I'm not a scary film fan but it is Halloween.

Kir I forgot to ask any news ? xx

Birdie - yes you're right, I do usually ov 2/3 days after my positive opk. It's still not a positive tonight but a lot closer than before, so fx for a nicely thickening lining!

Off to my parents tonight, but have a feeling dh has another surprise up his sleeve! Xx

Afternoon all!

sammy that's a fantastic line! Woo! Hope you had a good night last night xx

bird that's interesting.....although I also think it's all down to fate anyway in which case I have no idea why I bother with charting and opks and I might as well give myself a break from worrying about it .

hopes that sounds like a good plan, if no bfp for me this month I'm seriously considering doing the same. Make sure you do pop back to say hello though!

lily I hope you're feeling better now you've spoken with your sister.

magpie I sometimes wonder whether I do the same as every morning I badly want to see a temp rise....? I wouldn't say I'm overly stressed about it though but it just seems that I always seem to ovulate on time whenever I'm distracted with other things. As soon as I start dabbling in opks and obsessing over my charts it feels like ov is late!

eskimo I have no idea what causes spots- however I'm always spotty which I suspect is a symptom of whatever is causing my irregular ovulation.........more than likely hormone related though. So I'm sure your spot is a good sign!!

beaut have a spook-tastic evening!

Evening everyone sorry have not posted felt awful finally feel bit more human today. Thank you for all the congratulations. It was our 10th month trying still feels very surreal and have taken about 8 other tests. My poas addiction is still very much if not more so alive.

Not sure about the bp staying high through pregnancy to be honest. I think it was because I felt dreadful that it was higher. Will see what it is at next docs appointment.

Lily am glad you confided in your sister. Feels such a relief doesn't it.

Eskimo hurrah for big fat spots lol

Keeping my flaps crossed for you kir hope af stays away for ya.

Glittery! Congratulations!

Sammy crossing everything

Huge hugs and gin/schloer/chocolate all round!

Congratulations Glittery, fantastic news

So pleased you have spoken with your sister lily, goes to show I guess we just don't know what other couples have gone through to get their baby even if it does seem like there was no effort involved sometimes.

Glittery what's your due date? I feel the same I can't stop poas or knicker checking.

DizzyN how are you? We had a great evening although DH wanted to watch The Pyramid. I'm worried about nightmares now. I should have just gone to sleep instead of watching it.

STATS*
kirjava, 31, ttc #1, cycle 8, bfp due 6th dec

I'm ok. I wasn't ok yesterday when I started to spot. But onwards...

On the positive- I managed to get 2 days longer on my luteal phase this month, so looking more 'average' now.

Kir sorry about AF good that your LP is getting longer though, fx that this is your cycle.

Glittery glad you're feeling a bit better, take it easy!

DizzyN I've seen quite a few people say they were regular before TTC and then their cycles change. Maybe it's the stress or maybe they just notice the little changes more when they're looking at every detail? Either way it's a nightmare!

Sammy hope you had a good night at your parents. Did DH have another surprise?

Eskimo how's the spot today? I find that those big and sore ones around the chin/jaw area tend to be hormonal, fx it's a positive sign!

Lily really glad you had that chat with your sister, she sounds lovely.

Hopes sounds like a sensible approach. Best of luck!

I'm off out with my parents and DS today then going to a fireworks display in the evening so I'll hopefully stay distracted and not looking at the OPKs every 5 minutes!