The commune is gathering for a sacred BFP! We are worshipping our womble conkers and admiring penis statues, but we're still remembering to jump our miroids at every opportunity! It's Just Shagging 54

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 53 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2457521-Oh-Shagging-Gods-Grant-us-our-Wish-A-Newborn-so-Tiny-to-Squish-By-Shagging-like-Stars-Or-with-Jizz-in-our-Bras-To-the-Disco-in-a-Petri-Dish-its-JS-53?msgid=56749960#56749960" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2444058-Just-Mumming-Thread-7-the-grads-grads-cope-with-walking-own-rooms-and-have-little-time-for-shagging" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Congrats Lil, how exciting!

Ill - really rooting for you and hope it's not the witch. It's not over til it's over.

Pee whereabouts in Greece? Glad you had a lovely break - shame about the witch, but at least you were in the land of feta, which could only soften the blow.

I just got the date for my 12 week scan. Thursday 5th November at 2pm. I'll be 12+1. Eeek.

Ill you're not out until AF arrives, everything crossed for you.

Feathered that's so exciting, bet you can't wait.

Hope you had a lovely holiday pee! I'm very jealous.

We did a 10k charity walk yesterday and my hip has decided it hates me now so feeling decidedly old. Also now in the twot. I think we timed things pretty well but who knows! Need to employ some distraction techniques until 24th.

Oh and that's exciting lil! We won't tell

just didn't AF visit you the day before me? I make it 11 days? When do you normally ice? Think I iced yesterday too.

Went to docs this morning regarding drawn out brown periods and painful sex, going back this aft for swabs and blood test. He said it's probably nothing to worry about but I'm worrying anyway.

Brown spotting has gone though so that's good!

We went to a villa in Corfu –was really lovely with sea views. Lots of time just to chill and read. Really needed it as before we left I'd been putting in the hours at work. I work for myself so need to SLOW down a bit!

The feta cheese did soften the blow. As did Greek white wine ;) Must eat sensibly now though!

Exciting about the 12 week scan •Feathered*, and also a bit nerve wracking I'm sure. But never fear, GX for you!

Keep, try lying on your back on a coffee table/bed/desk pull one knee to your chest and let the other dangle over the edge to stretch out your hip. (This is a hip exercise, not anything kinky!) well done on the 10k walk!

Haha thanks pee, I'll definitely be giving that a go when I get home this afternoon! It's much better than last night, couldn't lift my leg enough to wake up the stairs before bed!----

Oh no, I had what sounds like a similar injury from running a few years ago. It was caused by weak bum muscles and my hip having to do too much work!

That sounds like it could be me! Despite all the best intentions I've really let exercise go out the window. A year ago I was running 5k (not huge amounts but really good for me) and I can honestly say the last few months I've done almost nothing.

Thanks everyone for all the well wishes. So happy for your dark line lil

I'm taking a couple days of work and just trying to get my head right. I don't know how this is going to impact my cycles and TTC again so I'm just trying to figure out what to do now... I think I'll be using contraband to figure out what's happening for the next few weeks.

london you have to do what's right for you ttc wise. Some people need a break before trying again, others need to get straight back to it, myself included. Fwiw my wtf cycle was only 2.5 weeks longer than normal cycle. Took a couple of weeks after bleed finished to settle my hormones before my cycle seemed to start.

I think I'm in the get straight back to it camp. Thanks for letting me know about your cycle right after.

Hi London, glad you're taking some time from work and resting.

I started my MC on 15th June and it continued on and off until the middle of July. I was worried that with the amount and length of the bleeding that it would be a while before my cycles normalised, but I really shouldn't have. I had one full cycle before I conceived again. Hope it's the same for you.

My wtf was only a week longer than normal. I also needed to get back on it, and conceived after three cycles first time, one cycle second.

Any volunteers for the new Fred or do you want me to crack on?

That's really reassuring everyone! i'd read somewhere that right after a mc your are most fertile and it sounds like that was true for all of you which gives me hope

I didn't have a wtf cycle... It was exactly the same in every way as any other month.

Crack on Chat!

Thanks honeysuckle. I hope that my cycle works out quickly for me.

It's here - come on over!

London I hope you're ok, good idea taking a few days off for yourself. I have no helpful advice to add but I am thinking of you

Fill the thread!

London so sorry, try to take it easy. Sending you every good wish

Lil
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