The commune is gathering for a sacred BFP! We are worshipping our womble conkers and admiring penis statues, but we're still remembering to jump our miroids at every opportunity! It's Just Shagging 54

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 53 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2457521-Oh-Shagging-Gods-Grant-us-our-Wish-A-Newborn-so-Tiny-to-Squish-By-Shagging-like-Stars-Or-with-Jizz-in-our-Bras-To-the-Disco-in-a-Petri-Dish-its-JS-53?msgid=56749960#56749960" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2444058-Just-Mumming-Thread-7-the-grads-grads-cope-with-walking-own-rooms-and-have-little-time-for-shagging" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Just wondering if anyone knows if I have a month off the clomid this month will it make any difference? Just don't think I can face ttc this month but obviously if the effects are cumulative I don't want to damage my chances further down the line!
keep well done on being smoke free it's much easier cold turkey as nicotine only takes three days to leave your system it's the habit is harder to break! I tried with all kinds to quit for years finally cracked it could turkey now 8years smoke free!
chat gx for you that af stays away!
Lil how exciting for the scan gx for the time flying!

cori I think dulcet did clomid, you could pm her and ask. I've no experience with it myself. Not sure if tink may know

Sorry cori I don't know. ill might, mountain definitely did clomid. Don't remember dulcet doing it but that doesn't mean she didn't! Happily, mountain and dulcet are now probably far too busy with their newborns to answer the question but if ill comes on she might be able to help

Yes lil burn it, no good comes from digis! And poasing after a scan is the way madness lies you complete loon glad you got a good line today.

Ill has definitely done Clomid. My tiny brain figures the effects are fairly immediate, but I don't know.

Dunno when/if I'll POAS again - Tink when are you flying? Could try again before then...or I might just wait 'til the nausea starts

chat gx for a late showing one for you.

Sorry been a bit absent but feeling a bit blah about ttc. Really need to get on the cock horse as think this is start of fertile week. Being a good js'er though and not contrabanding ran out.

keep I'm super impressed! I've all but stopped but have one sometimes if I drink. Currently reading Alan Carr book so hoping that will cut the tie for good.

Two more friends pregnant, and one that I know is ttc has gone v quiet so think that's another. I feel like I'm being left behind!

Shag just!

Sunday chat, maybe Sunday fmu with frer?

I have the crazies already! I haven't even iced yet! I keep seeing "signs", like a vintage crib, exactly what I'd choose if I could. I have a woo feeling. I am pretty much certifiable

Cori the only cumulative effect I know of is a negative one. The more months you do the more likely your lining will be get too thin, this is why they restrict the number of months you can do it. I seem to have had the opposite reaction and mine was thicker this month.

I'm actually considering having a month off myself as this month it was a lot tougher symptom wise.

Nfmv - the morning cramps I have had day 3 to 7 stopped this morning but came back this afternoon wtf?!? Boobs don't hurt but nipples do. I swear this month is doing my head in. At least I haven't had any more nightmares.

Thanks ill I bit the bullet and took it in the end judging by the fact my periods have become heavier since taking it I'm assuming I too must be having opposite reaction and actually have a thicker than usual lining! My first month was the worst this is my third lot and I haven't even had a hot flash since I took it which is a big improvement maybe the cumulative effect is lessening symptoms with any luck!

Morning viroids.

Sorry the witch got you cori

Are you still in the running chat?

Congratulations again lil! Time will fly until November :)

I'm a bit worried this morning and I need a good shake.

AF been a bit weird ever since coming back after breastfeeding. Very heavy for 3ish days, then stop for a day then brown and light. This has been getting gradually more extreme until this month it was 5 days late, one normal day then stopped for 2 days, then odd brown/bitty and light until yesterday, so days and days. (8?). And I just feel odd.
Don't know if it could be something to do with having 2 sections?

Going to the docs on Monday.

And now for the CRAAAAAZY bit......I'm worried because I went to a psychic years ago who said I'd have 2 children and that I should be very careful keeping up with smears etc and very female health vigilant. I would never go to a psychic these days, but I did it and there we are.
I've had 2 children, I haven't got pregnant again and now AF has gone weird.

What could it be?

yb it's normal. It's certainly nothing sinister. My periods recently have ranged from 26-36 days apart. This month it lasted 10 days, with spotting and a day's break in the middle. I am under the care of an endocrinologist and fertility consultant. Both of whom say this is normal. Stop panicking, it's nothing to do with the psychic, you are healthy and will have another baby. Repeat this in your head as your mantra until you believe it!

YB could well be normal, but it's worrying you so seems sensible to get someone to have a look. My periods have changed post pregnancy - now much lighter, shorter cycles. Can't complain (well I can, and I will) - as a teen I would faint on CD1.

Deal, Tink. Sunday it is. Still in for now, weird dark brown spotting messing with my head. What was the cot like?

Had my scan - there's a tiny baby in there!! Measuring a day ahead at 8+3! With a galloping heartbeat! Burst into tears in the room (which was, ominously, the same room I had when it all went tits).

Now another 4-5 weeks of waiting with baited breath for next scan and hoping it all keeps cooking nicely until then.

feathered that's wonderful! I have a chart i'm looking at every day to watch mc risk % go down. Just checked 8 + 3 - 2.2% risk for you now, and it drops to its plateau of 2% at 9w1d. I reckon you can relax a bit now. Hearing the heart beat is a really good sign. So pleased for you.

Thanks Lil! I'll breathe out at some point today, with those stats in mind, I promise!

Feathered that's wonderful news. I'm so glad the scan was all good. Hopefully you can relax a little bit now and enjoy your birthday weekend!

feathered to put it in perspective for you mine was 29.2% when I tested on Monday, already down to 23.6% today (4+3)

Congratulations feathered!!

Oh, lil where did you see that chart? I actually came across figures that said that the risk drops even further if you've seen a heartbeat on ultrasound-- I suppose the general stats includes women who don't have their first can until week 12. Anyhow, for those that have seen a heartbeat, the risk drops to less than 1% by week 9.

www.easybabylife.com/miscarriage-statistics-by-week.html

I hope that makes those of you further along feel better!

I'm at 5+2 but am arranging a private scan for week 9 where I'll also do the NIPT test (panorama). That way, assuming all is well, I can share the news with my family when I go home to the US for Thanksgiving even though I'll only be 11 weeks.

Here is the original research:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18310375

That's great news feathered gx for next few weeks x

Fantastic news Feathered. Hope you manage to have a relaxing and very enjoyable birthday this weekend now.

Wonderful Feathered! Such a relief :) Enjoy that birthday

Oooff, those words "tiny baby in there" have just made me come over all emosh!! So pleased for you feathered glad you picked today - what a wonderful birthday pressie, sounds like your lo is going to be a goodun!

London i think 11 weeks is fair game to shout it from the roof tops!

I hope the next few weeks fly by for you both!!

NFMV: I think i may have iced early again. AF was still spotting even yesterday but the ewcm that was mixed with it EWW has gone and my half positive opk from yesterday is now blank. Eek! This means that I've started icing even before af has properly finished, meaning the shagging is limited. We dtd on Wednesday night and will have to tonight but that's all so far this cycle. Hopefully it was a false surge and I'll get another one early next week when my bonkers fanjo is a bit more of an inviting place Decided not to bother with temping as we'll be away for 2 weeks so this cycle isn't really conducive to thermometers. Hopefully that wasn't it, was looking forward to a few fertile days in the sun Not going to know for sure i guess.

London mine is a culmination of data so non specific really but I liked it mapped your own dates its here

Will def check out your links though, thanks!
What's nipt?

Oh and chat, the crib of which we shall not speak was an old fashioned oak rocker affair, painted up to be shabby chic. Needs a bit of work but would be right up my street if i could find a use for it. The same sort of size as a moses basket on a stand so only good for a newborn but very lovely all the same. I suppose little cat might like it....
They also had a vintage pram but it was about £3k and where i live, it would never make it through the mud and animal shit! Was cute though, with a hand painted pink rose on each side and a handmade black rainhood.

lil NIPT is a blood test that is 99.9% accurate for Downs, Edwards and Patau’s and the panorama version gives 0% false positives. I’m at Guys and St Thomas and they offer it to their NHS patients for a hefty fee. It is much more accurate than the traditional 12 week scan / blood test but poses none of the risks of an amniocentesis- its 100% safe.

Because of my trip home, I was getting an early private scan done before my 12 week scan anyway to see a heartbeat and reassure myself everything is okay. I realized the clinic I’d chosen for the scan on Harley Street does the test as well so have booked to do it with them as it’s the same price as what St Thomas charge but includes the early scan.

The test is accurate from as early as 9 weeks so I can do it on November 6th and have the results back before my 12 week scan and before we go home to the US for Thanksgiving. Also, because it’s a DNA based test, we can find out the sex if we want to!