The commune is gathering for a sacred BFP! We are worshipping our womble conkers and admiring penis statues, but we're still remembering to jump our miroids at every opportunity! It's Just Shagging 54

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 53 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2457521-Oh-Shagging-Gods-Grant-us-our-Wish-A-Newborn-so-Tiny-to-Squish-By-Shagging-like-Stars-Or-with-Jizz-in-our-Bras-To-the-Disco-in-a-Petri-Dish-its-JS-53?msgid=56749960#56749960" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2444058-Just-Mumming-Thread-7-the-grads-grads-cope-with-walking-own-rooms-and-have-little-time-for-shagging" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

I think I'm going to plan a lovely holiday for early next year, something I probably wouldn't book if pg. Got to have something to look forward to if I'm not pg!

I've already HAD the lovely holiday that I wouldn't have been able to do if pg! And I want to start a part time MSc this year so need to save a few quid for that. We can afford skiing (DH is obsessed so he'll go even if I don't) but probably not another fancy holiday.

Up-duffed not updated! Stupid autocorrect...

I'm shattered. I've never been so tired. Off to bed before 9:30 on a Friday night...rock and roll!

The last two summers we've had nice holidays that when we booked them we thought would be our last without children..... hope we don't get a third

I've lost count of the holidays we thought would be our last. If this ivf doesn't work I'm booking my dream trip to Italy traveling for a month. Fuck it!

Good call Lil. But if not, you can always take the sprog at a later date :) I've booked a ski holiday today. Finland just before Easter. I only ever ski part time (mornings usually - my knees won't take a full day), so I wouldn't mind just doing lovely mountain walks and drinking hot chocolate. DD is very excited.

To be fair that's my worry, I will resent the holiday! Work want me to do some training that will be a two year commitment and ultimately a big step up career wise but I don't want a bloody career step up I want a baby! Glittering or as much of a glittering as education offers career seems a poor substitute!

I know I don't have to choose but I don't want to even be around to be able to do the training!

Have also been asked to do another role alongside mine which is a step up, but for no more money, apparently the prestige is enough

All these holidays sound amazing! Slightly jel, we are farmers and don't get holidays

Bit confused today. AF started very lightly, had one day of actual AF and now almost gone again.

And I'm still symptom spotting. I've got the extreme tiredness, random waves of nausea, weird dreams, really sensitive to smells. I was 5 days late too which is very rare if not unheard of.

But rationally I know it can't be. Only dtd once last month too (although I think in fertile window).

Just being silly! Sorry viroids xx

Maybe you should poas to put your mind at rest. Let's just put this week down as a write off for sane thinking. really hope your weird af turns out better than mine

I was thinking of you just. Hope you're beating up

I might POAS tomorrow or the next day if AF doesn't come back. It'll be negative though, I did 2 tests when AF was 3 and 4 days late and they were bfn. Just can't shake the feeling.

*bearing up

Ooh Finland sounds exciting Chat. I love skiing so it's hard to say what I'd do in your position Sock. Perhaps a one on one lesson with an amazing teacher would give you the passion. You could try this one last time and if it doesnt grab you then accept it's not for you. Is it a resort with other things to do?
My friend is having a ski weekend birthday this year. I'm planning on still going but hopefully won't be in a position to ski (I'm competent enough to ski in v. early pg, but not at 5 months!). I'll just go for walks and swims and eat all the cake before they get back to the chalet.
YB do you have any tests? It should show up by now if you are so could be worth a try. Promise we won't get all giddy again at the piss party.

Wow I'm slow at typing

We haven't decided where we're going yet fruit - so far it's always been the French Alps (Portes de Soleil, La Plagne, Serre Chevalier, 3 valleys, Grand Massif) but we might go further afield this year, perhaps Austria/Switzerland or even Canada! I've had lessons each year, started with ESF but have then had other group lessons, private group lessons, no one-to-one yet but it might be worth a try. My technique is decent for blues and most reds, but I am veeeerrrryyyyy slow and don't have the confidence or fitness for anything tougher.

Beating up

Forgot to say big cat came home from the vet today finally! Unfortunately he's only home for the weekend and back in on Monday. They can't stabilise his blood sugar. Feeling very worried but vet thought taking him home and him being more relaxed might help. On the upside I managed to inject him with no freaking out about the needle so feeling quite proud of myself!

Just POAS. Bfn.

Weird AF - 1
Me - 0

That's great news Just, about the cat and the needle!

How are you doing Lil?

YB
Good that big cat is back home for the weekend Just for giving him the needle.
Sock confidence is tricky to fix. I always sing out loud to get down a difficult slope! As technique improves the level of fitness needed decreases so that's something to look forward to. A couple of years ago I bought some elastic band things to do leg exercises outside of the season. I've never used them but I'm going to try to find them and get started wish I wasn't so lazy

Boo, YB, she's messing you around properly this month. Not fueling the crazy at all but this is exactly how my last pregnancy started. Eventually got a BFP on about CD35-6 and had bleeding/spotting until 12 weeks. Most disconcerting.

How was your first night back with the cat, Just?

You sound like my ideal ski holiday partner, Sock. I will happily ski blues and pretty reds all week. I have no desire to go fast, I much prefer taking photos :) We usually go to Austria or Switzerland - only done France the once. I would love to go to Canada.

Sorry Yb

Cat was super snuggly thank you

A new low..... Someone has just announced on Facebook that they are going to be a grandmother...... with a scan picture - I have no words.

Sorry sock this whole thing is one big head fuck.

just I have a similar job contemplation. In the new structure I could apply for the job I am basically doing or a new role above of it. As I plan not to be there for a while and the stress it could involve I'm not sure if I will apply for what would be a promotion. On the other hand if it turns out we can't have kids I may need a promotion to distract, motivate me and give me something else to focus on.

Swinging from it hasn't worked to there's no reason for it not to have worked one. I hate twots with hope! Lol

Well done on the needle just. Glad he's home for snuggles for a bit.

black ugh. As a gp the scan pic is unnecessary. Idiots. Go for the promotion if u think u would enjoy it. If u end up on assisted conception road you could be waiting a year, then if it works another 9months, so almost 2 years in new position. And if it doesn't work first time the extra pay will help pay for more treatment!

Scan picture unnecessary on fb for anyone! For a gp is ridiculous.

lil hugs for you, worst twot ever.

bit quiet on here today? what you all been doing?

Nfmd: i've made pizza - well, not the bases, but the sauce and the toppings. #stillcounts

nfmss(symptom spotting): back twinges, front twinges, cm, huge knockers (even dh has noticed) but nothing that can't be explained by the 800mg a day progesterone i'm shoving inside me. Lacking symptoms compared to last time include funky smelling wee, constant thirst and feeling a bit bleugh. Not feeling hopeful.