The commune is gathering for a sacred BFP! We are worshipping our womble conkers and admiring penis statues, but we're still remembering to jump our miroids at every opportunity! It's Just Shagging 54

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 53 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2457521-Oh-Shagging-Gods-Grant-us-our-Wish-A-Newborn-so-Tiny-to-Squish-By-Shagging-like-Stars-Or-with-Jizz-in-our-Bras-To-the-Disco-in-a-Petri-Dish-its-JS-53?msgid=56749960#56749960" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2444058-Just-Mumming-Thread-7-the-grads-grads-cope-with-walking-own-rooms-and-have-little-time-for-shagging" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Ironing = yawn!

We're having pizza too, although I didn't even make the sauce. I'm going to add toppings though. #stillcounts

Symptoms don't mean shiz Lil, this you know. Every pg is different. How many dpet are you now?

Been out with hubby then over the a friends house to prep before a road trip tomorrow.

Now just relaxing on the sofa watching tele before husband takes over the TV to put the rugby on.

Long walks in the old abbey interspersed with wailing. Classic PMT, which I never used to get Not hopeful either.

NFMD: Spag bol. DH consumed eight adults' worth. Pizza tomorrow after his 'ginormous running'. Won't be making the base, sauce or toppings, but will order in French and pay in cash. #Pushingit?

Been at work and got home to PILs who are staying tonight. We're going for a meal in a bit so over come upstairs to have some peace and quiet get ready.

Lil you really never know, anything could be happening in there. Positive thinking

I've not over

Day of cleaning today. Got everything done, which means a day of laziness tomorrow!
Steak for dinner tonight, having wine and movies with DH, and maybe a game of scrabble later! We never get the chance to have a drink together in the house, so it's a treat

I have finally caught up! Apologies if I've missed replying to something.

lil Sorry to hear that you had none to freeze. Your pictures look amazing though. Bed down little embies. You'll be kept nice and warm for the next 9 months. As others have said every pregnancy is different, so try not to compare the symptoms to last time.

Farmer how are you doing with the non-existent AF? When did you say you came off BC?

London Congrats on the BFP!

Sock Yay for clomid.

Keep Hope you're feeling okay my lovely. How are you doing regarding weight? You could be my weight loss buddy if you like.

Just

Lots of ski talk going on. I've never been. Would like to give it a go sometime, but DH doesn't want to. Will have to find someone else to go with me...

I don't really have any updates of my own to make. Bad week. Spent a lot of it wanting to cry. I have felt exhausted for the entire week. Odd cramping that a couple of times has had me curled up in a ball in pain, only for a couple of minutes at a time, if that. Some feeling sick - For a couple of days it was a feeling sick like you would expect to feel if you had binged on chocolate - that kinda sickly feeling. Weird dreams most nights this week - mostly bad ones - either myself or a family member has been really ill or had an accident in them. Apart from the one last night that had me waking up this morning wanting a roast chicken dinner for breakfast! My very light bleed that I had was at the end of August. I'm hoping that another bleed of some description is on the way.

Spent today doing very little. Caught up on GBBO. I'm actually up to date now after watching 3 episodes back to back lil are you still behind? I won't say any spoilers just in case... I cried this afternoon because I have lost an earring and because DH was annoying me about eating. I have had no appetite this week at all really. All I had eaten today was a piece of toast. Finally had some soup to keep him happy.

I've currently got on a programme on about Amy Whinehouse - I haven't changed channel since I was watching a programme about cats. It's currently having a negative effect on me. I should probably turn it off, but for some reason I keep watching...

Oh yeah, one to make you laugh... I also lost my phone the other day... Found it in the fridge... smacks forehead

Went shopping this afternoon. Had a whole list of useful stuff to get, like curtains, loo roll holders, extra oven shelf etc. Came back with a few things on the list, some fancy cheese and French sausage. We also had to interrupt our trip to go for coffee with a friend who was visiting the town (/city? I'm not actually sure!) - lovely to see her and her little boy but we chatted until half the shops were closed!

Missed most of Strictly and then had to turn over for the rugby. What a shitty game.

It was rubbish wasn't it Sock. I went for a bath in disgust after 60 minutes.

Brussels marathon today, great fun cheering everyone on. DH did the half in sub 2hrs so he's in a great mood - pizza and wine tonight and we may try and save the world. TWOT, what TWOT?

Who won the Scrabble, Fluffy?

Got my honorary contract now, I'm a proper researcher :)

Ain I do shit like that. Brilliant

Well done to MrChat! Enjoy your pizza and wine night

Ain how on earth did you lose your phone in the fridge?! That's hilarious!

Scrabble never happened. Finished one bottle of wine, one movie and was too tired so just ended up in bed.

Afternoon viroids!

lil I know it's hard but try not to compare with your last BFP - It is different and thus you are likely to feel differently to last time. Unmumsnetty hugs for u X

ain I've lost half a stone so far. Did put some back on just before AF arrived but it's back off again. I'm undecided whether or not to join up to slimming world as there is a meet just down the road. It won't be until after we are back from holiday, as the meeting is on a Thursday and I'm not able to make it this week. Have decided to do the 'couch to 5k' so been jogging twice this week; Thursday and today. Mega frustrating because fitness wise I seem fine (which I'm shocked by) but I keep getting cramp in both legs I'm not going to be defeated though, so going to do alternate days at the gym and jogging. I've got about 3 stone to lose (I think ). Knowing how (understandably) picky they are re stats for treatment I don't want to risk getting to that stage, then finding out they won't consider us due to my weight/BMI.
Would be great to have a weight loss buddy though! I did have my mum and sister but they keep giving in and thinking of their own excuses not to carry on.

Busy weekend had over here- it's the last one before we go away so had some stuff to finish around the house. Looking forward to a break away! Just sat down (finally) and next door are banging away (building / renovating) Delightful Sunday afternoon!

Good news on the contract, Chat. What will you be researching?

It must be marathon season, my sister ran the Cologne marathon today, her first one ever. She did it in 4hrs 0mins 58 seconds, which I think is bloody amazing, but I know she'll be gutted it's not under 4! She's persuaded me to do a charity 22 mile walk next year, so I need to get in training if I'm not going to totally embarrass myself. Might join you on the c25k, Keep.

Got the cape on this morning, almost certainly just for fun, but I shan't complain!

Oh do sock! I thought I'd stop halfway on my first one and burst out crying but because you alternate between walking and jogging/running it is brill if you haven't been running for ages / ever. I used to go jogging a lot but I lost a lot of my fitness when I decided to let work take over... Frustrated that I've got to the stage of having to sort of start again, but theres only one way to improve it!

That's a great time, Sock, well done to your sister! I see her point, though - so close!

Research is into which investigations we do in stillbirth, how useful they are (in ascertaining a cause), and whether or not the information is helpful in the management of future pregnancies. Aiming to streamline investigations into which ones should be done universally, because they are frequently helpful, and those that should only be done in certain instances. Bit of a personal interest(!), but I think the best researchers often have.

Congratulations on your honourary contract Chat I think you will be a great researcher.

I think I have caught up now. Very envious of all the ski talk. When I was last ttc I booked some lessons to ensure sod's law got me a BFP and it worked, although I still got to learn the basics on a dry slope. Really tempted to look into a few morning lessons as there is no chance of an abroad holiday this winter.

CD 10 today!

Lil my two bfps were very different. The second time I only did a test because I was late. Did not expect a positive! You can't compare them, you really can't

Thanks honey that's helpful to know. You know you're going slightly crazy when you're assessing the smell of your urine everyone you pee. Think I may need another hooya if I'm not careful! 12dpet today so not too long left. I think the difficulty this time is I don't feel a connection to the embryos like I did before. Last time I was convinced it had worked. I think it's my brain protecting me though.

chat congrats on the contract. As well as being able to do good with the research I hope the work brings you some comfort too.

keep well done on stepping up the exercise. I really need to get on it but all I do is swim and not allowed to do that atm!

ain the fridge?! I dread to think where you found the milk!

Probably is your brain protecting you Lil - I found it very difficult to bond until Tiny started moving, having lost the ones before him. My pregnancies have all been different in some way - the only common theme has been the aversion to a in the first 16 weeks or so :)

Thanks Fuzzy, and we do love invoking the LoS here

I'm sure one of the Mr Men/Little Miss stories has milk in the wrong place...the horror!

I found my purse in the fridge once!

lil your brain is undoubtedly protecting you. You can't possibly know anything yet so try not to stress. Think of all the viroids that were convinced it wasn't their month who have then got their bfp. We are all rooting for you and your beans.

chat good for you, sounds like a perfect focus for you, I think the best researchers are those that are personally invested in some way to their research.

Can't remember what was said now so all round.

I have had a lovely weekend filled with baby cuddles. Feeling a bit blue though now as dp is away until Thursday and I am feeling lonely! Worried about puss cat too and what the vet says tomorrow. He is very cuddly though.

Can anyone think of a reason why I am always so bloated? Have been for the last 6 months, some days worse than others but pretty much look pg most of the time which is ironic! I am not overweight, just have a pot belly. I don't think it is fat but suppose it could be, feels firm and uncomfortable most of the time. Don't think it is food as cutting out wheat etc doesn't help.
Aware I sound mad, I don't expect you to diagnose me over t'internet! Think I am just thinking about fc app and wondering if they will find something hideously wrong!

Can anyone think of a reason why I am always so bloated? Have been for the last 6 months, some days worse than others but pretty much look pg most of the time which is ironic! I am not overweight, just have a pot belly. I don't think it is fat but suppose it could be, feels firm and uncomfortable most of the time. Don't think it is food as cutting out wheat etc doesn't help.
Aware I sound mad, I don't expect you to diagnose me over t'internet! Think I am just thinking about fc app and wondering if they will find something hideously wrong!

Can anyone think of a reason why I am always so bloated? Have been for the last 6 months, some days worse than others but pretty much look pg most of the time which is ironic! I am not overweight, just have a pot belly. I don't think it is fat but suppose it could be, feels firm and uncomfortable most of the time. Don't think it is food as cutting out wheat etc doesn't help.
Aware I sound mad, I don't expect you to diagnose me over t'internet! Think I am just thinking about fc app and wondering if they will find something hideously wrong!

ooh multiple mentalness there!