Still struggling to conceive no. 2 after getting pregnant easily first time round

[LittlePoot]

So, on the back of a run of rather fantastic success stories, it's time to start another thread for those of us still driving ourselves a bit nuts trying to work out why number 2 seems to be so elusive. New frustrated, obsessive testers always welcome (as are our lovely graduates) and let's hope this thread turns out as many success stories as the last.

Hi lovely ladies! I conceived my little girl immediately 3 years ago without even knowing how ovulation worked! This time round we are struggling :( We tried to be chilled at first but now I've become obsessed and it doesn't matter how many people tell me to step away from the tests?? I just can't :( Just had my 3rd chemical pregnancy and feeling like total crap physically and emotionally?? Sending love and baby dust to all those with BFPs! Come on little feet! xxx

Bish, huge congrats that's fantastic news. So nice to see some good news, you must be so excited x

Bish amazing news!!!!! So pleased for you, it's been quiet on the good news front lately.

Little has anyone ever given you a reason as to why it hasn't happened yet? Hoping & praying your IVF goes well & you'll have a special announcement for us all soon.

Ok, well i'm still having acupuncture. I find it uncomfortable, if I twiddle my foot whilst the needles are in my legs it really hurts. The room is cold and not relaxing and my acupuncturist is odd! I am drinking coffee again, but only 1 a day. Can't do without it.

Rang hospital to ask if they knew if i'd be getting my hycosy or not, nurse said my results would be reviewed this coming Thursday & they would decide then. Why are my results being reviewed this Thursday but my follow up appointment to tell me the results won't be for another 3 weeks? So frustrating. Going to ring them on Friday and ask for answer regarding hycosy as i'm due to ovulate the week after.

My friend saw this morning & ordered me the fertility book that the specialist was promoting, looking forward to reading it.

I still just feel in limbo & cannot see it ever happening for me!

coco you are very welcome here, fingers crossed for a short stay (in the nicest possible way), three chemicals sounds really gruelling

village that sounds really frustrating - they don't make it easy do they? Can totally identify with the limbo feeling I am totally there at the moment. I'm with you on the coffee too, something along the lines of this could go on for years and might never get anywhere so why excessively deprive my self...

Over here I'm still holding off testing 10 dpo and counting (err obsessing)..

Bish -congratulations! Exciting to see a BFP, the first since I joined last week. Here's to MANY more!

I watched the This Morning from thurs in itv player -he essentially confirmed a lot of what people have experienced here -that GPs don't have the time, money, (knowledge?) to do thorough testing and so people get pushed into seeking private or waiting for ivf treatment, without having ruled out potentially more basic issues. Worth a watch, was only 5 min slot. Might buy the book too!
Pleased I bullied my GP this week into giving me the tests I want! Feel like I'm doing something positive now.

Welcome Coco, let's hope your stay is short!

Mousey, I watched the This Morning interview on demand and it's really interesting isn't it, he is so honest about the system. I bought the Kindle edition of the book and about a quarter of my way through. It's a really informative book, lots of details on all things fertility and what tests do what etc. defo worth the £6!

Ooh, forgot about kindle. Well on top of the hundreds I've already thrown at this ttc mission on acupuncture, vitamins, gym membership, and what I may be about to embark on once had first private consultation, what's another £6?!!!
A question for those who've had some tests done - I'm going for my day 21 progesterone test next week. Anyone know if it's day 21 specifically or 7 days after ovulation? So excited she agreed, I forgot to query that. I think I ov'd day 16.

mousey think it's 7 dpo, I did mine on 9dpo as Ov'd on a Saturday and came out fine so think that there's a bit of wiggle room - but probably would have rechecked if not ok.

wait I just got it on kindle too! -loads of good information.

Over here caved and tested at 11dpo bfn - did not go well as I expected, crushed - still get my hopes up every month -stupid
Also think my 40th birthday looming later in week not helping

On the plus side - check NHS choices about fertility clinic criteria and it stated all patients entitled to initial investigations in NHS clinic - which was not at all what my GP implied -although he did say he would check then didn't - feel phone call appt coming on here to chivvy him up.

Fruitbat -sorry to hear bfn. It sucks this ttc stuff. Still not out yet though. I do it too, every month, but then we pick ourselves up and try again. Sorry your feeling shit though. Get angry (fiesty? Is that more positive?!) with the GP though -I think we probably know a lot more about this stuff bc they can't know the minute details about every ailment going, and they're not fertility experts. We need to become the experts and then demand stuff!!!!
Thanks for day21 info, will see what happens.

congrats bish!!!! everything crossed for you! xxx
hoping all the grads stay on to keep us positive, I'm back in the saddle after af and determined not to muck about this time! the b-vits are in the bin (they totally messed with ovulation and gave me false hope last month - felt like af was late but just ov'd later so annoying!!)

Oh fruitbat - sorry to hear bfn. You're where I was a couple of weeks ago then - crushing despair? Awful love - sorry and wish I could say something to make you feel better. And 40 coming up as well - happy soon to be birthday!! Its only a number - says me who was in denial about mine for the first couple of months..... It feels like such a big (negative) milestone, but of course nothing's going to change overnight. And there have been a good few success stories 40 and over around here in the last few months so hopefully you and me will be joining them soon enough. xxx

And Bish - congratulations!! Fantastic stuff - has the news sunk in yet?! Great to have some good news - there hasn't been enough of that around here in the last few weeks. Fingers crossed it's the start of another positive trend.

Hello to everyone else. Sorry to be so sporadic. Since the demise of the android app, I'm really struggling - the website is really hit and miss on my phone. But I'm still here in the background at least! I'm in that lovely calm part - about 6dpo I think - too early to test and symptom spot. By the weekend I'll be back down I'm sure, but in the meantime I'm planning November ivf start, hoping not to get a bfn just in time for Christmas. x

Hi everyone.

Well my Clearblue digital fertility monitor arrived today. £56 on Ebay but it doesn't come with the tests. They are another £25 on Ebay I'm on day 9 of my cycle and you need to input your data no later than day 4 so I've missed the boat with it this month. Might be pointless anyway, if my tests results come back showing a problem then no fertility monitor is going to work. I get my results on 6th October and it seems so far away.

Regarding my tests, I've had my bloods done on day 21, another set of bloods done randomly, plus an internal scan. Is there anything else I can push for? I will know if i'm getting a hycosy by next Friday. Oh DP gets his analysis results back on 6th Oct too.

There HAS to be something wrong, surely? Otherwise why would I still be in this boat 13 months in?

Little You are well prepared for your IVF, having your acupuncture will hopefully ensure a very successful outcome. Did they ever give you a possible reason as to why you haven't conceived naturally this time around?

Morning all - not posted for ages because I've been holiday and the Talk app stopped working on my phone after the hacking thing but I'm back up and running now!

I'm CD13 and first flashing smiley of the cycle - will start DTD tonight! I'm now armed with 6 cycles worth of cyclogest progesterone pessaries to treat my LPD.

Dear Father Christmas, I've been a good girl this year, please may I have a BFP?

Thanks little your reply really meant a lot to me, it's just so up and down huh - fingers crossed we get our bfps here too :)

sound like things are moving but frustratingly slow village at the clinic. Let us know how you get on with the monitor.

Glad your back mrsmugoo - I'm missing that app too

Over here I'm 13dpo still bfn, temp dropping, expecting af tomorrow. Spent most of today googling re private ivf costs clinic choice etc. not terribly productive but ho
hum

Tricky as I am bothered by lack of second child but DH only as it upsets me. - had to work to get him to try at all, -beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have accepted it then, maybe less heartache? -think he will go for ivf etc if needed but it is really as I want a child not because he does which makes me feel a bit guilty about the idea of spending all that money, esp with no guaranteed result.

Mrsmugoo, love your letter to Father Christmas!

Fruitbat, I have also been looking at private versus nhs, trying in my head to work out what is possible. A real struggle between the head and the heart.

I had my 1st gp appoint today. I had psyched myself up before I went it to come out with a plan. So went armed with all my charts, every bit of research I've done etc etc. He then said he didn't know much about it! He did say three different times that the form he needs to fill out for it is very long! Any ho, I will be chasing him at the end of the week to fill out these very long forms and book me in for my blood tests!!!

Waitandwine -good for you! I've definitely felt better since I took on my GP (& now hoping that sod's law kicks in in my favour and I'll magically become pg because I relaxed and had some blood tests!)

Hello - I'd like to join this thread please! I haven't had a chance to read back on all previous posts, but will do so now.

I'm TTC number 2. Got pg with DS our first cycle of trying. It was so quick that we decided not to start trying for this one until we were really ready for it, so we waited until he was 2.3 (ideally would have liked a 3 year age gap!). But of course, sod's law it's not looking so easy this time around. Have been trying since early May, so that's 6 cycles.

Have been using the CBAFM for the last couple of cycles. We were on holiday the last couple of weeks over the high / peak days so plenty of time and energy to DtD. Which we did! I was sure that it would do the trick. My cycles are irregular, but AF due around about now and have had two -ve tests. Just went to the loo and think she's on her way. GUTTED!!

Am now pannicking that we've left it too late. I'm 36 and I don't know what to do. Is it time to go to the GP? They do say that you should go after 6 months of TTC after the age of 35. Can anyone give me an idea of what would happen / what they'd say?

Mrs Nucky - based on my experience of visiting the GP they will brush you off and say that 6 months is well within the average normal time to conceive and that 36 is young!

I think unless you have any other reason to believe you've got a fertility issue (short luteal phase for example, that is why I went to my GP) then they will just tell you to keep trying and come back if no luck after a year (or two).

Thanks mrsmug - that's disappointing. I thought that the NICE guidelines suggested an earlier referral for help if you're 36 or over. anyway, I guess I can always go along and see what they say!

It won't hurt, but I really don't think you'll get far if the only "reason" is that you haven't conceived after 6 tries. Good luck though.

Hello everyone. Well, another negative cycle for me - even the thought of impending IVF wasn't enough to spur my reproductive system into action. Arses. Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Hello Mrs NT and welcome. I would say go to the GP for sure, just try not to expect miracles. You're absolutely right that the NICE guidelines say to get tested after six months, so although MrsM is right that often GPs wave hands and don't help, don't be fobbed off! As you already have a child, you're not going to be entitled to fertility treatment (IVF or IUI) on the NHS, but you should get them to do hormone blood tests and refer you to the hospital anyway. And check your DHs little swimmers. For most of us, it didn't show anything much up but that's not really the point - if it does show something then it might be easily fixed and then you're in a much better position. 36 is definitely not too late (I was only having my first around then and had no trouble getting pg) and there are plenty here around 40 still managing to get pg (eventually.....). But get the checks done now and see where you are. Hopefully you'll get pg in the meantime anyway, but at least you'll know the score.

Tests wise, you need early cycle FSH and LH (day 1-5 I think?) and a day 21 progesterone (about 7 days after ov) and partner needs a sperm count. Also worth trying to get a thyroid function test in there but not all GPs will go for it. If those show nothing, hospital should talk to you about checking for physical issues - ultrasound on uterus and something to check fallopian tubes are open. Hope that helps?

Mrs NT -definitely worth a try and even seeing a diff GP if yours won't play ball. Like LPoot says, at least you'll know the score if you've had them done and it does make you feel slightly less out if control of the situation ifykwim.

I've just got my day21 results and I've got low progesterone. GP only agreed to test bc I said I needed hormone tests done before going private. She says this is now an area for a specialist anyway so think she's giving me a big shove out the door bc I mentioned going private and don't technically meet their criteria (but bc I had a mc at 19 weeks and am 38 and now on 9th cycle since then she has probably done her bit). Sort of relieved to have a problem /possible cause identified but now wondering if specialist will just prescribe Clomid or if I still need the amh, u/s and tube checks offered at the private place. Guess will wait and see. I'm now resigned to the fact that the money we had saved for a house extension might be used in other ways!

Welcome MrsNT, it will do no harm to go to docs and see what they can do, I wished I hadn't left it so long.

Just chased mine up from last week, apparently they have sent me a letter so I will wait for that!

Mousey, hopefully you have something to work with now (although it seems a shame to be pleased for someone to find something is not quite right!) would GP not consider referring you to fertility clinic? It's prob quicker to go private though!

Got my letter back from the GP today, they have agreed to do, day 2 and day 21 blood tests. Anything after that will need to be private. I did ask for a thyroid test (as it runs in my family) but he has not agreed to that. Boo!

My poor bank balance is about to take a hammering!

Waitandwine -I know, I felt some relief but then I got a letter through saying bc I had a chemical in May, the gyn team wouldn't see me until 12 months on from that. I'm so confused. I thought it was 6 months if you're over 35 anyway? Plus now I have diagnosis of a sort. Half temped to buy some progesterone online to see if it speeds things up at all but too scared to mess with my cycle. Fed up today. Stupid question, but some of the private places I've looked at ask for a referral but I'll never get one from my GP at this rate. Do private places see anyone if you're willing to pay? What about a private GP? Feeling an overwhelming sense of despair now. Sorry for the ramblings.