Still struggling to conceive no. 2 after getting pregnant easily first time round

[LittlePoot]

So, on the back of a run of rather fantastic success stories, it's time to start another thread for those of us still driving ourselves a bit nuts trying to work out why number 2 seems to be so elusive. New frustrated, obsessive testers always welcome (as are our lovely graduates) and let's hope this thread turns out as many success stories as the last.

Nice to hear the update Metal, nice to hear positive outcomes.

AF has rocked up today which is cd26, so the peak reading on cd17 makes my LP out. I have decided enough is enough ( as trying 14 months with a mc in Dec) so booked my docs appoint for Next Tuesday to try and get some help.

I also called a private clinic ( Care fertility ) spoke to a very nice lady who said initial consultations are 450. I don't know where to start with specialists, does anyone else have any advice on what to consider? TIA

Hi waitandwine I was wondering same thing. So far I've looked at a few clinics online. Some have open days but I'm not really sure what I need (just that I want sthg to happen ASAP). I've booked a private consultation which is same price as yours. It asked for various tests to have been done first (which I found odd but I know nothing!) and went to my GP on Monday and managed to convince her to do the tests for me to enable me to go private. (I still don't fit local pct criteria for NHS referral). Then the private place will analyse the results and do a scsn if nec of uterus, tubes etc. Another website is the hfea who publish the success rates of clinics. What area are you in?

Hi Mousey, it's a nightmare knowing what's best to do. I'm South Yorkshire, where are you? I will certainly look at hfea thanks. The lady I spoke to said they are experts in ivf, but for me I would rather exhaust other options first. Not sure if I'd be a case for something like clomid ( or may have been over googling!)

I asked if they would use gp tests and she said theirs are more in depth. I have everything crossed gp will be helpful for me, buts know it's a lottery.

Hi metal! So glad things are going so well for you and hope these last months are plain sailing too. Hi to all the new people too. Sorry not to be around much these days - I'm finding mumsnet rather annoying without the app!! But I thought I'd come and update after my appointment at the posh private clinic today. Long story short, taking all the latest tests into account (progesterone, thyroid function and another sperm count for dh), it looks like we've got sperm problems, and some sub-optimal results on my side, plus my ancient age. All together there's nothing to stop us getting pregnant naturally but it's not guaranteed. The consultant didn't recommend anything else to test - its basically a straight choice to do ivf asap or to just keep trying. And I think we're going to do ivf. Despite the fact we'd need to do icsi for the dodgy sperm and pre implantation screening for chromosomal issues (my previous history plus age), which pushes the cost up to just shy of 10k.

Littlepoot -that sounds encouraging! And expensive. Must be nice to have some answers though. Can I ask what your ancient age is? I'm 38. Which clinic did you go to?

Waitandwine -I'm in Herts. I agree, big lottery. I am a big believer in the NHS but sometimes it's just too slow and I've convinced myself there's sthg wrong that needs fixing and don't want to wait another 6 months to find out! Good luck with the GP. ??

Some of the tests were quite reassuring, that's true. My amh levels are high for my age (40) and he did an antral follicle count today which was good (17- whatever that means!). So apparently that's all good for ivf. But my 21 day progesterone "could be better " and I'm 40, which together with crappy sperm (morphology - 2% normal forms) probably explains why its not happened yet. Its the zita west clinic in London by the way.

Grrr- mumsnet mobile website is killing me! I'll try and get on a computer and write more soon...

Little poot, glad things are moving forward for you. ??10k is big money, I'm afraid we will be having an only child if that's the bill! Fx for you that nature gives you (and your bank balance) a break and you get lucky before you need any of that.

Thanks mousey, I am like you, not up for a long wait, so if gp says no or it will be a while we will have private tests as I am 37 so would rather get a move on.

Good luck to everyone, it so nice to hear the good news when it does happen. Let's hope next months a lucky one for us all!

Littlepoot -that's the other clinic I was quite keen on. Did you see ZW or the consultant? Have heard good things. Good luck, keep us posted! X

little - pleased to hear from you wondering how things were. - that sounds really positive from the clinic. But ooch price for one cycle

I have been a bit down after GP v unhelpful last week, - still not got back to me to say if I meet referral criteria for NHS fertility clinic, and is now apparently off for 2 weeks, then I'm away for a week so all in all another months delay
Going in to get copies of what bloods he did as he was very cagey about what had had done, progesterone -apparently normal but he didn't tell me what number - receptionist says I can have print out if I go in though. His basic mantra was -it will happen in time but when I said I want to pay for ivf if not happening - said yes you need to do that sooner rather than later
So complete contradiction and I think attitude that if I was prepared to pay for I find should pay for all investigationsand stupid conversation about how investigations would all be unhelpful anyway - eg if your tube is blocked it wi only be one tube and still 70% of fertility of 2 tubes - which I resent when he hasn't even checked criteria, grrrh

Anyway DH picked up his results, and it all looks fine.
Someone asked abou private being an option - basically yes but need to persuade DH Who is not keen on spending money - I would make appt now but DH wants to wait for GP to get back to us.sigh

It's my 40 birthday next week, day that AF is due, so not looking forward to it in any sense, as feel that it's just a bit of s funeral party for the end of the chance of a second child - they were meant to be here right now.

Sorry this is a really misery fest - on top of all that co-worker who shares my office has just announced pregnancy - really pleased for her but not sure I can take pregnancy talk and bump in my face for next 6 months - really hard.

I've also been thinking about what clinic too, I'm in Sussex - had a look at all the local clinics and tbh they all look a bit rubbish for 40+ results on the hfea- and worse than a lot in London - had thought about crgh - as had daughter at UCLH and was very pleased with care.

little how did you choose, also wait and mousey you sound like you are a similar place in terms of clinic choice?

fruitbat I can understand your frustration, every time I see my doctor I feel fobbed off too. Don't apologise for being down about things, it is a heartbreaking and frustrating times. I hope you get all your tests and some clarity, and can persuade your DH... I think there should be RL support groups for this sort of thing.
I am in sussex too, we are county buddies

Hi fruit bat, sorry you are feeling down. It really can take over your every thought can't it. I really hope you can enjoy your birthday. X

Hello Ladies, another graduate popping back in. I don't seem to fit anywhere else and have been missing your support!

Had my 12 week scan today - all good, and we're so relieved as we'd both been paranoid that something had gone wrong. I am high risk for pre-eclampsia though, and my blood pressure was borderline today (though could have been anxiety!) so this will be the most medicalised pregnancy ever! Am still trying to shake the feeling that it could all go wrong, so can't quite relax into it. Also apprehensive about telling people, though we are telling DS tonight. Constantly thanking my lucky stars that we've made it here though, and hoping the same for all of you!

Congrats gubbins, everything crossed for you... I know what you mean about belonging, I felt that way on my first antenatal board then everyone melted away and I was s bit on me tod!!!
Pre-eclampsia sounds scary xxxxx

Thanks wait and flymo - waving at flymo across the hills

Lovely to hear your news burning
12weeks yippee!

I'm feeling a bit better today, reckon will pin GP down when I get back from hols and spend hols working on DH - think he will be persuadable

Also decided not to do any early testing this month, 9 dpo today and holding off, thinking it makes me feel worse. We'll see how long that lasts...

Great news on your scan burning! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly too.

oooh, strength and willpower to you there fruitbat!! I'm not an overly keen tester but I have a short LP so af is nearly always upon me by 9dpo... hope you can ride it out without poas!!

Congratulations Burning! Sooo happy for you! Although I know what you mean about the anxiety - I still don't believe it's real! We should have started a graduates thread although I'm on quite a nice one called 'second and subsequent babies due jan/feb/March' which isn't as mad as some of the others - hop over!

Metal so glad everything is going well for you too - can't believe how quick it's gone!! Although bet it doesn't feel like it!

Good luck to everyone else - I truly hope you get there in the end. In the meantime this thread is an absolute Godsend!

Apparently Prof Winston was on This Morning today talking about infertility. Anyone see it?

Burning - that's fantastic!! Such great news. Well, apart from the blood pressure, obviously, but just keep it monitored and it will be fine I know. With my pregnancy with ds, I was massively anxious after two failed ones before, but I found it dropped to normal anxiety after my 16 week scan (extra one because I was high risk for problems). Hang in there - rest plenty and think about doing some kind of relaxation stuff. I found pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy massage and mindfulness (Headspace app) helped me a bit. Until ds came along anyway and my anxiety shot through the roof, but that's another story.... And I'm sorry you guys are short of an appropriate thread to chat on. Maybe start an "anxious in pregnancy that took too bloody long to come about " thread. And I'll hope to join you there.....

We've decided to take the plunge with the ivf. Which I think means starting at the end of October. Thank goodness for interest free credit cards - at least that gives us a couple of years to get the cash together. My acupuncturist is convinced that all is perfect with me this month, but having seen dh's sperm results last week I'm not optimistic. Just emerging from the shag zone so we've done all we can do. Clinic wise, it was a recommendation from a friend. I didn't really do any research at all, but it turns out it's rather good. I've seen zita and the consultant (George) now. He's pretty amazing actually. She's nice too, but that was more nutrition and lifestyle advice.

Fruitbat - hope you're hanging on in there. I actually find early testing (day 11 or 10if I can't wait) calms me down. Stops my imagination going into overdrive with phantom symptoms. Good luck either way - we're due some good news!

Wow little that's exciting that you've decided to go for the ivf! Will be sending lots of positive vibes your way - the end of October will be here before you know it! Amazing how much quicker private is compared to nhs isn't it. In the meantime try not to stress too much over the sperm issues - my husbands morphology was also 2%!

Fx for you Little, it all sounds very exciting.

You so should start a graduates thread ;)

Lovely to hear from all the graduates nice and hopeful!

I'm still holding off, fertility friend has reassessed ov date and now says 9dpo today (thinks ov one day later), trying not testing as finding build up/ knock back too much, maybe it will help.
Still symptom spotting - very crampy this month -surely a good sign... Should know better ...

Thanks all. My blood pressure has always been the high end of normal so it doesn't take much to push it over. It was an issue with ds so I'm not surprised it is again. I'm taking part in a clinical trial related to pre-eclampsia though, so fingers crossed I'm not in the placebo group! I'd already picked out a pregnancy pilates and yoga DVD so will get that ordered tonight.

Little, that's fab about the IVF. Do you feel better for taking some decisive action?

Erm, bfp?!?! 12dpo, I'm in shock! I didn't get a bfp with ds until 22dpo. It must all be down to the inositol.

Woop woop woop!
Congratulations bish so happy for you!
we really needed some good news on this thread!