TTC after MC (#7) - fx for better times ahead

[CarrotVan]

Support, shoulders to cry on, virtual gin and the best cheer leaders MN can offer you. We've been there and it's awful but we'll help each other through to better times.

Good luck Carrot. Hope it goes well!

I haven't been charting or anything. Just been taking a 'let whatever happens happens' approach. Ttc is far to stressful.

Does anyone else get the neurotic symptom spotting? It's only cycle #1 of ttc since the MC, and I'm barely a few dpo and I keep imagining I have that pg taste in my mouth

I think I'm going a bit mad

Thank you for the well wishes ladies, good luck to those of you who are going for scans! I'm sure all will be fine. X

Had paramedics at my flat last night, about 3am they burst into the block and go upstairs to the woman who was pregnant at the same time as me with my first pregnancy that mc'd....heard them saying "well she's 7-8 months"
I should be 7-8 months!!! So now she's off giving birth while I've been up all night crying, worrying about having to hear a newborn crying above my head 24/7 .... Told dh I may have to go and stay at a friends for a while to get my head round it, he called me childish and went and slept on the sofa.
I just don't think I can do this anymore, I've lost two babies since she's moved in above my head pregnant...

Oh paws you poor thing

It's so hard isn't it. I had a friend over for lunch today who's 22wks now. She's a great friend and there was plenty of space in our conversation for me being sad just as for her being happy, but it was still hard seeing her bump and thinking 'I should be showing now'. Can't imagine how you must be feeling dreading the sound of a baby overhead. Kind of amazed that your DH isn't being more understanding too, surely he could just give you a hug and let you have a cry?

Fx for your scan carrot, hope seeing your little baby helps you to connect.
Sorry for the anxiety paws I should also be 7-8 months now, I'm trying to avoid working it out exactly as it just makes me sad. It's so hard dealing with other people's pregnancies, but I think you need to face it head on, rather than staying somewhere else. Maybe treat yourself to a little portable speaker so you can move it around to drown out the baby noise. I live in a town with a lot of babies, especially in summer when lots of holidaymakers with babies arrive. I decided to start looking at them as good luck charms, rather than devil spawn sent to rub my face in it! It really helps and it sounds silly but it's just about adjusting your attitude. Of course I'm far from saintly, I still hate baby bombs and have the occasional rant about undeserving parents! But I'm doing a good job of hitting my 80/20 target (serene and balanced/ crazy bitch)!

Paws my DP also thought I should be pleased for everyone who got pregnant, even the horrible one that couldn't even tell me to my face and in her words "left it for facebook to tell me".

Just imagine though, she must be going through hell going into early labour, but there is no reason your next pregnancy won't be perfect and carry to term and you will have your beautiful baby. And with any luck they will move out!! I don't think you should stay at your friends though, as hard as it is, you're going to see pregnant ladies and babies everyone, more so after a mc I think as you seem to be on high alert. Going to your friends won't stop that. In the meantime, lots of hugs from us here xx

Hi. I'm new to this thread but so pleased I've found it. I'm 38. Myself and my hubby have unexplained infertility. After trying for 4 yrs, clomid, tamoxifen etc with no success, we were referred for IVF. I then found out I had conceived. We were beyond thrilled. I went for a reassurance scan at 10 weeks to find out I'd had a mmc. The baby stopped growing at 7wks, 4 days. I had an ERPC on 23.12.14. Christmas and new year were so hard. Skip forward to now and I'm finding it really hard to stay positive. I thought I'd conceive again but it's just not happened. It's looking like IVF is the only option. I'm so tired of it all to be honest. How do you lovely ladies stay positive?

So sorry k8 - you must have been devastated

TBH I'm not sure I'm doing so well at positive. I'm 36, DH is 43, and I'm terrified we've missed the window. Only one MC so far and we're trying again, but it just feels like time is slipping away.

Thanks everyone for your understanding, I feel awful when I think negatively about others who are pg, I just try and remind myself it's natural to feel angry. Honestly if it was a lovely couple above us it would feel easier, but they are such horrible people, and I feel almost scared and embarrassed to be seen by her without 'my bump' .... I fear she would take some pleasure in seeing me bumpless! Just dreading hearing the crying right above my head at night, very thin walls and ceilings. Still, there is nothing I can do so I guess I'm just gonna have to put up with it....the pain I'm in emotionally right now scares me though if I'm honest.

k8 welcome, you will find tremendous support here. Sorry for your loss.... if you've conceived already then that shows you are able? It may happen for you again naturally by the time you've got on the ladder to ivf.... you never know! X

Cd9 here, pinning a lot of desperate hope on conceiving this month, need it more than ever now

Thanks again for everyone's posts, hugs to all xxx

That does sound very tough paws as a very slight silver lining at least you won't be sharing mat leave and clinic dates with your neighbour. Look after yourself

k8 what an awful year. Do you get any counselling with your IVF to help with the process?

Can't believe it, how much more can my face be rubbed in it, 3 times today delivery men have knocked on my door to deliver push-chairs, baby clothes, cot bed!
Feel like screaming at them...

Hi everyone, hope you don't mind if I join.
Had a mc and surgery early July and decided to start ttc again - emotionally still all over the place but feel like getting pregnant again would be a huge help.
We also have a sil on both sides of the family pregnant and due within weeks of when we would have bene so it's very difficult to think about not trying. I think it will be easier to cope with babies in the new year if we're at least pregnant (and it's a sticky one).
Anyone have any ideas how to not obsess and deal with others baby news? xXx

Hi Tailor, sorry for your loss.

Not sure that others do but I'm finding having a project helps. We bought an old house and are restoring it, which means whenever I'm not working I'm managing contractors or painting. I've really thrown myself into it and the results are rewarding which helps stop me obsessing about babies.

hi everyone hope you don't mind if i join.

had a tfmr at 13 weeks on 6/8/15 after a lethal diagnosis at the 12 week scan (after positive scans at 8 and 10 weeks ). Baby was unplanned but very wanted and both me and dp are now positive we want a baby so starting on my first ttc journey now.

Anybody else just dtd every other day without temping or anything? Not sure i would know how. And any vitamins i should be taking other than FA and vit D?

Hi all, hope you're doing ok. paws sorry to hear things have been so tough on you lately. Welcome to all the newbies. I am very sorry for your losses.

Feeling awful today. 4 weeks now since the mc. Getting cramps and that heavy feeling like AF may arrive but no sign yet. Also getting the most excruciating headaches which make me feel so nauseous. Seem to be worse when I'm hungry. Feel like crap. Slept for 2 and a half hours with my LO but it didn't help. If AF is going to arrive I wish it would hurry up already so I can get it over with and start Ttc.

reebok sorry you're feeling crappy, I know how horrid the lead-up to first AF post mc is! The headaches were awful, and the cramps weren't nice either...sounds like AF is getting closer though hun, probably not long now. Hope it comes quickly and as pain free as possible for you. Xx

Welcome newbies, wonderful support thread...nothing you can't get off your chest here, I know I've had my fare share of rants! Sorry for your losses, with regards to ttc and dtd every other day, I would say if you don't want to chart and track then eod is probably a good idea so you don't risk missing your fertile window! That's if you feel up to eod, I know I couldn't manage it, I use fertility friend ap. Its really good, simply too, you can choose to chart as much or little as you want, it has tutorial videos and such which explain the basics. Its given me a sense of control and empowerment over my fertility and I would recommend it.
But if you're worried about getting wrapped up in ttc and don't want to chart, you can dtd eod, or simply keep an eye on your cervical fluid so you know when the best time to dtd is around ovulation.

Just wanted to say to everyone, I'm sorry for the recent 'me' posts lately, just not in a good place atm, thanks you all for your support...such a lovely bunch of gals! Xxx

Thank you paws...I think I'm getting a temperature now...feeling shivery and getting aches and pains. Haven't felt this unwell in a while!

Re the 'me' posts...don't worry about it! That's what this thread is here for. Lots of hugs coming your way xxx

Welcome new people - sorry for your losses.

Sorry things aren't good paws & reebok

Aw bless you, so kind...i can't remember if you were ttc in your wtf cycle? As the annoying thing is, in the 'wtf' cycle, the pms symptoms are virtually identical to pregnancy symptoms (I know pms symptoms are like pg symptoms anyway, but wtf cycle pms symptoms even more so)
Really don't want to get your hopes up hun, but if you've not been using contraception then there is always the chance you may be pg? I was convinced I was pg in both my wtf symptoms, so cruel... Hope you're feeling better soon no matter what the outcome xxx

Meant to say "convinced I was pg in both my wtf cycles" not 'symptoms'

Doh!!!

How's the pregnancy going carrot? Xx

Hugs your way too fruit xx

Well to be honest we have taken the 'whatever happens happens' approach. Not charting etc so no idea when I ovulated. We have barely dtd this cycle anyway as to begin with I really wanted to but sometime last week I suddenly went off it! My hormones are probably still all over the place. Highly doubt I'm pregnant. Probably just run down from my LO keeping me up at night.

carrot hope things are going well. X

Ok I think. I overdid it today though carrying ds and my pelvis is sore

Well I wish you a speedy recovery reebok...at least you're not obsessing about ttc and are taking it at your own pace! Wish I could be a bit more in control with it all, I don't think it's healthy all my charting, counting, waiting etc...but hey ho....the method to my madness, is that I'll calm down once in pg that's what I keep telling myself anyway x

carrot glad all is well, take it easy if you can, don't push yourself too much X

Hi everyone! Do you mind if I join?
Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear of everyone's losses. I have read back on a few pages.
My story is that I had a mmc diagnosed at my 11 week scan a week tomorrow. I had ERPC last thursday. I feel so empty and devastated. The early scan I had at 6+4 showed a perfect heart beat and I felt so reassured. The bleeding has now stopped and I am desperate to ttc asap.
Can someone please explain what is 'wtf' cycle? Also, I don't want to wait for a proper AF before ttc. Has anyone managed to get pg before a proper AF? Thank you