Yo yo!! Calling all Ladybros over 30 TTC #1. Join the Berries aboard the Charabanc of lurrrve. Bring real Champagne, from the actual Champagne region. No Colombian builders allowed.

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy

Current passengers

WildflowerMarmalade 40 - TTC for three years. FET done in June with immune treatments - waiting for result... Six embryos in the freezer after two freeze all cycles.

Minx 35 in August - TTC 2 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF booking in appt in July, hoping to start IVF soon after

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. IVF#1 Short protocol July '14 BFN, IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb '15 both Long protocol BFNs. High NK cell immune treatment. Natural FET in June '15, awaiting result.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles and 1 failed FET. Hoping to start long awaited NHS cycles in late August provided pesky smear test is sorted by then.

Beaky 35, ttc coming up 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1x long protocol ivf cancelled 1 BFN following IVF

Tigerdog, 34 (soon to be 35) TTC since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF#1 May 2015 resulted in a chemical pregnancy. Now transferring clinics in the hope of a second round of IVF on the NHS and considering an NK cells biopsy in July/August.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc 3.5 years. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. Currently awaiting nk cells results before a FET possibly in August/September.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.5 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15. Looking to change clinic and try another natural cycle in June 2015.

Lucieloos, 35, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. 1st ICSI in Czech Republic in April BFN.

Rain, 33 ttc since March 2012. unexplained. mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. NHS IVF starting in June

Pip I will be thinking of you tomorrow, sending lots of berry support your way Love the berry prayer, thank you.

Barking that sounds like a great idea. A little time away with someone else will hopefully make that time pass quickly. I mentioned to dh that we should go to the lakes or something for a couple of days in the 2ww, as a distraction.

Thanks Sesame, I've set a reminder to take painkillers!

Thank you for the flowers ladies. I don't think we will do anything much to be honest. We are going over to a friend's house tomorrow night so that'll be something nice to look forward to. I think we will just ignore it TBH.
We kind of had to deal with it a couple of days ago. A friend at work had a baby due 4 days before us and as it was she had her baby early. She brought her into work on Monday. She was very respectful of me as she knew that the we were due at the same time. I got to have a cuddle.

Hey tiger it's definitely a rollercoaster and you will have up and down days all the time but just remember when you have a down day that you will feel better and more positive again soon. Post here or speak to people that understand what you're going through. I've found that really lifts me up and helps me through the hard bits.

I'm expecting day 1 around Thursday next week and that's when I've booked the baseline in for. I'm not sure if something weird is going on with my ovulation this month though as I normally ovulate on day 12 but have been getting lines on opks up to day 14 but they haven't been as dark as the control (I've run out of opks now) I have been temping but its been low until today when it went up a little bit but still not as high as when I normally ovulate. Will see what it's like tomorrow but if it goes up again tomorrow then looks like I could have ovulated day 14 / 15 which is unheard of for me and I have no idea what that will do to the rest of my cycle!

pip

sorry for the delay in replying, my internet dropped at home, and so could only read posts on my phone (the text in the mumsnet app is tiny...and I've realised tonight my eyes are starting to play up (was doing that thing where I was moving my phone further and further away from me...oh the joys of getting older ))

thank you all for your replies, really appreciate you taking the time ...I don't want to go anywhere else, as you are all lovely.

have to say as well, the depth of knowledge you all have, is really impressive (not great I know that you have to get it cause of the ttc issues)

barking thank you for taking the time with all the explanations, that helps a lot. loved the disclaimer too.

beaky thanks, I may go and have a nosey round some of the other threads too (not sure I have the energy or time to contribute to more than one tho. I am already getting used to the dildocam , as had a HSG when they first started checking me, plus all the follicle tracking internal ultrasounds...you realise very quickly that there are generally going to be a lot of people all up in my business

pip that gospel is brilliant...really made me smile (dh now looking at me strangely, wondering why I am laughing at my laptop). hope you get through tomorrow okay, I'll be thinking about you

seasame please don't apologise for getting carried away with technical stuff, I fully appreciate how important threads like this are for support.

dizzy how are things with you?

as for my OTD...not sure when I'm going to test yet, as my last few cycles have varied from 35 days last month, to 27 days the month before. if I wait until 35 days it makes aug 1st my OTD (that feels like an age to wait). although the clinic couldn't tell me exactly when I ovulated (when I was having the follicle tracking done), we think it occurred around monday 13th july. so should I work out 2 weeks from that date, or just stick with my 35 days, based on last months cycle?

clem most people say 2 weeks from ovulation would be it, but I'm not convinced I believe that. I also have a variable cycle - though generally between 30-35 days, and although people assumed I'd just ovulate late, this hasn't been the case at all. Before my appointment with the Prof, I put all my cycle information (from a period tracker app) into Excel, including stuff like when the OPKs hit peak... and have found that generally I don't get proper Day 1 bleeding until 19-22 days after that peak. Clearly barking gets her Day 1 in something around 7+ days after, so this theory that everyone has a 14 day luteal phase is nonsense.

Personally, being a varied cycle length person like yourself, I wouldn't get excited until I'd gone beyond my longest ever cycle length, so I'd stick with the 35 days.... unfortunately for me I've never needed to test as I always get spotting for 7-10 days before my period, so it's always obvious it'll be a BFN.

Thinking of you today Pip and sending lots of love . Also thanks for the Berry prayer - always good to revisit it once in a while! Made me wonder where the sausage/wanging thing came from - can you remember??
Barking interesting what you say about not OVing properly. When I did the FET they didn't give me a blood test - they just counted on from my positive OPK so there's no knowing if I actually did ovulate and it's probably been 2 years since my last cd21
lucie I haven't temped for aaaages but when I did I'd always have one random cycle (maybe only once a year) when I'd OV later than usual. Think it's just one of those annoying things - a bit like a watched kettle!
Clem sorry you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by all our talk. Please don't go - as someone said up thread it's not about having an encyclopaedic knowledge of TTC but more about supporting and encouraging each other. I've been here nearly 3 years and sometimes there's things I still don't understand. Some of the things some of these ladies are having done is very specific to their condition/treatment. Also some of the terms we use are complete gibberish Berryisms, so don't be afraid to ask. There's no such things as a stupid question after all!
Hope everyone has a good day. Can't believe I've been off work almost a week already - slow down holidays!!

Those dates sound as if they will be much more convenient. Hopefully this way you will avoid the festival / ET clash nightmare? I agree that it is very interesting about your early developing follicle, very interesting indeed.

Clem and Dizzy - when I first pitched up here I had no idea about even the basics of IVF. I only really got my head around it when we did a round ourselves - although all the Berries chat helped give me some idea of how it worked. I think that sometimes reading up on every aspect of your treatment and becoming a minor expert is a way to handle the stress and to feel in control in a situation where ultimately you do not have full control. It's a bitter to swallow the fact that whether we get our BFP or our own baby is not actually within our control.

Pipbin is so, so right when she recommends talking about what you want to talk about and people will respond. We all understand (unfortunately) the ups and downs and trials and triumphs of long term TTC. That's why we are all here to support each other.

Pip thank you for posting the gospel according to St Berry. It's inspired as well as inspiring. It's spookily spot on - even down to the bit about being sent for blood tests on the wrong day. Hope today is ok for you.

Good luck today Beaky. Hope the scratch is not too painful.

My cat is sitting next to me staring at me with her little pink tongue poking out and wanting to be stroked. It's too cute, how can I go to work!

Oops. First paragraph is addressed to Barking

smidge thanks for that...my head was telling me to wait the 35 days, but the impatient part of me wants to test sooner. probably not the best idea tho. So I think my OTD will be the 1st Aug. why does that now feel like it's an age away.

you know, I've now started dreaming about mumsnet...serves me right for posting so late last night and falling asleep thinking about it

pip am thinking of you today. Thanks for the reminder of the berry gospel, it really is a work of genius. I have certainly done my fair share of wailing and nashing of teeth.

Excellent glossary barking! Interesting about the ovulation progress, so did you do the ovitrelle yesterday evening then? Sounds like the dates are working out well. Time for some epic cheerleading and finger crossing!

Definitely don't go clem and dizzy*. When I joined over 1.5 years ago we were a bit more balanced between those in treatment and those at the start of the investigation process, but we are certainly here to handhold throughout the two week wait, and answer any questions no matter where you are in the process.

beaky are you scratching today then? Good luck!

I need to get back into the temping and ovulation testing next month as I plan to have the biopsy. In fact I need to get back into the healthy frame of mind that I was in for the first 5 months of the year. Since IVF and the chemical pregnancy I haven't even managed to take vitamins with any sort of regularity.

Birthday was very nice, and working mumsnetting from home today so the weekend is in touching distance. Having some IT issues though, so struggling to get access to the things I need to get done, and starting to panic about the workload!

Next job is to call the clinic, and see what is happening about this appointment.

Tiger CRGH has just moved to a new site (very posh). Some patients have been asked to wait a month to start their treatment cycles to ensure that eg. the embryology labs are fully up and running in time. I wonder if that move is causing a backlog for appointments? I imagine you would see a consultant at UCH Assisted Reproduction Unit and then have the actual procedures carried out at CRGH? Maybe there is a moratorium on appointments for now so that the clinic doesn't end up with more patients than it can handle all at once - especially in new surroundings.

I've got an appointment date...15 October which feels like an unacceptably long time away. I'm not sure how it will work wild but so far I've found them quite difficult to deal with and very hard to find the right person to ask about appointments who have the first clue about the actual clinics etc. Not happy.

Oh that is frustrating Tiger. It's easy for me to say, but 15th Oct will come sooner than you think - and maybe you will get a cancellation slot in the meantime.

Glad you enjoyed your birthday tiger I really really hope you manage to get that appointment sorted soon. Yes October does seem ages but the extra time could give you a little bit of time to relax without the pressure of treatment...?

barking yes sounds like some strange goings on with your cycles there. But the ovitrelle should at least mean your body should be exactly where it should be before they stick that embie back exactly where it belongs.

beaky how did you get on?

Best of luck with that 2ww clem 1st of August isn't too far away!

Slow down happy holidays! (smile)

Well I'm off to London for the weekend. I wanted to catch up with friend tomorrow. She has a 2 little boys. But she's already got plans with all the other mums. She invited me along too but it would just make me to be the only one left out.

I know wild but that's what scares me. Time racing past whilst I live my life in some sort of miserable limbo. And that's only 3 months until the first appointment - then it will be tests etc and no doubt more delays. I can't bear it.

Tiger is there any way you can confirm what tests you might need and get them sorted in September so that you are ahead of the game?

clem glad you're staying I'm not an early tester myself so I never normally get the chance to poas but you know, clomid has worked for other berries.

Dizzy are you ok? When is your consultation? Sorry my memory is terrible.

Ah Tiger tat does seem like ages away, but hopefully you will get a cancellation. You have had recent bloods etc haven't you, I don't know if they would want to repeat everything as they usually accept stuff within 12 months. Have you though about doing Serum's questionnaire in the meantime which will recommend any testing they think is necessary in addition to what you've had and recommend what protocol they'd put you on, that way you'd have a bit of extra info for your consultation. Keep ringing in the meantime.

Sesame enjoy London! I am at a family do this weekend with lots of kids! Arghh. I don't have the patience these days.

Wild I hope you're ok and not too ill or anything!

Had my scratch this morning, it was certainly not pleasant but it was bearable. Fx it helps though. Oh I also poas this morn just in case, hahahaha! Clearly I was snow blinded from the whitest box ever. idiot

Hope everyone is having a quick/easy Friday with lots planned for the weekend!

barking - useful summation there, thanks! I'd especially puzzled over the scratch and thought it might mean something like that but it didn't make much sense to me. Ah well, I'll trust the results/research on that one.

clem/beakybeak - I am ok. Consultation isn't until the third. HAve been waiting so long now! Today I did a 'day 21' blood test as part of what the FC requested, except I've noticed I'm spotting and think I may have left it too late .

Was trying to be clever and time it right as I don't have a regular cycle and typically over a 32 day cycle (though I had a couple of 50-60 day cycles over the autumn winter...go figure) but then I wasn't that sure as to when day 1 was either because I have loads of brown spotting for days before anything 'proper' starts and even then flow is quite light. I also typically get cramps about a week before my periods. Oh and I've also developed the runs and anxiety as shiny new pms symptoms. Something is definetly not right with my hormones and I hope they can find it and fix it. Part of me is scared that I'm actually having an early menopause, which I was warned could happen with one ovary (I'm 32).

I'm lucky in so much I have some friends who have been through ivf or have persisted for ages before succeeding to conceive. I honestly don't know why more ladies don't discuss it openly - and yes I know it's a sensitive topic but I just think it would help others so much to know that it can be a struggle for some people and this is perfectly normal.

Oh that turned into a bit of a rant :)

Dizzy I went for my day 21 test even though I knew I wouldn't have ovulated. It meant that when I went back on day 28 and I had, I had proof later that I didn't have the 14 day LP as they tried to tell me I had .

clem in the interests of avoiding confusion, OTD is the 'official' test date as it's the date given to you by the clinic after iui or ivf, either to test at home and call in with the result, or go in for a blood test. It doesn't apply to a normal cycle, you can test whenever you like!

beaky hope you're not feeling too sore after the scratch . I can identify with the poas experience, I have many times felt mocked by a snowy white stick!

wild yes that is what I will do. Am in the process of getting all notes together and will have biopsy late August for NK cells to keep things moving. Onwards eh.

Dizzy that sounds frustrating. Hopefully they'll still be able to confirm ovulation even if the test was a bit late. I also wish people would talk about it more, even though I find it hard myself. It would mean people are better informed at least - I had another well meaning "why don't you adopt" this weekend. Sigh.

Had a call from the FC offering me a cancellation appt. Turns out the two dates on offer are the only ones between now and Oct we can't do! Typical. Will be calling every few days to make sure I am at the top of their list!

Oh no tiger! At least they called you, so hopefully will again.

Sounds like you are swinging into action in your own unbeatable style Tiger. Get those tests sorted and gather all the info you have and then hit them between the eyes with it! It's a good sign that you have already been offered two cancellations - it seems likely that there will be more available soon. Bloody annoying that the first two cancellations had to be on the only two days you can't do! Sod's law.

Well done on surviving the scratch Beaky. Did you take any painkillers in the end - or did you do it the Barking hardcore way? She is like the Ironman of fertility treatment.

Beaky I realised that I never answered your and Tiger's question about the cost of our treatment. I have yet to find the courage to total up what we have spent, but the FC quoted £12k as a rough guide for full testing, two EC and one FET and drugs. We already had most of the test results (Day 3s, hep B etc, semen analysis etc etc) so we saved some there. Nevertheless, I'm pretty sure we'll end up a bit over the £12k. There have been additional expenses which I just hadn't thought about, eg. £500 for embryo storage for two years, plus all the medications I'm still taking are not noticeably cheap. During the 2ww it also occurred to me that if we didn't get a BFP then we would need to find the cash for another FET. God only knows how.

The one saving grace is that because the two rounds of stims took around four months and then another two for the FET it did give me time to catch up a little bit financially. Basically to cover the cost of the drugs.

I know that we are very, very lucky to have been able to afford to do this. I feel a slight urge to justify it, but I won't. Except to say that I have suspected for several years that my fertility problems were immune related and that the treatment would be expensive, so I started to save just in case.

No justification necessary wild, I felt the same and also started saving, but then as part of my attempt at giving me the best chance I changed jobs and took a massive cut in pay in order to reduce stress and working hours, so that plan didn't really pan out!!
However, MiL has apparently offered to pay for another round if this doesn't work so I think we'll take her up on that although it will feel like she's buying herself a grandchild and will hold it over us

Tiger fx that another cancellation comes up soon, that's so frustrating about the 2 dates clashing. At least if you have to wait til October, your immune testing will definitely be complete. I really hope there isn't much more waiting for you. Berries really should get preferential treatment. The scratch wasn't too bad and afterwards I didn't even feel like I'd had anything done!

Dizzy what was your fsh in your day 2/3 bloods? That would indicate your level of ovarian reserve and whether you are nearing menopause but just remember that IVF is still possible with a low reserve and there are decent success rates for it too. For example, my fsh (follicle stimulating hormone) is now 15 which is on the higher side, but I have a confirmed low ovarian reserve from other tests.

Wild thanks for that, and I am so pleased it worked out for you 1st time. It's such a shame that you had to pay privately when you should have been entitled to NHS treatment. I took paracetamol before the scratch, I felt the saving grace was that it is over so quickly!

Barking that's great that your mil will pay for another round, all fx you won't need it though.