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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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TTC and still breastfeeding? Thread #4: Pull up a chair for some support from others on the journey!

999 replies

Augusthomotherium · 28/05/2015 13:01

Yes, we know all about how emotional and hard it can be! All the pros and cons, all about missing Aunty Flo's and wtf cycles with no ovulation, all about children being cute and pointy. No matter if you are five months or twenty months down the breastfeeding timeline, if you're ttc again, this is the thread to join! Welcome! Smile

OP posts:
Trinpy · 19/06/2015 10:03

Ava I hope you're lucky this time round and don't get hg, vomiting blood sounds pretty horrific Shock.

ispy welcome home! I'm very jealous Envy. Are you hoping to ovulate over the weekend too?

I have mixed feelings about weaning though overall I think I'm happy to stop. I feel a bit guilty about not lasting longer, even though ds isn't in the least bit bothered. Its lovely not having to set my alarm 20 minutes early for the world's slowest breastfeeder as well Grin.

Trinpy · 19/06/2015 10:07

what cd are you on pear?

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 10:42

Yep, it wasn't the most lovely part of being pg, that's for sure Hmm the commute to work was torturous and it lasted the entire pregnancy too - I had about 6 weeks of just feeling nauseous but not actually vomiting countless times during the day at around 6 months, but then it came back with a vengeance through to labour when I threw up on the midwife (who had just told me I wasn't fully dilated and not experiencing contractions as they weren't showing up on the monitor Shock ) and the vomiting actually prompted her into believing I was ready to push and getting me off the ward I was on and actually getting me into a delivery suite, finally. DD appeared 26 mins later Hmm

I work part time now since returning after mat leave so at least I won't have to deal with the commute 5 days a week Wink and I will be much more vocal and less polite during labour next time Hmm

ispyfispi · 19/06/2015 10:44

Fx you're close Pear. Agonising indeed! I'm really hoping I ov over the weekend. I've had 6 (I think) flashing smileys, ics beginning to show, even think I had ewcm today Grin I'm on cd 13 and always used to ov fairly early in my cycle. I shall keep you all posted!

Ava it sounds really promising for you Smile

I can't remember how old your lo is Trin but if the weaning has been stress free it must have been the right time for you.

Thanks for the app recommendation, I shall look it up now.

Ava, if you don't mind me asking, can you remind me your AF stats please?! ie, when they returned, how long they were anovulatory and what if anything you think triggered ov for you? I was hoping that since mine took 19mo to return it meant I'd be fertile right away as I think if they return early they are usually anovulatory for a while?

Trinpy · 19/06/2015 10:53

I'm laughing at your description of throwing up on the midwife Ava but I'm sure that can't have been a nice experience. I remember getting really annoyed during labour when the midwife rang the hospital for a second mw because I'd said I was ready to push now (I had a home birth) the mw in charge insisted that she check I really was in the second stage rather than relying on me knowing. I was a bit Hmm as it's a pretty unmistakable feeling when a human head is forcing it's way out of your fanjo!

ispyfispi · 19/06/2015 11:00

Gosh Trin I'd have been seriously annoyed too. My second midwife arrived as ds was crowning! Actually the same happened with dd too ????Maybe next time they'll call sooner!

Trinpy · 19/06/2015 11:07

Thanks ispy. He's almost 15 months, so we had a good run and I'm glad we managed it without any tears or stress.

I've just heard my cousin is pregnant again. Her dd was born just before my ds. I have a family wedding coming up in August so I'm anticipating lots of 'so when are you having the next one then Trinpy?' Since ds turned 1 I think I've yet to go a whole week without someone asking about when we're having dc2. It's starting to grate a bit...

ispyfispi · 19/06/2015 11:29

Ah but you'll probably be pregnant by August Trin Wink if it makes you feel any better (it probably won't) I conceived dc2 when dc1 was 22mo and it's a super age gap, I'm not sure I would have managed much closer...

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 15:59

No problem iSpy - I'm 35 and DD is 25 months, and AF returned for me when DD was 16 months. Like you I thought I'd fall pregnant straight away, as AF took so long to come back and as we'd fallen pregnant with DD the first cycle of ttc, and we'd actually been ttc #2 since DD was 6 mos. unfortunately, the first 6 AFs we're very light for me - just 3 days of light to medium bleeding with cycles of 26/27 days with only 1 positive opk during that time (during my very first cycle Hmm) It wasn't until February this year that I had my first 'proper' AF with normal to heavy bleeding for 5/6 days. It was then that I started temping to figure out what was going on, and got my first positive opk the next cycle. I don't think I did anything different as such. I had been actively trying to cut down on feeds since 18 mos but I was still pretty much feeding as and when DD requested it. since DD turned two and is starting nursery in September (for which I'd like her weaned completely) I'm offering DD the choice of boobie or prize when she asks for the boob. 90% of the time she says 'prize' and will happily sit doing her sticker book for a while and forget about the boob Smile so we're feeding a lot less than we used to, which is why I think my progesterone levels may have risen. But as we co sleep, and can sometimes feed a few times during the night, I'm reluctant to get my hopes up just yet, as I may be one of the unlucky ladies who needs to completely wean to get pg again Confused hope this helps x

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 16:05

Trinpy, I politely told the midwife that either I was going to poop in the hospital bed or there was in fact a baby's head trying to push it's way out of my Shock DH only narrowly got to witness the birth as the idiots midwives sent him home, assuring him that I'd be in labour for days yet! Luckily I told him to go and do a couple of jobs but come back soon. He turned up just as I was being whisked away in a wheelchair to the delivery suite - a minute later and he would've missed it Hmm Angry

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 16:24

Oh Trinpy, I've been / am there!!! My sister had her first baby in February of this year and I've had no end of queries from those unaware that we are desperately ttc asking whether or not it's made me broody? ("so much it hurts, you utter numpty" Hmm) and when am I going to have another one?? ("just hang on while I consult my crystal ball..." Confused) but the best comments / advice I got was "well you'd better get a move on" ("I am aware if my age, ffs") and "oh, try to have them close in age, it's so much better" ("that was actually my first thought, and why I've been ttc for 20 sodding months!") Angry Angry Angry

Needless to say, I don't actually say what's in my head, lol, and I don't want to keep overstepping the boundaries of polite conversation by going into our ttc efforts, especially when it's someone you don't see very often/know very well and you're out in public or it's someone I work with Hmm so I just use this reply, with a fixed smile on my face, and actively stop myself saying any more "we're just focussing on DD right now".......

So, brace yourself for the upsetting and annoying questions /comments /'advice' like you are doing but go armed with a succinct cover-all response. And, like iSpy said, you may be yourself by then Wink I hope you are, but if you're not, it will happen eventually and in the meantime, make sure you have Cake to hand when you feel a dreaded question coming on. No one can expect and answer from you with a mouth full of Cake and that goes for any situation, not just weddings - the endorphins also make you less likely to want to physically push these people away from you too Wink Grin Flowers

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 16:32

aware of my age

You may be pg yourself by then

I really should proof-read my posts before posting!!! Hmm

Trinpy · 19/06/2015 17:39

Aw thanks ispy and Ava that does make me feel better. Some people really need to think before they speak!

ispyfispi · 19/06/2015 18:44

Thanks so much Ava. There are a lot of similarities. We started ttc when ds was 9mo despite no af. I have a feeling I'm going to have some anovulatory cycles as we still bf on demand and cosleep. I had been trying to reduce feeds to trigger af but this last week while we've been away he's bf sooooo much! This af did last 5 days but wasn't very heavy so that's not a good sign. I can't imagine how hurtful some of those stupid comments are when you've been trying as long as you have....

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 19:53

ISpy, don't think you will necessarily have to cut down on feeds though - a lot of the graduates from this thread, and previous ones, don't seem to have cut down on feeds or have successfully caught the first egg - it's just luck of the draw, I think?? Good luck Wink

ispyfispi · 19/06/2015 20:30

Ah thanks, it seems very unfair that often the ones who want to feed for longer are the ones who have to wean to conceive. I've no plans to stop feeding anytime soon but I'll have to see how desperate I get as the months go by!
Forgot to say before, I'm 31, ds is 19mo and I also fell pg super easy before (I was on the pill first time Confused)

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 21:43

Did you bf DC #1, and if you did, for how long and how did you feel when you stopped? I set myself a number of cut-off goals along the way, and as the time approached we just weren't ready. I chose not to sacrifice the feeding in order to conceive. There would be no guarantee that we'd conceive if I had weaned sooner anyway, but DD being so upset at being denied boob would have been awful. We're both happy to be working towards fully weaning now she's a bit older, and more easily distracted/interested in other drinks, but I'm still not in a rush. It's been a lovely journey and, like you said, there are advantages to a larger age gap Grin

peardrop2 · 19/06/2015 22:09

Evening ladies! Feeling rather excited after spotting some more ewcm tonight and I swear the second line on my stick was a tad darker this morning. My next batch of Smiley sticks arrived today so it has to be Sod's law that I get a smiley tomorrow surely?!?!?! Now I've just got to get DH in the mood Blush

AvaAmulet · 19/06/2015 23:35

Good luck, Pear! Sounds promising Smile

ispyfispi · 19/06/2015 23:47

Aw good luck Pear. My disappointment each morning is diminished slightly when one of you lovely lot has some good news Smile

Ava yes I bf dc1 for 20mo. I was young and didn't know anyone who had ever/was bf so I assumed a year was about right. I figured he'd be well into solids and could then go straight onto cows milk. Obviously after 12mo of bf to sleep, cosleeping etc....there was no way he was ready to stop Grin
I was less confident about bf a toddler then and worked towards weaning but it took 8mo to wean gently. Af returned then at 20mo, I had one cycle then conceived dd immediately. I had completely weaned though whereas this time I'm much more confident about feeding ds2 for longer. Also, ttc #3 took 5 cycles and I wasn't even bf as I had a 7yr gap between #2 and #3!

AvaAmulet · 20/06/2015 00:08

I've mentioned on here before how my sister (who's 5 years younger than me) is so glad that I bf as she's bf'ing her DD and if it wasn't for me she'd have no one else around her with any experience of it Shock all of her friends have DCs and it didn't occur / appeal to any of them to bf! You did fantastically bf'ing your first until 20 months Star

ispyfispi · 20/06/2015 00:18

Yes I find bf tends to be a parenting style as much as a feeding choice and it's so important to be able to talk to someone who understands say, cluster feeding in the early days etc...
I had one friend who had a baby a few months after me and bf and I know she really appreciated my reassurance. I did the bf peer supporter training after that too.

I have to say, bf my children is probably my proudest accomplishment Smile

AvaAmulet · 20/06/2015 00:34

Aww that's lovely, iSpy. My sister had people asking her in the first few weeks if the baby was sleeping through yet! Crazy! Apparently her friends would give their DCs a bottle of formula before bed and they'd sleep through?! Confused Breastfeeding during the twilight hours in the early days where it feels like everyone else in the world is asleep except for you and your baby are some if my happiest memories, I felt so content Grin

peardrop2 · 20/06/2015 06:29

Oh man Hmm CD22 and still no smiley. I was so hopeful too. This wait is awful...worse then the 2ww Confused

ispyfispi · 20/06/2015 07:17

Oh no Pear. How long do you expect your cycle to be? A week of flashing smileys for me now so not looking good for me either ???? at least with the 2ww you know you have a chance but this ov business is pretty crucial. My enthusiasm for dtd has definitely faded and I'm down to my last stick so pretty much done for this month I think.

Ava I couldn't agree more Smile