We may be rude, some call us crude, but noone can deny, when times get tough or you're feeling rough, on the Viroids you can rely.Among the laughs this bunch of dafts will pick you up each time -JS 48

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2382636-We-may-all-have-the-rabies-crazies-but-we-don-t-need-no-hints-thanks-Grab-yourself-a-small-cider-get-your-sex-towels-at-the-ready-it-s-Just-Shagging-47?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2388137-Were-waving-our-poms-poms-and-eating-our-magnums-as-we-try-not-to-lose-control-of-our-bladders-Its-JS-Grads-29" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2355867-Weve-no-time-for-JSing-Were-battling-green-nappies-sleepless-nights-x-box-playing-men-and-trying-to-hide-our-sling-addictions-Fuck-it-lets-do-a-runner-on-a-golf-cart" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//www.docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of <strong>TinyChat</strong> is <a class="break-all" href="//www.justgiving.com/tinychat/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Sorry to hear that totally

stoat I think everyone's experience of mc is different, but I though getting pg again would help and I've found it hard that it hasn't happened yet. I find it hard each time I hit a milestone - when I would have had my 12 week and 16 week scan etc.

stoat I don't know what to say. i mc my twin beans just before your mc, and even after taking 2 years to even get to that first bfp, and going through the mentally and physically gruelling process of ivf to get it, only for it to be taken from me a week later I have managed to find peace with it and look forward. you need to find a way to accept what has happened or it will destroy you. do you think perhaps part of it is guilt? I remember you saying you weren't 100% sure about ttc before the mc? you need to stop punishing yourself and move on. I found having my necklace helps. it feels like my babies are with me next to my heart everyday.

Chat it is so tough, I do agree with others that Ain's idea is lovely. Stay strong

Stoat I'm so sorry you're finding it hard. Mc is just so utterly unfair. It feels like it was a terrible mistake, and the universe has to set it right by giving you a sticky BFP as soon as possible. It also doesn't help with everyone saying how super fertile you are right after mc (is there actually any scientific evidence of this?). But then months go by and it doesn't happen

I'd like to say something that would help but I know the only thing that will is BFP. Unfortunately, I don't know when it will happen for us but it will. I wish we could know when though

I've heard counselling can help, but I've not had it myself. I hope you find some help soon

all around!

Thankyou for your kindness.

Sorry totally that is the absolute worst.

Yes little I agree on the milestones. I find the social milestones hardest than the medical ones. Like the fact that I should have had a meternity occasion wear dress for the wedding of my friends this month. That I will be going to a conference in September when I should be nowhere near fit to fly.

You are right lil, and you have done amazingly accepting it and moving forward. I don't think it's guilt - you are right I wasn't 100% about TTC (I 100% wanted a baby but I didn't think I was up to the task of being someone's mum or that my body was up to pregnancy)....it's the rejection. I don't know who by - not the baby obviously - but definitely an overpowering sense that I am not Good Enough to be in The Club and that I deserved to have a miscarriage. (There's a chance these aren't rational thoughts...).

I had my bracelet and that's nice, though I have gone off wearing it for some reason, I can't bear it at the moment. My Aching Arms bear brings me some comfort...but then that just makes me a 35 year old woman holding a teddy bear and sobbing. I've had some good days...the witch is on her way and we've had a pregnancy announcement so I've jumped back quite a lot, that's the second this month.

Crosspost carrot thank you so much. I agree that the superfertile MC thing has bugged me. I've had counselling and am continuing with it - I find it useful. I'm literally counting down the hours until tomorrow's session. My GP wants to refer me to specialist miscarriage support.

I also think I need to come to terms with the physical side of it...I found the management of the mc traumatic and it doesn't always help with tjhe JSing that sometimes when we are getting down to it, the process of the miscarriage is replaying in my head. so counselling it is...

Oh that's good Stoat, I hope you have a good session tomorrow.

Pregnancy announcements are hard, I've moved on after my mc but I still find those hard, or facing women with bumps when out and about... I just keep thinking how big my bump would be now...

I find that having a "project" is somewhat helpful - for me it's losing weight, but can be anything - running a marathon? Something that can take your mind off TTC a bit. Of course you will still feel devastated when AF arrives, but it is a little bit easier if you have something else to concentrate on. Of course, everyone is different, I'm just sharing what I've found helpful.

Don't be hard on yourself. You might not be in Mums' Club yet (but you will be, they are just rubbish with admin there and taking their time in sorting out your membership paperwork) but at least you get to hang out here with us

Just bought myself some OPKs and cheap preggo tests from Amazon! I am going to pee on EVERYTHING this cycle

we're on the penultimate page here ladies - who's up for new fred generation? i am not wuude enough

we need somehting to give us all a little nudge back into JS mode perhaps?... less POAS, less fretting, more bfps, more laughs, crafts, cats, gardening loves and wuudeness? ;)

stoat sorry you are having such a hard time post mc - it took me a while, I was desperate to be pg again. I've just kind of accepted that it isn't going to happen and channelling my thoughts and efforts into finding out why? But that has only been recently, I hope you don't have wait as long as I have x

I've got what I think is one of the worst mc anniversaries this weekend - one whole year since I actually mc - never thought I'd be here without either a baby by now or at least being pregnant, gx it does happen for us all

aux had an awesome idea for next thread title

I have PMed her to come along and do it.

No POAS for me for the next 28 days, just cape donning.

stoat no advice to give so sending hugs.

Sorry you're out totally

I'm feeling fed up. Dp is away over when I shoukd ice this cycle so I'm feeling pissed off

So in the vague hope I might get a shag vaguely near my ov date I'm thinking lube. Conceive plus or preseed? Or much of a muchness?

Wish I had thoughts about lube that involved a wild night of conquering new sexual boundaries but no, this is apparently my life!

Just you need a shag. I think an orgasm will sort your out. Jump him been af buggers off!

Just shag as much up to and after as you can. You never know you may ice a little earlier/later

We use a little concieve plus. Not too much though. There's such thing as too slippery haha

we used preseed, was nice enough but no bfp. stopped after 3months as it was £12.99 a tube

I read that as a slippery haha! Good advice, I'll be donning the cape as soon as af fucks off.

I've been typing like a buffoon all day. Apologies for spelling, grammar and wrong word errors

Yeah I suspect it will do nothing. I'll try a tube of cp and then I'll stop. I have a slippery enough ha ha as it is!

Oww just you are cruel!!

Hello everyone

Nothing to report on the TTC front. AF requiring a yellow tampon for the first time in years. Sooooooo bloated, hard little tum.

MILs bday, out for lunch - crab sandwich and chips by the sea, sticky toffee pudding with ice cream and half a bottle of rose. THATS how to get through your period

Big big big but gentle squeeze for stoat and hello to totally

What on earth is a yellow tampon Thursday?

TMI alert!

AF has been a total witch for me this month! Started on the 3rd, right on time for my 38 day cycle (boo! when's it going to get shorter? hating the post-pill periods). The first few days were very light, so much so that I POAS to check it was definitely a period. Negative, so it was just a weird period. Bad cramps yesterday and was a bit heavier. Woke up this morning to a scene from the shining! Only changed the bed yesterday and I had to rip off the duvet cover, the fitted sheet and the mattress protector and throw them in for another wash and still had to get 1001 stain remover to the mattress
No idea what is going on with me right now.. AF still not showing any signs of ending soon.

I'm having weird AFs too fluffy This one keeps stopping and starting, on one day, nothing yesterday and then it has started again this evening.

Perfect way to get through period!
Haven't bought a yellow tampon in years

Just done my usual cd2 amazing order, opks, ic pg tests and vitamins. Added conceive plus and a thermometer.

Know it's been done to death but someone run me through temping please....