We may be rude, some call us crude, but noone can deny, when times get tough or you're feeling rough, on the Viroids you can rely.Among the laughs this bunch of dafts will pick you up each time -JS 48

[lildottie]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 47 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2382636-We-may-all-have-the-rabies-crazies-but-we-don-t-need-no-hints-thanks-Grab-yourself-a-small-cider-get-your-sex-towels-at-the-ready-it-s-Just-Shagging-47?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2388137-Were-waving-our-poms-poms-and-eating-our-magnums-as-we-try-not-to-lose-control-of-our-bladders-Its-JS-Grads-29" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2355867-Weve-no-time-for-JSing-Were-battling-green-nappies-sleepless-nights-x-box-playing-men-and-trying-to-hide-our-sling-addictions-Fuck-it-lets-do-a-runner-on-a-golf-cart" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings can be found <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2358940-The-title-of-those-conception-threads-rein-it-in-their-please-ladies?" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="//www.docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The JustGiving page to donate in memory of <strong>TinyChat</strong> is <a class="break-all" href="//www.justgiving.com/tinychat/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Gx for you too penny!

GX penny just and thursday I'm not gonna pee tomorrow I don't think, AF is due tomorrow but I might wait until the end of the week as she's so sneaky 4 bloody days late last month too much false hope

So the whore turned up in full force a day late wtf!!! Confirmed ice through temping too!

Cd1 cycle 6 sigh

country She's such a an evil minx

country and some choc too.

I'm not really sure when I'll poas if I need to. I reckon if AF hadn't arrived in Monday I won't be able to resist nipping out yo the shops on Tues. But today I feel symptomless, so not getting hopes up and having beers tonight

Sorry Country, she's a bitch. for you. And gx to Thursday, Just and Penny.
Pud I'm feeling okay, just utterly exhausted. Not sure if it's related or just the roller coaster of emotions this month. No one is talking about our line in our house and think DH is too scared to believe it. I do believe it but am scared for what doc will say. My 2-4day blood were Monday so wondering if it will show up on that. Just taken DC to see In The Night Garden Live and she loved it. Toddlers went NUTS for Upsy Daisy!

Gx for penny just and Thursday!!! Hope this is your month.

DH is not in my good books today. I'm aware I could be being a grumpy cow though.

Forgot to take my temp this morning. Grrr.

Though I have avoided DH and had sunshine all day by sitting in the garden to do my data and then actually planted some stuff! Having only got a garden when we bought this house last year gardening is not my forte.

Best make up with DH I suppose. We're going to be raving it up at an 80th birthday tonight and I'm going to need someone to talk to.

Shower first though. I am covered in mud!

Gx for you all viroids.

penny are you new? Or have I missed you before? If so then welcome! Good luck holding out.

country sorry lovely, that's shit. I'm sure I'll be in same position tomorrow so we can pick each other up. Hugs cycle buddy

ain hope you make up, if only for the company at the party!

thursday ditto but prosecco

Country what a bitch,

Gx for whoever is testing.

Well done on gardening Ain

I'm feeling upset but I don't know why. I guess this whole no job no baby thing is really starting to get to me... It didn't help when my mum declared yesterday that DS needs a brother or sister to play with she doesn't know we are TTC or about mc.

And I feel a right cow for complaining when so many of you are TTC your first

Thanks viroids. Am drinking all the booze. We're sad about it :(. This shit is waaaay hard I don't know how you gals you've been at this for ages cope. Took the niece swimming today and was so proud and a bit jealous got a bit emotional dammit. Stupid fanjo

Carrot don't feel bad. You have a right to moan as much as others

I'm sorry carrot and countryI really how your BFP is not too far away.

I'm so glad we have this team of lovely viroidsI feel so much better having your support through the good and the bad. and for everyone

Hello ladies. I have had a bit of a break this week, I've decided I can't continue obsessing as I was, as I've been getting in a real tizz. The ovulation sticks (I have the clear blue smiley faces ones) have definitely helped, in that I'm not wondering about it. I'm due on a week from now I think and will be able not to POAS as I have a champagne afternoon tea on Saturday so I won't want to know either way.

I'm going to regret saying this but I need to get it out. I was very chilled TTC and got pregnant quicker than I'd expected, I really hadn't thought about it too much. Then of course I had the mc and it CONSUMED me. Today, I actually feel rather cold about it all and I don't know why, considering I'm still massively upset that my former best friend is expecting her third a month after me to the extent I've had to unfollow her on Facebook (just for context - the friendship was on it's arse before I got pregnant, she was great when I shared my news on the phone, absent after the mc and then announced it on Facebook and texted me the next day saying she didn't want me finding out on Facebook but hadn't phoned me because I would feel awkward). I'm sorry, I know you're not supposed to say this. I know I want a baby, I think a lot of it is MC related because I haven't thought about the specific baby I lost, just getting pregnant again. Now all I can think about is that baby I lost.

Oh Carrot and Country . I'm sorry you're so sad.

I've put a fair bit of gin away whilst watching the football

Oh stoat. All your feelings are perfectly normal and natural. If staying away from this thread helps you, that's all that matters to us

Mixing up your feelings with someone's else's, and further with the end of a friendship (I've been through something similar recently), it get awfully complex. Look after yourself, that's number one xxx

stoat there is no right way to feel about either ttc or mc, we just feel what we feel, and that will change over time.

Sometimes opks will help, sometimes friends n viroids can help, sometimes nothing can really help...i hope u find something that helps like the opks did.

u will be ok

Evening all! Had a lovely day at Grandma's house, staying the night and have a day out planned for tomorrow.

for those that need it!

carrot I agree 1st or 10th it is still hard, so moan away. I do appreciate you recognising you are lucky to have a DC already though. that's another thing I love about you viroids, there's buckets of empathy in here.

o day shag done. for my dh!

DH and I have made up now. The party was okay. I spent most of the time we were there talking to my immediate close family, though met some family members that I don't remember ever meeting before.

This evening I'm feeling all a bit teary about ttc. I love that I have you viroids. I really really do. But sometimes wish I had someone in real life to talk to too. All of this is getting a bit too much tonight.

Sorry. That was a very me me me post.

aww ain hang in there. talking of family have you seen your sister again?

I risk outing myself saying, but I'm sharing because I really value you ladies and it might help. Something has really affected me this week, (other than than bfp). A friend of mine is dying and doesn't have long left. This week they came closer to accepting it and they're advice to me was to live in the moment. It was so powerful and I must listen to it. I'm lucky in so many ways and one of them is that it's the first conversation I've shared with someone that knew they were dying. It's fucked up. Life is a fucked up. It's beautiful and cruel all at the same time. This week has really shown me how quickly things can change and how happiness can be found and lost in a moment. Live in that moment viroids. for those that need them.

Hugs for ain and five and anyone else who needs them.

Are you all busy shagging?

I wish I was quiet because we were snagging!! Had a bad night with dd last night so little sleep. Then she woke me up this morning by shouting in my ear. She's been chatting away 19 to the dozen this morning and has been very loud about it!! Lol. Trying to keep her quiet with peppa pig but she has started to sing along!!

Going to be a long day I think. I'm so tired. And I have a dry, sore throat. One of those horrible ones where your throat stays dry when you drink tons. Any ideas for today's beverages / medicine?

five I don't really know what to say. You and your friend are right about living in the moment. Your friend sounds like a strong person, and I hope they do live in the moment and enjoy as much of life as possible.

Lil I actually saw my sister yesterday. I don't think I shared it on here, (I've said a few things on here recently that have risked outing myself) but yeah, she's actually living with my dad now so I can see her a lot more often. My dad lives about an hour away from me, so not quite as good as down the road but fantastic considering I didn't see her for 7 years!!!

NFMV sticky cm, and slight cramps. My temp this morning was up again, but I didn't take it straight away, I spent a good 10 15 min or so thinking about a bad dream that had woken of up before I remembered to temp, so do I discard it?

Ain I would, unless you didn't move at all during that time.