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Conception

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Original poster

help! i'm feeling broody

65 replies

lieman · 30/04/2004 18:40

i'm feeling very broody at the moment can someone please talk me out of it!

i've 2 kids 4& 6 and am 34. i work part time and spend the rest of my time taxing kids everywhere. dh doesn't really want anymore but i could probably talk him into it.

i've only just got my life back in order and got a great job after the last one and i know i couldn't give my 2 kids as much if i had another but i think if i don't have another one now i never will.

am i mad

OP posts:

foxinsocks · 14/07/2004 11:10

boots/brads, my dh is an only child as well. I think his mum and dad wanted more but couldn't have any (and no fertility treatment those days).

He says to me that he never missed having sibs because he never had them in the first place! Also, his mum and dad were brilliant about encouraging him to socialise - always offered to take friends on holiday with them etc. All dh's friends are very fond of his parents as they often stayed over when they were kids. I also think dh has closer friends than me because I had 2 sisters (one who was very close in age to me) and I think I tended to worry less about my friends because I always had my sisters.

In terms of looking after parents when older, I must say this is one of dh's concerns - the fact that he has to shoulder the burden of their old age on his own. But as I have told him, I am here to help (and although they are not my family, I would certainly help out where I could).

foxinsocks · 14/07/2004 11:12

oops that sounds a bit callous 'although they are not my family!' - what I mean is that even though they aren't my family, as they are dh's and he is a very important part of my life I would do whatever I could to help them out!

Wifeof · 14/07/2004 11:33

Sponge, how are you getting on being pg at 41? Have you had any nasty experiences (I mean people making comments etc)? Ikeep thinking that I'd be 45 taking potential #3 for their first day at school and that does put me off a bit! Even last year at 39 I was/am one of the oldest mothers of a 5 yr old....

bootsmonkey · 14/07/2004 11:36

Also Sponge - how old is your DH if you don't mind me asking as mine is 47 this year and really feels too old to be a father again.

Wifeof · 14/07/2004 11:36

....I mean at our local school. (I must preview these msgs before I post!)

BTW, good luck with your forthcoming baby

sponge · 14/07/2004 11:50

DH is 40 (my toyboy ).
I haven't had any comments about my age. Amongst dd's friends there are quite a few older mums - a couple of others in their early 40s and several in their late 30s still trying for number 2, so actually it's the younger mums who are in th minority.
Being pregnant this time is slightly harder than it was 4 years ago but I'm still pretty fit amd don't feel 40 - and it's nearly over (fingers crossed).
I would balk at leaving it too much later though (especially as it seems to take us 3-4 years to conceive so could be 45 if we went for a 3rd) just because I don't want to be retirememnt age (however young a 60 I might be) and have kids still at school.

I think the age thing matters a bit less for the dad though. I know a couple of 50 year old men who have recently become new dads with second wives and one of our friend's dh is 43 and they're trying for number 2. I guess it's up to your dh whether he feels up to it or whether he's ready for his pipe and slippers .

bootsmonkey · 14/07/2004 12:36

(Un)Fortunately he's not the pipe and slippers type, but I do think he is worried about being so much older than everyone else at the school gates (10yrs+++). He has visions of being wheeled round by a teenage DD in a bathchair! He is the primary carer though and so bears the brunt of the day to day stuff. Both of us look back at the first 12mo. with a mixture of horror and wonder that we got through it!

Good luck BTW - are you on count down mode yet??

Angeliz · 14/07/2004 12:49

my dp is 48 and i'm pregnant with our second. we may have more, see what this one's like

I don't think dp is that bothered about his age,(has obviously been discussed), but he's a young 48 and i have NO intention of letting him retire early, he's do my head in

(I'm 30 BTW)

Bradsmum · 14/07/2004 13:05

Thank you all for your replies - I feel somewhat better. Also to you who are "older mums" - I had my ds when I was 39 am now 41 and although it never worries me being older (certainly don't feel it) I guess my time for having another child is running out fast so have to accept my lot. Would have loved another one but will have to spoil my ds rotten ....

bootsmonkey · 14/07/2004 13:32

Good luck Angeliz! My DP is also very young at heart and is a joy to watch with our DD, but he FEELS older now he is a dad - does that make sense? He is not against having another, but dosn't want to do it again without backup - we have no family near by - or as a SAHD.

bootsmonkey · 14/07/2004 13:32

(I'm 35 this year BTW)

Sid · 14/07/2004 14:17

Just do it! I think if you really want another, throw caution to the wind....and you will cope, whatever happens. (Thus speaks someone who with her husband thought long and hard about having no.3 and never thought she'd want another after, but I do. My dh has been very anti, but I sense a certain changing in his attitude for no reason I can work out - so I might get lucky )

Sid · 14/07/2004 14:17

I'm 38, btw.

Angeliz · 14/07/2004 14:20

thanks bootsmonkey

In reply to your post lieman, i think if you really want another then you might regret Not having it. Go on, join the queezy club

Wifeof · 14/07/2004 14:34

Sid,

Misunderstood yr message - have you had #3? If so, how old are #1 and #2?

(Just interested in age differences )

TheBoysMum · 14/07/2004 16:10

I think I must be strange. I had ds1 and felt broody a couple of hours later. The feeling didn't go away until I had conceived ds2 six months later. Within hours of having ds2 I felt broody and feel it all the time. ds2 is 10 months old now. I really want a third child, dh has been convinced, but I think I have been suffering from a bit of PND since ds2. I cry a lot and some days I feel really bleak, so we are going to hold off until I feel better.
Anyone think having kids close together increases your chances of PND? I have never been mrs glum, but I have been feeling pretty miserable (but broody with it! ) for rather a long time now. BTW I absolutely LOVE being pregnant too.
I am 35 and am glad I didn't start having kids years ago - I would probably have a football/hockey team by now

dilligaf · 14/07/2004 17:55

Never give up i had my 4th at 43 without trying bit of a suprise(shock) but i wouldnt be without him now It can happen when you least expect it. His siblings are all grown up and living away from home so he is like an only child. I dont think it makes any difference to him as long as he has friends and knows we love him. He's not any less happy than my girls who grew up as a unit of 3.

Wifeof · 14/07/2004 21:37

Thanks girls, you're all making reassuring noises. I do occasionally wonder what I'm bothered about, especially as an acquaintance started off with twins at 26 and has just had #7 (and she had to be induced!!!!!!)

jrsmum · 15/07/2004 13:46

As one of a unit of 3 I nust say I did enjoy having sisters and would like my ds to have a sibling to keep him company. as we move a lot it nice that they always have to omeone to play with and talk to him who is going through exactly the same problems with settling!

bootsmonkey · 15/07/2004 14:04

7!!!!!!!!!!

Flippin' 'eck

nutcracker · 15/07/2004 14:07

Am quite pleased to say that i am no longer feeling broody. Never ever thought that feeling would go away but it is definatly starting to fade.

Sid · 15/07/2004 14:09

Wifeof, mine are 7, 5 and 2. So if we did go for no.4, the gap would not be too big. A friend of mine, 42, has just told me she is pregnant with no.2 and her no.1 will be 6 - if you want reassurance re age gaps....

busybee123 · 15/07/2004 14:21

i am broody.........!!! my cousins got TEN KIDS!!!

Wifeof · 15/07/2004 14:31

If we got on with it and I had #3 next year, ds would be 9 and dd 6. I'm worried that ds would get left out because dd is very into babies and would probably love it (except her usual lack of attention from moi). Anyone else got valuable experience here?

Wifeof · 15/07/2004 14:32

Busybee123, 10 each or between them?

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