Don't mess with the Bumsnetters they have Angry Pubes!

[juneybean]

The Rules of Bumsnet

You can shag, you can syringe, you can temp, you can OPK; as long as your aim is a BFP!

We're cliquey so fuck off. LPB will be annihilated.

Make sure you're on the ###Bumsnet Bumstats###

melon my favourite mum/mil quote is "don't leave it too late!" I may deliberately put all my TTC paraphernalia on display next time one of them visits haha

nomio yes, though we'd have to turn away those who turned up without an appointment and were clearly knocked up already...

We would send them away with a swift kick up the bum, Woolly!

Eskimo - I'm sure you don't have them... They sound uncomfortable, I think you'd know! Xx

They certainly don't sound pleasant do they?

It's fairly quiet on here tonight. I should be marking, but I'm overcome with tiredness and having a cuddle with my boy dog, who has been in the vets all day again today. His limp just won't go, so he's been under GA again and had an injection directly into his elbow joint He needs his mum tonight

Indeed nomio!

Aww your poor dog eskimo, yes prioritise cuddles!

Thanks woolly. He's getting lots

My (feline) girls send many hugs to your boy Eskimo and hope that he gets better soon!

Agh power cut!!! I've been wandering around the house in the dark flicking all the trip switches! Phones the electricity company and they said there's a power cut. These things always happen when dp is working. I've found two candles and my torch I use for temping......MN by candlelight

Oh no spinning! How romantic though haha

Thanks night

spinning we had one in the middle of the night last week. Luckily, I had the alarm set on my phone too, otherwise my clock radio wouldn't have woken me up for work!

'Tis quiet here tonight....

tumbleweed

Oh Pug, don't do this to me; don't make me squeal laughing at the end of your ERPC story. It feels wrong on every level, but it's typical of you, lovely funny smart girl, to make us laugh. Bloody hell! Who needs a floater at a time like that? That fucking nurse wants a visit from one of my friends. The one called Rocky who once ate a human eyeball. That he'd gouged out with a corkscrew I couldn't believe how little I bled after my erpc; it really is a very effective operation Onwards and upwards for you now, old girl. We love you

Sammy, apologies, I thought an earlier HyCoSy would lead to an earlier shot at IVF. Four weeks is no time at all to wait. Did you ask your clinic for their IVF success rate?

I know I've been sounding extremely ungrateful for this unpaid eight-week work placement of mine. It is largely due to the pre-AF ragey hormones, but I cried on the train platform when DH & Nancy met me, then I cried all over my mum, who is absolutely not happy that I am unhappy with this situation.

I have been onto the gov.uk website to see how much better off we will be as a family if/when I get the paid job at the end of this placement (minimum wage £14,700 per year for 37 hours per week). It's not thrilling news: DH will lose his ESA benefit altogether - £238 per fortnight; housing benefit will be slashed from £109 per week to £75; we would have to go back to paying council tax (£80 per month); child tax credit would stay the same; I would get working tax credit (but I can't for the life of me seem to get a straight answer from the website as to how much).

I already feel I am neglecting Nancy working 30 hours a week. How will I feel when this turns into 37 hours? It's too much too soon. I haven't worked for eight years. I know you are probably thinking I am just work-shy or unused to those kind of hours, but I've grafted all my life right up until I was an alcoholic. I know the tedium of office life is just one of those things we have to suck up and get on with if we are to have cars and holidays and a bit of self-esteem, blah, blah. But when I look around at Chris the clown and the Welshman and my boss et al they are not happy. They are not fulfilled. They are very stressed and hate everyone who rings up for IT help. No-one feels as though they are doing something worthwhile.

I can't do that job when I have a 13 month-old baby at home. The money just isn't good enough to sacrifice this precious time with my tot. They can go fuck themselves. I'll find summat for 16 hours per week. Sorry for getting all that off my chest but I need you, my friends, to know how I feel. I've been told recently (via private message from someone who objected to some of my posts about Romanian gypsies) that I often treat this thread as The Purdie Show, and I guess this long and rambling post could be seen as evidence of that. I just need to hear some of you say I'm doing the right thing by putting the baby first. What's the use in being away from my baby all day long, every day of the week, in order to try to fund IVF for a sibling? I already have a baby and she's here, right under my nose, waving me off on the platform as I go to work at that minimum-wage job...

Woolly, it may be romantic if dp was here!!

4G keeps cutting out so I can't even MN, early night I think!

I will catch up on others' news tomorrow if you don't mind, lovelies. I'm going to bed

purds if I had a baby I'd be putting it first. Everyone's different. Working 15 hours or so a week sounds ideal to me. You do what you need. Being away from Nancy pants must he bloody hard.
Sleep well.
spinning hope the lecky comes back soon. Not so much fun on your own.

Purdie, if the jobs not right then don't do it. You'll easily find a job for 16 hours. As you said last week in your interview, you're not looking for a career, you just want to have some time out and a bit of cash in your pocket. Of course you miss Nancy, I couldn't have spent that long away from my babies when they were that young but we're all different. Some it suits and some it doesn't. As I said at the start, you must do what's right for you and your family
Oh and you are definitely not a slacker!

Purdie - if you hate it that much, get out! It doesn't sound like it's going to make you better off, and you're missing your bubby. Get something part time so you don't go out of your mind watching cbeebies (my phone tried to autocorrect that to cheekbones!) and going to baby group. That way you'll be a fab mum when you're there, and a fab employee when you're at work

I didn't ask about success rates as so far my appointments have all been with the gynae clinic, but the HyCoSy is through the fertity clinic so will ask then. Realistically it's our only option really, so not sure what I'll do if the success rate is low.... Xx

Purdie I agree with absolutely everything you have said. You're not happy and you already have a gorgeous DD so what is the point in tormenting yourself and going through this turmoil everyday? This time with your DD is precious so make the most of it. I work for a charity and see this all the time; people working when really they're no better off by doing it. In fact some are worse off as they have to pay rent and council tax. I definitely don't think you're work shy.

purdie my take on this....I would echo what the others say about doing what's right for you and your family, don't carry on if it's making you this unhappy. What I would add is, please think through it again in a week's time, pre-AF hormones can be a right bitch and make everything seem utterly poo....if you feel the same then, you'll know it's definitely the right decision

Admit it,Purds, you just miss us lot too much!

I agree that there is no point doing a job you hate for no financial benefit. Every day is precious when you have a baby, and you don't want to miss out on any big moments.

I think working part time would be ideal for you. I do agree with Woolly though, pre AF is not the best time for rational thinking!

Eskimo, I hope your little pooch feels better soon.

I have my bum firmly ensconced on a pillow. Think I will OV tomorrow, so re-stocked the tadpoles!

Spinners I think it may be 4-5 days for sperm sample?! Power cut?! Urgh! Not ideal!!

Creme you never know! 12dpo is still early for BFPs.

Purdiepie

Dizzynorth well this is great though- that you have worked out that you have been stopping too early?! This could be the one!!!! Your friend is so lucky you have passed on your knowledge to her! I had to learn it all on MN! Ha

Thepug hope you are cosy and being well looked after at home now. The good points are great! The bad points- let's gloss over them, throw them in a box and chuck it down the river never to be seen again! Urgh! So sorry you have had some really rubbish care during all this. I know you are a tower of strength and will pick yourself up again but allow yourself some time too to get over this in whatever way works best for you. Sending lots of positive thoughts and strength to you.

Sammy isn't this the best news?! Actual treatment is not long away at all!!.. And you may get that BFP before that! Sorry you have to wait so long though did HyCoSy, although it is reported to be much better than an HSG for lots of reasons- which I now see you are aware of..! Chops we had the old school HSG.. Gutted.. No fancy scans for us! I think you are right to take your time to make decision about private Sammy, you have had such a long wait to get to this point so do whatever you feel is best.. Three cycles goes in quick in some ways.. Especially when you know there are plans in place at the end of them

Queen so sorry for AF.. And the hair extension?! Euww!

Night that seems insane. Ok so options are to go with what they are saying.. Tell a white lie at another clinic and say you have been trying longer... Or try somewhere else? I can't understand it, our local clinic run by a bupa affiliated company offer fertility assessment and consultation before you even start TTC?! So they run all the tests before. So it seems very strange that clinic are turning away what -let's face it- is business to them at the end of the day

Pikz hope you are a bit better today

Pixa hope you don't have a BBQ building hangover and all is ok!

Glitterbug I think you go Tomor and are packing tonight.. So I say again!.. Enjoy Italia you lucky duck! Buon viaggio!

Boris hope you are ok too!

Rainy only one day to go then until out of TWW limbo. Hope you are holding up ok lovely

Eskimo you are getting the better scan so don't worry! All good! Not long now..! Hope doggie gets better soon!

Froggypants hopeyou are feeling a little better sounds like a busy day! Retail therapy- yes!!

Choppers I'm sick to the back teeth (is that a Scottish expression?) of those nhs pads! Story of my life at the moment! Ha ha

Melon mothers....

Nomio hope you feel Better again tomorrow and good work on the pre OV action!!! Fingers firmly crossed!

Junebug if you are out there

Dizzymerry hope you are ok today lovely

Ciao ladies gonna miss you all! I'll try and check in when I can xxx

Glittery - have a fab time in Italy!

Sparkly - yes I know, it is good really. I'm still not sure what to do, I'm reluctant to spend the £425... I guess what I'm praying for is that there is a cancellation and we can get in before August! Xx

sparkly thanks, its doing my head in, i have not meant to symptom spot as bad as i have this month, it will be a cruel joke if the bitch comes, how are you my lovely? xx

purds I think you need to do what works for you and your family and if you do more than 16 hours a week and this makes you worse off then it just does not make sense, when you can be at home with Nancy pants and still work, so i say find a job that can match the 16 hours, it will give you the best of both worlds, your still earning and contributing to society and you will see your little one too!!