Bumsnet: we're raising our bums after TTC and waiting for our Angry Pubes.

[purdiepie]

Do you like feeling left out of a group? Do you enjoy being marginalised and isolated and picked-on? How about a good bullying? If so..you're in t'wrong place, cock, coz this 'ere is the TTC thread where you feel loved, embraced, encouraged, wanted, lusted after, admired, respected, thought-of with fondness, missed when you're away. We will even put up with your lazy, selfish bastard of a husband who would rather watch Chelsea romp through the Premiership than put a baby in your tum-tum.

Absolutely any old slag welcome, unless you already have a baby in your tum-tum and we're about as familiar with you as a condom. You can get lost

t'STATS, innit

Ha ha. Sorry Sparkly would it help if I told you he is terrified of flying? He literally needs to be drugged to get onto a plane. He definitely doesn't have a helicopter or a glider.

Oh yes, I love a bit of Harvey! Quite jealous you're only on season 3 sparkly and still have all the rest to look forward to!

Just back from a lovely bloody freezing day at the seaside. Am now trying to seduce DH but he's saying he's too tired. Gah! Not taking no for an answer as I'm ovulating today (not that that's my chat up line!) I fear some kind of outfit might be required here ...

Ah I get it now then. I did wonder what all the fuss was about when I saw the pic. I can't get box sets on sky so won't be able to watch.

Baker, get the outfit on, good luck
Ooh the seaside, where do you live? Don't answer if you'd rather not say.

Baker outfits are the way forward in these scenarios... or fishnet stockings, apparently.

The best advice I saw for tired men, was on the Facebook group, "just give him a little tickle around the nuts when he is half asleep"

pixa sorry. I'm not buying it. Ha ha. (Sorry for the flying phobia though! Bet it's not helped by all these tragic recent events!)

Baker get the sexy undies out!! Does it finish at season 4?!?

Spinning get yourself on netflix!

Ugh. I'm only on page 32. Thanks for the well-wishing for my poor mum.

Yes, I start my new job Monday and will work 30 hours over a four-day week for no pay for eight weeks. Today I have scoured the charity shops and found a gorgeous blouse and a rather pretty pair of pistachio suede flats. Dh was horrified I could stoop so low as to buy second-hand shoes, but as I explained on the phone to my bezzie later on, when you've sucked six strangers' cocks within an hour in a car park in Skelmersdale, there isn't really much that you balk at

Oh no Purdie is mum ok???

Purds Yes for the flats! Who the heck cares! I'm so excited for you but will Obvs miss your absence!!

Ha ha, thanks for the encouragement ladies!! Will give it a go!

I'm in Hertfordshire but we went for a drive to Norfolk coast - loved it but didn't think about it tiring DH out!

sparkly just read suits has been renewed for season 5

Sparkly Yeah, those events have been horrific. We have to turn the news off whenever they're mentioned. DH was on a flight once, and one of his many coping mechanisms is telling himself that the pilot has done it many times before... Well, DH was on a plane and the landing wasn't going to plan, the pilot attempted to land three different times. As DH was getting off the plane, he nervously joked about the landing to the air hostess, who then told DH that it was the pilots first ever commercial flight.

Flying phobias are so difficult, especially when you like travel. I am not sure he will fly with Malaysia Airlines anytime soon.

Phew Baker praise The Lord! Sounds like a nice day! Good luck tonight!! Get it onnnnnnn!

Purdie hope your mum is okay. I wish I hadn't just cleared out my work wardrobe, I sent lots of stuff to the charity shops recently because it's now too small for me and I would have happily sent it your way!

Pixa I hate flying. I got a bit better as years have gone on but yeh these horrific events terrify me and I still feel anxious flying. Your dh did well to survive that flight- although what choice do you have when you are on eh!

The man in that picture is boss-eyed. And I'm not entirely convinced he's not a midget

Pixa, welcome back!

I love MAC but resolutely refuse to spend £39 on a foundation brush made up of hair from a squirrel's ball-bag. I also refuse to be 'made up' by a man masquerading as a woman and calling himself Jade. What the absolute fuck are those guys playing at? Haven't they heard of Eddie Stobbart? Just as annoying is Gok fucking Wank telling us birds how to look less fat and munterish. Now there's patriarchy for you...

Pixa, you don't want to go to Malaysia anyway. It's shit. Full of teeny tiny prozzies clamouring to suck your husband off

Thanks Purdie, it's good to be back. Your posts always make me howl.

Sparkly, honestly, I love flying, but seeing what it does to DH, I have a new understanding of flight phobias and really feel for you. I can recommend a great doctor who happily prescribes diazepam when needed.

Purdie I have been to Malaysia, and I loved it... It was them Thai ladies in Phuket that vexed me. They really need to learn the word no. Sounding like a jealous bunny boiler

Pixa, being a size zero I'm not sure you could have helped me, but thanks anyway

Sparkly, my mum is so, so ill. She has a lung infection now..on top of her usual neuropathy pain. And her recently-diagnosed arthritis. She can't stop crying because she misses the baby so much but the doc told her she is highly contagious. She has to take antibiotics and eight steroids a day

No-where close to a size zero Purdie but thanks.

Eight steroids a day? Your poor mum! Sending flowers to you and your mum. I will keep her in my prayers for a speedy recovery.

Mac. The Cheryl Cole of make up. Totally overrated.

Rimmel and collection 2000 has got me through many a dog shit looking day.

Ugh. Those Thai prozzies are evil. I thought it was an urban myth that they would squeal: 'Nice man, nice man..you want sucky-sucky?' but it's bloody well true. Half of 'em are trannies too. How can you compete in the fellatio war when it's anuvver bloke?

Ahh sparkly love Suits - Harvey is a fox and caught up on Greys as well - we're boxset addicts up in this hiz-ouse.
Everybody's tea sounds delish...had a 1 years old birthday today so gorged on sarnies, sweets and cake. Too full for proper dinner so might Nutribullet the life outta some fruit and veg for supper so it's not a completely lost day