Our new greeting cards are here! We're making vaginal butter and baking in a sneaky shag from behind. Our skittletits can't hold us back - it's JS'ing 43!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2342663-We-let-our-miroids-tie-us-up-and-pee-while-were-in-the-tub-and-the-grads-often-visit-so-we-can-give-their-bumps-a-rub-Weve-a-syncro-pee-approaching-so-heres-hoping-for-a-BFP-filled-JS-No-42?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2344912-Our-super-healthy-fanjos-just-love-getting-their-five-a-day-but-we-draw-the-line-at-frozen-poopsicles-Were-the-25th-JS-Grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Lol Stoat you can piss on my chips no worries. And you can do that at any stage in your cycle without getting in trouble!! Very glad you have people in RL to support you xx

Stoat I mc'd in September. Had completely normal cycle in Oct and was quite accepting that I hadn't got pregnant again. But when AF arrived in November I sobbed for a whole day. I was playing guitar at church and sat there at the front crying as I played the chords. And just kept on bursting in to tears every few minutes all day. It was awful. I guess it hit me then that I wasn't going to get pregnant again instantly. So I get what you are feeling. It's normal, but it sucks. Take your time.

Wow congratulations yorkshirepud!!! Fab news. How many cycles in were you?

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Stoat. I've never been pregnant myself so don't know first hand what you're going through, but out of everyone I know in life who has been, I know very few people who've NOT suffered a miscarriage. Almost everyone from my mum, hairdresser, SIL, partners of DH's friends have had one, and all but one have gone on to have babies again (SIL hasn't but hers was not long ago). I know the fact that they're so common doesn't make it less devastating, but you're not on your own and there's no reason for you not to have a healthy baby soon. Chin up xx

Go pud go!!!! Yay! Just the good news we like to hear.

Feeling slightly like i could throttle (my normally wonderful) DH...v relaxed about my bleeding, Keeps telling me not to worry, i guess it just isnt real to him yet :(

congrats pud!! fantastic!

stoat I know how hard it is, but honestly you got pg so quickly, there is every reason to think you will again in a reasonable time scale. it took me 2.5years to even get as far as a mc. my most likely hope of another bfp is more intervention, more drugs and thousands of pounds. and I could do all that just to mc again. you are just at the beginning of this journey. chin up, or you'll drive yourself crazy. I'd recommend temping if you want some control over your cycles. I don't mean to sound harsh, just sometimes it helps to have some perspective.

Congratulations pud! Brilliant news!

5hell gx for tomorrow, let us know how you get on.

Stoat I'm sorry that you're struggling - I think it's perfectly natural to feel as you are. Have you had a look at the mc association website? I found some of the information there about trying again helpful. My wtf cycle was longer than normal but the eventual pattern after first 2 weeks was the same as usual. I really hope it doesn't take long for you to get your fbk again x

Jelly if you need to take a month of then do it - ttc can be stressful. A couple of months I realised we'd missed the boat on icing and it was quite nice not to have the tww pressure.

Ewa I'm married to a bar manager who is surrounded by booze every day and it's natural to drink after shift. Hardest thing in the world was getting him to cut down. We came to an agreement on a day of the week he can go get smashed with his mates after work. Rest of the week he would take the car in order to drive home and not drink. It took a very patient conversation explaining the issue to him - why don't you try sitting down with him for a chat about it?

I believe congratulations are in order pud!!! That's fantastic news. Some definite strong lines there. I could see them clearly on my phone without clicking on them to make them bigger! Today you are pregnant.

stoat I can't claim to know how you're feeling, but I am glad you have people to talk to in real life. Us viroids are always here for you but it's good to have an actual shoulder to cry on from time to time as well as a virtual one.

jelly hope you're okay. This ttc journey is turning out to be a stressful one. :-( take a month off if you need to. And I know you've heard it before, but remember that your lp has only just lengthened enough. I'm confident it will happen for you soon.

My sister has to go back home tomorrow. She doesn't want to but she has to be in school on Wednesday. After 7 years of not seeing her I'm not ready to say goodbye. At least we are in contact again though and I can hopefully see her again in something like 7 weeks instead of 7 years!

Digi says 1-2 weeks so I guess I did test early?! Looking, I'm only on my second cycle but feels buch longer as my cycles average about 45 days! Came off BC in late Nov, waited for first proper period and then started trying.

You add on another 2 weeks to digi pud - so you'll be about 4 weeks pg. Take date of pg from first day of last period.

Yes I was thinking about 4 weeks La. Last period was ages (6 weeks ish ago) due to long cycles so can't use that as a starting point!
DH is very proud of his jizz-bomb getting me preggers. Bless him.

You might get automatic early scan if you're lucky to date the pg then. I got one this time because I got pg straight after mc and so they couldn't date it. Last time I was told I'd have to pay and I did

yorkshirepud - MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS!!! I know it's early days yet, so you probably want to stay a little cautious, but it's still cause for celebrations!

Are you going to describe any symptoms in the run up for us so we can do some nerdy cross referencing and general geekery?

Wow, Pud that's super news! Congrats!

I'm entering my fertile window and we tried to dtd last night but DH found it sooo uncomfortable and quite painful. We couldn't continue. It's the first time we've not used condoms, so I was thinking maybe it was an issue with friction?? But we used plenty of lube (sperm-friendly of course!), to avoid that problem.
This is our first month trying and now we can't actually try! So annoying!
Has anyone else had anything like this? Any advice pls viroids! :-/

mae I've never had that issue with lube!

We managed a shag last night. I'm super bloated so I think I'll ice any day now. I told DP how I feel but he wasn't overly sympathetic. He kind of said we still need to try even if it's quick shags. I don't think he realises how stressful the TWW can be! I'm on holiday for most of it this time though.

Mae if you're using enough lube, there shouldn't be any friction at all. maybe just cut the tips off some condoms?!

Congrats pud !!! Do tell us all your symptoms.

jelly it would be funny to make the TWW real for DH by telling him about every single belly twinge and sore boob and text him from the loo with updates on cm and possible spotting. That should put him off!

Name: rehomedcitygirl
Age: 30
DCs: None. One mental puppy.
TTC: eeeek from tonight...

Hi everyone, lovely to meet you all and hear your stories. Basically after a huge year and a half of change (moving countries, getting married, starting two new jobs, buying a house and getting a puppy), life seems too simple now, so time to try for a baby...just hoping to start off shagging around the right time with a teeny bit of help from contraband when I manage to pee on it and not on my hand first thing in the morning just feels exciting to have a reason to be on mumsnet with other people in the same boat! Had my last blow-out weekend in London, and have a clear, less boozey diary for the foreseeable future...

Sorry lil I know I am lucky. I can't help but think that my last BFP was a fluke but we'll see. I somehow ended up down a rabbit hole, I don't know how you're doing this either, you must be very strong. The weird thing is, I said I'd give it six months before going contraband because six months isn't that long, and I'd have been very happy at that. Somehow the miscarriage has taken me to a baaaaaad place.

Thanks lala I should try the MA, for some reason, I'm really iffy about going on the MC pages both there and here.

honey that sounds so sad...I too was ok last month, a bit heavy hearted but glad I was up and running again.

Thank you for all the support. I'm sorry for being so down.

How is everyone this morning?

My cramps have gone now, I'm so aware of my body these days. Very strange. I think I ovulated late, hence all the cramping and that my period will be late. Not sure whether to POAS or just wait...(due on Friday).

Welcome citygirl :)

stoat me, cat and ewu are due to poas on Friday/Saturday, you should join us.

I'm entirely symptomless, in a way I'm kind of wishing af would just turn up at the end of the week so I can figure out my lp and understand my body/cycle better.

mae that's very odd especially with the lube thing. Two things spring to mind. One that your DP has some psychological issue about ttc and DTD hurts because he thinks it hurts because he is unsure? Two that he might have a physical issue with the foreskin? Is he circumcised fully partly or not at all? I don't know about this stuff but it might have an impact. Not friction but actual physical stretching (if not circumcised) or scarring (if circumcised). Gp visit for him maybe?

Hi city! Welcome!

Mae the only thing I can think is perhaps you're thinking about it a lot and inadvertently tensing? I used to do that as I had a real issue with pain during sex when I was on the implant. It meant I expected it to hurt so would tense. Took a while to get over it and enjoy sex again. As well as lube why not try a buzzy pal?
It will help you relax , you'll have fun together with it and it'll hopefully mean you'll be less tense.

Stoat I also found mc threads too much. The mca is just for browsing their info, you don't need to get involved with their forums.

Congrats pud that's wonderful news! If you are spotting you could ask the GP to refer you to EPU. The long periods are on your side here.

honey you've described exactly how I felt second month post mc - I just sobbed and sobbed all day when AF arrived.

Stoat maybe taking a step back would help? Just shag when you feel like to? I know it's such a cliché and easier said than done, but being relaxed about it often helps.

5hell I hope you get good news today.

Welcome City! It sounds like you've had a very busy time of it recently! You should totally get a ROC (e.g. old mug, shampoo lid, pineapple cup) to pee in to, and avoid getting it on your hands!