We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Morning viroids. I can't believe it's 11:30 and I've not posted yet...

Anyway, I'm very crampy / windy, so I have padded up for the arrival of the witch. I'm still optimistic she will come tomorrow not today. I'm not feeling my usual pre AF doom and gloom but I am getting sharp stabby pains in both sides of my lower abdomen and I can feel the gas bubbling away in there so I could be wrong and she will show up any minute.

Pickle I would just have one or two small drinks.

Just keep shagging girl. You could ice any time now.

Ok feeling a bit more gloomy now I have put it to paper, it really does seem like she's coming :(

sunshine - Just have a glass or two! As long as you don't get absolutely shit faced then you'll be fine. Even if you are pregnant, two glasses of wine before you've even missed your period is totally fine!

And imagine if it was the last time you COULD drink!

Gouda and Jelly you obviously both have more faith in my self control than I do. I think it will help that it's an expensive looking place we're going to so I'll barely be able to afford a glass of wine.

One of my old bosses was a fetal alcohol syndrome specialist so I'm super paranoid!

just what CD are you on and was last AF normal? I don't want to fuel the crazy but opks pick up hcg as well as LH. I got a stronger line on an opk than on my squinter hpt. its more likely you haven't ovulated again of course, and it is normal to gave up to 2annov cycles per year so don't panic.

jelly hooya to you for symptom spotting, even if it is witch spotting. ur not out until you're out.

Sunshine can you be driving?

Jelly, if she's not here, don't speak her name! like Beetlejuice

Honey meeting in central London so can't even pretend I'm driving. I was going to tell her that I'm taking metronidazole for a tooth abscess... But I'm awful at lying, I'm too elaborate & then get stuck. Might just be half honest & say that I'm trying to be more healthy.

I feel terrible viroids :( after moaning yesterday about sil getting pg in one month I've just had text to say she's lost the baby.

So upset for her:(

lil I'm on cd 19 and if I iced first time round only 8dpo so don't think there would be any hcg to pick up anyway. My last 5 cycles have been 26 or 27 days. Just annoying as we did so much shagging when I thought I was icing and only managed and sat this time. Have obv been banging like a good un but no jizz on any other time! Had a blazing row yesterday when dp didn't come. I was a bitch. Mum coming to stay tonight so shagging off menu until tomorrow.

I'm feeling really like I'm going to get af soon as I've got terrible pmt, see yesterday's bitch fest, horrendously sore nipples and feel really bloated. Maybe I'm just not going to ice this month. Feeling rather gutted. Jelly I feel your pain, feeling rather doom and gloom myself.

sunshine say you aren't drinking in the week anymore. I rarely drink on a school night even if I go out. holidays for me now so I'll be drinking all the wine

la that's awful, you will have to go and give her a big hug.

La, you are perfectly placed to be the comfort and friendly ear she needs now. If she doesn't know about your mc, now is the time to tell. And also smack, because try as we might, talking has no ability to prevent or cause mc. If you feel you need to "make it up to her" then do it by being her friend.

Oh no La, I'm so sorry for you and your SIL. Xx

lil yes last af seemed normal, a day longer than normal but otherwise pretty periody!

Viroids I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying. Feeling useless today. Feel like I should go on anti depressants coz I don't seem to be getting any better on my own. But what if I get pregnant, I don't want to hurt any child that I might have or it cause a miscarriage. I want a baby more than anything right now and I just don't know how I can ever achieve that feeling like this

jc go and ask doctor if there is anything that won't affect ttc. Ask about counselling too. Sending you hugs and

I'm down to have counselling but it's about a 2 month waiting list and I haven't heard when I'm starting yet. The doctor said they are fine, wanted to put me on ssri's but Google doesn't say the same

Jelly that's awful news for your SIL. Please don't feel bad for anything you said on here before, it's just one of those things.

JC lots of women take antid's when ttc, so go and talk to your gp. If you're not sure about medications have you tried something like CBT? I know waiting lists are huge but lots of useful cbt books are available while waiting.

oh la :( so sorry for your SIL. But as Honey said, there's nothing you could have done to predict it was going to happen. You know what it's like so you say the right things to her when undoubtedly people say the wrong things to her.

jc i think you should take the anti depressants. I know it's not ideal taking meds and TTC, but if you are struggling that much then you need to do something. Remember stress (i know this is a million times worse than stress) can negatively impact TTC, so you need to get your head in the right place first, and the drugs will hopefully do that. We are all here for you to rant at if that helps.

lil, honey, thanks. I'm just certain she's on her way. It always happens when I plan to POAS, I never reach the day I'm due to pee!

JC sertraline or citalopram both fine. I know Google says scary things. But there will always be a few really unfortunate people who something bad happens to, who will blame it on ADs, for the very understandable reason that they need a reason. But loads of women every year have successful and healthy pregnancies whilst taking them. This might not be totes scientific but I'd say you're much more likely to get knocked up - and to enjoy the whole experience - if you're mentally and physically healthy. So if you think you need them, take them. Bugs hugs (I know that's frowned on round here but dos it!).

Ooh, bugs hugs! I meant big hugs!

Eek. I meant La not Jelly, I'm getting very muddled today!

Ok thank you, I've calmed down a bit now. I think I need help and I won't get that any other way till my cbt starts. They've given me some online resources but it's finding the time (and motivation) to look at them. No idea when I'll get a doctors appointment for though

oh ain i forgot to say, Provera is a type of drug called medroxyprogesterone which i think is basically a synthetic form of progesterone. it's what I was on when my AF hadn't come back after the injection. Most birth control pills have a form of progesterone in them, which is why it's in the Depo shot. But it isn't the same and won't have the same effect

So sorry to hear about your sil la, I think what honey said was spot on really.

jc I'd just head back to the doctor and talk through your options, can you phone in the morning to get an appt that same day?

Sorry about your sil la

So I'm a saddo and watch neighbours, I've been away for a couple of weeks and even sadder I record all the episodes and am just catching up. There is a story line of a gay guy and his female friend. Gay guy is being a sperm donor and they AI ONCE and guess what?? Yep she is upduffed. FFS get some realism into your story lines.

Rant over - as you were....

jc huge hugs . Might it be worth considering some private counselling appointments before your referral comes through? Also, I'm sure we have had some recently graduated viroids on ad's? I have known a good few people on ad's ttc and have normal pregnancies. There is no shame in struggling and no harm in helping yourself. The most important thing to your future baby is your health, and that includes your mental health..

la sorry to hear about your sil