We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

By the way wimminz, where do you get your POAS's from? Do you order cheapo sensitive ones off ebay?

If so, can anyone send me a link?

Last month I was very much in the mode of "this isn't our month" but this month I seem to be more optimistic.

We don't have first response tests over here though, only the clear blue ones, so have to wait until the day of AF to test.

I might still join the collective urination on wednesday though......even though I know it's way too early! Maybe I could wait until friday....

Aw Jelly GX it's just the old arse rain.

Hope the spotting stops again Tink but good silver lining spotting if not...

Wine yes, I bleed a lot when pregnant. Sometimes it ends in tears, sometimes I only think it does...this one's a stubborn one :)

NRTFT but clearly she is BU.

OK, so theoretically speaking, under what circumstances do you get an early scan?

Jelly I hope it's just random tummy cramps and not AF.

Honey if you have bleeding you get an early scan, not sure about other reasons. Probably bad pains or extreme anxiety would get you a scan too?

I've got stabby right sided pelvic pains. Think the witch is coming to get me.

Honey - at my EPU it was bright red or heavy bleeding and/or pain. I'm sure there's other reasons too. Before I had mc I'd already decided I couldn't wait til 12 weeks and booked a private scan. It was only going to be £60, if when I get upduffed again I'll definitely be booking in...

Yes, I wonder if I get one because of previous mc, or if I will pay for an early one (which is fine, peace of mind and all that.)

They definitely didn't suggest I would if I got pg again... Stingy nhe, I can't imagine they would!

So I've just realised if I'm going to do this fanjo temping thing, my pjs are going to be a logistical challenge aren't they.

Crotchless pj's Niff?

Ha ha depends how loose they are. I generally pull my knickers to one side, but if they are granny pants I just reach on down. Thermometer is only small, after all.

sky I hope you're feeling better. That was me on friday, it took me all day and running out of pj bottoms to realise wearing a sanitary pad while vomiting was a good idea.

gouda did you want to smack him?!

OH is snoring and keeping me awake, he's miffed I didn't fancy a drunken shag. I'm sober and you stink of whisky. Not happening

evening all.

honey I think it depends on the PCT. it can't hurt to ask be a hypochondriac and cry until they say yes I've already decided I'd pay for an early scan now. unless we get pg via ivf again of course, then I'll be paying for a scan anyway!

jelly no! I hope its a false alarm.

sky hope you're feeling better

Oh no Sky does not sound like you've had a fun Sunday!

I'd be tempted to pay for an early scan too... I think after the trying for so long if when it does happen I'll need as much help getting through the first trimester as possible!

Okay - So I'm reading that provera can help induce periods - I will ask the doctor about it when I get an appointment. But... I've also just read it is the active ingredient in the depo injection... Confused!

Maybe I should go to bed and stop reading this stuff at 1am!

Morning viroids, hope you're all well. Still holding out hope for you jelly.

I've had about 4 hours sleep despite being exhausted so today should be fun.

Hope you're ok today sky

Squeezed in a shag while the dinner was in the oven last night but then I've woken up to find the living room blinds shut this morning which dh only ever does if he's having a sly wank. Suspicious...

Pud - I'm a sort of floral flannel pjs kinda girl (and I wonder why DH doesn't shag me more often...). I can't really imagine a crotchless version! Though they could be handy for cold winter night shags...

Morning!

Thanks Lil, will bear in mind. Guess I need a BFP first.

I do not wear pajamas. Au natural over here!

honey I was told by EPU after my mc that I would get an early scan at 8 weeks the next time if it ever happens I had a private early scan last time where mc was detected, wasn't the easiest situation to be in then as was difficult to be seen by NHS, ended up having to go sit in A&E for 8 hours, at this stage Id had mc naturally - bloody nightmare literally

Cat that sounds very miserable. I did wonder what would have happened if I'd ignored the bleeding I did exaggerate slightly to EPU how bad it was and stuck it out to private scan. I guess the nhs are pretty snotty about them.

honey - don't you get cold????

Niff floral flannel pj's sounds positively elegant to me! Our poor flat tries so hard to be helpful, but is like the class fuck up. It's so cold that I sleep in (mismatching) pj's, a dressing gown, and a super king sized duvet, whilst OH can't sleep unless he's got on wooly trousers, thick socks, a t shirt, jumper over the top and his own separate duvet.

Trick is to grab them either when they are coming out the shower or when you are!

No Gouda, my husband is a furnace.

Cat I sat in A&E too, as EPU only open for a few hours on a Saturday morning.

Gouda that sounds positively Arctic. I used to live in a house that was so cold your breath turned misty. How on earth do you ever manage to stay naked long enough to dtd? Mind you, in the freezing house I do recall shagging wearing socks, whilst trying to keep my feet on the hot water bottle! V sexy...

What is going on with my cycle? I'm still getting positive opks. So since Sunday. Normally they fade away next day after positive. When does this mean I'll ice?

Got a bastard headache today and got to go and spend day in London with my mum.

Gouda do we live in the same house? I wear fleecy pjs, dressing gown and 2-3 duvets in winter. It does make dtd a logistical nightmare in winter. Summer is much better.

Just I don't understand opks at all,but in your position I'd just keep on shagging.

Feeling on edge AF due tomorrow. Can't decide if I'm getting cramps or not, but I'm certainly very grumpy. I should be pleased as I had spotting from CD24 last month and was worried that my cycles were getting shorter and shorter. Out for dinner with a friend tonight and not sure how I'm going to not drink without giving myself away (and then I'll look really stupid when I'm not actually pregnant).

wow, I've been slow to join the latest Fred!
Name-ewu
age -29
Ttc - feb 2015
Dc - one furry one

Feeling very hopeful for jelly and tink....

I also struggle with a cold house - need to keep tucking the duvet in around us while attempting to be sexy

Im on cd 11 and I know I should pounce on DP later but iv had a 2 day long headache and it just seems like too much effort! Also since starting ttc, my regular 32day cycle has gone completely wrong. Its like my uterus is like "OMG SPERM! FINALLY" And forgot how to count days. Is that a thing?