We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

I've got a gp appointment for the 9th as that was the earliest. Don't feel like I can take an emergency appointment from someone who needs it. I'm starting acupuncture tomorrow, mainly to destress, so can't afford private counselling too

Oh, thanks for clearing that up Jelly - makes more sense.

JC I don't want to say I know what you're going through - depression is different for each person that experiences it - but if you ever want to talk, I'm here. The ad's may or may not help - I tried two different ones a few years ago and neither really appeared to do anything for me. But then there are plenty of people who they have helped. This time around I'm having counselling and it is really helping me.

As for feeling you can't take an emergency appointment - If you are feeling bad please take an emergency appointment. Depression is just as serious as other physical illnesses that need medical attention.

JC I second what ain said. Only you can make decisions for yourself so I wouldn't dream of pushing you in any particular direction (although apparently I have a bossy streak). But just to say I've spent a lot of time when depressed hating myself for taking up time that belonged to people who were really "ill". When I look back now from a position of health, fuck me I was iller than most of them! Just because it doesn't bleed doesn't make it - or you - any less deserving of help.

But again, you should do what feels right.

I think we all need big JS'er hugs!!

Hugs all around.

Thank you for the well wishes. I am still poorly but much better than yesterday thank goodness.

and all around

Afternoon, viroids!
Soz not posted for a while - been a busy day at work today been doing home admin during working hours. We're in the process of trying to buy a flat, so things are quite go go go at the mo.
Kinda feel like we have no idea what we're doing though! Where was the life lesson on how to generally be a grown up buy your own home? Pythagoras ain't much help now! unless you're buying a pyramid??

But yes, not posted in a day or two (busy at church yesterday n all), but I don't want to turn into a lurker, so just saying hi [waves].

Nif and Ain, good advice [thumbs up].

Sorry to hear about your SIL, La.
But as has been said, you are in a good place to support her.

la that's awful news about your sil. Try not to feel guilty - it's a totally human reaction to feel jealous when someone manages something first try when you have been trying for a while. No-one would ever dream of suggesting that you would consider the mc anything other than horrific.

All you can do is be there for her if she needs you.

Who is doing the collective weeing on wednesday? I might do a test on Friday or saturday. I know its too early, but I haven't done one in a while, and fri/sat takes me to 11/12 dpo.

I don't have any symptoms to spot though...

Glad you're on the mend Sky

Gouda I'm planning to POAS weds if the witch doesn't get here before then. I've been knicker watching all day just waiting for her to arrive.

yeh i'm part of the collective wednesday poas, but i highly doubt i'll make it (AF not broken will).

Afternoon Viroids

Love the idea of the pissing party but I feel I would get a massive hooya as if only be 6DPO. I will be cheering from the sidelines! Rooting for all you pissers!

La that's so rubbish about your SIL but you sound like the best person to support her.

Work has been so boring today, totally never ending but I have a job interview tomorrow so fingers crossed for new beginnings!

this monday isn't being kind to many of you is it!? and all round, things can only improve from here

realised Af due today and sure I can sense her arrival, but might theoretically be able to join the piss party Wed (although would require much luck, shopping for sticks and choosing a ROC)...time will tell...

Gosh I am late to the party- contraband alert. Is this a positive opk? Had ewcm yesterday too and temp dipped this morning

I would say that's pretty much positive country. Get shagging!!!

Is this one?

Evening. I am going to join the piss party. I will be 12dpo Have plenty of symptoms but am ignoring them as I don't dare get my hopes up.

Jelly have you got proper AF yet? Surely you've made it to 10dpo?

la your poor sil, she must be quite far along? but its just a coincidence that you said what you did yesterday. and you have to remember your story doesn't affect her story any more than hers affects yours. so you saying what you did is irrelevant to her situation. I agree with the others you will be well placed to help her through this if she wants you to.

JC you need to try the ads. I read a study that suggested depression reduced success rates in ivf. common sense dictates the same is most likely true for natural conception. we're all here if/when you need us.

Nothin yet honey. I'm gassy as fuck, crampy, boobs still hurt (must have looked like a right mug squeezing my boobs on the train just then) but she's not here yet (could be by the time I get home). I might just go to bed when I get in and claim I made it to 10 DPo

I think it counts! for making it!

I might join the poas party, but seeing as I'm only on CD12 and haven't ovulated it will be an opk instead I don't want to feel left out!

I'll only be 7dpo on Wednesday so no point me poas, I'll wave pom POM's from the sidelines instead. I'm already symptom spotting when I can't possibly have symptoms yet! wish I'd recorded my symptoms better when I was pg

Not keeping track this month so no idea what CD I am but as I am not due to test till 12th I think Wednesday would be a bit early

Will join lil with the pom poms!

Pom poms here too! Get shagging viroids!

Scan went fine today but there was lots of tears.

country yes that's positive! Shaaaaaaaag!!!!!

Which one ga first second or both. The second was yesterday's and first one was today's.

Both! country but the second one more so. I used to get 2 positives in a row too. Have you shagged? You must! Now and tomorrow.