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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The March Bus is rolling through Spunkland stopping for BFPs only!

993 replies

juneybean · 02/03/2015 17:56

#### STATS LIST ####

Welcome to the March bus, every one welcome!

Remember to update us and for ease please post your update in a separate post with lots of #### to signify an update.

I'm weaning you guys off the gin, it's not good for the eggies! Instead we have some of Sparkly's green gunk! Wink

Happy shagging/syringing! Grin

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23
chasingtherainbow · 02/03/2015 22:02

It's Saturday. . I'm so tired.

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:02

Welcome, Cremedevadge. How come you got a poncey blue box to write your comment in? Hmm? Hmmmmmm?? Is your mum Justine Wotsit, the head of MN?

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:08

What's wrong with pervy old imposters? I'd be upset if there wasn't a couple of 'em lurking on mumsnet whilst playing pocket billiards

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:10

I'm a perv :( but its no secret.

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PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:11

Thanks for wondering if I had drowned in spunk, Spinning and Sparkly. Can you believe my appointment at the hospital was 7.15 PM?! I almost, almost cancelled it when I realised I would be missing Emmerdale and Corrie. I know cancer of the arse is extremely serious but so is my addiction to soaps. Know wot I mean?

Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:12

juney, if you are also an old man, that could explain the lack of pregnancy!

PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:13

When I was a lapdancer I met so many pervs they all became one big blurred blob of normals. It felt quite proper to be asked by old men if I 'took it up the arse' for a tenner. What a cheek! I'd want at least twelve quid for that.

wotsits1 · 02/03/2015 22:14

Wretched vision of silver surfers with their hands down their pants envisioning stretchy cm. Need mind bleach to be invented immediately (although if you can leave the memory of that dream I had 2 years ago about Leo DiCaprio...that would be great!)

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:15

I wondered why it wasn't working nomio Wink

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spinningirl10 · 02/03/2015 22:17

Sparkly, you poor thing, you don't sound much better, hope you perk up soon. Yes it's lovely to have the house back to ourselves......I can walk around naked should I chooseSmile

Purdey, do you know if it's true that saliva kills sperm? I can always get dp in the mood that way but have stopped at ov time now.

Purplecuddlykoala14 · 02/03/2015 22:18

Evening all,
Too much to catch up with,
thepug my DH does shifts so When he's on earlies the alarm goes off at 4.30 - I normally just doze until about 6.30 before taking temp.
If there are any impostors they surly been scared off by the CM link.
juney is there not a website for like minded people, rather than scary randoms. And don't meet any of them on your own.
Hope everyone else is ok.
Cd18 so not much going on.

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:21

purple the only ones I've found are dead as a dodo or are full of super donors who have 100 donor kids and I seriously worry about incest!

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Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:21

I was wondering about the saliva thing too. I quite often go down there to get things going, but am a bit worried now.

wotsits1 · 02/03/2015 22:21

I think I have deciphered that once a woman begins TTC they suddenly become magical (a la Harry Potter). They gain the ability to manipulate their bodies into replicating preggo symptoms. Want nausea? You got it! Cramping? No problem! Sore bbs? Why not have them for 3 days?

If you aren't TTC and just want these ailments for a sick day off work... NO CHANCE!!!!

I'm expecting my Hogwarts owl any day now...

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:22

Definitely agree with you there wotsit that or I'm allergic to sperm!

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PurdeyBirdie · 02/03/2015 22:25

Spinning, my personal opinion of that myth theory is that it is absolute codswallop. How is sucking a man's penis going to prevent conception (unless you swallow, of course)?

ThePug · 02/03/2015 22:26

Hmm have you all read the 'pregnancy glamour' thread linked in the discussions of the day box? And we are all desperate for this to happen to us (again, in some cases)?!!

Avasmum8 · 02/03/2015 22:27

Evening ladies :) just spent the last ten mins catching up on the goss! Very bored tonight whilst DH is watching one of his programmes...?? Trying to comb the cat is an impossible task she keeps running away+/ bites me! Bloody long haired feline....

spinningirl10 · 02/03/2015 22:28

Ooh thanks for that Purdey......off to seduce dp nowGrin

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:28

Ooo ava what breed you got?

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Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:28

I just looked online about the sperm/saliva thing. Apparently it can stop them swimming properly.

Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:29

Could performing oral sex before doing the deed hurt my chances of getting pregnant?
If you’re trying to get pregnant, better tell your guy to keep his mouth away from down there. Sorry to spoil the fun, but while saliva doesn’t exactly wipe out all sperm, it does have a slight spermicidal activity. Research has found that when saliva was added to normal semen, it induced a “shaking movement” in 12 percent of the total sperm population. It only happened in high concentrations of saliva, but researchers did find that sperm motility (their ability to swim) was cut down significantly. Their conclusion was that saliva had a “deleterious effect on sperm motility and activity” and should not be used as a vaginal lubricant. So save the oral sex for days when you’re not ovulating and keep to the other kind of sex when the focus is on making a baby.+

Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:30

But surely your saliva isn't going up his urethra right?

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Original poster
juneybean · 02/03/2015 22:30

That's him doing you though

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Nomio230 · 02/03/2015 22:33

I think there would need to be a lot of saliva for it to make a difference though. Also, when a man goes down on a woman, I doubt much ends up inside her. I think I am going to ignore it & just carry on with us both drooling over each other's bits!

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