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Conception

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Original poster

TTC after mc #4

999 replies

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 12/02/2015 14:44

New thread

OP posts:
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15
gennibugs · 26/02/2015 09:05

Morning all.

I got baby bombed royally yesterday by two friends. Both pg and both have due dates super close to what mine should have been. How I held it together I don't know. I really don't. But I smiled and asked all the right things until I got home when I just dissolved into tears. I thought I was turning a corner but now I feel like I haven't. Im finding I'm terrified to bump into people or arrange to meet up with people for fear that they too will announce their happy news. Which makes me sounds like a bitch, and I'm not honestly. I'm just still so sad.

Sorry that's such a me me miserable post but I needed to tell someone and I have no one else to tell. Sad

chasingtherainbow · 26/02/2015 09:14

Genni ((Hugs)) it's so hard.

I'm really receptive to pregnancy and seem to clock it long before people have announced. The other day when I posted about being b.b .. I had met friends and soft play. Friend came in a sat down.. I watched her for a few moments and I just knew. My chest got a little tight and she looked at me and asked if I was ok... I asked her if she had anything to announce and yep. She was pregnant.

It's hard but I feel like I'm retreating into myself over the 2ww. I'm focusing on my body and really laying on the positive thinking.

Amyyy27 · 26/02/2015 09:22

Aww girls its horrible isn't it :( And then the guilty feeling for not being fully happy if that makes sense.. like you are happy but it brings pain and hurt too that the other person probably has no idea about. I'm trying to focus on myself too.. positive thinking!

HariboBrenshnio · 26/02/2015 10:25

Baby bombs are so difficult. I started a new job a few months back and two weeks ago a lady turned up to work (I just work on checkouts) clearly pregnant and had been off sick for 3 months. She then proceed to tell every single customer that she was pregnant, how sick she'd been, how if it was a boy she'd be devastated, how she doesn't know how she'll cope with two.. It went on and on and I had to force myself not to run away and cry. I was talking to another colleague when she came over and interrupted our conversation to announce she was having a boy. She's not spoken to me once and I'm sure she doesn't know my situation but it takes every strength I have not to just burst into tears. I'd love to be sick and figuring out how to handle two :(

From what iv been told, it does get easier. I'm really hoping that time is a healer, or a BFP! It's okay to be upset though. We don't want their babies, we're just desperately sad for our loss and it's hard to feel happy for others when your so sad yourself.

Amyyy27 · 26/02/2015 10:31

Haribo it saddens me that people don't think about what other's may have gone through. I get they are excited and I would be too but maybe don't shove it down people's throats when they could have been through hell and back after mc. I especially hate when people complain about being pregnant, as I would take it all just to have my baby back.

But nevermind.. life has to go on doesn't it and I hope time is a healer too.

brickiemum2 · 26/02/2015 10:42

I've just been down to the docs and he's taken blood to check my actual hcg result. Should get the result tomorrow.
I know what you mean about the baby bomb. My sil is pregnant and obviously we should've been preg together (though she lives 4 hours away and I've not actually seen her since she announced). She's moving house next month and asked me and hubby to go stay with them and help with the move......on mother's day Sad

Gr33dyeggs · 26/02/2015 12:11

Flowers and hugs all. Everything said is right - we're not wishing they aren't pregnant, it's the sadness of remembering where we should be and what we have lost.

TheBiscuitStrikesBack · 26/02/2015 13:05

Hi all. Thinking about starting again and just looking for some advice as what I have been told/researched so far is at odds.

I miscarried at 6 weeks on the 14th February - it wasn't a surprise, I just knew something wasn't right from around 5 weeks. Anyway, everything came away naturally and I stopped bleeding on the 19th.

I am desperate to be a mum and, after confirmation from the MW it would be okay as soon as the bleeding stopped, we decided to start trying again straight away. The MW said that fertility may even be increased in the 6 weeks following a MC.

I have now done some research on line and the general advise seems to be to not only not TTC until a period but to abstain from sex at all until after a period.

I'm now very confused and not sure what to do for the best. I really want a baby but don't want to put myself at risk of infections or anything.

TheBiscuitStrikesBack · 26/02/2015 13:06

Also very un-mumsnetty hugs to you all - this really is a rubbish place to be.

HariboBrenshnio · 26/02/2015 13:19

biscuit we started TTC as soon as I stopped bleeding. I didn't catch but I had no problems with infections. I do know people who got pregnant pretty much straight after a MC. Some people like to wait for their first period so they know where are they are with their cycles. Do what feels right. If you want to start TTC, do.

TheBiscuitStrikesBack · 26/02/2015 13:22

I want to scream and cry at the injustice I'm feeling but ultimately do want to start trying again. It took us so long to conceive last time that I don't want to hang around but it is a daunting thought. All the "I'm definitely pregnant this month" hopes and highs, followed by the crippling lows when my period starts. Stupid body.

Amyyy27 · 26/02/2015 13:27

Hi Biscuit Sorry you find yourself here Flowers

I think the only rules after mc are not to have sex whilst still bleeding, and waiting to try again until after BFN (this one is more advised so that you can calculate dates better and to guarantee everything has passed if you haven't had a scan).

Other than that there shouldn't be a problem with ttc straight away. :)

That's my opinion anyway from my research!

ladydoc · 26/02/2015 14:13

Hi all. Flowers to those who are feeling down. I agree with what others have said about the baby bombs. I feel guilty for feeling jealous, but I think that it is natural. I'm sure it will start to get a bit easier with time (or a BFP!). Congratulations to those with new BFPs! Great news, and I hope to join you soon.

I have been using OPKs for the first time this cycle, and am actually finding that they are making more anxious and obsessive which is not a good thing! Last time I got pg pretty quickly, and didn't chart or do OPKs - just dtd 3x/week. I decided to use the OPKs this month after my mc to re-assure me that my body is working. Has anyone else found that doing these tests/tracking made them more obsessive/anxious? I'm thinking I should just stop testing, and go back to nature IYSWIM.

gennibugs · 26/02/2015 14:26

biscuit I could have written your post myself. It took us a while to conceive too and I'm dreading all those highs and lows every month. We made this decision to ttc straight away, the epu and my gp assured us it was fine and I felt like we just don't have time to wait.

Thank you all for understanding. It really helps to know I can come on here and not be judged or made to feel like I'm going mad.

gennibugs · 26/02/2015 14:28

ladydoc I think do whatever makes you feel relaxed. I like opks mainly because we work quite long hours and DH is often away so we'd never manage to dtd eod etc and this way we can try to focus on a shorter window but i know other ladies find they make them obsess so don't bother. Just do with what makes you feel comfortable I say Smile

brickiemum2 · 26/02/2015 14:29

I've mentioned before that my dd was conceived 14 days after a mc so there's no way I'm going to think you're mad genni and biscuit

HariboBrenshnio · 26/02/2015 15:10

lady I like using OPKs and when we conceived the baby we lost, I fell first month of trying while using them. If they are making you feel anxious, go back to what you know and feel happy about. They should aid conception, not make it feel harder than it already does!!

Amyyy27 · 26/02/2015 15:25

Posted on another thread but thought one of you ladies might be able to help as I'm driving myself mad. I'm 5dpo today. I know I am - my opks temps and ov pain on the day confirm it. today I had a dull ache for a few hours with a tiny tiny bit of tugging... then short sharpish pains that have been going on for about 1-2 hours, not really painful but uncomfortable and my lower back hurts. I'm terrified this means implantation as I am almost sure I had read that at 5dpo it could be ectopic :( damn.. can someone please give me some advice?? tia!

chasingtherainbow · 26/02/2015 15:51

Amyy I think you are having good signs and since you can't possibly know the exact moment eggy was fertilised it could be closer to 6 dpo in hours iykwim. I think there is truly nothing to worry about.

Ofc you've freaked me right out since I can feel stuff in there already at 3 dpo. But this said since this am it's more centralised than left now.

Amyyy27 · 26/02/2015 16:06

Oh sorry Chasing I don't want to freak you out! I'm just having 'a moment' lol, ttc is so stressful, I'm just so desperate for this to be the month for so many reasons I think I am over-analysing everything!

GirlSailor · 26/02/2015 16:33

ladydoc I thought I would do the same this month and use ops just to check how my WTF cycle goes, as I can have a bit more of a guess as to how long it might be if I see a surge.

I've not started yet as waiting for the bfn but the sheer volume of tests that I seem to have bought because they were better value makes me worry that I will spend FAR too much time peeing on things.

If you keep me in line I can offer a calming picture of wine... Wine?

Original poster
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 26/02/2015 16:39

Amy I think it's natural to just become hyper aware of every tiny twine when ttc. I have all kinds of symptoms if I think about it- nausea, tiny cramps, sore nipples, painful gums. But how many of these do I usually have during the luteal phase?
Most of them I think. Don't remember feeling anything different from usual during tww of my 2 pregnancies.

OP posts:
ladydoc · 26/02/2015 17:21

Thanks all. I think I might try and stick with these opk's for a few more days, but am going to stop after that. Too expensive and stressing me out. Hubby thinks I've gone nuts!

Gr33dyeggs · 26/02/2015 19:09

Hi ladies. Goodness knows its very early here, but people up thread were asking about things you're doing different. With all my 4 BFPs I've been eating natural yogurt and honey a few times a week. I can't remember why - I think it may be the honey that has alleged benefits. Now I'm more focusing on the yogurt to keep the thrush away! Good luck and fx for each of you.

Amyyy27 · 26/02/2015 19:21

Thanks guy im sure youre right!