Rolling rolling rolling, the February bus is still rolling!

[juneybean]

Here we are...

...Of course that is not to say it can't happen. There will always be a minority of women Spinning with unusually high ovarian reserves in their forties. They are the ones who are successful and from whence the anecdotes of how easy it is to become pregnant in one's forties originate.

So, Sparkly, the SMEP would have me miss sex today and do it again tomorrow, despite my pos opk being three days ago. What is the point of the final sex sesh? It makes no sense; either we go with the opks (which pinpoints ov 48 hrs later at the most) or we don't. Grr!

Thanks so much for taking time to reply Purdey. We could afford it but couldn't decamp to Prague as we both have demanding jobs and my DC to consider. I'm not sure I'm up for IVF.

purdey Trying to get my head around it. Lets say you get a positive on a opk (Mon), after that surge you try that night and 2 further nights (Tues/Wed) because ov can take up to 36 hours. So Wed morning you ov and though it is normal to see a temp rise (to indicate ovulation) 1-3 days after your +opk, it might take up to 5 days! So if your egg also lasts 24 hours then carrying on DTD for 5 days after your positive is beneficial, no?

Obviously it's not for everyone Mad but there are lots of children needing fostering and adopting :)

Purdey I agree with you entirely - I was completely prepared for my CP and therefore quite matter of fact about it when it happened. I think the anecdotes aren't really helpful to a woman in her 40s desperate for a child. I admire you for taking charge of your fertility and now you have Nancy to show for it.

One happy story! A friend of mine had her first DC at 42 and the second at 45 naturally with her dh. Two or three miscarriages in between (I forget) and a couple before the first. I think they only started trying after she turned 40. He is about eight years older than she is. But there are happy stories! Though admittedly scarce.

Mustbe, it depends on how desperate you are for a baby. I was desperate and childless and it ended up being the most exhilarating and not-very-nerve-wracking jaunt ever. I loved it. I can't believe Nancy is mine and that she is a product of that amazing experience and those clever, clever embryologists. She is a first-attempt miracle and I will always, always evangelise about donor egg IVF and those Czech clinics - and, of course, those generous donors.

Purdey do you have the link to the article? I am too lazy to trawl back through & find it. I hope it is not true, as I am taking Maca root, Q10 & multivits.

I am even more confused now as to what is going opn with my cycle. I had a big temp rise this morning, so FF is now saying that I ov'd 2 days ago, but have woken up with a cold. Given my negative opks, I am thinking the rise is more likely down to illness.

Also, I have lots of cm today, but tiny traces of blood in it again. Aaaaaargh! Just want this cycle to be over.

victoria This has pretty much already been said, but I would urge you to seriously think about whether you want to live your life with someone like that. Yes, leaving would be hard, but I honestly believe it would make you happier. If dh won't even admit he has a problem, there is no helping him. Whatever you decide, we are all here for you.

Night I agree - I have two pals who have adopted siblings.

On a positive note - everyone I know around my age who wanted a child got there in the end, by one route or another.

Mummy, if we are going with the science bits, your analogy points to ov occurring at the latest on Weds, right? Let's say the egg can be fertilised up to 24 hrs later, that means sex up until Thursday, yes? So....why would SMEP instruct us to have sex Mon, Tues, Weds, miss Thursday and do it again Friday? It's bullshit, man! The egg fecking carked it on Wednesday afternoon Thursday morning!

Adopting siblingsbis something that I think DH and I will consider when the time comes.

Like you say there are so many ways to get the family that you want :)

I think just due to the anomaly of people who get a positive Monday but temp rise up to 5 days afterwards Friday. So maybe the plan should say, track your temps and DTD the day after ov just incase DH has sperm that can get there in 2 hours and your egg hasn't died yet.

Purds oh I just can't explain the smep! I have no clue! All I know is we never followed it any other cycle than the one I got preggers so I'm sticking to it ha ha. Nancy pants is a miracle you are right

Austral great story!!!

Night both my pals have had a hugely positive experience with their adoptions. My DP says he's lucky to have my DC in his life and what will be will be

Nomio, Alternative therapy unsubstantiated nonsense written by a tree-hugging, khaftan-wearing bird called Cressida

Thanks Mad good to know that it works out well for people :) fx for you!

Vicky my lovely my dp used to be the same always on the computer and his mates were always round on the game with him it used to drive me absolutely mad! We had many an argument about it but hes got loads better and he keeps his gaming mainly to times im not in. You need to work out what you want and need from the relationship and if he can give that to you. You deserve the best. Anyway you know where I am if you need a chat.

I cant remember who said it but i just wanted to say that positive opks dont definitely mean you ovulated it just shows a surge. Temping or a blood test is the only way to confirm.
I was getting positive opks but not ovulating!

Urgh I asked the mn guardians of decency to withdraw the post above as I should probably not post details about DPs affairs without asking first especially as it is somewhat identifiable if you follow the right channels. hangs head in shame at being too over-zealous

This is such a powerful thread - TTC, via whatever means, is a whole heap of emotional fuckery isn't it? Brings out all our relationship issue, doubts, fears and insecurities and sticks them in the spotlight

I have moments when I wonder what I am dong as I am so afraid of being a bad parent (TTC #1), although I have no reason to think this other than my own self-doubt. I'd like to think I'll do a half-decent job should I be lucky enough to get the chance.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming where I whinge about my cycle - purdey and other wise experienced people, can you advise me on the ethics of drinking alcohol pre-test day? I'm supposed to be going out with some friends on Friday (CD 23 of 27) and I'd like to have a glass or two of wine - it will be suspicious if I don't, considering that this is a big night out and I'm known to enjoy a shandy or two - but would this be damaging? I'm assuming implantation won't have occurred by then? Obviously I wouldn't drink more than maybe two small glasses over the evening. Acceptably European and relaxed? Or too Jeremy Kyle for words?

Purds I think I am going to ignore what the hippy dippy woman says & just keep throwing supplements down my neck. She is not even a Dr, just a doula, which doesn't even require any qualifications.

The benefits of both Q-10 & Maca root have been shown in countless tests over the years & I have not found any studies which say either of them can cause negative interactions with Clomid, so I reckon we are ok. Us oldies have to do everything we can to get our bfp!

Mummy, yes, I'm liking that strategy! Sparkly, I revere your opinions on evryfink coz you was practickly an instadiffer, innit

DH: "I'm absolutely knackered."
Me: "Why's that, love?"
DH: "Because I've been up since half-past-six and the only half hour I've had to myself I 'ad to beat me meat for the umpteenth time."

knit I say go for it. I am pretty sure you won't have implanted by then & as long as you don't get completely off your face, I am sure any little beans will be fine.

Knitfast ah have you missed the Daily Fails article the yesterday? Basically saying no.. No to TTC and no to first 3months.. Details here:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2946814/Women-trying-conceive-three-months-pregnancy-not-drink-new-guidelines-recommend.html
It's hugely controversial so who knows sorry!!

Victoria I want to give your husband a wee slap - I'm in your neck of the woods and my husband moved hundreds of miles to live here with no ill effects, so your husband can stick that in his pipe and smoke it! in all seriousness, I do think the SW (perhaps moreso outside of Bristol) is quite conducive to homebodies - I know a lot of people from round here who just never leave, live in the same street as parents etc - which is fine, but your DH seems to be taking it to the extreme! He also sounds like he's having a bit of a freak out over the life change that will come with parenting, which is perhaps why he's clinging to 'home'. If he really won't talk have you thought of writing down what you want to say and letting him read it in his own time? Not that his behaviour is acceptable, but some people REALLY can;t deal well with 'we need to talk' - so perhaps worth a try?

Regardless, he HAS to listen to your concerns one way or another - it's not optional, you deserve better