All aboard the Feb bus, as we finally take off

[Blue500]

New bus ladies, bring on those Bfp's!

My happy things are exercise or baking or just getting out for a walk/run in the fresh air, any of these always lift my mood.

victoria, I'm with you all the way on those practices.... I've been seeing a therapist weekly since diagnosis 4 years ago (we have an amazing local charity who offer this for income-assessed rates) who is very keen on mindfulness and positive affirmations. I always thought it would be jumbo jumbo but it's helped no end and I've also a much better understanding of what makes me tick and what has caused some of my thought patterns. I've even built some mindful practices into some of my work with kids at school (I have a pastoral management role) and see the impact it has on them.

There is such a lack of understanding with mental health still. purdey and knitfast hats off to you both at sticking to your guns and knowing what's best for you.

crazypug, FF thinks I'm 11 dpo, I think 9... So by our own estimations we are cycle twins. When are you going to POAS?

I think you're right Purdey, 3am and tomorrow night shagging it is then

Adult colouring is a great idea especially when you have a little one and can't always get out.

Well I have sat and sulked all day and have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't cut my nose of to spite my face. I will continue TTC next cycle as well as demand tests from my doctor. If they won't test me I will 'go Rambo on their ass' to use purdeys phrase.

Hmmm mental health has such massive stigmas. It makes me mad. My dd has some problems and has been passed around from pillar to post. The system where I am is crap, she's still waiting for an appointment after her last emergency appointment. When she first had problems dh was only worried about how things would look to his friends and clients!! We are no longer married!

I honestly don't think you can beat CBT for its mindfulness and self-awareness philosophies. Priceless. Learning what it is that drives our behaviours is key to some serious contentment, in my opinion.

Crazy & Ibeka, I'm happy to look at your charts if you want to post them. I'm intrigued..

Sarky, you go, girl! We are with you all the way and will hold your hand through any appointments and tests you have. Don't give up.

Spinning, I'm sorry your daughter's health issues have been treated with disdain. What an inhumane chap he was you married!

ibeka if my cycle is my normal 28 days then AF is due Thursday but my temps show I ov'd late (CD18 by my estimation, CD20 by FFs) so I'm thinking of testing Sunday (CD32) if AF hasn't shown her face by then.

Wonder if I can join you, am doing home insemination as a single and recklessly ordered some sperm for next week (will in fact be my third cycle of trying - did IUI last year which failed)

So worried I may have got timings off as I understand frozen sperm doesn't last as long in the uterus as fresh but am hopeful...!

Ha ha, have we piqued your interest Purdey?

Days 2 and 7 po according to the chart (days 4 and 9 by my estimation) where the low points are I randomly woke up at 5am, checked the time and went back to sleep before waking up and taking temp at 7.30am so can be taken with a pinch of salt I think.

Welcome Juney, good luck. I know nothing about frozen sperm but I hope it works for you.

Crazy, how many pugs do you have?

Thanks Purdey, it took me quite some time to realise what a twat he was!

Crazy, I actually agree with FF about ov being on CD20. I'd be interested to see how your temps behave from hereon in as they are pretty low thus far, even if you discount 2- and 7dpo.

Juney, welcome! Another lady and myself are also using AI at home so you are among friends I am jealous of your (presumably) bionic and young sperm (from a sperm bank?) Does it arrive at your home frozen or what? Can you help me understand the process better?

Juney, I know from my IVF research that frozen sperm does not have a good success rate of surviving the thawing process. Do you have any figures on this? I'll have a google myself..

Woah so much to read back...

Sending positive thoughts to everyone, it's been a hard couple days on the bus. So sorry to everyone going through it all. these forums are just so so helpful and everyone is so supportive, I hope having everyone's thoughts give you strength and hope.

Purdey I can't believe you made that!!! And spent so long in rehab-remarkable. What a long journey you have had. We couldn't possibly have these buses without you ... I for one will not be going anywhere until I see you get your BFP. You are a compassionate, strong, intelligent woman. We all love your input and advice. We need you! So don't go anywhere! I only wish we could all offer you the same knowledge (and humour!) you give us!

I am soooo with you all with regards to mental health and the terrible way in which Some NHS professionals treat you. I have been lucky enough to somehow get through the past ten years of chronic bad health without adding depression to my list. I don't know how I've escaped it but feel so badly for those who suffer with it and are made to feel so alone by the medical profession. I have battled with them for years for my health, I've been made to feel stupid, weak and irrational over my time too, all because of a lack of knowledge for my conditions and because they don't have a pill to treat me with . It's a battle over and over and I am so dismayed with the system a lot of the time. It's awful to need so much help and be left so alone. I spend a lot of time in bed/housebound and so I kind of relate when people are discussing how to boost yourself or what you do to make yourself feel better.. I believe a lot in the power of positive thinking/visualisation and am also using this in TTC. It can only help!

I think there are a lot of very strong woman on this bus and everyone is due some good news soon. Bad times do not last forever.. This February bus is going to take a good turn soon I can feel it, and for now I'm sending to all those feeling

COME ON THE BFPs!

Welcome Juney myself and my dh are doing AI at home. I was successful on cycle 4 then had a very early mc but back on the horse again and hoping for another BFP soon. I'm sorry I don't know much about frozen sperm sorry. Are you using the needless syringe method?

spinning just one. I always intended to rescue another once the one I have was an adult but it just hasn't worked out with work etc and now I think he's too used to being the centre of attention. His breeder had a young child and he seems to have developed a fascination with kids from there. Kids can do anything to him and he doesn't bat an eyelid.

Purdey I hope it wasn't CD20 as that puts our DTD at completely the wrong time. TMI time... I put ov at CD18 because I had lots of EWCM that day but had almost no CM on CD19 and I believe you 'dry up' very quickly after ov. Does that sound right?

Evening darlings.

Yay pikz and sparkly sounds like we're gearing up for a bit of a party?

Crazy, let me explain the maths behind FF's pinpointing of ovulation: for them to confirm ovulation they have to see a succession of three temperatures that are higher than the previous five. Now, there will always be the odd anomaly where a random temp pre-ov was sky high and looks really dodgy - FF will ignore it. Looking at your chart, if you were to assume ov occurred on CD18 then the previous four temps would have to be lower than those on CD19, 20 and 21. This doesn't happen though, as the temps on CD19 & 20 are as low as the temp on CD17 and actually lower than the temp on CD14.

I hope this makes sense.

...and, crazy, please don't rely on the appearance (or disappearance) of ewcm. It's simply not an exact science.

Can I jump on board please? I've been lurking a little, as I wasn't sure about this month. Here 's my stats: Age: 32, TTC#1, cycle 1. I came off the pill in November and haven't had a natural period since, but mid-January I was prescribed Norethisterone and had a withdrawal bleed, then blood tests on CD4. I got the results today and they are ok, plus I started OPK with the cb digital dual hormone tests and got a flashing smiley face on Sun (CD10), so we dtd on Sunday night. DH was working til late last night, so we're planning to dtd again tonight. I haven't got a fixed smiley yet, it's still flashing, but every day it's like a new revelation- I think that I have watery cm today, so all the signs are good!

Have learnt so much that I hadn't got a clue about until this month! It's CD12 for me today. Hoping I get a fixed smiley soon. If I don't get a btp this month, I'm just hoping my cycles will settle and be regular. I can't remember what they were like before I went on the pill, let alone anything to do with ovulation, so it really is like I'm learning about my body from scratch. During Nov and Dec, I was desperately hoping for a period but feeling nothing; now, I have a good feeling that I'm on track. I also had acupuncture last Friday and was taking agnus castus last week, but stopped that when I got the flashing smiley.

Looking forward to starting my TTC journey with you all :)

Thank you all for the welcome.

Purdey the sperm is coming in a nitrogen case apparently (horrifying...hoping I don't lose any digits in the process!) and can last up to 7 days... No idea about the thawing process but presumably everyone who uses donor sperm in a clinic is using frozen sperm that I have to hope one little fella can cope and get to the egg!

Sparkly so sorry about your mc. Are you using your husbands sperm or a known donor? The kit from the clinic comes with a syringe but I guess one could use a calpol syringe if they so wished

I'm struggling with temping as I keep waking in the night, but have been recording it regardless. I'm awaiting some OPK coming to start on day 9, I've heard doing them mid afternoon is the best time?

purdey thank you so much, that really explains a lot. The trouble is, the temps from CD10 - about CD17 aren't all that reliable either as I had full-on woman flu. Didn't sleep at all CD14 but carried on taking temps just to try and make it a habit. See why I'm not holding out much hope the month?

Saying that, it'll be very interesting to see if I get a more 'normal' chart next cycle without all that going on.

purdey should add that I have to thaw it at home, from reading the bank site, once allows it to reach room temperature for 10 minutes then should use it within 30 minutes.

Juney, I use opks twice a day, at about 11am and 4 pm. Sometimes if I'm expecting a positive I'll try again at 9/10pm. I drink a lot of water though and I think this has sometimes given me a negative.

Crazy, I love pugs. They have such gorgeous faces. Good news that yours is so good with children.

Argh! I can't keep up. Firstly, Sparkly, your message warmed me cockles. Thank you for being so generous- hearted..with all of us. I agree there are some incredible women on this bus. We are all so different and yet have similar issues and demons when we begin to share.

I wish I had spent my TTC journey doing things to make me happy. As the months rolled by with no bfp I became paralysed in my desperation for a baby. I stopped looking up at the sky and ignored the things I suspected would take me away from my TTC obsession. Such an unhealthy way to live.