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Angels and Rainbows - remembering our angels and praying for rainbows (thread2)

545 replies

townsender · 25/01/2015 00:08

Time for a new thread, a sad welcome to any newcomers.

Introducing myself:
Name: Town?
Age: 34
Angel: DD 'G' born Feb14 at 27w by EMCS, lived 12 days (oxygen starvation at birth due to cord prolapse)?
Other DC: none?
TTC/Rainbow: TTC since Nov14, currently incubating a pea

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Chottie · 14/02/2015 03:04

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages x

Town, that is such wonderful news your DPs will be so delighted.

vicky if it's any help, DD and I just took her whole pregnancy from appointment / scan to appointment / scan and did not look any further ahead. We just thought let's just get to x weeks and when that happened, we looked ahead to next little milestone. tbh, 40 weeks was just too far ahead to hope.

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LakeOfDreams · 14/02/2015 05:26

Sorry for this but I all alone and need to off load a bit. About 4am on my nightshift got sudden abdo cramps like bad period pain went to the loo and realised there was loads of bright red blood. Just kind of abandoned my patients and came to the emergency room to see if there is anything they can do. So disappointed and feel guilty for having abandoned work in the middle of such a busy shift too

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Chottie · 14/02/2015 06:38

Lake please don't feel guilty at all. You need to have medical care and attention, you are doing the right thing. Fx for you and a gentle hug.

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Ducky23 · 14/02/2015 07:10

Lake, don't feel bad, you deserve care when something is going on too. Fingers crossed for you, really hope it's ok x

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townsender · 14/02/2015 08:43

Shit Lake, don't feel bad. I did exactly the same thing 10 days ago when I when to the loo at work and found blood. Hesitated on the loo for about 1 minute going 'shit shit shit' and then just grabbed my stuff and headed for the hospital.

Have they seen you yet? I'm keeping all my fingers crossed for you that the bleeding stops and turns out to be nothing.

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LakeOfDreams · 14/02/2015 09:47

The gynaecology reg who I know (he did offer to find someone else but nothing says mates like an internal exam!!) anyway cervix is closed hcg is fine booked for a scan tomorrow lunchtime. Although the sister on epu said it might not be very reassuring as it may be too early to find a heartbeat! Could do without anymore stress

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Flambola · 14/02/2015 12:22

Don't feel guilty, you come first.

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vicky123uk · 14/02/2015 20:57

lake fingers crossed, let us know how yu get on tomorrow please as we'll all be thinking of you x x

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LakeOfDreams · 14/02/2015 21:27

Driving myself crazy today, must have done 4 hpts bleeding is just when I wipe still got some mild cramps. Just need to let nature take it's course I guess but it's so frustrating. Told DH he must come to the scan with me tomorrow. He thinks it must be a miscarriage as there was blood so we will see what they think tomorrow

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Ducky23 · 14/02/2015 21:31

Keeping everything crossed for you lake x what time is your scan? I'm sorry I don't know much about this stuff but isn't the fact your cervix was closed a good sign? Sending you a massive hug and will be thinking of you x

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MademoiselleG · 14/02/2015 21:34

Lake how many weeks are you? I am so sorry. It must be so terrifying.

Sorry everyone, for not being too proactive here anymore. I try to forget that we are ttc and I am trying to let positivity take over in my life. Not done very well these last few weeks, it's been bloody miserable and tough.

Sending hugs to all the familiar names, ducky, kayleigh , critter , lake , betty and of course everyone else I haven't had a chance to interact much with so far. You're all one big bunch of rather wonderful women x

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EllieandAnna · 14/02/2015 23:06

Hi everyone, just checking in again, been away for a while as I think I needed a break (not just from here but life in general!) Looks like I've missed a whole lot! So sad to see so many new people join recently, I really hope you have plenty of support in rl.

Lake I'm so sorry you're having the stress of a bleed, I really hope everything is ok. Wishing you all the luck I csn for your scan.

I'm not going to lie, I've had a few struggles recently and I wish I'd just come on here to vent but I let it all get on top of me! A couple of ladies I work with have announced pregnancies and whilst I have been thankful at least one has approached me first, I have struggled with the public announcements. I feel like a hole is being burnt through me when it happens, everyone is checking for my reaction! Am currently trying to get fit, as a lady who went through a similar experience to us all is raising money for a bereavement room at the labour ward I gave birth in. I'm hoping to raise some money and do something positive.

I hope everyone is doing well. For those who are pregnant, although I know your pregnancies are not going to be stress free I hope everything goes well. Wishing BFP's for those trying, out of interest who is still ttc? MynAF turned up so I have had my first unsuccessful cycle, which stupidly has got me worried! I know I was 'lucky' the last two times I conceived straight away it has still got me thinking.

Hugs to everyone x

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LakeOfDreams · 15/02/2015 08:19

I'm feeling more calm this morning still have some AF type cramps but no more bleeding since last night. Cervix being closed is a good sign as it meant I wasn't miscarrying at that point although he did say it didn't mean it wasn't the start though hopefully not as the bleeding has stopped. The whole thing shocked me as in my head I still thought I'd be as relaxed as last time and I'm clearly not! I'm also annoyed as I had to tell people at work so I could go to the emergency room which means loads of people know and I didn't really want anyone at work to know this early, the nurses I work with are lovely but such a bunch of gossips!!

We will see what the scan says today, I think I should be 6+2 and really hope they find a heartbeat even though they've already said they probably won't. Scan is at 11:45 apparently they may scan me again next week if they don't find a heartbeat as it should be there by 7 weeks

Madem sorry life has been tough hope things get better soon

Ellie the midwife at the EPU told me over the phone that the bleeding might have been from conceiving so soon after a birth even though E would have been 6 months on the 25th. So as frustrating as it is perhaps later is better!! What are you hoping to do to raise money such a lovely idea. My DH is trying to raise some money for aching arms they sent us a bear after E died it gave us both quite a lot of comfort. Good luck

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MademoiselleG · 15/02/2015 08:41

Big hugs Ellie and good luck at the scan today lake.
I'm ov so better put cartoons on for dd...Grin!

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Ducky23 · 15/02/2015 08:56

Good luck today x

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townsender · 15/02/2015 09:10

lake good luck today. If it helps, I was almost exactly the same stage as you (6+0) on the day I got bleeding and cramps, and when they examined me my cervix was closed but she could see a trickle of blood coming from it. The nurse tried to convince me it was implantation bleeding (which I think is b*cks) but it does seem to be really common early on, and often is no issue at all. So I would take what the MF said with a pinch of salt ..... If you have stopped bleeding now (other than spotting) then thats an excellent sign.

Don't worry too much about hb at this stage - it is really early. You probably know way more about this than me, but I found my early scan a relief even though they didn't find a HB, as they could see it wasn't ectopic, and there was no bleeding from around the yolk sac. I went back a week later at 7+1 and the HB was really strong.

Ellie exercise is fantastic for grief, especially if you can get out in the fresh air. I usually am a lazy sod when it comes to exercise, but it was my saviour while I was on mat leave. And you'll be amazed at how generous people are if you are raising money in memory of your angel.

Lunch with my folks today - am going to wear a nice baggy top and try my hardest not to tell them I'm pg. Its the last time we'll see them before I'm 12 weeks, so only need to get through today and then I'm sure I'll be able to keep the secret until after the scans.

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LittleTulip · 15/02/2015 10:24

Sorry this is a flying visit.

Just wanted to say good luck today Lake for your scan I have everything crossed for you. It must be so scary.

And welcome also to the newbies, Flambola I am really glad you found us. Chottie, many congratulations to you and your daughter.

Will catch up properly soon Flowers

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Cakebaker35 · 15/02/2015 13:39

lake I really hope your scan gave you reassurance, thinking of you xxx

madem good to see you back here, I'm sorry you're having a rough time and feel free to vent away anytime you need to. It's great you're trying to let positivity take over but I know it's really hard to put into practice so hang in there x

ellie good to see you back too, I'm also trying to focus a bit on getting back some fitness, it's good to get out in the fresh air and do a few short runs It's great you're raising money for such a good cause, what a fantastic motivation for you x You asked if anyone is ttc - well not exactly yet but I'm very hopeful that dh can get through his struggles with ptsd and will feel ready to soon. We have only recently dtd since losing W back in October, so not exactly all guns blazing but it's a step forward. Currently using withdrawal method which I know is pretty effective but there is a part of me hoping to get pg to avoid all the ttc stress which I know is daft Blush - I used to be quite sane before all this! Like you I've got pregnant quickly in the past so I'm even stressing about how long it could take before we are even properly ttc, I need a slap! I'm sure you will get your bfp soon, are you using ov kits etc or just dtd lots?

town hope you enjoy lunch today, it must be super hard not to tell your parents, I admire your will power! X

Big waves to everyone else x

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LakeOfDreams · 15/02/2015 13:55

Just a quick stop by the scan showed everything looked fine there was a little heartbeat but not strong enough to be readable. Bleeding seems to have settled. There is a thing on my ovary she said that is probably where the pain and bleeding was coming from but it might go by 12 weeks.

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LittleTulip · 15/02/2015 14:07

That is wonderful news Lake. Hope you are taking it easy Flowers

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kayleighferrie1985 · 15/02/2015 16:24

town what lovey news about you sil, i'm sure your parents will be over the moon for you all. I hope your lunch with your parents was lovely.

lake bless you for feeling guilty about "abandoning" work (although you really shouldn't feel bad- you were worried and understandably so). I'm glad your scan looked good, and that the bleeding seems to have settled down. Regarding the thing on your ovary- will that be something they keep an eye on for you?

madem sorry to hear you've been having a tough time of it recently, i hope things ease off a little for you soon Flowers

AFM well my scan letter finally arrived- i'm having it on 5th March, so a week after i see my consultant, but at least i know when various appointments are now so i don't need to worry about ringing people to chase them up. I've got a few questions for my consultant so i think i'm going to write them down so i don't forget them. DC's are on half term now so a week of not rushing around in the mornings is a delight Grin

xx

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Chottie · 15/02/2015 17:21

Lake wonderful news, so pleased for you.

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Ducky23 · 15/02/2015 17:34

Great news lake x

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vicky123uk · 15/02/2015 18:56

Really pleased lake let's hope that that is your share of the drama done and dusted for this pregnancy and its all plain sailing from here until you get a beautiful bundle in your arms x x

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townsender · 15/02/2015 20:18

Hooray Lake!! Are they going to scan you again in a week, or is that it for now?
Also, weren't you meant to be on holiday for 2 weeks? Time to put your feet up for a bit if you are (but sorry if my memory is crap) - hopefully no more extra shifts for a while?!

Lunch with parents was really nice, and I managed not to tell them. Smile And I found out that DB didn't tell them until after they'd had the 12 week scan (not really surprising with their mc history), so I won't be out of line.

kayleigh good plan to write down questions for the consultant - I should start doing that for my booking appt. Enjoy half term.

X

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